Lalala One Year older
Ok so I've been freaking out about today since basically six months ago. Why? Well today's my birthday. Despite usually making the best out of the day when it usually isn't that great, I've been dreading turning 20 and feared that without the positive attitude I usually have, the day would suck royally.
See, i've had this thing about getting older. Major Peter Pan syndrome. I think too much in general but there are times when I think about getting older and after a while, I start to compound the concept of time and recognize how short life is. So then all I can think about how much time has passed and guess how quickly the REST of my life will be, knowing it might seem normal at the time but in retrospect be way too fast for comfort. Meaning death, despite being young, is still closer than I'd ever want to imagine. Depressing right? This amplified by the fact that 20 marks the end of my teenage years. While 18 is still considered an adult, 18 and 19 means you're still a teenager and can still be expected to act like it. Being in your 20s means that your supposed to be getting to your real adult life, or else be dubbed "immature" if you're still partaking in college antics (even being in college. Once you think of someone as 22 and acting like that it becomes somewhat of a negative connotation. Hence why "college" has actually become an AGE)
ANYWAY
I was wrong. Today has been so special and great that it's almost seems unfair. So many well-wishes (seriously they're on facebook which reminds them it's my birthday but it's still nice to know that they see and care enough to extend a small "happy birthday" to my wall, I guess I'm just a sucker for small gestures) and unexpected kindness. My roommate made me a chocolate cake from scratch last night and counted down until midnight with me and a relatively new friend drew me an awesome portrait. Special cards from loved ones as well as friendly phone calls have been so appreciated that I can't even pretend to be upset about getting older. Even the weather, which has been raining for the past few days, decided to clear up and given me the most perfect spring/summer day.
So all in all, I guess I've learned that I won't ever be too old to succumb to natural irony. I want to share my birthday blessings to everyone and hope you all have just as good a day. :)
See, i've had this thing about getting older. Major Peter Pan syndrome. I think too much in general but there are times when I think about getting older and after a while, I start to compound the concept of time and recognize how short life is. So then all I can think about how much time has passed and guess how quickly the REST of my life will be, knowing it might seem normal at the time but in retrospect be way too fast for comfort. Meaning death, despite being young, is still closer than I'd ever want to imagine. Depressing right? This amplified by the fact that 20 marks the end of my teenage years. While 18 is still considered an adult, 18 and 19 means you're still a teenager and can still be expected to act like it. Being in your 20s means that your supposed to be getting to your real adult life, or else be dubbed "immature" if you're still partaking in college antics (even being in college. Once you think of someone as 22 and acting like that it becomes somewhat of a negative connotation. Hence why "college" has actually become an AGE)
ANYWAY
I was wrong. Today has been so special and great that it's almost seems unfair. So many well-wishes (seriously they're on facebook which reminds them it's my birthday but it's still nice to know that they see and care enough to extend a small "happy birthday" to my wall, I guess I'm just a sucker for small gestures) and unexpected kindness. My roommate made me a chocolate cake from scratch last night and counted down until midnight with me and a relatively new friend drew me an awesome portrait. Special cards from loved ones as well as friendly phone calls have been so appreciated that I can't even pretend to be upset about getting older. Even the weather, which has been raining for the past few days, decided to clear up and given me the most perfect spring/summer day.
So all in all, I guess I've learned that I won't ever be too old to succumb to natural irony. I want to share my birthday blessings to everyone and hope you all have just as good a day. :)