How long is this break?
After a tornado of school work, spring break came. It's not the relaxing Florida vacation I wanted it to be but I was excited to get stuff done. Mostly finish my Scotland application, rewrite my Brit lit paper and write some personal stuff for once. But of course that plan went "see ya sucker" in the middle of my week-long freak-out (I literally went insane for three days. Was fun but not something I want to do very often) when my computer decided to be infected by a deadly computer virus from the randomness of the internet. Seriously, I am so careful with my ninja computer bc I love it so much and DON'T want it to catch something but what does it do? Catches a cold anyway.
Short version is now I can't access any of my stuff because my programs are all kinds a f-ed up. It's not a little cold, it's like it's got pneumonia.
So I have been doing little with my break and I now realize it's almost over. Unfortunately this seems to happen to me a lot. Just when I decide to get my act together, something comes up and punches me. I was just about to update and organize my website FINALLY after owning the domain for two years when I get a notice in the mail saying I need to send them more money to keep it up. Just my luck.
But really, I've been thinking about how utterly useless I've been lately. Not just "lately" but in the past year in general. I have been a lazy lazy ass. I haven't been reading. Or writing. Or anything close to work for school (beside the monthly all night sprint to get everything done before deadline). I just lost my motivation and passion in life. And I realized why (woo-hoo!)
I've been on a break. For a long, long time. Every since my bad year I've wanted nothing more than to sit back and figure out my life and my self. Well, I didn't realize that that's actually what I've been doing. I haven't been trying at anything. I've been drifting through school and my free time without actually wanting to do any work. Like when you're on vacation too long at a relaxing place. You can only relax for so long before getting bored. I think I've been bored for a while.
But like all things in my life, after a little introspection, I'm reading to get back to living how I used to. I'm ready for passion to return and for me to follow my dream without worrying about all the other times I "failed".
Okay, that's my little post at 1 am on the last couple days of my break. As always, I need more time I feel like but don't have it.
Hope everyone's doing well in life.
Short version is now I can't access any of my stuff because my programs are all kinds a f-ed up. It's not a little cold, it's like it's got pneumonia.
So I have been doing little with my break and I now realize it's almost over. Unfortunately this seems to happen to me a lot. Just when I decide to get my act together, something comes up and punches me. I was just about to update and organize my website FINALLY after owning the domain for two years when I get a notice in the mail saying I need to send them more money to keep it up. Just my luck.
But really, I've been thinking about how utterly useless I've been lately. Not just "lately" but in the past year in general. I have been a lazy lazy ass. I haven't been reading. Or writing. Or anything close to work for school (beside the monthly all night sprint to get everything done before deadline). I just lost my motivation and passion in life. And I realized why (woo-hoo!)
I've been on a break. For a long, long time. Every since my bad year I've wanted nothing more than to sit back and figure out my life and my self. Well, I didn't realize that that's actually what I've been doing. I haven't been trying at anything. I've been drifting through school and my free time without actually wanting to do any work. Like when you're on vacation too long at a relaxing place. You can only relax for so long before getting bored. I think I've been bored for a while.
But like all things in my life, after a little introspection, I'm reading to get back to living how I used to. I'm ready for passion to return and for me to follow my dream without worrying about all the other times I "failed".
Okay, that's my little post at 1 am on the last couple days of my break. As always, I need more time I feel like but don't have it.
Hope everyone's doing well in life.