(no subject)
This is like a curse. So I'm writing about it.
Never mind that I have ChemEngr and Japanese final tomorrow back-to-back. I've already wasted an hour and a half, might as well just fail the semester right? RIGHT?!
And of course this is based on real-life experience. I don't have much to draw inspiration from nowadays, so it has to be from my own love life (or lack thereof... meh!).
Title: Final frustrations
Rating: Serious K (Serious as in cotton-candy fluff that can make you sick. Maybe. I don't know what fluff is anymore, really.)
Pairing: KxK, AU
Summary: What Kaoru doesn't pick up on will just have to remain unsaid until after final exams.
Author's note: This is a small twist on what I would like the male in this situation to think. As for the real-life version of this story, it's almost pathetic, but I'll leave that to another vent later. You'll get the idea.
Kenshin pinched the ridge of his nose as he nervously tapped his pencil on the edge of his desk. Being stuck in his dorm all day, studying for electromagnetics, made him restless and slightly lightheaded. Briefly, he wondered if trekking all the way to the engineering buidling just so he can study in the lounge was worth it.
He figured he might as well try. The walk could probably shake him out of the rut he'd somehow mentally fallen into. As he struggled to wake up his legs and put on a coat, he calculated the amount of time it would take to walk to the lounge, the time it will take to finish the current section he was in, and possible break time that he could somehow squeeze in for sanity's sake. As he grabbed his MP3, he drew his lips in a tight line, realizing that he really didn't have much of a break time since the walk alone was going to take 15 minutes.
Setting his MP3 on shuffle, he headed out, pausing only to say goodbye to the resident assistant. Drowning himself in thoughts of how he was going to attack a serious problem, a funny song started to filter in his head midway through a cross-walk. In utter shock of the song, he stopped abruptly (mid-way through the cross-walk) and stared at his MP3 screen in horrified amusement.
"Hakuna matata... what a wonderful phrase.
Hakuna matata... ain't no passing phraaaaase!"
Almost a month had passed since that trip to the research convention with his research group. But before he could fully launch himself into reminiscence, an impatient driver had to honk him off the streets. Blushing furiously, he ran to the other side and looked blankly ahead of him as he allowed his legs to go on autopilot, letting his mind wander to the month before.
"Kaoru Kamiya, you would have Disney!" Their thermo professor spoke so animatedly that the car swiveled slightly. Kaoru was at a loss, between embarassment and innocent confusion. "Happy music for happy people, hahaha."
"I don't get it, I thought you would like Disney. We've gone through punk rock, R&B, classical-"
"Hey Kenshin, don't you have some rock?"
"Yeah but my player isn't compatible with the car's system..."
"Shame." The professor let the song end before giving the player to Kaoru, all the while praising the awesomeness of classic rock. Kenshin remained amusedly silent. He didn't talk much and he was too involved in typing up his lab report at the back of the van to comment on the ongoing conversation on music. The others, though were not haters of the Lion King, were more in agreement with the fact that everything came second to Aerosmith.
Kaoru shot a small look of jealousy at Kenshin as she took her player back. Kenshin's fingered paused momentarily to watch her sportingly put back the player in her purse and listen quietly to the conversation. He knew how it was. To be competitive about all things. He knew that this group was perhaps the most competitive group of students in the major.
Later that night, as they practiced their presentations he couldn't help but wish that she would inch closer to him on the bed. They were in the boys' room, with a laptop set up on top of the TV, taking turns in practicing. She had earlier borrowed his laptop to check her email and was now practicing silently to herself on his bed. She was wonderfully spread out over his pillows, but he could tell she tried to keep space between him and her, as she did come from and old-fashioned background.
"Kenshin."
She had paused her quiet practicing to herself as she stared seriously at something on the bed.
"You have really hairy legs."
The rest of the group laughed, for she said it in the middle of someone's presentation. Kaoru looked up and saw that she had unknowingly interrupted someone. She embarrasingly said her apologies when she realized her mistimed pronouncement.
"Way to make Kenshin feel self-conscious about himself!" Joked one of their friends. Kaoru sported a face of soft horror as she looked apologizingly towards Kenshin, but he waved a hand in dismissal.
"It's okay. I know I have hairy legs..."
"Yeah, since Kaoru commented on it, it must be really obvious." Kenshin just smiled and ignored them while Kaoru very loudly threatened the offender, failing epically when he managed to make her laugh out loud at herself anyway. She settled back down, a little less tense, and alot closer to him on his bed.
Kenshin sat down on one of the lounge chairs and stared at the blackboard. He had disney downloaded just because she mentioned something after they got back from the convention.
Kenshin looked up to hear jolly whistling in the lounge. She had a green dress on today, and her slightly tanned skin looked beautifully radiant when accented by the gold butterfly earrings she sported. This was alot different from what he was used to, her usual garb consisted of just pants and a worn t-shirt. But he supposed this was her way of making sure everyone remember's she was female. The engineering college was tough, but she was probably up for it.
'
She whistled the last note of "hakuna matata" as she finished checking her e-mail. Watching her from the corner of his eye, he looked up when she settled to the table beside him. She began to study, but after a while, she took off her ear phones and looked up from her book. He had been looking at her just scant seconds before she caught his gaze, but instead of blushing furiously, he managed some small talk to come out of his unpracticed form.
"Listening to Disney?"
Kaoru's eyes widened, and she mockingly pouted at him. "No, I'm listening to the Final Fantasy soundtrack" she smiled. Not able to give her a decent response, he just smiled back and tapped his pencil on the table. Before he could say anything else, she went back to her book with that small smile.
She was pretty no doubt. But he really wasn't interested. She was a little too... excitable. Unpredictable. And really just... intense.
She always talked at that volume, he thought to himself. He thought to himself that she was very talkative and overly dramatic about alot of things. He almost laughed out loud with her when he heard her laugh inside the other room. What were they talking about? Beards? Kenshin listened closer.
"I don't know I just like clean-shaven men."
"You've got to be one of those girls who also like men shaving their chests."
"OH NOOOO!" Kenshin could hear the distress in her voice after such an accusation. "No way. I don't like anything that fake. I just like clean."
"Right."
"Well you know, I think probably gets in the way... between couples..." She caught herself in her train of thought and hurriedly added "Not that I would know! I just... you know... guess."
"Not at all." Grinned the other boy, who had all day, been hitting on Kaoru, unbeknownst to her. Kenshin grimaced at the thought. Kaoru was too good for this guy, for sure. She should go find someone else to talk to.
The subject of his thoughts marched joyfully out of the computer room after saying goodbye to her friends. She paused for a second at the door when she caught sight of Kenshin.
"Hey, goldenboy, watcha doing?"
Kenshin couldn't help but smile at the sound of his nickname on her lips. Having won several awards for his academics plus the research convention, he definitely added being called that by Kaoru as a perk.
"Studying EM." He looked up at her. She had her hair in pretty braded pig-tails.
"Eww. How can you stand all that physics? I thought ChemEs liked chemistry."
"I'm a double major in it..."
"Oh. Wow. That's you and probably half your class." Kaoru looked almost ridiculous with her face in surprise and her arm holding the door halfway open. Kenshin smiled at her. "You're class is pretty amazing. Much better than my batch. We're just infamous for dropping the major.... Not that I'm bitter or anything." But she truly was, she didn't know she wore her heart on her sleeve. Kenshin frowned.
"Are you staying?"
At his small question, Kaoru smiled brilliantly at him and finally let go of the door. Her voice a little high and breathy, she very quickly retorted "Why, would you like me to?" Then as if catching herself in mid-thought she abruptly laughed nervously, waving her hand to mean it was just a joke.
"Yes."
Kenshin answered, almost unthinkingly.
She quit laughing, astounded at his brevity and continued to talk animatedly with him. In the back of his mind, Kenshin registered that Kaoru was fliriting with him, as she finally settled down on the seat across him, despite the fact that she was about to leave just 3 minutes ago. She continued to ask him about his plans for grad school, all the while smiling in approval at everything he said.
"Yeah I agree. Almost everyday, I wake up wishing I were a grad- student." She dramatically said. He chuckled at her.
"Well, I kind of have to study---" Kenshin started when they both fell silent, but Kaoru hurriedly stood up.
"Yes of course. So sorry I bothered you!" Like a frightened rabbit, no doubt embarassed, again, at how she had caused him to waste time, she bolted out of the door. Kenshin just shook his head and proceeded to do his work. Just five minutes ago they were sharing grad school choices, now she's probably so anxious about how she made him quit studying for a total of... oh jeez, they've been talking for half an hour.
Kenshin never talks. He just studies. Sometimes he talks, when he doesn't have things to study. He walked around the cafeteria, having given up at studying completely until he had eatened.
And there she was again.
Somehow, the amount of times he saw her in a day has been increasing steadily... And he had caught her looking at him from afar several times now. Which was odd, since for a whole semester, she never even said hi to him. They had lab meetings together every friday, and for the first few months of their knowing each other, she barely even mentioned his name.
It was probably that trip to the research convention.
He's been seeing her in his cafeteria almost everyday now. When she started to turn her head, he instinctively turned the other way, but not without mentally berating himself how he ignored her on instinct. He could see that she had tried and hesitated twice to say hi to him, but he was too shaken to respond unless he was... sure? That can't be right. She was trying to say hi...maybe, he thought. He went to his usual table and did a double take at how the table near it sported a big yellow coat... undoubtedly Kaoru's. How many times had he seen her in that coat was amusing, she looked like a walking yield sign. He sat down, his back to where she would sit. It would be awkward if she were to eat in front of him...
Awkward for her or for me?
He heard her put her plate down behind him... gathering up his courage he looked behind only to see her walking towards the water dispenser.
What am I trying to do?
He thought furiously for several minutes. He wasn't sure where this desire to acknowledge her, even eat with her, was coming from. He usually ate alone at dinner, and almost never had anyone to talk to while he ate. He just liked quiet.
Finally he heard her come back. Determined he picked up his plate and turned around, catching her attention full on as she pulled her chair back.
"Hey" She said first.
"How are you?" He said
"Alright." She said shortly. She flitted her eyes to her food and sat down.
Disheartened by the lack of her usually encouraging smile, he continued to walk past her, leaving the cafeteria. Carefully focusing his attention on the street, he avoided looking at her direction as he walked near the cafeteria window. In the corner of his eye, he saw her holding a book open with one hand and a fork on the other.
And finally it clicked.
Finals. She's been studying, and is in the middle of some sort of rut, like he was. She's probably been at the library all week, which would explain why she's been eating at his dorm cafeteria.
That made more sense... he thought soberly to himself. The logic of it all was founded on good intuition, but somehow left him unsatisfied. Trekking through the groggy weather, he eagerly looked forward to the summer.
Maybe, while she's taking summer classes, she'll be less stressed, he thought calmly to himself. He'll have to make sure he visited the campus more often than he had originally planned.
Confused at this train of thought, at how it seemed alien and comfortable at the same time, he shook his head free of all burden and started to whistle Hakuna Matata.
---End---.
Ergh. That sort of sucked. But whatever. Now I can panic-study, since I just used up a whole hour expressing that in words.
Never mind that I have ChemEngr and Japanese final tomorrow back-to-back. I've already wasted an hour and a half, might as well just fail the semester right? RIGHT?!
And of course this is based on real-life experience. I don't have much to draw inspiration from nowadays, so it has to be from my own love life (or lack thereof... meh!).
Title: Final frustrations
Rating: Serious K (Serious as in cotton-candy fluff that can make you sick. Maybe. I don't know what fluff is anymore, really.)
Pairing: KxK, AU
Summary: What Kaoru doesn't pick up on will just have to remain unsaid until after final exams.
Author's note: This is a small twist on what I would like the male in this situation to think. As for the real-life version of this story, it's almost pathetic, but I'll leave that to another vent later. You'll get the idea.
Kenshin pinched the ridge of his nose as he nervously tapped his pencil on the edge of his desk. Being stuck in his dorm all day, studying for electromagnetics, made him restless and slightly lightheaded. Briefly, he wondered if trekking all the way to the engineering buidling just so he can study in the lounge was worth it.
He figured he might as well try. The walk could probably shake him out of the rut he'd somehow mentally fallen into. As he struggled to wake up his legs and put on a coat, he calculated the amount of time it would take to walk to the lounge, the time it will take to finish the current section he was in, and possible break time that he could somehow squeeze in for sanity's sake. As he grabbed his MP3, he drew his lips in a tight line, realizing that he really didn't have much of a break time since the walk alone was going to take 15 minutes.
Setting his MP3 on shuffle, he headed out, pausing only to say goodbye to the resident assistant. Drowning himself in thoughts of how he was going to attack a serious problem, a funny song started to filter in his head midway through a cross-walk. In utter shock of the song, he stopped abruptly (mid-way through the cross-walk) and stared at his MP3 screen in horrified amusement.
"Hakuna matata... what a wonderful phrase.
Hakuna matata... ain't no passing phraaaaase!"
Almost a month had passed since that trip to the research convention with his research group. But before he could fully launch himself into reminiscence, an impatient driver had to honk him off the streets. Blushing furiously, he ran to the other side and looked blankly ahead of him as he allowed his legs to go on autopilot, letting his mind wander to the month before.
"Kaoru Kamiya, you would have Disney!" Their thermo professor spoke so animatedly that the car swiveled slightly. Kaoru was at a loss, between embarassment and innocent confusion. "Happy music for happy people, hahaha."
"I don't get it, I thought you would like Disney. We've gone through punk rock, R&B, classical-"
"Hey Kenshin, don't you have some rock?"
"Yeah but my player isn't compatible with the car's system..."
"Shame." The professor let the song end before giving the player to Kaoru, all the while praising the awesomeness of classic rock. Kenshin remained amusedly silent. He didn't talk much and he was too involved in typing up his lab report at the back of the van to comment on the ongoing conversation on music. The others, though were not haters of the Lion King, were more in agreement with the fact that everything came second to Aerosmith.
Kaoru shot a small look of jealousy at Kenshin as she took her player back. Kenshin's fingered paused momentarily to watch her sportingly put back the player in her purse and listen quietly to the conversation. He knew how it was. To be competitive about all things. He knew that this group was perhaps the most competitive group of students in the major.
Later that night, as they practiced their presentations he couldn't help but wish that she would inch closer to him on the bed. They were in the boys' room, with a laptop set up on top of the TV, taking turns in practicing. She had earlier borrowed his laptop to check her email and was now practicing silently to herself on his bed. She was wonderfully spread out over his pillows, but he could tell she tried to keep space between him and her, as she did come from and old-fashioned background.
"Kenshin."
She had paused her quiet practicing to herself as she stared seriously at something on the bed.
"You have really hairy legs."
The rest of the group laughed, for she said it in the middle of someone's presentation. Kaoru looked up and saw that she had unknowingly interrupted someone. She embarrasingly said her apologies when she realized her mistimed pronouncement.
"Way to make Kenshin feel self-conscious about himself!" Joked one of their friends. Kaoru sported a face of soft horror as she looked apologizingly towards Kenshin, but he waved a hand in dismissal.
"It's okay. I know I have hairy legs..."
"Yeah, since Kaoru commented on it, it must be really obvious." Kenshin just smiled and ignored them while Kaoru very loudly threatened the offender, failing epically when he managed to make her laugh out loud at herself anyway. She settled back down, a little less tense, and alot closer to him on his bed.
Kenshin sat down on one of the lounge chairs and stared at the blackboard. He had disney downloaded just because she mentioned something after they got back from the convention.
Kenshin looked up to hear jolly whistling in the lounge. She had a green dress on today, and her slightly tanned skin looked beautifully radiant when accented by the gold butterfly earrings she sported. This was alot different from what he was used to, her usual garb consisted of just pants and a worn t-shirt. But he supposed this was her way of making sure everyone remember's she was female. The engineering college was tough, but she was probably up for it.
'
She whistled the last note of "hakuna matata" as she finished checking her e-mail. Watching her from the corner of his eye, he looked up when she settled to the table beside him. She began to study, but after a while, she took off her ear phones and looked up from her book. He had been looking at her just scant seconds before she caught his gaze, but instead of blushing furiously, he managed some small talk to come out of his unpracticed form.
"Listening to Disney?"
Kaoru's eyes widened, and she mockingly pouted at him. "No, I'm listening to the Final Fantasy soundtrack" she smiled. Not able to give her a decent response, he just smiled back and tapped his pencil on the table. Before he could say anything else, she went back to her book with that small smile.
She was pretty no doubt. But he really wasn't interested. She was a little too... excitable. Unpredictable. And really just... intense.
She always talked at that volume, he thought to himself. He thought to himself that she was very talkative and overly dramatic about alot of things. He almost laughed out loud with her when he heard her laugh inside the other room. What were they talking about? Beards? Kenshin listened closer.
"I don't know I just like clean-shaven men."
"You've got to be one of those girls who also like men shaving their chests."
"OH NOOOO!" Kenshin could hear the distress in her voice after such an accusation. "No way. I don't like anything that fake. I just like clean."
"Right."
"Well you know, I think probably gets in the way... between couples..." She caught herself in her train of thought and hurriedly added "Not that I would know! I just... you know... guess."
"Not at all." Grinned the other boy, who had all day, been hitting on Kaoru, unbeknownst to her. Kenshin grimaced at the thought. Kaoru was too good for this guy, for sure. She should go find someone else to talk to.
The subject of his thoughts marched joyfully out of the computer room after saying goodbye to her friends. She paused for a second at the door when she caught sight of Kenshin.
"Hey, goldenboy, watcha doing?"
Kenshin couldn't help but smile at the sound of his nickname on her lips. Having won several awards for his academics plus the research convention, he definitely added being called that by Kaoru as a perk.
"Studying EM." He looked up at her. She had her hair in pretty braded pig-tails.
"Eww. How can you stand all that physics? I thought ChemEs liked chemistry."
"I'm a double major in it..."
"Oh. Wow. That's you and probably half your class." Kaoru looked almost ridiculous with her face in surprise and her arm holding the door halfway open. Kenshin smiled at her. "You're class is pretty amazing. Much better than my batch. We're just infamous for dropping the major.... Not that I'm bitter or anything." But she truly was, she didn't know she wore her heart on her sleeve. Kenshin frowned.
"Are you staying?"
At his small question, Kaoru smiled brilliantly at him and finally let go of the door. Her voice a little high and breathy, she very quickly retorted "Why, would you like me to?" Then as if catching herself in mid-thought she abruptly laughed nervously, waving her hand to mean it was just a joke.
"Yes."
Kenshin answered, almost unthinkingly.
She quit laughing, astounded at his brevity and continued to talk animatedly with him. In the back of his mind, Kenshin registered that Kaoru was fliriting with him, as she finally settled down on the seat across him, despite the fact that she was about to leave just 3 minutes ago. She continued to ask him about his plans for grad school, all the while smiling in approval at everything he said.
"Yeah I agree. Almost everyday, I wake up wishing I were a grad- student." She dramatically said. He chuckled at her.
"Well, I kind of have to study---" Kenshin started when they both fell silent, but Kaoru hurriedly stood up.
"Yes of course. So sorry I bothered you!" Like a frightened rabbit, no doubt embarassed, again, at how she had caused him to waste time, she bolted out of the door. Kenshin just shook his head and proceeded to do his work. Just five minutes ago they were sharing grad school choices, now she's probably so anxious about how she made him quit studying for a total of... oh jeez, they've been talking for half an hour.
Kenshin never talks. He just studies. Sometimes he talks, when he doesn't have things to study. He walked around the cafeteria, having given up at studying completely until he had eatened.
And there she was again.
Somehow, the amount of times he saw her in a day has been increasing steadily... And he had caught her looking at him from afar several times now. Which was odd, since for a whole semester, she never even said hi to him. They had lab meetings together every friday, and for the first few months of their knowing each other, she barely even mentioned his name.
It was probably that trip to the research convention.
He's been seeing her in his cafeteria almost everyday now. When she started to turn her head, he instinctively turned the other way, but not without mentally berating himself how he ignored her on instinct. He could see that she had tried and hesitated twice to say hi to him, but he was too shaken to respond unless he was... sure? That can't be right. She was trying to say hi...maybe, he thought. He went to his usual table and did a double take at how the table near it sported a big yellow coat... undoubtedly Kaoru's. How many times had he seen her in that coat was amusing, she looked like a walking yield sign. He sat down, his back to where she would sit. It would be awkward if she were to eat in front of him...
Awkward for her or for me?
He heard her put her plate down behind him... gathering up his courage he looked behind only to see her walking towards the water dispenser.
What am I trying to do?
He thought furiously for several minutes. He wasn't sure where this desire to acknowledge her, even eat with her, was coming from. He usually ate alone at dinner, and almost never had anyone to talk to while he ate. He just liked quiet.
Finally he heard her come back. Determined he picked up his plate and turned around, catching her attention full on as she pulled her chair back.
"Hey" She said first.
"How are you?" He said
"Alright." She said shortly. She flitted her eyes to her food and sat down.
Disheartened by the lack of her usually encouraging smile, he continued to walk past her, leaving the cafeteria. Carefully focusing his attention on the street, he avoided looking at her direction as he walked near the cafeteria window. In the corner of his eye, he saw her holding a book open with one hand and a fork on the other.
And finally it clicked.
Finals. She's been studying, and is in the middle of some sort of rut, like he was. She's probably been at the library all week, which would explain why she's been eating at his dorm cafeteria.
That made more sense... he thought soberly to himself. The logic of it all was founded on good intuition, but somehow left him unsatisfied. Trekking through the groggy weather, he eagerly looked forward to the summer.
Maybe, while she's taking summer classes, she'll be less stressed, he thought calmly to himself. He'll have to make sure he visited the campus more often than he had originally planned.
Confused at this train of thought, at how it seemed alien and comfortable at the same time, he shook his head free of all burden and started to whistle Hakuna Matata.
---End---.
Ergh. That sort of sucked. But whatever. Now I can panic-study, since I just used up a whole hour expressing that in words.