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Log in...log out. I have no idea why I wrote that...it seemed to be the perfect thing to start this post off...
...I still don't really know why though...
Anyways, I'm not really super nervous Daniel alately, its more like I'm super...studious Daniel. I'm just getting to the state that when I want to go to sleep, I want to study. Crazy. I really want sleep once I'm finished.
Ok, well maybe I'm a bit nervous, the two methods exams are approaching. One on friday, one on monday. Somewhere in between there, I turn 18. Its kinda sad that I don't even give a shit about my 18th birthday. I'm more worried about the 4 days between Methods and History. Oh yeah, how could I forget, on the history exam day, I ALSO HAVE CHEMISTRY!!!
*screams angrily*
...but meh...hopefully I can pull myself through this fairly alright. I mean, I haven't done too badly all year, and I only need a 90, right...its not THAT hard...is it...>___>'
Anyways, further onto life shit.
Wow...I'm not the problems of my family. Should I be happy, or sad. Hmm, I'm actually not really quite sure. My sister is now kinda the source, but its just that my Dad's flaws are flowing out of his quick flight to rage. Man, it feels awesome looking on the other side, cause I'm the one thats doing everything right...ish.
But so yeah, familys not so much of a deal. The main problem is with friends.
Wow...friends...the things I used to treasure, the things I used to enjoy the company of. Well...at the moment, it feels like I don't really have the same friends as I used to. Lets go down a list of my friendship with my different friends, or in some cases what seems to be ex-friends or friends lost.
Ana: Ok, nothings really changed here, except that I simply haven't talked to her in a while due to VCE. Talk to you soon Ana >_<'''
Andrew: (Ooh, am I gonna do this alphabetically?) Hmmm...best mate...if it wasn't for this guy, god I would be feeling so much worse. I mean seriously, although he may get pissed at me every now and then for being a dickhead, Andrews the guy who has stuck through me, when basically everyone else was accepting that I was going to be on the outside. Dude, if you ever read this, you rock.
Ebony: Ok, this has always been freaking confusing. From my perspective, Ebony doesn't seem to bond 'deeply' with anyone except for Kara, however, she always makes me laugh, and is usually pretty awesome. However I'm probably going to lose contact with her, which will suck. But currently 'cest la vi'
Jess: Same as Ana, except talked to her much less, and I'm probably getting slightly segregated from her.
Kara: ...well...hey...I think I've lost this friendship for good. Yeah, even after writing that, I actually paused for about 10 seconds. Hmm...well...she was an awesome friend, and if you completely cut out the period from April (?) --> Now, I probably would have been talking to her already. However, I don't really want to be the first person to talk, as she's ignoring me, and that's really harsh. But yeah, ...yeah. Ex-friend?
Mallory: Hmm...I should write something like refer to above, as basically Mallory is one of Kara's closest friend (well, also used to be one of mine too), however allianced with Kara, Mallory is also being harsh and ignoring me as well. I haven't talked to her after I think the MSN conversation, as same with Kara, I'm not going to apologise and do everything right and talk to them and do this and do freaking that just to save the friendship. Just like Kara, I've been ignored, the reason why we're not friends is not my fault and I'm the one who feels hurt. Just like Kara when we were going out, because Mallory couldn't understand my reasonings, I'm guessing she's just avoiding. Which is harsh, considering Mallory was the best friends I've ever had. Although I remember her saying something like, 'I wouldn't mind to be friends, but I don't want to be doing all the work'...the quote is probably slightly different, however, it does reflect my current mentality, as I really haven't done anything to either Mallory or Kara. They just chose to put me on the outer, and if I was doing anything wrong, they didn't have the guts to say something that may have not given them a 'happy' response. However, even though I'm sounding kinda angry, they probably were my best friends, and I don't hate them. It's just that they piss me off at the moment, they're still absolutely awesome and admirable people. But yeah...I'm sure that was the Mallory part not the Mallory/Kara part.
Nicole: Hmm...interesting. I actually don't understand Nicole. I never really thought I got along with her all too well...however after losing Mall and Kara it seems that I saw that I had heaps of friends that were pretty good. Hmm...Nicole has made me smile, and basically been although not as awesome, the female version of Andrew, however that's mainly because I have seen Nicole alot.
Steph: Hmm, Steph, crazy person. I'll never understand this girl. Though, she seems to be acting fairly normally around me, same old Steph...however maybe more forgiving and much happier. Strange. When did that happen. I may have been dislocated from all my friends for a while.
When they are as a group: Hmmm...yeah this is the main thing that made me feel like crap. The fact that whenever I was feeling depressed, put on some headphones and/or just looked generally, I was basically ignored. Every now and then maybe Andrew would try to talk to me, or Chris Moore would, however, basically when I was the most glum, people thought it would be bad to go talk to me, thus I got put on the outer and felt further depressed. Maybe people don't understand that I'm a very confrontational person, so therefore I'd prefer people to confront me as opposed to having myself confront others all the time. But yeah...who knows...does that mean I have the wrong group of friends...now thats the question that has been depressing me for ages.
Well...thats about it. God that's alot of text, I'm going to go back to methods anyways. Not that really anyone reads this apart from Ana, so...laters An-chan!
...
.......
...I think I wrote too much
...I still don't really know why though...
Anyways, I'm not really super nervous Daniel alately, its more like I'm super...studious Daniel. I'm just getting to the state that when I want to go to sleep, I want to study. Crazy. I really want sleep once I'm finished.
Ok, well maybe I'm a bit nervous, the two methods exams are approaching. One on friday, one on monday. Somewhere in between there, I turn 18. Its kinda sad that I don't even give a shit about my 18th birthday. I'm more worried about the 4 days between Methods and History. Oh yeah, how could I forget, on the history exam day, I ALSO HAVE CHEMISTRY!!!
*screams angrily*
...but meh...hopefully I can pull myself through this fairly alright. I mean, I haven't done too badly all year, and I only need a 90, right...its not THAT hard...is it...>___>'
Anyways, further onto life shit.
Wow...I'm not the problems of my family. Should I be happy, or sad. Hmm, I'm actually not really quite sure. My sister is now kinda the source, but its just that my Dad's flaws are flowing out of his quick flight to rage. Man, it feels awesome looking on the other side, cause I'm the one thats doing everything right...ish.
But so yeah, familys not so much of a deal. The main problem is with friends.
Wow...friends...the things I used to treasure, the things I used to enjoy the company of. Well...at the moment, it feels like I don't really have the same friends as I used to. Lets go down a list of my friendship with my different friends, or in some cases what seems to be ex-friends or friends lost.
Ana: Ok, nothings really changed here, except that I simply haven't talked to her in a while due to VCE. Talk to you soon Ana >_<'''
Andrew: (Ooh, am I gonna do this alphabetically?) Hmmm...best mate...if it wasn't for this guy, god I would be feeling so much worse. I mean seriously, although he may get pissed at me every now and then for being a dickhead, Andrews the guy who has stuck through me, when basically everyone else was accepting that I was going to be on the outside. Dude, if you ever read this, you rock.
Ebony: Ok, this has always been freaking confusing. From my perspective, Ebony doesn't seem to bond 'deeply' with anyone except for Kara, however, she always makes me laugh, and is usually pretty awesome. However I'm probably going to lose contact with her, which will suck. But currently 'cest la vi'
Jess: Same as Ana, except talked to her much less, and I'm probably getting slightly segregated from her.
Kara: ...well...hey...I think I've lost this friendship for good. Yeah, even after writing that, I actually paused for about 10 seconds. Hmm...well...she was an awesome friend, and if you completely cut out the period from April (?) --> Now, I probably would have been talking to her already. However, I don't really want to be the first person to talk, as she's ignoring me, and that's really harsh. But yeah, ...yeah. Ex-friend?
Mallory: Hmm...I should write something like refer to above, as basically Mallory is one of Kara's closest friend (well, also used to be one of mine too), however allianced with Kara, Mallory is also being harsh and ignoring me as well. I haven't talked to her after I think the MSN conversation, as same with Kara, I'm not going to apologise and do everything right and talk to them and do this and do freaking that just to save the friendship. Just like Kara, I've been ignored, the reason why we're not friends is not my fault and I'm the one who feels hurt. Just like Kara when we were going out, because Mallory couldn't understand my reasonings, I'm guessing she's just avoiding. Which is harsh, considering Mallory was the best friends I've ever had. Although I remember her saying something like, 'I wouldn't mind to be friends, but I don't want to be doing all the work'...the quote is probably slightly different, however, it does reflect my current mentality, as I really haven't done anything to either Mallory or Kara. They just chose to put me on the outer, and if I was doing anything wrong, they didn't have the guts to say something that may have not given them a 'happy' response. However, even though I'm sounding kinda angry, they probably were my best friends, and I don't hate them. It's just that they piss me off at the moment, they're still absolutely awesome and admirable people. But yeah...I'm sure that was the Mallory part not the Mallory/Kara part.
Nicole: Hmm...interesting. I actually don't understand Nicole. I never really thought I got along with her all too well...however after losing Mall and Kara it seems that I saw that I had heaps of friends that were pretty good. Hmm...Nicole has made me smile, and basically been although not as awesome, the female version of Andrew, however that's mainly because I have seen Nicole alot.
Steph: Hmm, Steph, crazy person. I'll never understand this girl. Though, she seems to be acting fairly normally around me, same old Steph...however maybe more forgiving and much happier. Strange. When did that happen. I may have been dislocated from all my friends for a while.
When they are as a group: Hmmm...yeah this is the main thing that made me feel like crap. The fact that whenever I was feeling depressed, put on some headphones and/or just looked generally, I was basically ignored. Every now and then maybe Andrew would try to talk to me, or Chris Moore would, however, basically when I was the most glum, people thought it would be bad to go talk to me, thus I got put on the outer and felt further depressed. Maybe people don't understand that I'm a very confrontational person, so therefore I'd prefer people to confront me as opposed to having myself confront others all the time. But yeah...who knows...does that mean I have the wrong group of friends...now thats the question that has been depressing me for ages.
Well...thats about it. God that's alot of text, I'm going to go back to methods anyways. Not that really anyone reads this apart from Ana, so...laters An-chan!
...
.......
...I think I wrote too much