Everyday I'll live through this alone...I don't wanna be alone
*~*you deserve much better than me*~*
I'm a bit of a freak really, and I don't know how to explain some things...You can have so much power and control over people...When you get sad and self harm is that weak? what is normal anyway? the word normal was made up by some person, were they considered normal, do they have the right to determine who is normal and who isn't? when someone screws up and then works on getting better and moving on, why do people bring up the past, or dwell on it? emotional scars never fade, fear holds you back and physical scars either make you stronger or weaker, the mind is a giant fuck up and most of the time emotions will cause you to wanna rip your heart out and throw it at someones face...If you lie to spare someones feelings, is that wrong? or if you tell them, or write about it, does that make you an attention seeker? why do people always pick out the worst in people? why do we only remember the worst in ourselves? we never think of the good, we can sometimes think we have nothing good about ourselves, yet someone can tell you that you are amazing and all you'll do is put yourself down, in moments of weakness you can make yourself the version of ugly you think you are, only to wake up the next day and regret everything, then you'll fuck yourself up some more until you are full of scars, have no self confidence and would rather hang yourself or shoot yourself than face another day of nothingness...When you are with the ones you love, nothing matters and you can feel the happiest in the world, but when they leave or are taken away, you are left with the worst person possible, yourself....No matter how many pills you take, cuts you make, the only thing that changes is the level of hate...No one can help you, because they don't know what to do and it's not their job to look after you is it, it's not fair...People that say suicide is a cowards way out probably have no knowledge how shit a person can feel, how desperate you get for an escape, I don't think you have a right to judge others by your standards, not till you walk in their shoes...
I hate telling people how I feel, I lie to people about my feelings, sometimes because if they knew how I was really feeling all the time, they would think me to be a freak of nature or something, most people are scared of what people think, I'm scared because it just means I lose people, I just felt like writing all this, it was all just in my head and I needed to write it down, if you've actually read it all then I am amazed, you either really care or you were very bored and just wanted a laugh heh, whichever it was I'm sorry if it wasted your time, I think some of the questions most people ask themselves them everyday.....I miss my people -_- you're not coming back
I'm a bit of a freak really, and I don't know how to explain some things...You can have so much power and control over people...When you get sad and self harm is that weak? what is normal anyway? the word normal was made up by some person, were they considered normal, do they have the right to determine who is normal and who isn't? when someone screws up and then works on getting better and moving on, why do people bring up the past, or dwell on it? emotional scars never fade, fear holds you back and physical scars either make you stronger or weaker, the mind is a giant fuck up and most of the time emotions will cause you to wanna rip your heart out and throw it at someones face...If you lie to spare someones feelings, is that wrong? or if you tell them, or write about it, does that make you an attention seeker? why do people always pick out the worst in people? why do we only remember the worst in ourselves? we never think of the good, we can sometimes think we have nothing good about ourselves, yet someone can tell you that you are amazing and all you'll do is put yourself down, in moments of weakness you can make yourself the version of ugly you think you are, only to wake up the next day and regret everything, then you'll fuck yourself up some more until you are full of scars, have no self confidence and would rather hang yourself or shoot yourself than face another day of nothingness...When you are with the ones you love, nothing matters and you can feel the happiest in the world, but when they leave or are taken away, you are left with the worst person possible, yourself....No matter how many pills you take, cuts you make, the only thing that changes is the level of hate...No one can help you, because they don't know what to do and it's not their job to look after you is it, it's not fair...People that say suicide is a cowards way out probably have no knowledge how shit a person can feel, how desperate you get for an escape, I don't think you have a right to judge others by your standards, not till you walk in their shoes...
I hate telling people how I feel, I lie to people about my feelings, sometimes because if they knew how I was really feeling all the time, they would think me to be a freak of nature or something, most people are scared of what people think, I'm scared because it just means I lose people, I just felt like writing all this, it was all just in my head and I needed to write it down, if you've actually read it all then I am amazed, you either really care or you were very bored and just wanted a laugh heh, whichever it was I'm sorry if it wasted your time, I think some of the questions most people ask themselves them everyday.....I miss my people -_- you're not coming back