True Romance... on the side - chapter 5
PREVIOUS
MASTER POST
NEXT
April
"Hi."
"Geez, Jared. Why do you answer the phone like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like you know it’s me.”
“But it is you.”
"Whatever, Nostra-doofus. You asleep?"
"Nah. I just put some avocado on my face.”
“Please tell me that’s not gay lingo for something dirty.”
“It’s a facial mask, num-nuts. I wanna be prettier.”
“You and I and 25 million people all around the world know that’s not possible, Jare.”
“Well Mr. Ackles, I do declare… are you trying to seduce me?”
“I don’t know. Are you seducible?”
“Who, little old me?”
“Shove it, Jared. You’re hot and you know it.”
“…fine. If you say so.”
“So, what are you doing, beside having delusions of grandeur?”
“Watchin’ “True Romance”."
"Channel, please."
"12."
"Thank you."
"… So do you still maintain that you'd rather be with some boring, I dunno, office clerk, than with a guy like Clarence? Assuming you were gay, of course."
"When did I say that?"
"On our trip to Vancouver."
"I never said that, Jare. I would've never said that."
"Alright, fine. Lets say I believe you."
"... have you been sleeping?"
"Why?"
"Cause I haven't been sleeping well lately. I miss her. And I'm worried about this new job offer I might get. Seriously, man. I think I might be sick - last night I watched reruns of "That 70’s Show" till four in the morning. In Spanish. Ashton Kutcher saying “Ay, papi” on national television is something that should be illegal in all 50 states. I mean it, dude... I'm not well."
"You’re fine. You’re just stressed. I on the other hand went to sleep at 7 pm. last night. I haven't done that since I was 10 years old."
"That's the only good thing that comes out of depression: getting your rest."
"I am not depressed!"
"Okay. Fine. Listen... random question: do you still sleep on the same side of the bed?"
"I did for a while, but now I can honestly say I own my entire bed again."
"God, that must feel so good. I still feel weird when even my arm wanders over there. I miss her."
"I don't miss him. I really don't."
"Not even a little?"
"... you know what I miss?"
"Hm?"
"I miss the idea of him."
"Huh. Maybe I only miss the idea of my wife?... Nah. I miss everything about her."
"... Oh, it's the last scene."
"Oooo... Patricia Arquette. She's low maintenance."
"What?"
"Listen and learn, young Padawan. There two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance."
"And Patricia Arquette is low maintenance?"
"In so many words?... Yes."
"So what does that make you?"
"Ha-fucking-ha, Jare. Very funny."
"No, really. What does that make you?"
"Well... if I were a woman, I'd be high maintenance, definitely.”
"I don't see that."
"You don't see that? Really?... ‘Waiter, I'll have the filet mignon and the chef's salad on the side. But I don't want the regular dressing. I want the blue-cheese sauce and vinegar on the side. And I'd like some olive oil to that, but also on the side… ‘On the side’ is really a big issue for me."
"Well, it's good you notice that about yourself."
"The sarcasm is uncalled for, Jare. I just like to eat the way I want to eat."
"I know. You're right. You're definitely high maintenance."
[... but I wouldn't have named our son Elvis...]
"Oh, best last line of a movie. Ever."
"Yeah."
"Y'know what? I think I'm definitely coming down with something. Probably one of those 24-hour bugs. I'll die a horrible New-York-type death and no one will find me until the stench creeps into the hall and my neighbors call the police. They’ll find me lying in front of the TV, half-eaten by Alsatians, like Bridget Jones."
"You're not going to die, Jen!"
"You never know..."
"If you're so worried, go see a doctor."
"Nah. Just tell me it's nothing."
"Will you be able to sleep?"
"I'll manage."
"What will you do?"
"I dunno. Probably stay up and growl at the world. Maybe I should practice now?... Grrr, grrr, grrr, grrr..."
"Goodnight Jen."
"... grrr, grrr, goodnight Jared...”
"I had that dream again," Jensen sighed, as they were walking down the street together. "Y'know, the one where I'm having sex and a group of directors, scriptwriters and casting people are watching? I'd nailed the compulsory part, reading off porn-sound cue cards, so it's time to improvise... Spielberg gives me a perfect 10.0, I get a 9.5 from Michael Crichton, and Jenna Jameson, disguised as you, gives me 4.3.... Must've been the dismount..."
Jared couldn't help but laugh. Having seen all of Jensen’s acting work and knowing him like he did, it was impossible to even think he'd ever give Jensen anything lower than at least a 9.0.
"What about you?" Jensen asked curiously. "What's you're wildest sex dream?"
"Well... it's basically the same dream I’ve been having since I was fifteen: I'm in school and my English teacher, Mrs. Tingle, orders me to stay in for detention..."
"Wow," Jensen muttered sarcastically. "That's original."
"Would you shut the fuck up? I'm trying to tell a story here!"
"Fine," Jensen flung his arms. "Tell me."
"So, as I was saying, before you interrupted me... She orders me to stay for detention. I'm sitting there, staring into a wall… then he comes in. He's a student from my class, but I can't see his face. He walks up to me, forces me to lean over the teacher's desk and..."
"... and what?"
"That's it."
"That's your wildest sex dream you've been having since you were fifteen?" Jensen couldn't believe how much of a prude Jared was. It was the last thing he would expect from his friend. "It's always the same??"
"No. Sometimes I vary it a little..."
"Which part?"
"What I'm wearing..."
Jensen toppled over with laughter, barely missing frontal impact with a lamppost.
"What?!" Jared demanded.
The older man continued to giggle, as he wrapped his arm around Jared's broad back, ruffling his hair. "Nothing, man... It's just... for a gay guy, you're such a goodie-goodie..."
"You wanna go to the movies with me tonight?"
Jared was caught off guard by the question.
“What were you thinking?”
“I dunno,” Jensen shrugged. “Something sad with a gay undercurrent. Just for you,” he smiled and winked.
Jared didn’t know what to think.
Grabbing a beer or watching the game together, or - for God's sake - meeting their friends... that was normal. But going to the cinema together? It... well, if Jared didn't know any better, he would've said Jensen wanted to ask him out on a date. And that he was - could it be? -… flirting with him.
"Well?"
The older man’s voice broke Jared’s string of thought. Aside from focusing on the question at hand, he was also carefully inspecting the details of the painting in front of him.
They were at an art exhibit of Justin(e) - one of Tom's sexual-orientation ambiguous painter friends. Sometimes Jared wondered where Tom met these kinds of people. Not that he had anything against transvestites or transsexuals. He just didn’t understand their taste in art.
Nevertheless, Tom gave him two invitations and since - still being totally straight - Jensen appreciated fine art, Jared decided to take him. Besides, it was very casual. Or so he hoped.
"I'd like to Jen, really I would... but I can't," Jared finally mumbled, looking away from the painting and down at his feet. He wished he could say yes, all repercussions be damned. But he couldn't.
"What? Do you have a hot date?" Jensen laughed.
The younger man bit his lip and glanced at his friend. "Well, actually... I do," he admitted shyly. "I wanted to tell you earlier, but... I dunno. I just felt strange."
"Why?" Jensen's surprise grew, his eyebrows raising as he stared at his friend.
"It's just... “ Jared’s voice trailed off, a blush spreading across his cheeks. “We've been spending so much time together. I didn’t want you to feel abandoned or… something. I don’t really know,” he finished awkwardly.
“What’s going on, Jare?”
Jared took a deep breath. “I don’t know how to talk to you about these things.”
“Why?” Jensen looked confused.
Cause I think I love you, Jared almost blurted out, but he bit his tongue. Instead, he shrugged. “I don’t wanna make you feel uncomfortable. And I know you don’t mind hearing about the gay lifestyle, what with you and Mike having shared a flat and all…”
Jensen cut him off. “Trust me - you could never make me feel more uncomfortable than Mike.”
“But Michael is different. He’s open about these things,” Jared noted.
Jensen laughed. “Too open.”
“Still, it’s different.”
Jensen turned and looked at Jared closely. “Jared… are we friends?”
“Of course!”
“Well, if I’m your friend, you can talk to me about anything. And I mean anything. You know I’d never judge you. I love you like a brother, man,” Jensen patted Jared’s back.
He couldn't help but notice how his friend flinched at the word ‘brother’. “I don’t mind that you date guys,” he reminded him, swallowing an unexpected wave of jealousy. The thought of Jared with another guy… “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy too,” he added.
"I know. But... I just feel weird."
“Why?”
Jared looked at his feet. “I don’t think I’m ready to date again,” he lied.
Jensen patted him on the back with a smile. “You need a rebound person, Jare.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, trust me.”
Jared glanced at Jensen and smirked. “Right. You are…?”
“Divorced.”
“And you have…?”
“No one in my life at the moment.”
“And you haven’t for…?”
“A really long time now.”
Jared laughed. “I rest my case.”
“Very funny,” Jensen poked his friend in the ribs, but smiled nonetheless. “As for you feeling weird… don't." Jensen ordered him, wrapping an arm around Jared's neck and wrestling with him playfully. "I think it's great that you're dating again. Although, I have one question..."
"What?" Jared pushed him away, straightening his shirt.
"What are you going to wear?"
Jared looked down at his clothes - he was wearing jeans and a tight, dark green t-shirt. He shrugged. "The same stuff I'm wearing now... Why?"
Jensen walked up to him with a funny expression on his face. He brushed off an invisible speckle of dust from Jared's shoulder. "It's nothing. I just think you should wear more... I dunno... elegant clothes. You look really good in that blue button-down shirt you got from your sister. You should wear it. It brings out the color of your eyes," Jensen smiled, looking up at his friend. The height difference between them made him grin internally. He still couldn't get over it.
Jared's stomach fluttered suddenly, as Jensen's hand touched his shoulder. He casually stepped back, taking another look at himself, as if pondering the idea. "Maybe you're right. But, y'know, Mr. I-can't-take-my-own-advice... I think you should jump into the saddle too."
"I'm not ready yet, Jared," Jensen's voice faltered a bit. To be honest, the thought of starting dating again terrified him.
"I still think you should try, Jenny," Jared said empathically, moving closer to his friend, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "It's time..."
Jensen couldn't help but think Jared might be right...
"That was the worst date of my life!" Jensen exclaimed, dropping down onto Jared's couch with a long groan.
"The first date 'back' is always the toughest, Jen.”
It was a commonly known fact. True, for someone who was once married, it might've seemed strange, but Jared knew Jensen used to date before that. And he was good at it.
"How could you know, Jared?" Jensen glared at his co-star.
Since Jensen and Jared both got cast in the CW’s newest medical drama “I.C.U.”, they had been spending even more time with each other. They went to bars or clubbing - which, surprisingly, was always Jensen's idea - or just hung out, drinking and talking. This was one of those times. They’d a really tiring day on set today and Jensen had to vent about his date.
"Dating men isn't the same as dating girls. 'Sides, you wouldn’t know the first thing about bad dates."
Jared sat down beside Jensen, handing him a beer. "For your information, I've had my fair share of awful dates. Like two days ago: me and this guy are at a restaurant, we're talking, generally having a good time and suddenly he purposely spills red wine down the front of my pants and gets under the table, on all fours, under the false pretense of wanting to dry them off and then tries sucking my dick in the middle of the restaurant... Now think what you might about gay men, but that's something I don't do on a first date," Jared stated and took a swig of his beer. With time he found that it became easier and easier to talk to Jensen about his sex life. Before, when their friendship was still in its “will they or won’t they” phase, he’d have kept quiet. But now it didn’t matter - he knew Jensen accepted him.
Jared didn't notice Jensen's nervous fidget as he mentioned getting a free blow-job from a complete stranger.
"That's a dream date compared to my horror," Jensen snorted sarcastically, collecting himself quickly. "We went to this Japanese place that she wanted to go to..."
"But you don't like seafood," Jared noticed.
"I know, Jare, I was being polite. Anyway... She asks me why I don't like fish. So I tell her that fish piss in the sea. She says: so do children. Then I say: Don't eat children either."
Jared laughed so hard he almost choked on his beer.
"My point exactly. And I got nothing from the girl. Not even a smile," he complained, smirking at Jared's red face and his attempt to catch his breath.
"So what happened after?" Jared squeaked through tears of both laughter and choking.
"We made small talk. I asked her were she used to go to school, she said New Jersey. And that reminded me of my wife."
"Why? Did she study there too?"
Jensen raised his eyebrow. "No. She studied in California. But they both had similar hair colors."
The younger man shook his head in silent disbelief at the mysterious way in which his friend's brain worked.
"So anyway, I almost started crying on the spot and I had to leave the restaurant..."
"That sucks, man," Jared toasted his co-star with the half empty beer bottle. "But don't worry, Jenny. It might be months before you start enjoying going out with someone new," he consoled him.
Probably never as much as I enjoy nights like this - Jensen thought and smiled to himself. He liked spending time with Jared. It was one of the few times he could be himself, because even outside of the set, where, let's face it, he had to act, he rarely showed his true self.
"And possibly longer before you're actually ready to go to bed with someone," Jared added after a moment.
"Oh, I went to bed with her," Jensen noted.
"You did?"
"Yup."
"Huh. Score."
PREVIOUS
MASTER POST
NEXT