Movie Review: Vampire Assassin
Ok, so I rented two movies on Friday night, The Longest Yard (new version, it was ok, nothing spectacular) and a strange movie called Vampire Assassins. Now, in this world there are two things I really hate, ninja's and vampires. So, I figure that a movie about killing vampires might be kinda good. Well, it's Sunday evening, the movie is due back in a few hours and I figured I'd put it on. My first thought upon watching the opening gambit was, 'Oh dear god, what have I done.' The movie is still on, but I've chosen instead to write this review.
Every single person I've ever met in my life, is a better actor than all the garbage that's flown across the screen that I've seen so far. In fact, I am now turning it off and will refer to it as the worst movie I've ever willfully spent money on. And I've seen the movies Spike of Love, Shaolin v. Ninja, and Smoke. Vampire Assassin however, is like watching a porno without any sex or nudity or even foul language. Now, I recognize that when there's a significantly lower than average budget for a movie, you're not going to get "quality" material. However, when you're the writer, producer, director, and star of the movie, the least you could do is...well, I dunno. But something better than what he did is definitely in order. I didn't see anything I liked in the movie, or I'd post it.
Every single person I've ever met in my life, is a better actor than all the garbage that's flown across the screen that I've seen so far. In fact, I am now turning it off and will refer to it as the worst movie I've ever willfully spent money on. And I've seen the movies Spike of Love, Shaolin v. Ninja, and Smoke. Vampire Assassin however, is like watching a porno without any sex or nudity or even foul language. Now, I recognize that when there's a significantly lower than average budget for a movie, you're not going to get "quality" material. However, when you're the writer, producer, director, and star of the movie, the least you could do is...well, I dunno. But something better than what he did is definitely in order. I didn't see anything I liked in the movie, or I'd post it.