Winter Weekend Discontent
► The weekend may have started well, but it sucks now.
Last night my Aunt Jan called to tell us that my 88 year old grandmother was admitted to the hospital on Thursday with severe pains "below her heart", and may or may not have been coughing up blood. Apparently the pains had started in early February and she had an ultrasound and cat-scan performed but they couldn't find anything unusual. The doctors apparently suspect it's her liver and are going to perform an endoscopy on Monday. My aunt also told me that when signing the consent forms my grandmother requested DNR in the event of a heart attack. As upsetting as that thought is, it's not really much of a surprise to me because she really has been a ghost of herself since my grandfather died 12 years ago, coupled with my mom's death almost 3 years later.
A little while later I decided to give my brother a call. He was surprisingly curt, and seemed almost annoyed that I had called (though I suppose that might just have been him being distracted by the news or busy as I could hear clinking noises). The conversation became further awkward when he said he was going to drive to Kingston today to visit my grandmother, and that I should go too since "it might be your last chance to see her." The problem is that's not possible for me right now. No matter how much I want to go and understand the importance of going, I simply cannot. I think that probably pissed him off, but then he's been less and less understanding about my problems the more distant we've become.
I really wish I could go, especially given how close I was to my grandmother growing up (she's also my godmother), but there's just no way I can manage a 2 hour drive when I can barely manage driving 5 minutes to the store. I really truly hate that and wish I could see Mum. The guilt is going to fester and eat at me, especially if things take a turn for the worst.
At the moment my relationship with my brother, awkward for the past 4 years, now seem more sour.
► In addition to the health crisis with my grandmother, the weekend has also been crappy for other reasons.
Something must obviously be wrong with our hot water tank because we haven't had any hot water since yesterday morning. This would be a pain in the ass at any time, but the weather worsened this week and the water is now ice cold. Given how often I wash my hands it's no surprise they've been freezing all night, and the skin on my knuckles is beginning to split like paper cuts and bleed.
Looks like I'll have to call the landlord again (I haven't heard back from him regarding my rent receipt from the call on Friday). I've prided myself on rarely having to call him, so twice in one weekend is a bit off putting for me. My guess is even if the water heater can be fixed or replaced, we're probably going to be without hot water for several days at least. I dread my next shower.
The other bad turn this weekend is how after eating for the first real time all week (I've subsisted on whole wheat toast with margarine) I ended up with the runs for a couple of hours last night, and still feel sick (thank you very much Chef Boyardee and your mini ravioli). That in itself erases even the slightest chance I might be able to overcome decades of agoraphobia and panic disorder and drive two hours to Kingston today.
So yeah, this weekend sucks and I still have Sunday to look forward to. Eh, I shouldn't complain. It's not like much else can go wro----do I hear an asteroid?
► Just Steampunk Iron Man cosplay:
► 'Community' boss 'confident' about season 4 chances. Plus, more scoop from Paleyfest! - The show better be back!
► 9gag: I Will Destroy You - Sure, it took awhile, but he did keep his word.
► ZenPencils.com: CONFUCIUS: Find a job you love - I'd agree with the sentiments, but sometimes turning a hobby into a job kills your original love and interest in it.
► Bikini clad Princess Leia spied shakin' booty in Star Wars game - Well, that was weird looking.
Garfield Minus Garfield
Quote of the Moment
Colin: I'm not sour!
- The Secret Garden (1993)
Drinking: Canada Dry Ginger Ale
Last Read: (Comic books) Stormwatch #5 & 6 (2011 series); Aquaman #4 & 5 (2011 series); Kirby: Genesis #0 & 1;
Last night my Aunt Jan called to tell us that my 88 year old grandmother was admitted to the hospital on Thursday with severe pains "below her heart", and may or may not have been coughing up blood. Apparently the pains had started in early February and she had an ultrasound and cat-scan performed but they couldn't find anything unusual. The doctors apparently suspect it's her liver and are going to perform an endoscopy on Monday. My aunt also told me that when signing the consent forms my grandmother requested DNR in the event of a heart attack. As upsetting as that thought is, it's not really much of a surprise to me because she really has been a ghost of herself since my grandfather died 12 years ago, coupled with my mom's death almost 3 years later.
A little while later I decided to give my brother a call. He was surprisingly curt, and seemed almost annoyed that I had called (though I suppose that might just have been him being distracted by the news or busy as I could hear clinking noises). The conversation became further awkward when he said he was going to drive to Kingston today to visit my grandmother, and that I should go too since "it might be your last chance to see her." The problem is that's not possible for me right now. No matter how much I want to go and understand the importance of going, I simply cannot. I think that probably pissed him off, but then he's been less and less understanding about my problems the more distant we've become.
I really wish I could go, especially given how close I was to my grandmother growing up (she's also my godmother), but there's just no way I can manage a 2 hour drive when I can barely manage driving 5 minutes to the store. I really truly hate that and wish I could see Mum. The guilt is going to fester and eat at me, especially if things take a turn for the worst.
At the moment my relationship with my brother, awkward for the past 4 years, now seem more sour.
► In addition to the health crisis with my grandmother, the weekend has also been crappy for other reasons.
Something must obviously be wrong with our hot water tank because we haven't had any hot water since yesterday morning. This would be a pain in the ass at any time, but the weather worsened this week and the water is now ice cold. Given how often I wash my hands it's no surprise they've been freezing all night, and the skin on my knuckles is beginning to split like paper cuts and bleed.
Looks like I'll have to call the landlord again (I haven't heard back from him regarding my rent receipt from the call on Friday). I've prided myself on rarely having to call him, so twice in one weekend is a bit off putting for me. My guess is even if the water heater can be fixed or replaced, we're probably going to be without hot water for several days at least. I dread my next shower.
The other bad turn this weekend is how after eating for the first real time all week (I've subsisted on whole wheat toast with margarine) I ended up with the runs for a couple of hours last night, and still feel sick (thank you very much Chef Boyardee and your mini ravioli). That in itself erases even the slightest chance I might be able to overcome decades of agoraphobia and panic disorder and drive two hours to Kingston today.
So yeah, this weekend sucks and I still have Sunday to look forward to. Eh, I shouldn't complain. It's not like much else can go wro----do I hear an asteroid?
► Just Steampunk Iron Man cosplay:
► 'Community' boss 'confident' about season 4 chances. Plus, more scoop from Paleyfest! - The show better be back!
► 9gag: I Will Destroy You - Sure, it took awhile, but he did keep his word.
► ZenPencils.com: CONFUCIUS: Find a job you love - I'd agree with the sentiments, but sometimes turning a hobby into a job kills your original love and interest in it.
► Bikini clad Princess Leia spied shakin' booty in Star Wars game - Well, that was weird looking.
Garfield Minus Garfield
Quote of the Moment
Colin: I'm not sour!
- The Secret Garden (1993)
Drinking: Canada Dry Ginger Ale
Last Read: (Comic books) Stormwatch #5 & 6 (2011 series); Aquaman #4 & 5 (2011 series); Kirby: Genesis #0 & 1;