Completion 10/?
Completion
Chapter 10
Marissa laughed as Jim tossed Abby across the small pool to Chekov, Abby screaming and laughing, but managing to close her mouth before she went under. Once Chekov lifted her up she demanded to, “do it ag’n, Pasha!”
“She really has no fear when it comes to water,” McCoy said as he sat down in a chair beside her.
“I’ve noticed,” Marissa smiled over at him in welcome. She’d only lasted fifteen minutes in the water. It just wasn’t warm enough and she didn’t have the insulation she used to. If she had been swimming laps it wouldn’t have been a problem, but just standing around wasn’t working. Abby had been upset when Jim had suggested that Marissa get out and warm up, but then Chekov had arrived and her good mood had returned. “Jim blames Chris Pike.”
McCoy snorted, crossing his arms and legs as he relaxed back into the chair. “He’s one culprit,” he agreed. “But her two biggest enablers are there in the pool with her now.”
“Mama wa’ch!” Abby called.
“I’m watching, baby girl,” Marissa responded. “Be careful!” She couldn’t help adding, tensing slightly as she watched the little girl stand on Jim’s shoulders and then launch herself at Chekov feet first in a passable imitation of a cannonball. “Oh my,” she heaved a sigh as Abby’s little head broke above the water and she paddled to Chekov with a grin on her face.
“Didja see?” she asked as soon as she was picked up.
“I did,” Marissa smiled. “And you’re as crazy as your dada,” she declared, smiling even more when she heard Jim chuckle.
“Ag’n!” Abby declared, already climbing up Chekov’s torso.
“Once more,” Jim told her, “and then we’ll do something else.”
Marissa and McCoy sat companionably while they watched the ‘children’ play in the pool. She spent most of her time watching Abby and the pure enjoyment on her face as she swam like a little fish between her father and Chekov, yet no one would blame her if Jim’s bare, wet torso and his wide smile caught her attention more often than not. Back on the Enterprise barely two days, she was still getting her fill of looking at Jim. Between Abby and visitors and just being so tired, they’d really not had a lot of time together.
They hadn’t gotten into their old daily routine of getting ready for the day, or getting ready for bed together, where bare skin was the norm. She wasn’t really surprised to find that she was Jim starved. The touches and caresses were nice, and actually making love was a good start, but seeing him bare and glistening, Marissa found that she wanted to take him back to their quarters and lock them into their bedroom for the next week at least.
Not that that was going to happen with Abby underfoot, but the dream was nice. They’d have to make do with the time they had when Abby was sleeping. No one ever said having a sex life while parenting would be easy.
“I’d offer to watch Abby for the night, but I don’t think that would go over too well with her,” McCoy finally said, a knowing look on his face as he looked over at her.
“What?” Marissa asked nonplussed, the beginnings of a blush stealing over her face. She didn’t think her ogling of Jim was that obvious.
McCoy looked back at the pool. Abby was now sitting on Jim’s shoulders and trying to throw a ball at Chekov. While she was coordinated enough while swimming, she hadn’t quite gotten the hand-to-eye coordination down to throw a ball accurately. Half the time she dropped it behind her or threw it straight up in the air.
“You’re watching him like you want to eat him for dinner,” McCoy finally said.
Marissa couldn’t help grinning as she watched Jim stretch out for the ball, the muscles in his chest rippling nicely. Not an overly muscular man, he was still nicely proportioned with not much fat on him at all.
“And for breakfast and lunch,” she admitted honestly.
McCoy just shook his head in mock exasperation. “You two,” he murmured.
“Can you blame us?”
“Not at all,” McCoy admitted. “Like I said, I’d offer to watch Abby, but I don’t think she’d like the idea.”
“Probably not,” Marissa agreed with a frown. Waking up from her nap, Abby had still been out of sorts. She’d refused to let Marissa out of her sight and had followed her into the bathroom and to the kitchen and then insisted that Marissa come to her room while Jim helped her change into her swimsuit.
Once in the pool she’d relaxed, more focused on playing than where her mother was, but neither Jim nor Marissa missed how she’d glance over at Marissa every couple minutes just to make sure her mother was still there watching at the side of the pool.
“Heard about earlier, did you?” Marissa asked when McCoy didn’t say anything more.
“Yeah,” he nodded, still watching the pool. “I sent a message to Jim while you were sleeping and we had a little chat over the comm. about what happened. He wanted to know how what happened might affect Abby - aside from the tantrum part.”
“Well?” Marissa asked.
McCoy shrugged. “It’s hard to say. She’s a smart kid for her age, but she’s not even two. I told Jim she might be clingy and she’ll probably not want you to leave her sight. She might be a bit more demanding than usual, if that’s possible.”
“Well, you’re right about the clinging,” Marissa told him. “She followed me into the bathroom and wouldn’t leave my side. I was surprised that she let me leave the pool.”
“She can see you,” McCoy pointed out. “I think that is enough.”
“I just feel so horrible,” Marissa finally said after a few minutes of silence between them. “I didn’t mean to upset her and once it started…” she sniffed and wiped at her eye with a towel. She’d already cried enough today, but every time she thought of Abby’s tears she couldn’t help welling up again.
McCoy sighed and then glanced over at her. “That’s understandable,” he told her. “A tantrum like that…” he shook his head. “I think we’ve all triggered one at one time or another since you’ve been gone. Jim and Chekov are the only ones that can calm her down.”
“But I’m her mother,” Marissa said sadly.
“I know darlin’,” McCoy reached over and patted her hand sympathetically. “No one said this is going to be easy, but now that you’re back the healing can begin. It’s just going to take some time, and now that you know what might trigger a tantrum, you can avoid it.”
“Like the plague,” Marissa agreed.
“Yeah, well, she’s a Kirk,” McCoy commented dryly. “It might not matter if you avoid any triggers you might know about. When she wants something, I’m sure she’ll find away to try to get it, be it through a tantrum or guile.”
“She already has Jim’s innocent look down pat,” Marissa chuckled, wiping away another stray tear and trying to smile. “And she can be extremely persistent.”
“That she can,” McCoy agreed. “She’s got Jim and Pasha there, wrapped around her little finger, though I think Chekov’s the only one who can’t really say no to her. Jim’s set his limits and he sticks to them, for the most part. She doesn’t always like it, but I think it’s good for her - and Jim sometimes. Everyone on this tin can is always saying ‘yes, captain,’ ‘of course, captain,’ ‘whatever you say, captain,’” he quipped in mock disgust. “A little insubordination is good for him. Even if it only comes in toddler form.”
“And CMO form?” Marissa asked with a knowing smile. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say ‘whatever you say, captain,’ to Jim.”
“Course not,” McCoy scoffed. “Someone’s got to keep him in check and I don’t think Spock’s fully up to the job just yet. Still,” he said, shaking his head, his eyes on Abby and Jim, “it would have been a sad day for more than just Jim if Abby had left the Enterprise.”
Marissa frowned and looked over at McCoy in consternation. “Left the Enterprise?” she asked. “Why would Abby…” her eyes widened in surprise. “Did Jim honestly think of giving up the Enterprise to take care of Abby?”
The thought had never honestly occurred to her. In all the months she was on M’Qtobau she had always imagined Jim and Abby living on the Enterprise with their friends helping out. She’d never thought that Jim would give up his commission for their daughter. In her mind it had seemed like the path his mother had taken, leaving Starfleet to raise her sons, only to run back to the stars after a few years, leaving Sam and Jim behind.
“No,” McCoy shook his head. “The idea might have crossed his mind, but I don’t think Jim ever seriously considered leaving the Enterprise.”
“Then what?” she was still confused. “Was he going to send Abby away?”
That was even more farfetched than Jim giving up the Enterprise. Jim would never let his child grow up without him, if he could at all help it. The scars of his childhood ran deep; so deep that it had been years since he had last spoken to his mother. The little bit Marissa knew about the woman came from the fallout of the pseudo-biography book that had been released while she was pregnant with Abby. Jim had told her some details, enough to roughly explain the situation, but not nearly enough to satisfy. But what she had learned was enough; Jim would never let someone else raise his child.
Sitting forward, McCoy glanced over at her uncomfortably. “He hasn’t told you?”
“Obviously not,” Marissa frowned in exasperation. She was really getting tired of everyone knowing things she didn’t. On one hand, it was to be expected, but on the other hand there were obviously things that Jim needed to tell her. Sure, she’d only been back for a couple days, but she was sick of hearing tidbits from their friends. She wanted to hear it from Jim.
As frustrated as she was with him at times, he had talked with her earlier after Abby’s tantrum. He’d taken the time to answer some of her questions. They just hadn’t had time to themselves yet; not with Abby around and people visiting. Last night had been the first time they’d really been alone, and they’d had other priorities other than talking, something Marissa wasn’t about to give up after four months apart. Still, the idea of locking herself away with Jim for a week was sounding good for another reason; they could actually talk.
“Why would Jim send Abby off the Enterprise?” she asked, bringing her focus back to the current topic. She’d worry about finding time to talk to Jim later - when Abby was sleeping.
“He didn’t want to,” McCoy started hesitantly, “and I’m sure he wouldn’t have, but…” he trailed off, his gaze back on the pool and its occupants. “You should ask Jim.”
“Oh no,” Marissa declared crossly. “I am tired of people telling me to ask Jim, especially when Jim isn’t saying much at all, damn it. Veronique and Rand said the same thing when I wanted to know why I don’t have any clothes and why my picture of Na’fern and my quilt are missing. They said to ask Jim.”
“Have you actually asked him?” McCoy queried; his eyebrow high on his forehead. “You know how he is.”
Marissa shrugged. “Once or twice,” she admitted. “When I first noticed things missing he was on the bridge and when we are together there’s Abby to worry about and when we did have time alone it’s just never come up; we had other things on our minds.”
“I bet you did,” McCoy mumbled under his breath, holding back a knowing grin.
Marissa just gave him a condescending look. “You might think we’re all about sex since I’ve gotten back, but we spent the first night with Abby sleeping between us. Not very conducive to anything romantic, you know? This afternoon after Abby’s tantrum was the longest amount of time we had together alone and I was upset about what had just happened. He did answer some of my questions afterwards.” McCoy gave her a look, silently asking which ones, but Marissa shook her head. “They didn’t have anything to do with my clothes and stuff. Right now, I want to know why you would say that Jim would send Abby off the Enterprise.”
“He wouldn’t,” McCoy said adamantly. “He would never have let her go.”
“But why did it even come up?” Marissa countered, trying to understand. “Who the hell would she go to?”
Turning in his chair, McCoy looked directly at Marissa, his eyes sympathetic. “Who do you think?”
Shaking her head, Marissa was at a loss, but then, “My parents?” she asked hesitantly. “He was going to send her to my dad and Nancy?” she asked incredulously as she saw the confirmation in McCoy’s expression. “Why? Did he think he couldn’t…? My dad doesn’t even like…”
“Marissa,” McCoy interrupted her. “I said he didn’t want to. He fought it.”
“Fought?” Marissa mouthed silently. “I don’t understand. Was he…did someone order him to give up Abby? The Admiralty or…or…” she gave up, unable to understand why Starfleet would order such a thing, so shortly after her supposed death, when there were families serving on ships across the galaxy.
“Not the Admiralty,” McCoy said.
“Not the…” Marissa stared at him. “Then who?”
McCoy sighed heavily, looked over at Jim in the pool and than back at Marissa. “Damn it. I’m sorry I opened this can of worms. I thought he would have told you by now…”
“It’s only been a couple days,” Marissa defended Jim automatically. “But you have to tell me now, Len. You have to. I was planning on talking with Jim tonight about my clothes and quilt and stuff, but…you have to tell me who tried to take away Abby from Jim.” She wanted to hear McCoy say it, because she had a sinking feeling who it was and she didn’t want to believe it; it made her feel sick. He wouldn’t do that…he couldn’t…
“Your father,” McCoy confirmed suspicion.
“He asked Jim to give up Abby,” Marissa said slowly, praying that McCoy would say yes, but knowing the odds were slim.
McCoy looked at her sadly and shook his head slowly. “No, he didn’t ask for anything. He had his lawyer tell Jim to drop Abby off at some starbase to be sent to Earth and when Jim refused he sued for custody.”
“He what?” Marissa yelped incredulously, staring at McCoy in horror.
McCoy didn’t have time to reply as Abby came running across the deck towards her mother.
“Mama! We’s dun,” she announced.
“Abby don’t get mama all wet,” Jim called out from the pool side, but it didn’t stop the little girl from trying to climb into Marissa’s lap.
Abby’s cold skin pulled Marissa from her stunned stupor and she stiffly smiled down at her. “I see you’re done. Let’s get you dried and then we can head back and get you cleaned up and dressed.”
“I’s hungwy,” Abby announced as Marissa bundled her up and used a corner of the towel to rub Abby’s wet hair.
“Me too,” Marissa agreed. “We’ll go get dressed and then we can get some food.”
Jim came padding up, the water dripping down his torso and legs, and grabbed his towel. Slinging it over his shoulders, he rubbed his hair until it was sticking up but mostly dry. “Shall we eat in our quarters tonight?” he asked, glancing at Marissa.
For a moment she could only stare at him, her face blank as she tried to comprehend what she’d just learned. There was a tight ball of fury in her stomach, she was surprised to realize and part of that anger was directed at Jim. When exactly was he going to tell her?
“I think I’d rather eat in the mess,” Marissa told him, her voice just off enough to raise the suspicions of Jim, McCoy, and Chekov, who had just walked up. She really needed the distraction of a busy cafeteria if she wasn’t going to start yelling about Jim keeping secrets and her father being an ass. She didn’t want to upset Abby, after all.
“You okay, Mariss?” Jim asked with concern.
“I’m fine,” she immediately replied, only to hear McCoy huff under his breath.
Jim looked over at his friend in question. “Bones?”
McCoy didn’t even hesitate. “We were just chatting and she brought up…”
“Abby,” Marissa interrupted loudly, a small frown aimed over at McCoy as she stood up. “Can you sit here and let Pasha dry you off?” she asked the little girl. “I need to talk to dada really quick.”
“No weave!” Abby immediately said, grabbing Marissa’s legs, tears already in her eyes.
Marissa squatted down. “I’m not leaving, Abby girl. Dada and I are just going to go stand by the pool.” She glanced up at Chekov who was looking at her with an expression almost as worried as Jim’s. “Maybe you can help Pasha dry his hair?” she added, prodding Chekov.
“Zat would be wonderful,” Chekov chimed in with a grin. “I cannot get it all. You must help me, kotik.” He sat down in the Marissa’s chair and draped the towel over his head.
“I’s he’p you, Pasha,” Abby declared, climbing into his lap like Marissa had hoped.
Standing up again, Marissa looked over at Jim and McCoy, not missing the apologetic grimace McCoy shot his friend. With a nod, she walked over to the other side of the pool, still within Abby’s view, but far enough away that they wouldn’t be overheard.
“What’s up?” Jim asked when she turned and faced him. He’d draped the towel over his shoulders and was mostly dry except for his swim trunks.
Marissa took a moment to gather herself. She realized that the anger she was feeling, that she had to smother when near Abby, wasn’t really directed at Jim, but rather her father, but it still upset her to know that something so major had happened and Jim hadn’t bothered to tell her.
Taking a deep breath, she looked up at him and then over his shoulder at where Abby was clumsily toweling off Chekov’s head. “When exactly were you going to tell me that my father had the nerve to try to take Abby away from you?” she asked in a low, but even tone, her arms crossed over her chest.
“Oh,” Jim said, deflating in front of her with a sigh. “Bones mentioned it, huh?”
Marissa gave him a look that effectively said, ‘well, duh,’ and then, “He mentioned that it would have been a sad day if Abby left the Enterprise,” she explained. “I thought he meant that you had thought about giving up your commission.” She watched him expectantly.
“Well, it did cross my mind,” Jim said, running a hand through his hair as he did whenever he felt uncomfortable. “But never seriously - I didn’t want to make the same mistakes my mom did.”
“Good,” Marissa nodded. “And my father?” Shifting her weight to the other hip, she tapped her foot impatiently.
“It’s not like I wasn’t going to tell you,” Jim said defensively.
“Well, that’s good to know,” Marissa said sarcastically, her temper still just barely under the surface. “I’d hate to think that you’d actually let me comm. him from Galdonterre and make me look like a fool when I…”
“I was going to tell you,” Jim interrupted her, his voice a harsh whisper as he glanced over his shoulder at Abby. Reaching out, he took her shoulders and squatted slightly so he could look her in the eyes. “I was going to tell you, I just…it never seemed like the right time, you know? You’ve barely been back on the ship. How was I supposed to tell you something like that?”
“But…” Marissa started to protest before Jim pulled her into his arms.
“No buts, Marissa,” he told her. “Trust me on this. I would have told you - especially before you contacted him. But I also didn’t want to ruin everything by dumping that on you just after you got back, all right? That would have been a pretty big issue for you to deal with on your first day.”
Marissa nodded, her face pressed into the towel on his shoulder. She felt suspiciously close to tears. “But why would he do that?”
Jim sighed. “I don’t know. I only talked to his lawyer once, when he told me to drop Abby off at Starbase 23.”
“Bastard,” Marissa whispered.
“Hey,” Jim gave her a squeeze. “He’s your father. I’m sure he…he was doing what he thought was best.” He tried to sound sincere, but Marissa could tell he was choking on his words.
“Something I never would have agreed to,” Marissa said hotly. “And he knows that; should have known that.”
“It’s over,” Jim told her softly. “I won, so really, it’s a moot point.”
Marissa pulled back slightly and glared at him. “Except for the fact that his actions hurt you and put more stress on you and…”
Leaning forward, Jim gave her a quick kiss. “I’m fine. It wasn’t fun at the time. Not at all,” he huffed wryly. “But I made it through. And you’re here now.”
Shaking her head slightly, Marissa pressed her forehead against Jim’s shoulder. “Just because everything worked out in the end, doesn’t make it right, Jim.”
“I know that,” he replied.
“He hurt you. He attacked you. And he put his own agenda ahead of Abby’s happiness and well being.”
“In his mind he was…”
“Don’t you defend him,” Marissa snapped, then a look of horror crossed her face. “Oh god, please tell me Nana and Nancy weren’t in on this too.”
Jim shrugged. “I don’t know,” he told her honestly. “I don’t think so, but I don’t know for sure. All communication went through our lawyers. I only talked to your family briefly after you…after the bombing, and he wasn’t very happy with me at the time.”
“I can imagine,” Marissa commented, allowing herself to sink into his arms. She’d always known her father was a controlling ass, but it still angered her that he would try something so horrendous as to take a away child from its only surviving parent.
A thought occurred to her and she brought her head up to look at Jim. “Does this have anything to do with why I don’t have any clothes and my quilt is missing?”
Nodding, Jim did his best to keep his expression neutral, but she could see the pain and anger flash in his eyes. “Yeah,” he told her. “He had a list of all your things…stuff you had brought to the Enterprise and things you’d bought along the way. He wanted it all. My lawyer suggested giving it to him in order to show the judge that I was willing to compromise. I was pissed, but I wanted Abby more, so I did it.”
“I’m sorry,” Marissa whispered, rubbing a hand down his arm and squeezing his fingers.
“Nothing for you to be sorry about,” Jim told her.
“Mama! Dada!” Abby called, interrupting their conversation.
They glanced over at McCoy and Chekov who had been doing their best to entertain Abby, while giving them a modicum of privacy, but she had reached her limit.
“Ready to eat?” Jim called over to her.
“Yeah!” Abby yelled back, wiggling away from Chekov and then making her way around the pool.
“Slow down, Abby,” Jim warned her. “No running by the pool.” She listened, slowing her pace a little.
“Jim,” Marissa said quickly as Abby approached them. “Tonight we are going to talk about what went on while I was gone. I know you don’t want to upset me or…whatever, but I need to know what you went through. I want to…I need to understand. Please?”
Leaning down, Jim scooped up Abby into his arms and then turned to her with a sigh. “All right, but you know most of it already.”
“I want to hear it from you,” Marissa told him softly, before smiling over at Abby. “Shall we go get you both dressed so that we can go eat?”
Abby nodded.
Looking over at McCoy, who was climbing into the pool, and Chekov who was still seated in the lounge chair, Jim waved his thanks as they made their way out of the room.
“Bye-bye Pasha!” Abby called over Jim’s shoulders as they approached the doors. “See you at dinwer!”
They didn’t hear Chekov’s response, but Jim chuckled as he looked down at Abby. “Pasha has to go to work, Abby. I don’t think we will see him at dinner. It might just be you and me and mama.”
Abby took a moment to think about this and then smiled at Jim. “Okay!”
“I’m glad you approve, munchkin,” Jim told her. Reaching out, he wrapped an arm around Marissa and pulled her close. “Let’s go get ready for dinner.”
Please review
Sorry for the delay in posting. This chapter wasn’t quite ready and I’ve caught a cold, so I’ve spent most of the day staring at the ceiling…or the wall, or napping.
Just as a warning, I only have one chapter left in reserve, so unless a miracle happens, next week will be my last post for a while until I get things caught up and in order. I know where I’m going, I just haven’t had the time. I will be posting the Winona chapter of First and Impressing and Quality Time in the next week or two, so keep a look out for that.
As always, many thanks to Royalpinkdogs for her beta work, shoulder to bitch on, and general all around awesomeness. I don’t think I would be writing this story without her support and encouragement.