What's This Feeling?
So, I can't really tell how I feel about all of this. I'm less upset about this than I was with the whole "facing the consequences" status update situation. Like I seriously cried over that whole thing and still liked him even if it was what I was afraid of. I'm not heartbroken or pissed and I'm not like numb or anything. I know my feelings for him haven't changed, but then shouldn't I be upset about this? Right now, I'm still at the point where if all he was ever going to want was to be friends, I could accept that and be happy with it, but at the same time if he wanted more I would be more than happy with that. I'm like in this middle ground of caring for him as a friend, but there being definite potential for something more. I don't know if I'm just really confident in Zach's ability to break a couple up or if it's my past experience with the whole frosh/soph-senior thing or it's because I think Flapjack & I could really work together, but I kind of have this feeling that things between him and this other girl won't work out or last long, but this feelings mixed in with apprehension that they will.
Then Josh gets thrown into the mix and that's becoming another gray area. I can't tell if I'm starting to like Josh as more than friends or if my feelings for Flapjack are just spilling over onto him because he's always around and there's always a flirty edge to everything when I'm with those two. Josh is becoming more and more flirty and is seeking me out more and more to talk to, but I don't know if he's just becoming more comfortable around me as a friend or has he started to like me? Sometimes it's hard to tell if he's just being friendly or if he's trying to find an opening to get between me and Flapjack, so he can have a chance. Also, sometime it seems like the two of them are just playing around and sometimes it seems like a real one up man-ship contest between them. Like being close and flirty with Flapjack is very easy and comfortable, and we're getting to know more about each other everyday. With Josh it's like we talk more, even about things like Flapjack and me, but we're not as physically close. So I don't know if all three of us are just friends or if one or both of them like me as more.
Then Josh gets thrown into the mix and that's becoming another gray area. I can't tell if I'm starting to like Josh as more than friends or if my feelings for Flapjack are just spilling over onto him because he's always around and there's always a flirty edge to everything when I'm with those two. Josh is becoming more and more flirty and is seeking me out more and more to talk to, but I don't know if he's just becoming more comfortable around me as a friend or has he started to like me? Sometimes it's hard to tell if he's just being friendly or if he's trying to find an opening to get between me and Flapjack, so he can have a chance. Also, sometime it seems like the two of them are just playing around and sometimes it seems like a real one up man-ship contest between them. Like being close and flirty with Flapjack is very easy and comfortable, and we're getting to know more about each other everyday. With Josh it's like we talk more, even about things like Flapjack and me, but we're not as physically close. So I don't know if all three of us are just friends or if one or both of them like me as more.