The New 52 - September DC Comics roundup
Okay, so I have read basically all of the new DC comics titles that interested me, plus a couple more I was curious about. Anyway, my reactions range from a few \o/ to a couple of WTAFs, and my brain is mostly a mixture of "ahh lol what comics". So, uh. I am posting my reactions along with just under 100 scans under the cut. Don't judge me.
Background: DC Comics have been around since the 30s, expanding their stories to include more and more characters and story arcs and multiple universes in which different stories take place. Every few decades, each character gets rebooted to fit in with the times, much like we've seen recent reboots of certain characters in superhero movies, where origin stories are recreated to fit the times (Iron Man, Batman Begins, XMFC, etc).
So, this year DC Comics have decided to basically reboot everything. Not all characters are going back to zero, but all of the ongoing titles have been renumbered to start at #1 -- Detective Comics, the main Batman comic book, was the longest continuously published comic book in the US, running from its first issue in 1937 to its 881st issue last month before relaunching again at #1 a couple weeks ago.
One of the reasons DC did this was to make the stories and characters more accessible for new audiences, which I suppose might work, but as someone who loved many of the existing relationships between characters I'm a little heartbroken at some of the relationships wiped clean. Then again, reboots can be exciting! So IDK, it goes both ways.
THAT SAID, if there's one thing I can say about all of the new titles, is that the art is, in most cases, utterly gorgeous.
Note: I wrote this up a month ago but uh, it takes me time to post. I added background info where necessary so I'm pretty sure you can read this even if you never read any comics at all. So, with no further ado - choice scans from last month's:
Action Comics #1:
GUYS SUPERMAN IS WEARING JEANS WHAT THE WHAT. ALSO HE IS SUPREMELY COCKY. WHO IS THIS NEW SUPERMAN AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ALL-AMERICAN HERO? And the cops didn't even know for sure he was bulletproof!
Seriously, okay, I'm kind of digging both the outfit and the attitude? It's so unlike him, which is refreshing at the very least :D The story is that Superman isn't exactly working with the city authorities, who've asked for the assistance of Lex Luthor to take him out.
Superman, in this reiteration, where the only thing he'd need is a red shirt to belong on a Communist poster, apparently turns into a grown up Harry Potter when he's in civvies:
And the biggest surprise -- in this new rebooted universe, not only is he no longer married to Lois, not only does she not know his identity, but apparently he works for a rival paper to the Daily Planet. Given the pace of comic storytelling, I'm guessing none of the above facts are going to change until at least 2014.
Finally, two things that amused me:
Smallville shoutout, y/y?
and:
Loooooool Grant Morrison. I never would have known you as a kinky mofo if it weren't for Bandom, but I do, and "Superman in chains" just makes... so much sense now :D
Justice League of America:
Okay, so the JLA is the superteam of superheroes who watch over the world. From the watchtower they built on the moon. Because seven people are better than one. Things have not always been peachy between the team members, far from, but in the end, they -- usually -- managed to get over their differences to work together. My favorite issue of the old JLA was the one where Superman and Batman decided, as a show of trust, to reveal their secret identities to the other JLA members, and it was an entire issue of "HOLY SHIT YOU'RE MILLIONAIRE PLAYBOY BRUCE WAYNE?" and "YOU'RE COUNTRY BUMPKIN REPORTER CLARK KENT WHAT" and I loooooooooved it, oh, so much <3
And now, in the new JLA, we are not only in square one, we're in square zero:
We begin with Batman fighting a monster that gets slammed into by a green firetruck, ie, Batman getting his ass saved by Green Lantern:
GREEN LANTERN DIDN'T EVEN KNOW BATMAN WAS REAL :D :D :D UGH I LOVE IT.
LOL Green Lantern talks about himself in third person.
GL has shown up in Gotham to save the day. Batman cares. A lot.
LOL, "Note to self, Batman: Green Lantern can handle everything." Also: the point in every superhero's life where they discover that Batman is legit insane. YES, HE'S JUST A GUY IN A BAT SUIT OKAY, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.
Batman shows GL that he does have something at least up his armored sleeve, and tells him to shut up. Clearly this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship <3
So it turns out the monster planted some kind of alien computer on, idk, Earth, and Batman and GL reason that since it LOOKS alien it might have to do with that alien guy in Metropolis, Superman! "I've been researching him," Batman says darkly. "His power levels are dangerous." GL assures Batman (cockily!) that they won't be a problem for him, and flies them both to Metropolis in his super subtle glowing green jet.
GL traps Batman in a green cage to keep him safe (Bats is obviously pleased by this), and smirks: "I can handle this."
Which is when:
LOOK WHO'S BACK IN BIG BLUE TIGHTS :D Okay mostly I included this photo because Supes looks hot in it, ahem, moving on.
LET'S TALK ABOUT SOME LADIES:
Batwoman:
All right, so the main reason I was excited about this was because of Maggie Sawyer. Once upon a time there was an amazing comic book called Gotham Central about the Gotham Police Major Crimes Unit, of which Captain Maggie Sawyer was the head of.
Batwoman #1 begins with Batwoman saving a couple from a creepy water monster, and, according to their report to the police, promising she'd find their kidnapped kids and return them to them. Detective Sawyer can't promise them that, but:
She steps outside, and finds Kate Kane -- aka Batwoman -- lounging around outside, staring at the photo of Detective Renee Montoya, with whom she'd had a relationship, mounted on the police station wall, next to photos of other officers who'd fallen in duty.
They have a daaaaate :D Even though WHY IS RENEE DEAD WHY, I loved her. Although it's possible she's not dead, I don't actually know. So I'm happy for Kate and Maggie! I love Maggie. But Reneeee D: Also can someone please explain to me WHAT IS UP WITH KATE KANE'S ART WHAT THE FUCK, she looks so pale and disturbing -- is it just me who didn't remember her like this? Maybe I'm overreacting blah, I just didn't remember the eyeshadow being so... shadowy.
Anyway -- stuff happens in the comic, it's a bit of a blur, but 1) Batwoman has a sidekick! :D and 2) The writers were going very heavy on the femslash:
Sorry for the tiny font!
And this is from when they get back from their mission -- like I said, very heavy on the femslash. We have two girls in a room together so hey, let's get them naked:
Batwoman's daddy issues are revealed -- dad let her twin sister become an evil supervillain, you know the drill -- and the issue ends with Batman offering Batwoman some kind of proposition. I'm not sure where it's going, but I'm, for the moment, intrigued. (For the record, Batman and Batwoman aren't officially affiliated, though they've cooperated in the past; she's an independently wealthy woman who decided to hop on the Bat-wagon to become a superhero herself.)
Pretty art is pretty.
Batgirl:
Arrrrrgh no no no no no D:. Here is the story of Batgirl -- ETA, FUCK I just spent over an hour on tumblr looking at various pics of Barbara, that's how awesome she is -- okay. A brief history: Barbara Gordon was the daughter of Gotham Police Commissioner, Jim Gordon, and one day on Halloween, dressed as a female Batman, she kicked some ass and saved some people. She soon became Bargirl under Batman's mentorship, and stayed that until leaving for DC to work in politics and later become a librarian. In 1985, in one of the most influential Batman comic books, Alan Moore's The Killing Joke, the Joker shot her in the spinal cord to mess with her father, and left her paraplegic. Babs trained herself in a few new martial arts to make sure she could handle herself in a wheelchair but more importantly, as a super skilled computer hacker and excellent human being, she became Oracle, a hero unto herself, a go-to-person for all things tech, a mentor, the leader of her own superhero team (Birds of Prey), and all in all one of the best DCU characters all round.
Just, LOOK at how freaking awesome, ugh, I love her, and naturally she also snagged the hottest guy in the DCU because why wouldn't she, not to even MENTION the femslash.
So ANYWAY. After remaining in a wheelchair for the past 26 years, the relaunch has decided to miraculously make her walk again. Fail, DCU, so much fail, and you were doing SO WELL. I still love Babs, and now that it's done, I'm going to give them/her the benefit of doubt because I want to keep caring about her character and I do, but oh, why :(
So the new Batgirl #1 starts with her getting back in the game as Batgirl, and moving into a new place. I kind of enjoyed the relationship they wrote with her new roommate -- kind of gave me a Middleman vibe, IDK, there's potential for cuteness there:
And there was basically a single panel as Batgirl where I appreciated the humor:
But oh, Babs, you are awesome for so much more than your ability to ride motorcycles and kick things with your legs, and I really, really hope the rest of your story arc decides to showcase that :( Also what is up with you being unable to afford things :( you are a superhacker with mad skills and equipment, I find that difficult to believe :(
Birds of Prey:
Okay, so Birds of Prey is the all-girl superhero team that Barbara (Batgirl) led way back when. I admit, I'm not up to date on recent canon there, so I wasn't exactly sure how we arrived here, or why exactly Barbara is at odds with Dinah, aka Black Canary, aka Barbara's OTP for, like, everybody.
The new Birds of Prey #1 starts with a private investigator who's been following the team members, trying to discover their secret identities for whoever hired him. The POV here is Dinah's, and the most I can say about this is that I cheered for Barbara showing up and kept staring at how pretty they were:
Why so mad, girls :( Apparently because Dinah's wanted for murder or something idk :( what :(
PI dude thinks he's being discreet, and is surprised when Starling saves his ass from whatever weird robots these are that she and Black Canary have been fighting. I've never seen Starling before, but guys. I like her :D
Starling and Mr. Keen save Dinah:
Starling and Dinah reveal that he was not as subtle as he'd thought:
The comic ends with them taking him to an airport for refuge and a rather alarming shot of blood pouring out of all of his facial orifices. Which, let me tell you, black characters have not been faring well in many of the comics of the new DCU :( What is up, guys. At least he's not dead though, and otherwise I'm looking forward to the rest of this series.
Batman:
BATMAN. :D :D :D. So Batman is this dude, Bruce Wayne, you may have heard of him, oh ha ha I am hilarious let me just get to the gist. What follows below is basically a chronology of my reactions as I read the first half of Batman #1:
It starts with a narration of how Gothamites think of the city of Gotham, as Batman is shown battling all of Gotham's main supervillains and his arch-nemeses (with beautiful art, by the way, and freaking creepy redesigns for some of the characters) -- all but one, who is conspicuously missing: the Joker.
And this is me: WHAT WHAT WAIT WTF THEY'RE NOT REALLY -- I KNOW THIS IS A REBOOT BUT THE JOKER AND BATMAN AREN'T ACTUALLY GOING TO--
--COOPERATE OH MY GOD THEY'RE FIGHTING IN TANDEM WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WHAT
So they fight, and when the fight is over Batman talks to Commissioner Gordon and reveals to him that he had a man on the inside at Arkham Asylum who helped him discover the dirty guard at the place. Gordon comments on Batman and the Joker during the fight:
me: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT also I LOVE HIM AND BATMAN and also STILL WHAT THE FUCK, JOKER, WTF
And then, back in the batcave:
"So it's true..."
me: 1. LOLOLOL it's true, Bruce is a worse brooder than Angel 2. WHAT WHAT IN THE FUCKING BATCAVE BRUCE I KNEW YOU WERE INSANE BUT ARE YOU INSANE WHAT THE ACTUAL-- 3. .............................OH. IT'S DICK. I AM THE WORLD'S BIGGEST IDIOT, HELLO.
DIIIIIIIIIIICK I LOVE YOU HI I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS PANEL DEAR BATMAN #1 I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH
NO WAIT NOW I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE AHHHHHHHH BATBOYS ALL OF THE BATBOYS STANDING TOGETHER :D AND BANTERING :D AND BEING ARRANGED BY HEIGHT LOLOLOLOL :D :D :D SO HAHA, IT'S KIND OF CRAZY HOW HAPPY THIS PANEL MADE ME :D :D :D \\\o///
Short briefing for the uninitiated: so there on the left is Dick Grayson, aka the first Robin, whom Bruce adopted when he was a kid and whom Chris O'Donell played in the movies with Val Kilmer and George Clooney. Dick was Robin between the '40s and the '80s in real world time, a bright and happy acrobat despite the dire circumstances of being adopted by Bruce, who is not the most, uh, nurturing parent. When Dick was around college age he and Bruce had a falling out and Dick eventually dropped the mantle of Robin, Batman's sidekick, and instead became a hero in his own right: Nightwing, watching over Bludhaven, Gotham's sister-city, and leading the Teen Titans or the Titans, kind of a sidekick-version of the Justice League of America. Dick is the little black dress of the DC universe -- he is hot and friendly and a fucked up and lovable and okay, sometimes a douche, but I love him, I can't not <3333
On Dick's right, it's Bruce, the father figure -- figuratively and literally, as he's either legally adopted or biologically fathered all of these boys.
To his right, Tim Drake, aka Robin #3, who was a super intelligent fanboy of both Batman and Robin as a little kid and stalked both of them until he discovered their secret identities. Tim was convinced that Batman needed a Robin to function (on both a practical and emotional level) and so he became Robin himself. He started out a normal kid from a happy family, but being Batman's sidekick isn't exactly healthy in the long run, and Tim managed to see both his parents killed, his girlfriend killed, his best friends killed, and finally Bruce killed (or at least, they all thought he was dead). MIGHT TIM BE THE FANDOM WOOBIE? I THINK HE MIGHT. He's also super secretive and kind of crazy-paranoid -- Bruce trained him well -- but at least he has friends, and a big brother (Dick ♥) he looks up to, and oh, Tim, I love him so <3__<3.
Finally on the right is Damien, Bruce's biological son from Batman's enemy Ra's Al Ghul's daughter, Talia. Damien grew up with his mother, trained by assassins, and was only discovered as Bruce's long lost never-knew-he-existed son a couple of years ago (so probably months ago, in comic book time). While Bruce was missing-presumed-dead, Dick donned the cloak of Batman and Damien became Robin, mostly by being a lethally trained brat who's almost impossible to get rid of, let alone when you feel responsible for him for being Bruce's son.
And that's -- well, okay, about half the batfamily, maybe even less, but it's so rare seeing them all in the same frame instead of off having separately angsty adventures in their own separate titles that it makes me happy :D
A few more panels just because ugh gorgeous art:
Ugh, gorgeous art. And:
Seriously, damn, but I love these colors.
ETA: LOLOL BRUCE WAYNE. Here is the first page of Detective Comics #2:
The best business meetings are shirtless sweaty business meeting! I feel like this whole page was written as porn foreplay and all of a sudden 1940's Bruce Wayne pops up with his terrible banter.
Next up:
Batman & Robin:
Until now, Batman & Robin was a series that told the story of Dick-as-Batman trying to whip Damien-as-Robin into shape, learning to trust him, them learning to work as a team. Now that Bruce is back, he's getting to know his son for the first time. By taking him on a late night field trip to... the place where his own parents were killed. BRUCE WAYNE: BEST DAD EVER.
Looool at Bruce skulking around at night talking to figurines of his father's torso. BE MORE UNHINGED. Also I enjoy the bongs. It's like Bruce's subconscious is craving them.
Also LOL at Damien's instant alertness. Like father, like son.
Bruce you are such a creep <3
Damien is still a brat, but honestly, when Bruce is acting like this, I can't blame him.
Aw, okay, I enjoyed the "boat" exchange for reals.
The issue -- I don't even remember what it was about, man, there must have been bad guys, and Damien was impulsive like always -- ends with:
Which, okay, more stuff like this and I'll actually be interested in Bruce and Damien's relationship <3 I do kind of love the fact that while he's Bruce's son, Dick's the one he managed to win over, or at least win over his trust. (Tim, by the way, still hates his guys.)
ETA: Since I have read issue #2 since composing this, let me just add a few more moments of Bruce Wayne, Learning To Be a Father:
Yes, Bruce. Talia was a terrible mother, what with all that indoctrination and fighting. God I love Alfred though.
See Bruce is a MUCH better father lol:
Heee Alfred, and also "I'm a billionaire, Damien, not a trillionaire." Sigh, kids these days.
Batwing:
Okay, I have no idea who Batwing was up until now, and honestly I'm still kind of iffy about the story because so far it's just been super gore-y and almost everyone dies D: But the art is gorgeous, so here's a sample:
Titans Annual #1:
Haha, okay, technically this isn't part of the new AU and I barely even understood the context as I was reading it, but regardless of that, I'm just posting this scan because it cracked me up:
Nightwing:
DICK NO WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOUR FAAAAACE UGH THIS ART AND WHY WHY WHY IS YOUR COSTUME RED INSTEAD OF BLUE, WHY. ALSO WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE A BLACK 19TH CENTURY NECKTIE ON. WHAT IS THIS.
Okay, I was really disappointed by Nightwing, because Diiiiiick I love him, why make his comic boring? On the plus side, at least his characterization is consistent with his inability to stop flirting for a moment /o\
Then again, I can't blame him for being shallow when the only thing I think of watching these panels is "mmm Dick stretching. mmm Dick eating cereal. mmm Dick bending. mmm biceps."
Watching Dick in civvies is an exercise in "Dialogue? What Dialogue?" (also lol Dick what are your dirty old socks.)
Superboy:
And now we've arrived at Superboy, aka an exercise in HOW TO BREAK MY HEART. Kon. Connor Kent, aka Kon-El, aka Superboy, was the lovechild lab-grown DNA-clone of Lex Luthor and Clark Kent, because, I mean. COMICS CANON <3. His powers are slightly different and slightly weaker than Superman's (what with being half-human), and he became Superman's sidekick early on, and was sent to Smallville to live with Clark's parents and go to Smallville High, flying off to Titans Tower in the weekends to be a teen superhero with the rest of the sidekicks. His best friends were Tim (Robin), Cassie (Wonder Girl) and Bart (Kid Flash), who helped him through the traumatic discovery that his dad was a supervillain, who had pretty severe breakdowns when he died and who were overjoyed when he came back. They are family, they are a team, and apparently now their entire history has been erased D:
Superboy #1 starts off with Kon, back in the lab, waaaaay back in the beginning. A new beginning.
Though he has self-awareness and has been studying the scientists studying him for the past few months, they don't realize that he's sentient in any way, and decide to pull the plug on him. His powers activate in self defense and the blast ends up killing a bunch of the scientists. We skip forward a month to Kon as the new kid in Smallville High, walking home a girl from school - Rose Wilson.
...THERE SEEMS TO BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH KON.
It turns out that the entire thing was a virtual reality scenario, and Kon is still under lock and key. Rose is working ith the scientists and plays characters in scenarios they test him with. I AM BASICALLY INCLUDING THIS SCAN JUST BECAUSE SHE CALLS HERSELF A MARY SUE:
(Rose is actually another character we know - she's the daughter of a supervillain, a trained killer herself, who defected from the dark side and joined the Teen Titans in, well, all previous canons up to now.)
The scientists only know that Kon's alien DNA was taken from Superman, but don't know who the human donor was -- they can only suspect, due to Kon's behavior in the VR scenarios, that it's a "deeply pathological, megalomaniac narcissist".
Aaaaaaaaand that's basically it! The issue ends with some scientist saying he wants to use Kon for something, and Kon silently agreeing to cooperate if it's what'll get him free. And it'll have something to do with the Teen Titans.
THE POINT IS. THE POINT IS. I want to read about Kon, okay, I'm totally fine with reading about this as an AU, but I NEED KON AND THE TITANS TO HAVE GROWN UP AS TEENS TOGETHER AND NOW THEY HAVEN'T AND IT BREAKS MY HEART.
But it breaks my heart the most when I read the new first issue of Teen Titans.
Teen Titans:
Quick intro: Teen Titans USED to be a team of teenage superheros who met in Titans Tower every weekend to hang out, support each other, and save the world. They were led by Robin (Tim) or Wonder Girl (Cassie), and at its heart included those two plus Superboy (Kon) and Kid Flash (Bart). They had some rough times, but they got through them together. They were family - they were more than family - and they shaped each other, growing up.
........all have which has now been erased. STARTING OVER, the issue begins with Bart (Kid Flash) trying to help some firefighters control a fire, after being his own hyper, flashy self in front of the newscasters:
It does not exactly go as planned... /o\:
Back in the batcave, or in one of Tim's safehouses, Tim is monitoring a million news channels and spy equipment (Batman & sons are the world's biggest stalkers), listening to the growing complaints about undisciplined teenage so-called heroes who do more harm than good.
(Text is not so important, sorry for size. Mostly I just find Tim absurdly hot most of the time, still, especially when he's in detective mode, and wanted to share that.)
Tim decides that, though he was hoping to avoid it, it's time to act.
APPARENTLY IT'S ALSO TIME TO GET WINGS. TIM YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS. Not that the cape was any LESS ridiculous when you really think about it, but still /o\ I do, however, appreciate him going back to a simple domino mask instead of a full face helmet. Hi Tim, I like your face.
So I'm not sure what Tim's plan is, but it involves rounding up some teen superheroes who previously didn't know one another, beginning with a girl who was just pulled over by a cop driving down the coast in California. She is dressed like a valley girl which distresses me greatly because Cassie was so fucking awesome with her tank top and jeans, and here she flirts with the officer who pulled her over and cowers and her lip starts wobbling and I was like whyyy whyyyyyyyy and then the officer tried to kill her and then this happened:
First of all, LOL TIM "My name is Red Robin, and I need you to come with me", have you been reading too many comic books what is wrong with you /o\ also I am still a little disturbed by Cassie the oversexualized teenager, I mean I know this is a comic book but still.
Anyway Tim keeps pushing and pushing and trying to get her to admit who she is and they're attacked by bad guys and she finally snaps:
Cassie *___*. Okay I still don't know how exactly they're characterizing her here, and I still love the old costume but that was kind of awesome.
To they fight together a bit:
So Tim is (continuously!) impressed! And also a patronizing douchebag! But lol at the homeschool gag. I guess this means that in this universe, Tim didn't go to a public high school and have to keep his superhero identity from his friends... he was probably brought up as Tim Wayne, adopted by eccentric billionaire Bruce Wayne, social recluse.
Poor Cass. The most I can hope for here is to see their friendships begin to form and watch them grow into a team... I hope they write it well.
The issue ends with this:
I guess the scientists are preparing to release Superboy into the wild? Or maybe use him as a weapon against the others? I don't know, but I'm looking forward to seeing him defect to the Teen Titans. And also for him to turn out to NOT BE EVIL.
Catwoman:
I don't have much to say about this issue except that oh hey, this is how superheroes have sex with their costumes on:
Okay, last two:
Red Hood and the Outlaws
HOLY SHIT Roy Harper what has HAPPENED to you. I have no idea where this is picking off from but wow.
Okay, for the new: This comic is not even about Roy Harper, or so I thought. Roy was Speedy, the teenage sidekick of Green Arrow and member of the 80s era Teen Titans, who later grew up to become Red Arrow (no special powers, just great aim with a crossbow.) He has a history of drug addiction (heroin?) and got a girl pregnant and he got cleaned up and became a dedicated young, soon single, father to Lian, his daughter that DC Comics decided to kill her (RAGE). All I know is that he was part of the Justice League for a while and presume he left after losing his daughter, but that's all I know... and now he is apparently captive somewhere. And--
...rescued by our POV character, JASON TODD. O__O.
I have to say, I was not interested in this comic at all -- no Jason plots have ever interested me in the past -- but I am definitely intrigued by this, and am finally, after all this time, liking Jason! HUH.
On Jason: Jason was the second Robin, who Bruce picked up from the streets and trained and then watched be killed by the Joker. Except that YEARS AND YEARS LATER (about 20 years in real world time and probably 4-5 years in DCU time) it turned out that he wasn't dead! He returned as a villain and has a love/hate (mostly hate) relationship with the rest of the Batfamily and is now a kind of in-between figure, fighting for good but with methods Bruce doesn't approve of (he doesn't mind killing). He has tried to kill all members of the Batfamily in the past. It's kinda great.
Breaking Roy out of whatever jail he's in, Jason is joined by Starfire, which holy shit:
First off let me just say that I would read ALL OF THE BANDOM AUS where Brendon was given her backstory here, ahem. That said it is truly disgusting what has happened to Kory (Starfire) here, which we will see momentarily. First some cute banter:
IDK they are kind of charming me here! Especially since Roy used to be Dick's best friend and Dick is Jason's adopted older brother who Jason tried to kill.
Anyway. So Jason takes Roy off to his secret tropical island for some weeks off to recuperate. Starfire is there too. Other than looking like she belongs on a Playboy, Kory has a casual attitude towards sex -- which, awesome, yay -- but she ALSO, apparently in this universe, hardly differentiates between humans (she's an alien) and has the attention span and memory of a fly, which is INCREDIBLY SKEEVY wtf D:.
SEE ugh wtf. On the other hand I enjoy Roy and Jason's leaning up against one another, like, what, is there not enough room to spread out on your private island beach?
Kory propositions Roy:
I just, it is so WRONG that she can't remember all of the others -- she was a member of the Titans too, they were her team, her family, she had serious relationships with some of them. What. The fuck. (And Roy you KNOW her you are disgusting. Unless their entire history has been rewritten too, which is entirely possible, yet still.)
So there is that, which is why I'm saving Wonder Woman for last, so we can at least finish with some awesome girl stuff. But first let's have another pretty boy:
Aquaman:
So let's talk about Aquaman!
I had never read Aquaman before. I knew him only on the fringes of my DC consciousness, but figured a reboot to issue #1 might be a good place to start, and Glen Weldon from pop Culture Happy Hour is a huge Aquaman fanboy so there's that, so I'll give it a shot.
It took a full single page for the art to completely win me over:
...so pretty *___*
Seriously so pretty *___* I'm sorry I hate to be all googly eyed for this golden god but he is so SHINY look at his BREASTPLATE and also panel FOUR *__*. I have no idea why they're not shooting at his face, possibly they are too blinded by his beauty to aim.
So the issue starts with those first few pages about Aquaman stopping these two petty criminals in the middle of the street. But my favorite thing about this comic was that it was really just a prolonged diner scene where everybody gossips about Aquaman, shocked to see him operating above ground, and about how he is apparently pegged as the loser superhero.
LOL he looks so insulted.
Random dude joining the table to grill him:
Awww bb you are Glen Weldon's favorite superhero, that counts for something. Also I understand that Entourage made a buck off of you. You matter.
I don't know much of his mythology yet - he's the son of a human and some kind of Guardian of the Ocean (maybe a Greek god?) and he lives in Atlantis, and I was less thrilled with the sweeping romance-novel-cover kiss the issue ended with of him and his girlfriend, but I had enough fun reading this to keep going.
Supergirl:
HOW MUCH did I love the art in this issue and also KARA:
*_______________*
This issue was just one looooooooong exposition scene where nothing happened, but aw Kara. Kara was Kal-El (Superman's) older cousin who was babysitting him as a baby and about to graduate, and all of a sudden she wakes up on Earth, in Russia, with strange powers and strength she wasn't used to. The US sends soldiers to fight her and find out who she is, there is some Russia-handling-fail, and then Clark shows up to save the day, stop the fighting, and figure out who the hell this girl who is wearing his embalm is.
He is kind of a little cocky about it and Kara is scared and alone and she has something to say about that:
I cheated, these two scans are from issue #2, but that's where the good stuff starts happening :D
Also HEY LOOKIT:
Basically it is awesome so be reading comics and suddenly find an ad for a Panic song :D Also I might talk about it more at some point but the lyrics video for Panic's Batman song, with footage from the game, is basically the MOST HILARIOUS THING IN THE UNIVERSE:
CATWOMAN PUTS PICS OF PANIC ON HER PHONE. BATMAN HAS PANIC ON HIS HOLO-BAT-NAVIGATOR. I just. LOL.
And finally:
Wonder Woman:
I've only ever read Wonder Woman as part of the Justice League, never in her own book, so I was really looking forward to this. I was not thrilled by the Cartoon Network-like style of the cover art, until I started reading the issue itself. After a monologue by whom I assume will be the bad guy, we cut to this:
SO GORGEOUS. There's so little dialogue in this book, and so much visual motion and fluidity and beautiful storytelling by the art itself.
So the scythe person lops off the horses' heads, and centaurs grow out of them in a pretty gory scene, and this this blue dude shows up at the farm girl -- Zola-- 's house and tells her she needs to get out of there. We're in Zola's POV, so we basically know as much as she does:
They're attacked, and blue dude gets shot in the abdomen with an arrow, and as the evil centaurs charge he tosses Zola a key which transports her to...
Will you look at that *______________*.
They're transported back to the farm, where Wonder Woman is awesome for a bit:
GUYS I LIKE THIS. Ugh the sunrise and Zola and Diana, I am getting SUCH a Xena and Gabrielle vibe from this whole thing <3.
Diana kills the evil centaurs and finds the injured blue dude, who turns out to be Hermes. And Hermes has a warning, and an -- well, an annunciation, if you will:
And there we are! COMICS. All of these are new series, so I don't know where they're going or whether I'll keep reading. But if you want recs for old comic books/storylines, info on characters or relationships, or fic recs (of which there are a lot), let me know and I will do my best to help you out :D
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Background: DC Comics have been around since the 30s, expanding their stories to include more and more characters and story arcs and multiple universes in which different stories take place. Every few decades, each character gets rebooted to fit in with the times, much like we've seen recent reboots of certain characters in superhero movies, where origin stories are recreated to fit the times (Iron Man, Batman Begins, XMFC, etc).
So, this year DC Comics have decided to basically reboot everything. Not all characters are going back to zero, but all of the ongoing titles have been renumbered to start at #1 -- Detective Comics, the main Batman comic book, was the longest continuously published comic book in the US, running from its first issue in 1937 to its 881st issue last month before relaunching again at #1 a couple weeks ago.
One of the reasons DC did this was to make the stories and characters more accessible for new audiences, which I suppose might work, but as someone who loved many of the existing relationships between characters I'm a little heartbroken at some of the relationships wiped clean. Then again, reboots can be exciting! So IDK, it goes both ways.
THAT SAID, if there's one thing I can say about all of the new titles, is that the art is, in most cases, utterly gorgeous.
Note: I wrote this up a month ago but uh, it takes me time to post. I added background info where necessary so I'm pretty sure you can read this even if you never read any comics at all. So, with no further ado - choice scans from last month's:
Action Comics #1:
GUYS SUPERMAN IS WEARING JEANS WHAT THE WHAT. ALSO HE IS SUPREMELY COCKY. WHO IS THIS NEW SUPERMAN AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ALL-AMERICAN HERO? And the cops didn't even know for sure he was bulletproof!
Seriously, okay, I'm kind of digging both the outfit and the attitude? It's so unlike him, which is refreshing at the very least :D The story is that Superman isn't exactly working with the city authorities, who've asked for the assistance of Lex Luthor to take him out.
Superman, in this reiteration, where the only thing he'd need is a red shirt to belong on a Communist poster, apparently turns into a grown up Harry Potter when he's in civvies:
And the biggest surprise -- in this new rebooted universe, not only is he no longer married to Lois, not only does she not know his identity, but apparently he works for a rival paper to the Daily Planet. Given the pace of comic storytelling, I'm guessing none of the above facts are going to change until at least 2014.
Finally, two things that amused me:
Smallville shoutout, y/y?
and:
Loooooool Grant Morrison. I never would have known you as a kinky mofo if it weren't for Bandom, but I do, and "Superman in chains" just makes... so much sense now :D
Justice League of America:
Okay, so the JLA is the superteam of superheroes who watch over the world. From the watchtower they built on the moon. Because seven people are better than one. Things have not always been peachy between the team members, far from, but in the end, they -- usually -- managed to get over their differences to work together. My favorite issue of the old JLA was the one where Superman and Batman decided, as a show of trust, to reveal their secret identities to the other JLA members, and it was an entire issue of "HOLY SHIT YOU'RE MILLIONAIRE PLAYBOY BRUCE WAYNE?" and "YOU'RE COUNTRY BUMPKIN REPORTER CLARK KENT WHAT" and I loooooooooved it, oh, so much <3
And now, in the new JLA, we are not only in square one, we're in square zero:
We begin with Batman fighting a monster that gets slammed into by a green firetruck, ie, Batman getting his ass saved by Green Lantern:
GREEN LANTERN DIDN'T EVEN KNOW BATMAN WAS REAL :D :D :D UGH I LOVE IT.
LOL Green Lantern talks about himself in third person.
GL has shown up in Gotham to save the day. Batman cares. A lot.
LOL, "Note to self, Batman: Green Lantern can handle everything." Also: the point in every superhero's life where they discover that Batman is legit insane. YES, HE'S JUST A GUY IN A BAT SUIT OKAY, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.
Batman shows GL that he does have something at least up his armored sleeve, and tells him to shut up. Clearly this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship <3
So it turns out the monster planted some kind of alien computer on, idk, Earth, and Batman and GL reason that since it LOOKS alien it might have to do with that alien guy in Metropolis, Superman! "I've been researching him," Batman says darkly. "His power levels are dangerous." GL assures Batman (cockily!) that they won't be a problem for him, and flies them both to Metropolis in his super subtle glowing green jet.
GL traps Batman in a green cage to keep him safe (Bats is obviously pleased by this), and smirks: "I can handle this."
Which is when:
LOOK WHO'S BACK IN BIG BLUE TIGHTS :D Okay mostly I included this photo because Supes looks hot in it, ahem, moving on.
LET'S TALK ABOUT SOME LADIES:
Batwoman:
All right, so the main reason I was excited about this was because of Maggie Sawyer. Once upon a time there was an amazing comic book called Gotham Central about the Gotham Police Major Crimes Unit, of which Captain Maggie Sawyer was the head of.
Batwoman #1 begins with Batwoman saving a couple from a creepy water monster, and, according to their report to the police, promising she'd find their kidnapped kids and return them to them. Detective Sawyer can't promise them that, but:
She steps outside, and finds Kate Kane -- aka Batwoman -- lounging around outside, staring at the photo of Detective Renee Montoya, with whom she'd had a relationship, mounted on the police station wall, next to photos of other officers who'd fallen in duty.
They have a daaaaate :D Even though WHY IS RENEE DEAD WHY, I loved her. Although it's possible she's not dead, I don't actually know. So I'm happy for Kate and Maggie! I love Maggie. But Reneeee D: Also can someone please explain to me WHAT IS UP WITH KATE KANE'S ART WHAT THE FUCK, she looks so pale and disturbing -- is it just me who didn't remember her like this? Maybe I'm overreacting blah, I just didn't remember the eyeshadow being so... shadowy.
Anyway -- stuff happens in the comic, it's a bit of a blur, but 1) Batwoman has a sidekick! :D and 2) The writers were going very heavy on the femslash:
Sorry for the tiny font!
And this is from when they get back from their mission -- like I said, very heavy on the femslash. We have two girls in a room together so hey, let's get them naked:
Batwoman's daddy issues are revealed -- dad let her twin sister become an evil supervillain, you know the drill -- and the issue ends with Batman offering Batwoman some kind of proposition. I'm not sure where it's going, but I'm, for the moment, intrigued. (For the record, Batman and Batwoman aren't officially affiliated, though they've cooperated in the past; she's an independently wealthy woman who decided to hop on the Bat-wagon to become a superhero herself.)
Pretty art is pretty.
Batgirl:
Arrrrrgh no no no no no D:. Here is the story of Batgirl -- ETA, FUCK I just spent over an hour on tumblr looking at various pics of Barbara, that's how awesome she is -- okay. A brief history: Barbara Gordon was the daughter of Gotham Police Commissioner, Jim Gordon, and one day on Halloween, dressed as a female Batman, she kicked some ass and saved some people. She soon became Bargirl under Batman's mentorship, and stayed that until leaving for DC to work in politics and later become a librarian. In 1985, in one of the most influential Batman comic books, Alan Moore's The Killing Joke, the Joker shot her in the spinal cord to mess with her father, and left her paraplegic. Babs trained herself in a few new martial arts to make sure she could handle herself in a wheelchair but more importantly, as a super skilled computer hacker and excellent human being, she became Oracle, a hero unto herself, a go-to-person for all things tech, a mentor, the leader of her own superhero team (Birds of Prey), and all in all one of the best DCU characters all round.
Just, LOOK at how freaking awesome, ugh, I love her, and naturally she also snagged the hottest guy in the DCU because why wouldn't she, not to even MENTION the femslash.
So ANYWAY. After remaining in a wheelchair for the past 26 years, the relaunch has decided to miraculously make her walk again. Fail, DCU, so much fail, and you were doing SO WELL. I still love Babs, and now that it's done, I'm going to give them/her the benefit of doubt because I want to keep caring about her character and I do, but oh, why :(
So the new Batgirl #1 starts with her getting back in the game as Batgirl, and moving into a new place. I kind of enjoyed the relationship they wrote with her new roommate -- kind of gave me a Middleman vibe, IDK, there's potential for cuteness there:
And there was basically a single panel as Batgirl where I appreciated the humor:
But oh, Babs, you are awesome for so much more than your ability to ride motorcycles and kick things with your legs, and I really, really hope the rest of your story arc decides to showcase that :( Also what is up with you being unable to afford things :( you are a superhacker with mad skills and equipment, I find that difficult to believe :(
Birds of Prey:
Okay, so Birds of Prey is the all-girl superhero team that Barbara (Batgirl) led way back when. I admit, I'm not up to date on recent canon there, so I wasn't exactly sure how we arrived here, or why exactly Barbara is at odds with Dinah, aka Black Canary, aka Barbara's OTP for, like, everybody.
The new Birds of Prey #1 starts with a private investigator who's been following the team members, trying to discover their secret identities for whoever hired him. The POV here is Dinah's, and the most I can say about this is that I cheered for Barbara showing up and kept staring at how pretty they were:
Why so mad, girls :( Apparently because Dinah's wanted for murder or something idk :( what :(
PI dude thinks he's being discreet, and is surprised when Starling saves his ass from whatever weird robots these are that she and Black Canary have been fighting. I've never seen Starling before, but guys. I like her :D
Starling and Mr. Keen save Dinah:
Starling and Dinah reveal that he was not as subtle as he'd thought:
The comic ends with them taking him to an airport for refuge and a rather alarming shot of blood pouring out of all of his facial orifices. Which, let me tell you, black characters have not been faring well in many of the comics of the new DCU :( What is up, guys. At least he's not dead though, and otherwise I'm looking forward to the rest of this series.
Batman:
BATMAN. :D :D :D. So Batman is this dude, Bruce Wayne, you may have heard of him, oh ha ha I am hilarious let me just get to the gist. What follows below is basically a chronology of my reactions as I read the first half of Batman #1:
It starts with a narration of how Gothamites think of the city of Gotham, as Batman is shown battling all of Gotham's main supervillains and his arch-nemeses (with beautiful art, by the way, and freaking creepy redesigns for some of the characters) -- all but one, who is conspicuously missing: the Joker.
And this is me: WHAT WHAT WAIT WTF THEY'RE NOT REALLY -- I KNOW THIS IS A REBOOT BUT THE JOKER AND BATMAN AREN'T ACTUALLY GOING TO--
--COOPERATE OH MY GOD THEY'RE FIGHTING IN TANDEM WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WHAT
So they fight, and when the fight is over Batman talks to Commissioner Gordon and reveals to him that he had a man on the inside at Arkham Asylum who helped him discover the dirty guard at the place. Gordon comments on Batman and the Joker during the fight:
me: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT also I LOVE HIM AND BATMAN and also STILL WHAT THE FUCK, JOKER, WTF
And then, back in the batcave:
"So it's true..."
me: 1. LOLOLOL it's true, Bruce is a worse brooder than Angel 2. WHAT WHAT IN THE FUCKING BATCAVE BRUCE I KNEW YOU WERE INSANE BUT ARE YOU INSANE WHAT THE ACTUAL-- 3. .............................OH. IT'S DICK. I AM THE WORLD'S BIGGEST IDIOT, HELLO.
DIIIIIIIIIIICK I LOVE YOU HI I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS PANEL DEAR BATMAN #1 I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH
NO WAIT NOW I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE AHHHHHHHH BATBOYS ALL OF THE BATBOYS STANDING TOGETHER :D AND BANTERING :D AND BEING ARRANGED BY HEIGHT LOLOLOLOL :D :D :D SO HAHA, IT'S KIND OF CRAZY HOW HAPPY THIS PANEL MADE ME :D :D :D \\\o///
Short briefing for the uninitiated: so there on the left is Dick Grayson, aka the first Robin, whom Bruce adopted when he was a kid and whom Chris O'Donell played in the movies with Val Kilmer and George Clooney. Dick was Robin between the '40s and the '80s in real world time, a bright and happy acrobat despite the dire circumstances of being adopted by Bruce, who is not the most, uh, nurturing parent. When Dick was around college age he and Bruce had a falling out and Dick eventually dropped the mantle of Robin, Batman's sidekick, and instead became a hero in his own right: Nightwing, watching over Bludhaven, Gotham's sister-city, and leading the Teen Titans or the Titans, kind of a sidekick-version of the Justice League of America. Dick is the little black dress of the DC universe -- he is hot and friendly and a fucked up and lovable and okay, sometimes a douche, but I love him, I can't not <3333
On Dick's right, it's Bruce, the father figure -- figuratively and literally, as he's either legally adopted or biologically fathered all of these boys.
To his right, Tim Drake, aka Robin #3, who was a super intelligent fanboy of both Batman and Robin as a little kid and stalked both of them until he discovered their secret identities. Tim was convinced that Batman needed a Robin to function (on both a practical and emotional level) and so he became Robin himself. He started out a normal kid from a happy family, but being Batman's sidekick isn't exactly healthy in the long run, and Tim managed to see both his parents killed, his girlfriend killed, his best friends killed, and finally Bruce killed (or at least, they all thought he was dead). MIGHT TIM BE THE FANDOM WOOBIE? I THINK HE MIGHT. He's also super secretive and kind of crazy-paranoid -- Bruce trained him well -- but at least he has friends, and a big brother (Dick ♥) he looks up to, and oh, Tim, I love him so <3__<3.
Finally on the right is Damien, Bruce's biological son from Batman's enemy Ra's Al Ghul's daughter, Talia. Damien grew up with his mother, trained by assassins, and was only discovered as Bruce's long lost never-knew-he-existed son a couple of years ago (so probably months ago, in comic book time). While Bruce was missing-presumed-dead, Dick donned the cloak of Batman and Damien became Robin, mostly by being a lethally trained brat who's almost impossible to get rid of, let alone when you feel responsible for him for being Bruce's son.
And that's -- well, okay, about half the batfamily, maybe even less, but it's so rare seeing them all in the same frame instead of off having separately angsty adventures in their own separate titles that it makes me happy :D
A few more panels just because ugh gorgeous art:
Ugh, gorgeous art. And:
Seriously, damn, but I love these colors.
ETA: LOLOL BRUCE WAYNE. Here is the first page of Detective Comics #2:
The best business meetings are shirtless sweaty business meeting! I feel like this whole page was written as porn foreplay and all of a sudden 1940's Bruce Wayne pops up with his terrible banter.
Next up:
Batman & Robin:
Until now, Batman & Robin was a series that told the story of Dick-as-Batman trying to whip Damien-as-Robin into shape, learning to trust him, them learning to work as a team. Now that Bruce is back, he's getting to know his son for the first time. By taking him on a late night field trip to... the place where his own parents were killed. BRUCE WAYNE: BEST DAD EVER.
Looool at Bruce skulking around at night talking to figurines of his father's torso. BE MORE UNHINGED. Also I enjoy the bongs. It's like Bruce's subconscious is craving them.
Also LOL at Damien's instant alertness. Like father, like son.
Bruce you are such a creep <3
Damien is still a brat, but honestly, when Bruce is acting like this, I can't blame him.
Aw, okay, I enjoyed the "boat" exchange for reals.
The issue -- I don't even remember what it was about, man, there must have been bad guys, and Damien was impulsive like always -- ends with:
Which, okay, more stuff like this and I'll actually be interested in Bruce and Damien's relationship <3 I do kind of love the fact that while he's Bruce's son, Dick's the one he managed to win over, or at least win over his trust. (Tim, by the way, still hates his guys.)
ETA: Since I have read issue #2 since composing this, let me just add a few more moments of Bruce Wayne, Learning To Be a Father:
Yes, Bruce. Talia was a terrible mother, what with all that indoctrination and fighting. God I love Alfred though.
See Bruce is a MUCH better father lol:
Heee Alfred, and also "I'm a billionaire, Damien, not a trillionaire." Sigh, kids these days.
Batwing:
Okay, I have no idea who Batwing was up until now, and honestly I'm still kind of iffy about the story because so far it's just been super gore-y and almost everyone dies D: But the art is gorgeous, so here's a sample:
Titans Annual #1:
Haha, okay, technically this isn't part of the new AU and I barely even understood the context as I was reading it, but regardless of that, I'm just posting this scan because it cracked me up:
Nightwing:
DICK NO WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOUR FAAAAACE UGH THIS ART AND WHY WHY WHY IS YOUR COSTUME RED INSTEAD OF BLUE, WHY. ALSO WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE A BLACK 19TH CENTURY NECKTIE ON. WHAT IS THIS.
Okay, I was really disappointed by Nightwing, because Diiiiiick I love him, why make his comic boring? On the plus side, at least his characterization is consistent with his inability to stop flirting for a moment /o\
Then again, I can't blame him for being shallow when the only thing I think of watching these panels is "mmm Dick stretching. mmm Dick eating cereal. mmm Dick bending. mmm biceps."
Watching Dick in civvies is an exercise in "Dialogue? What Dialogue?" (also lol Dick what are your dirty old socks.)
Superboy:
And now we've arrived at Superboy, aka an exercise in HOW TO BREAK MY HEART. Kon. Connor Kent, aka Kon-El, aka Superboy, was the lovechild lab-grown DNA-clone of Lex Luthor and Clark Kent, because, I mean. COMICS CANON <3. His powers are slightly different and slightly weaker than Superman's (what with being half-human), and he became Superman's sidekick early on, and was sent to Smallville to live with Clark's parents and go to Smallville High, flying off to Titans Tower in the weekends to be a teen superhero with the rest of the sidekicks. His best friends were Tim (Robin), Cassie (Wonder Girl) and Bart (Kid Flash), who helped him through the traumatic discovery that his dad was a supervillain, who had pretty severe breakdowns when he died and who were overjoyed when he came back. They are family, they are a team, and apparently now their entire history has been erased D:
Superboy #1 starts off with Kon, back in the lab, waaaaay back in the beginning. A new beginning.
Though he has self-awareness and has been studying the scientists studying him for the past few months, they don't realize that he's sentient in any way, and decide to pull the plug on him. His powers activate in self defense and the blast ends up killing a bunch of the scientists. We skip forward a month to Kon as the new kid in Smallville High, walking home a girl from school - Rose Wilson.
...THERE SEEMS TO BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH KON.
It turns out that the entire thing was a virtual reality scenario, and Kon is still under lock and key. Rose is working ith the scientists and plays characters in scenarios they test him with. I AM BASICALLY INCLUDING THIS SCAN JUST BECAUSE SHE CALLS HERSELF A MARY SUE:
(Rose is actually another character we know - she's the daughter of a supervillain, a trained killer herself, who defected from the dark side and joined the Teen Titans in, well, all previous canons up to now.)
The scientists only know that Kon's alien DNA was taken from Superman, but don't know who the human donor was -- they can only suspect, due to Kon's behavior in the VR scenarios, that it's a "deeply pathological, megalomaniac narcissist".
Aaaaaaaaand that's basically it! The issue ends with some scientist saying he wants to use Kon for something, and Kon silently agreeing to cooperate if it's what'll get him free. And it'll have something to do with the Teen Titans.
THE POINT IS. THE POINT IS. I want to read about Kon, okay, I'm totally fine with reading about this as an AU, but I NEED KON AND THE TITANS TO HAVE GROWN UP AS TEENS TOGETHER AND NOW THEY HAVEN'T AND IT BREAKS MY HEART.
But it breaks my heart the most when I read the new first issue of Teen Titans.
Teen Titans:
Quick intro: Teen Titans USED to be a team of teenage superheros who met in Titans Tower every weekend to hang out, support each other, and save the world. They were led by Robin (Tim) or Wonder Girl (Cassie), and at its heart included those two plus Superboy (Kon) and Kid Flash (Bart). They had some rough times, but they got through them together. They were family - they were more than family - and they shaped each other, growing up.
........all have which has now been erased. STARTING OVER, the issue begins with Bart (Kid Flash) trying to help some firefighters control a fire, after being his own hyper, flashy self in front of the newscasters:
It does not exactly go as planned... /o\:
Back in the batcave, or in one of Tim's safehouses, Tim is monitoring a million news channels and spy equipment (Batman & sons are the world's biggest stalkers), listening to the growing complaints about undisciplined teenage so-called heroes who do more harm than good.
(Text is not so important, sorry for size. Mostly I just find Tim absurdly hot most of the time, still, especially when he's in detective mode, and wanted to share that.)
Tim decides that, though he was hoping to avoid it, it's time to act.
APPARENTLY IT'S ALSO TIME TO GET WINGS. TIM YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS. Not that the cape was any LESS ridiculous when you really think about it, but still /o\ I do, however, appreciate him going back to a simple domino mask instead of a full face helmet. Hi Tim, I like your face.
So I'm not sure what Tim's plan is, but it involves rounding up some teen superheroes who previously didn't know one another, beginning with a girl who was just pulled over by a cop driving down the coast in California. She is dressed like a valley girl which distresses me greatly because Cassie was so fucking awesome with her tank top and jeans, and here she flirts with the officer who pulled her over and cowers and her lip starts wobbling and I was like whyyy whyyyyyyyy and then the officer tried to kill her and then this happened:
First of all, LOL TIM "My name is Red Robin, and I need you to come with me", have you been reading too many comic books what is wrong with you /o\ also I am still a little disturbed by Cassie the oversexualized teenager, I mean I know this is a comic book but still.
Anyway Tim keeps pushing and pushing and trying to get her to admit who she is and they're attacked by bad guys and she finally snaps:
Cassie *___*. Okay I still don't know how exactly they're characterizing her here, and I still love the old costume but that was kind of awesome.
To they fight together a bit:
So Tim is (continuously!) impressed! And also a patronizing douchebag! But lol at the homeschool gag. I guess this means that in this universe, Tim didn't go to a public high school and have to keep his superhero identity from his friends... he was probably brought up as Tim Wayne, adopted by eccentric billionaire Bruce Wayne, social recluse.
Poor Cass. The most I can hope for here is to see their friendships begin to form and watch them grow into a team... I hope they write it well.
The issue ends with this:
I guess the scientists are preparing to release Superboy into the wild? Or maybe use him as a weapon against the others? I don't know, but I'm looking forward to seeing him defect to the Teen Titans. And also for him to turn out to NOT BE EVIL.
Catwoman:
I don't have much to say about this issue except that oh hey, this is how superheroes have sex with their costumes on:
Okay, last two:
Red Hood and the Outlaws
HOLY SHIT Roy Harper what has HAPPENED to you. I have no idea where this is picking off from but wow.
Okay, for the new: This comic is not even about Roy Harper, or so I thought. Roy was Speedy, the teenage sidekick of Green Arrow and member of the 80s era Teen Titans, who later grew up to become Red Arrow (no special powers, just great aim with a crossbow.) He has a history of drug addiction (heroin?) and got a girl pregnant and he got cleaned up and became a dedicated young, soon single, father to Lian, his daughter that DC Comics decided to kill her (RAGE). All I know is that he was part of the Justice League for a while and presume he left after losing his daughter, but that's all I know... and now he is apparently captive somewhere. And--
...rescued by our POV character, JASON TODD. O__O.
I have to say, I was not interested in this comic at all -- no Jason plots have ever interested me in the past -- but I am definitely intrigued by this, and am finally, after all this time, liking Jason! HUH.
On Jason: Jason was the second Robin, who Bruce picked up from the streets and trained and then watched be killed by the Joker. Except that YEARS AND YEARS LATER (about 20 years in real world time and probably 4-5 years in DCU time) it turned out that he wasn't dead! He returned as a villain and has a love/hate (mostly hate) relationship with the rest of the Batfamily and is now a kind of in-between figure, fighting for good but with methods Bruce doesn't approve of (he doesn't mind killing). He has tried to kill all members of the Batfamily in the past. It's kinda great.
Breaking Roy out of whatever jail he's in, Jason is joined by Starfire, which holy shit:
First off let me just say that I would read ALL OF THE BANDOM AUS where Brendon was given her backstory here, ahem. That said it is truly disgusting what has happened to Kory (Starfire) here, which we will see momentarily. First some cute banter:
IDK they are kind of charming me here! Especially since Roy used to be Dick's best friend and Dick is Jason's adopted older brother who Jason tried to kill.
Anyway. So Jason takes Roy off to his secret tropical island for some weeks off to recuperate. Starfire is there too. Other than looking like she belongs on a Playboy, Kory has a casual attitude towards sex -- which, awesome, yay -- but she ALSO, apparently in this universe, hardly differentiates between humans (she's an alien) and has the attention span and memory of a fly, which is INCREDIBLY SKEEVY wtf D:.
SEE ugh wtf. On the other hand I enjoy Roy and Jason's leaning up against one another, like, what, is there not enough room to spread out on your private island beach?
Kory propositions Roy:
I just, it is so WRONG that she can't remember all of the others -- she was a member of the Titans too, they were her team, her family, she had serious relationships with some of them. What. The fuck. (And Roy you KNOW her you are disgusting. Unless their entire history has been rewritten too, which is entirely possible, yet still.)
So there is that, which is why I'm saving Wonder Woman for last, so we can at least finish with some awesome girl stuff. But first let's have another pretty boy:
Aquaman:
So let's talk about Aquaman!
I had never read Aquaman before. I knew him only on the fringes of my DC consciousness, but figured a reboot to issue #1 might be a good place to start, and Glen Weldon from pop Culture Happy Hour is a huge Aquaman fanboy so there's that, so I'll give it a shot.
It took a full single page for the art to completely win me over:
...so pretty *___*
Seriously so pretty *___* I'm sorry I hate to be all googly eyed for this golden god but he is so SHINY look at his BREASTPLATE and also panel FOUR *__*. I have no idea why they're not shooting at his face, possibly they are too blinded by his beauty to aim.
So the issue starts with those first few pages about Aquaman stopping these two petty criminals in the middle of the street. But my favorite thing about this comic was that it was really just a prolonged diner scene where everybody gossips about Aquaman, shocked to see him operating above ground, and about how he is apparently pegged as the loser superhero.
LOL he looks so insulted.
Random dude joining the table to grill him:
Awww bb you are Glen Weldon's favorite superhero, that counts for something. Also I understand that Entourage made a buck off of you. You matter.
I don't know much of his mythology yet - he's the son of a human and some kind of Guardian of the Ocean (maybe a Greek god?) and he lives in Atlantis, and I was less thrilled with the sweeping romance-novel-cover kiss the issue ended with of him and his girlfriend, but I had enough fun reading this to keep going.
Supergirl:
HOW MUCH did I love the art in this issue and also KARA:
*_______________*
This issue was just one looooooooong exposition scene where nothing happened, but aw Kara. Kara was Kal-El (Superman's) older cousin who was babysitting him as a baby and about to graduate, and all of a sudden she wakes up on Earth, in Russia, with strange powers and strength she wasn't used to. The US sends soldiers to fight her and find out who she is, there is some Russia-handling-fail, and then Clark shows up to save the day, stop the fighting, and figure out who the hell this girl who is wearing his embalm is.
He is kind of a little cocky about it and Kara is scared and alone and she has something to say about that:
I cheated, these two scans are from issue #2, but that's where the good stuff starts happening :D
Also HEY LOOKIT:
Basically it is awesome so be reading comics and suddenly find an ad for a Panic song :D Also I might talk about it more at some point but the lyrics video for Panic's Batman song, with footage from the game, is basically the MOST HILARIOUS THING IN THE UNIVERSE:
Click to view
CATWOMAN PUTS PICS OF PANIC ON HER PHONE. BATMAN HAS PANIC ON HIS HOLO-BAT-NAVIGATOR. I just. LOL.
And finally:
Wonder Woman:
I've only ever read Wonder Woman as part of the Justice League, never in her own book, so I was really looking forward to this. I was not thrilled by the Cartoon Network-like style of the cover art, until I started reading the issue itself. After a monologue by whom I assume will be the bad guy, we cut to this:
SO GORGEOUS. There's so little dialogue in this book, and so much visual motion and fluidity and beautiful storytelling by the art itself.
So the scythe person lops off the horses' heads, and centaurs grow out of them in a pretty gory scene, and this this blue dude shows up at the farm girl -- Zola-- 's house and tells her she needs to get out of there. We're in Zola's POV, so we basically know as much as she does:
They're attacked, and blue dude gets shot in the abdomen with an arrow, and as the evil centaurs charge he tosses Zola a key which transports her to...
Will you look at that *______________*.
They're transported back to the farm, where Wonder Woman is awesome for a bit:
GUYS I LIKE THIS. Ugh the sunrise and Zola and Diana, I am getting SUCH a Xena and Gabrielle vibe from this whole thing <3.
Diana kills the evil centaurs and finds the injured blue dude, who turns out to be Hermes. And Hermes has a warning, and an -- well, an annunciation, if you will:
And there we are! COMICS. All of these are new series, so I don't know where they're going or whether I'll keep reading. But if you want recs for old comic books/storylines, info on characters or relationships, or fic recs (of which there are a lot), let me know and I will do my best to help you out :D
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