Fic: Welcome to My Life
Title: Welcome to My Life
Disclaimer: I don't own em and don't make any money off of em.
Warnings: The tiniest bit of language.
Word Count: 1321
Spoilers: through Funked
Rating: PG
Summary: Who knew that winning nationals could be so disappointing?
A/N: Totalgleekgirl totally hijacked my brain tonight with her awesome prompt on the glee angst meme. So I completely stayed up just to write this.
No one was really surprised when the Cheerios won nationals. Kurt was over the moon when they took the stage to accept the gigantic trophy. Even Brittany shrieking in his ear couldn't damper his mood.
He had to admit that it felt really good to be such an important part of the cheerios winning nationals. It had been hard to learn all that French and terrifying to perform it, but in the end it Kurt knew that he didn't really mind all the work. He had the same winning high that he first experienced when he kicked the winning field goal back in the fall.
For at least an hour he rode that high as they jumped around on stage and Coach Sylvester gave interviews to the press. He really belonged in this group and they were all glad that he was there. For the first time in his life Kurt Hummel felt like he was walking on air. Nothing could touch him.
But it didn't take long for him to come crashing back down to the ground. When they exited the stage all the other cheerios were greeted by friends and loved ones. They were all pulled into the arms of their families and celebrated with the people that they cared about.
For a few moments Kurt looked around as if his dad would magically appear. But his dad wasn't going to show up. There was no Mercedes, no Tina or Artie or anyone. No one who was there to congratulate him and tell him how fantastic he had been. It was after looking at them all for a minute that Kurt came crashing down to the ground. He turned slightly so that he didn't have to look at the happy families and wrapped his arms around his stomach. He just wants to go back to the hotel so that he doesn't have to see all this. So he doesn't have to feel.
He tried to tell himself that it didn't matter. That he was being a baby for feeling like he needed someone who was just there for him. He had never expected anyone to be there before, why should he start now? It was just a stupid competition anyway. But deep down Kurt knew that he was lying to himself and it really did matter. And he really did want someone there with him. He wanted it more than he had wanted anything else in the world.
Suddenly Becky appeared in front of him. “Hi Kurt. Where's your family?” she smiled widely at him as she clutched at his hand. Kurt forced himself to smile back. The last thing that he wanted to do was hurt sweet Becky's feelings.
“My dad couldn't come Becky.” Kurt had to stop and clear his throat. It was more painful than he could have ever believed to say those words. Becky frowned and hugged him tightly.
“You can share my family of you want.” Becky grinned back up at Kurt. “My mom and dad really like new people.”
Her simple offer brought tears to Kurt's eyes. “That's really sweet Becky, but you should spend time with your parents. I'll be fine, I promise.” with one last hug Becky gave him a wave and bounced back over to her parents.
Remembering that Coach Sylvester's number one rule was that there is no crying in cheerleading, Kurt took a couple of deep breaths and pulled back the tears. He jerked his posture straight and tossed his bangs out of his eyes. He plastered a haughty smile on his face and turned. He didn't need anyone, he was a winner.
He saw Coach nod at him in approval. Somehow that made everything worse. He stood off to the side and thanked people when they would congratulate him on his performance. Finally they loaded back onto the bus and headed back to the hotel. The entire ride back Kurt sat stiffly in his seat, unwilling to let anyone see his true feelings. He had applied his stiffest mask and knew that there was nothing that could make it break.
It was only after locking the door to his room that Kurt finally allowed his mask to crumple. For a few moments he contemplated calling his dad, but he knew that he would never do that. It was after midnight and his dad had to be at the garage by six the next morning. Instead he carefully removed his uniform and busied himself with his special post workout skincare routine. He knew that there was nothing else that could distract him at a time like this.
The loud banging at his door made Kurt jump in fright before composing himself and crossing the room to throw it open. Brit and Santana were standing there holding a six pack of diet coke. Without a word the two girls entered the room and Kurt closed the door behind them.
“Look Kurt.” started Santana. “We saw you earlier so we don't want any of your shit about how fine you are or anything. We just want to keep you from like drowning in your despair or whatever.”
Strangely enough Kurt really did appreciate Santana's usual take no prisoners attitude. It helped to know that no matter what the girl would never pity him. So he just nodded and faced the two girls on the bed. Santana popped open a can of coke and handed it over while Brittany flipped the TV on and found The Little Mermaid playing. She clapped happily and completely focused on the movie.
“Kurt!” she squealed excitedly. She jumped up and pulled him over to the bed. “Come watch with me.” Kurt settled there on the bed next to Brit and let her cuddle into his side. Her warm, bubbly presence soothed him in a way that he couldn't explain.
For a while they just sat there and watched the movie while Kurt braided Brittany's hair. Santana was obviously sexting someone, but for once it didn't really bother Kurt. He was just happy that he wasn't alone.
They were in the middle of watching Beauty in the Beast when they all fell asleep piled together on the bed. They woke then next morning to Coach screaming into her bull horn that any looser that wasn't on the bus in exactly 45 minutes could walk back to Lima. And she wasn't kidding. Last year she had left three cheerleaders behind.
The three of them climbed onto the bus with ten minutes to spare and claimed the long seat across the back so that they could all sit together. Kurt stowed their bags in the overhead compartment and sat back down between the two girls. Brittany was entertaining herself by unraveling a thread along the bottom of her seat.
Kurt turned to Santana. “I just wanted to say thanks for last night and all. It just meant a lot to me. So thanks.”
“Don't mention it.” said Santana as she looked over. “And I really mean that I never want to hear you mention it again. Ever.”
Quickly nodding his agreement Kurt leaned back against the back of his seat as Brittany snuggled into his side. The two cheerleaders might not be exactly the support that he would have chosen, but he had to admit that they were really good friends. Even if he could never really say it out loud. Who knew what Santana would do to him if she heard him.
Disclaimer: I don't own em and don't make any money off of em.
Warnings: The tiniest bit of language.
Word Count: 1321
Spoilers: through Funked
Rating: PG
Summary: Who knew that winning nationals could be so disappointing?
A/N: Totalgleekgirl totally hijacked my brain tonight with her awesome prompt on the glee angst meme. So I completely stayed up just to write this.
No one was really surprised when the Cheerios won nationals. Kurt was over the moon when they took the stage to accept the gigantic trophy. Even Brittany shrieking in his ear couldn't damper his mood.
He had to admit that it felt really good to be such an important part of the cheerios winning nationals. It had been hard to learn all that French and terrifying to perform it, but in the end it Kurt knew that he didn't really mind all the work. He had the same winning high that he first experienced when he kicked the winning field goal back in the fall.
For at least an hour he rode that high as they jumped around on stage and Coach Sylvester gave interviews to the press. He really belonged in this group and they were all glad that he was there. For the first time in his life Kurt Hummel felt like he was walking on air. Nothing could touch him.
But it didn't take long for him to come crashing back down to the ground. When they exited the stage all the other cheerios were greeted by friends and loved ones. They were all pulled into the arms of their families and celebrated with the people that they cared about.
For a few moments Kurt looked around as if his dad would magically appear. But his dad wasn't going to show up. There was no Mercedes, no Tina or Artie or anyone. No one who was there to congratulate him and tell him how fantastic he had been. It was after looking at them all for a minute that Kurt came crashing down to the ground. He turned slightly so that he didn't have to look at the happy families and wrapped his arms around his stomach. He just wants to go back to the hotel so that he doesn't have to see all this. So he doesn't have to feel.
He tried to tell himself that it didn't matter. That he was being a baby for feeling like he needed someone who was just there for him. He had never expected anyone to be there before, why should he start now? It was just a stupid competition anyway. But deep down Kurt knew that he was lying to himself and it really did matter. And he really did want someone there with him. He wanted it more than he had wanted anything else in the world.
Suddenly Becky appeared in front of him. “Hi Kurt. Where's your family?” she smiled widely at him as she clutched at his hand. Kurt forced himself to smile back. The last thing that he wanted to do was hurt sweet Becky's feelings.
“My dad couldn't come Becky.” Kurt had to stop and clear his throat. It was more painful than he could have ever believed to say those words. Becky frowned and hugged him tightly.
“You can share my family of you want.” Becky grinned back up at Kurt. “My mom and dad really like new people.”
Her simple offer brought tears to Kurt's eyes. “That's really sweet Becky, but you should spend time with your parents. I'll be fine, I promise.” with one last hug Becky gave him a wave and bounced back over to her parents.
Remembering that Coach Sylvester's number one rule was that there is no crying in cheerleading, Kurt took a couple of deep breaths and pulled back the tears. He jerked his posture straight and tossed his bangs out of his eyes. He plastered a haughty smile on his face and turned. He didn't need anyone, he was a winner.
He saw Coach nod at him in approval. Somehow that made everything worse. He stood off to the side and thanked people when they would congratulate him on his performance. Finally they loaded back onto the bus and headed back to the hotel. The entire ride back Kurt sat stiffly in his seat, unwilling to let anyone see his true feelings. He had applied his stiffest mask and knew that there was nothing that could make it break.
It was only after locking the door to his room that Kurt finally allowed his mask to crumple. For a few moments he contemplated calling his dad, but he knew that he would never do that. It was after midnight and his dad had to be at the garage by six the next morning. Instead he carefully removed his uniform and busied himself with his special post workout skincare routine. He knew that there was nothing else that could distract him at a time like this.
The loud banging at his door made Kurt jump in fright before composing himself and crossing the room to throw it open. Brit and Santana were standing there holding a six pack of diet coke. Without a word the two girls entered the room and Kurt closed the door behind them.
“Look Kurt.” started Santana. “We saw you earlier so we don't want any of your shit about how fine you are or anything. We just want to keep you from like drowning in your despair or whatever.”
Strangely enough Kurt really did appreciate Santana's usual take no prisoners attitude. It helped to know that no matter what the girl would never pity him. So he just nodded and faced the two girls on the bed. Santana popped open a can of coke and handed it over while Brittany flipped the TV on and found The Little Mermaid playing. She clapped happily and completely focused on the movie.
“Kurt!” she squealed excitedly. She jumped up and pulled him over to the bed. “Come watch with me.” Kurt settled there on the bed next to Brit and let her cuddle into his side. Her warm, bubbly presence soothed him in a way that he couldn't explain.
For a while they just sat there and watched the movie while Kurt braided Brittany's hair. Santana was obviously sexting someone, but for once it didn't really bother Kurt. He was just happy that he wasn't alone.
They were in the middle of watching Beauty in the Beast when they all fell asleep piled together on the bed. They woke then next morning to Coach screaming into her bull horn that any looser that wasn't on the bus in exactly 45 minutes could walk back to Lima. And she wasn't kidding. Last year she had left three cheerleaders behind.
The three of them climbed onto the bus with ten minutes to spare and claimed the long seat across the back so that they could all sit together. Kurt stowed their bags in the overhead compartment and sat back down between the two girls. Brittany was entertaining herself by unraveling a thread along the bottom of her seat.
Kurt turned to Santana. “I just wanted to say thanks for last night and all. It just meant a lot to me. So thanks.”
“Don't mention it.” said Santana as she looked over. “And I really mean that I never want to hear you mention it again. Ever.”
Quickly nodding his agreement Kurt leaned back against the back of his seat as Brittany snuggled into his side. The two cheerleaders might not be exactly the support that he would have chosen, but he had to admit that they were really good friends. Even if he could never really say it out loud. Who knew what Santana would do to him if she heard him.