omg i really am becoming one of those 'posts-every-day' people
IT'S MEME DAY BECAUSE I'M HOME because I sort of fainted in a manly way this morning and it was weird but considering I almost fell down the stairs my mom was like "OKAY GET BACK IN BED, JESUS."
ANYWAY, TWO MEMES! I sort of skipped yesterday's Month of Love because I was excited about scoring a Columbia interview, BUT.
Day 03 - Your favorite television program
Spongebob is a show I know most people loathe, but to me it's so damn funny it hurts, sometimes. I know the entire episode 'Salty Spitoon' line by line, and you all shut the fuck up because Chris Pine likes it too and he loves 'Sailor's Mouth.' SO.
Click to viewAlso, The Office, Project Rungay, and Archer.
Day 04 - Your favorite book
Day 05 - Your favorite quote
Day 06 - Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 07 - A photo that makes you happy
Day 08 - A photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 09 - A photo you took
Day 10 - A photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11 - A photo of you taken recently
Day 12 - Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 13 - A fictional book
Day 14 - A non-fictional book
Day 15 - A fanfic
Day 16 - A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 - An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 - Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 - A talent of yours
Day 20 - A hobby of yours
Day 21 - A recipe
Day 22 - A website
Day 23 - A YouTube video
Day 24 - Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 - Your Day, in great detail
Day 26 - Your week, in great detail
Day 27 - This month, in great detail
Day 28 - This year, in great detail
Day 29 - Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 Days
Day 30 - Whatever tickles your fancy
Next, there's that 7 facts meme that I was tagged by royal_chandler, who recently proposed and that's A COOL STORY, BRO.
1. I do stand up comedy, now. This past weekend was my second time doing it, and tomorrow night will be my third. My head never gets nervous about it, but my body does, and I end up shaking like a fiend every time I'm on stage, but I love it. I don't mind people laughing at me at all, because I know I'm goofy and weird. It's a different experience, though, because most people would say I'm funny in context during discussions and conversations. Telling straight-up story jokes is hard, since, being in school, I have to keep them completely clean and relatable.
2. I had cancer when I was thirteen. This is the beginning of my fifth year in remission, and I'm nervous and excited and I still can't really wrap my head around it. I'm part of an oncology study, however, which means I still need to go back every year and do all sorts of tests to see what's happening.
I wish people would ask about it, more. Yes, thinking about it is exhausting, but I'm trying to accept that it happened and because it happened, I am who I am. If it gets brushed under the carpet, I figure any feelings I have towards it will be angry and confused and misplaced.
3. I'm a Christian, but that's messy and confusing and I kind of love it. Religious people have such a stereotype I find hilarious and sad and true, because we're supposed to follow the Bible like Puritans and hate homosexuals and not cut our hair and never get tattoos or piercings and go to church and pray to baby Jesus and thank him for saving our sins. So far, I do just about none of those things. Everyone goes through doubt and shit and I almost don't like the fact that I've always been a Christian, considering my father is a preacher and we've been to church our entire lives, because I so desperately want that life-changing big moment where I feel loved and saved and forgiven. But it's okay, because I don't need a life-changing 360. I think I've come to terms with the idea that it's okay to sometimes like girls and to have sex before marriage and to occasionally toke up (even though it's bad, I know), because Jesus loves everyone, damnit, and I do, too.
4. I sleep best when the room is freezing, so I keep the airconditioner on fan and pile blankets on the bed and curl up around a pillow. I also love it as dark as it can get, because I like feeling swallowed and intangible in pitch black.
5. I hear and read and touch in color. It's called synesthesia, and I forget what the type is exactly, but I didn't know it had a name or that not everybody experiences it until I took Psychology last semester. I figured everyone sees the letter A as a shade just a touch lighter than marigold, or that the number 4 is squeaky green. I don't consciously think about it, so when I'm asked to describe it's very, very strange. When I hear someone's name or a specific place, I see flashes of color, but it's not like, "WHAT COLOR IS MY NAME?" and boom, I can tell you. A hug from my dad is a rush of thick, darkest green, whereas the sound of the one girl's laughter is a shimmery teal. Now, y'all can kiss my ass if you say "OMG LIKE THAT CHARACTER ON HEROES" because I couldn't care less if it's some superpower or whatever. The only thing it helps me with is remembering number sequences, and I think that's why I did so well in algebra.
6. I so desperately get crushes on everyone, it's ridiculous. If you hold the door open for someone or say 'thank you' or smile back or trip up the stairs or wave with one finger, or laugh unabashedly or draw with crayons or hug like you mean it or peek beneath your eyelashes or chew with your mouth open or accidentally mismatch socks or genuinely ask me if I'm all right or are Karl Urban or awkwardly make a joke that isn't actually funny or text me back or drink with your pinkie out or bag my groceries or play Apples to Apples or make fun of popular culture or pout when you're confused or offer to beat someone up for me or text me with breakfast innuendos or like my status on Facebook or post about your sex life or let me flirt with your little brother who's at least 10 states away or comment on a silly random post or share music or like pb and j or are Karl Urban.
I will have a crush on you.
7. All that being said, I've never had a relationship. I get asked why or have so many guy friends or so many girls tell me they'd date me in a heartbeat or marry me or whatever, but maybe I'm unapproachable or untouchable or maybe I'm afraid. I don't think I'd have trouble committing, by maybe I fear success. I'd just really like to stop wondering and feeling it's my fault or like I'm not good enough or whatever, so I can stop spending some days with my head down and my eyes prickling and my chest aching and scratching my palms against my jeans because no one wants to hold them.
Or maybe no one wants me like that and if not, that's okay, I guess.
I tag anyone who wants to do this.