(no subject)
Haven't seen yinz in a while. :]
I have most definitely fallen out of the livejournal world... its weird. Nevertheless, I always come back when feeling a little weary of the world...
Does/did anyone else at my age feel like adulthood was coming way to rapidly to possibly be comfortable with it? Seriously, maybe it's because I'm actually working hard this year and I'm seeing my future in a much clearer light, but I am way not prepared for any of that. Responsiblity + Maria = Disaster. It's really just not a good idea to mix those two things together. I have two outlooks for my future... Ready.... Set...... GO!
Future One
I go to grad school directly out of undergrad.
The only grad school that will ever accept me will most likely be Mormon U.
The only way I'll stay above the poverty line in research will be to study Industrial/Organizational Psychology... (vomit)
So I will be....... the NEXT MORMON I/O PSYCHOLOGIST!! WOOT!
ok, not that terrible... but here's....
Future Two
I take a year off after undergrad.
I smoke a lot of weed during that year.
I never go to grad school.
I work in an amusement park for the rest of my life.
So I will be....... the NEXT DRUGGED-OUT AMUSEMENT PARK EMPLOYEE!! WOOT!
Oi. for serious I am moderately frightened of both of these outcomes. I'm also, and this is going to sound kind of bad, kind of afraid of ending up like my parents. Don't get me wrong, they're very successful, have a bunch of stuff they wanted, whatever. The thing of it is, we all want to do better than their parents did. It makes sense, I mean, we grew up with them, saw the good things and the bad things, and would like to fix the bad things once we got older. But I'm deathly afraid of not doing that. Just not moving up at all. I guess capitalism just really got to me or something, but I think it might have to do with living in a really ghetto apartment....
Anywho
The only other thing I'm concerned about right now is the fact that if i do succeed in going to grad school to become a researcher, which is definitely the goal right now as I feel as though I'd actually be happy with it, would I mind the teaching? I never really thought about the fact that when youre a researcher, you're also ultimately a professor. Number one problem with that: I will never have been out of the academic world my entire life. That's just kind of weird. Number two reason: I always said i never wanted to become a teacher, of any kind. Watching my teachers, and my parents especially, it absolutely never appealed to me. Given, teaching in college is a little different, but it's still something I don't think I would ever be comfortable with.
Ok. Sorry. If you even read all of that. I feel better now though.
(I'm so an emotional bulimic, binge on holding it all in, then purge on livejournal)
(Ok.. that was really inappropriate, but I have 6 classes (cough 2 cough) that discuss body image issues a lot. It's always at the forefront of my mind. Kind of annoying.)
(K. Seriously leaving now.)
I have most definitely fallen out of the livejournal world... its weird. Nevertheless, I always come back when feeling a little weary of the world...
Does/did anyone else at my age feel like adulthood was coming way to rapidly to possibly be comfortable with it? Seriously, maybe it's because I'm actually working hard this year and I'm seeing my future in a much clearer light, but I am way not prepared for any of that. Responsiblity + Maria = Disaster. It's really just not a good idea to mix those two things together. I have two outlooks for my future... Ready.... Set...... GO!
Future One
I go to grad school directly out of undergrad.
The only grad school that will ever accept me will most likely be Mormon U.
The only way I'll stay above the poverty line in research will be to study Industrial/Organizational Psychology... (vomit)
So I will be....... the NEXT MORMON I/O PSYCHOLOGIST!! WOOT!
ok, not that terrible... but here's....
Future Two
I take a year off after undergrad.
I smoke a lot of weed during that year.
I never go to grad school.
I work in an amusement park for the rest of my life.
So I will be....... the NEXT DRUGGED-OUT AMUSEMENT PARK EMPLOYEE!! WOOT!
Oi. for serious I am moderately frightened of both of these outcomes. I'm also, and this is going to sound kind of bad, kind of afraid of ending up like my parents. Don't get me wrong, they're very successful, have a bunch of stuff they wanted, whatever. The thing of it is, we all want to do better than their parents did. It makes sense, I mean, we grew up with them, saw the good things and the bad things, and would like to fix the bad things once we got older. But I'm deathly afraid of not doing that. Just not moving up at all. I guess capitalism just really got to me or something, but I think it might have to do with living in a really ghetto apartment....
Anywho
The only other thing I'm concerned about right now is the fact that if i do succeed in going to grad school to become a researcher, which is definitely the goal right now as I feel as though I'd actually be happy with it, would I mind the teaching? I never really thought about the fact that when youre a researcher, you're also ultimately a professor. Number one problem with that: I will never have been out of the academic world my entire life. That's just kind of weird. Number two reason: I always said i never wanted to become a teacher, of any kind. Watching my teachers, and my parents especially, it absolutely never appealed to me. Given, teaching in college is a little different, but it's still something I don't think I would ever be comfortable with.
Ok. Sorry. If you even read all of that. I feel better now though.
(I'm so an emotional bulimic, binge on holding it all in, then purge on livejournal)
(Ok.. that was really inappropriate, but I have 6 classes (cough 2 cough) that discuss body image issues a lot. It's always at the forefront of my mind. Kind of annoying.)
(K. Seriously leaving now.)