(no subject)
Shit shit shit
Yeah well, yesterday was Amanda's and mine big Birthday and Goodbye party since we'll be heading out to Bavaria next weekend. The party was really much fun, we had a lot to drink and the atmosphere was really great. Until I got to know that one of my best friends who I've known for 8 years now and who I absolutely adore (she's probably the only person I NEVER had a fight with - not one!!!) won't be in town the next days so I won't see her again until mid-January when I'm coming home for a few days. Due to huge amount of alcohol I've consumed I started crying like a little girl and C. did a fantastic job to comfort me. Anyway, I suddenly became so sad and thought things like: Will we manage to stay good friends even though I'll study nearly 700 km away next year?
So I've been all depressed and stuff and when J. another really good friend of me started hugging me we finally ended up in bed which was okay because we were supposed to share this bed and seriously - we've been good friends for like 3 years now, what the hell should happen ???
Yeah you're thinking right - it all came together: the alcohol, my need to be comforted and the fact that we're both single for a couple of weeks now and our both last "relationship" had been gross (I know this is so cliché).
Okay, things like that can happen to anyone, right? He had to get up at 9 a.m. so we had no real chance to talk this out and I've been wondering the whole day whether this will change anything between us. By now he had called me to ask if we're ok and if that what he had done was so wrong that I'd hate him now (yeah sure coz you raped me and I had no chance to escape - there are always two people involved and if anything you've been even more wasted than me).
So this is good. The part that really freaks me out is that I really enjoyed it in a way I had never before because I've never known a lover for more than a couple of weeks and yesterday I trusted him so much and felt so safe and totally comfortable when he held me this morning and I can't really describe it - I definately never had this before. Right now I think I'd go for more than the 'just-friends' stuff if it wasn't for my move to Bavaria in 5 days...
Yeah I'm really freaked out right now and my mind refuses to give me any kind of helpful thoughts and I'm all confused and dead tired because I only slept one hour last night...
Yeah well, yesterday was Amanda's and mine big Birthday and Goodbye party since we'll be heading out to Bavaria next weekend. The party was really much fun, we had a lot to drink and the atmosphere was really great. Until I got to know that one of my best friends who I've known for 8 years now and who I absolutely adore (she's probably the only person I NEVER had a fight with - not one!!!) won't be in town the next days so I won't see her again until mid-January when I'm coming home for a few days. Due to huge amount of alcohol I've consumed I started crying like a little girl and C. did a fantastic job to comfort me. Anyway, I suddenly became so sad and thought things like: Will we manage to stay good friends even though I'll study nearly 700 km away next year?
So I've been all depressed and stuff and when J. another really good friend of me started hugging me we finally ended up in bed which was okay because we were supposed to share this bed and seriously - we've been good friends for like 3 years now, what the hell should happen ???
Yeah you're thinking right - it all came together: the alcohol, my need to be comforted and the fact that we're both single for a couple of weeks now and our both last "relationship" had been gross (I know this is so cliché).
Okay, things like that can happen to anyone, right? He had to get up at 9 a.m. so we had no real chance to talk this out and I've been wondering the whole day whether this will change anything between us. By now he had called me to ask if we're ok and if that what he had done was so wrong that I'd hate him now (yeah sure coz you raped me and I had no chance to escape - there are always two people involved and if anything you've been even more wasted than me).
So this is good. The part that really freaks me out is that I really enjoyed it in a way I had never before because I've never known a lover for more than a couple of weeks and yesterday I trusted him so much and felt so safe and totally comfortable when he held me this morning and I can't really describe it - I definately never had this before. Right now I think I'd go for more than the 'just-friends' stuff if it wasn't for my move to Bavaria in 5 days...
Yeah I'm really freaked out right now and my mind refuses to give me any kind of helpful thoughts and I'm all confused and dead tired because I only slept one hour last night...