Only two things in this world are certain...
Death and Taxes.
Unlike taxes, I have not had much experience with death throughout my life.
Actually, looking back, I have had experience with death, but not much experience with Loss. To me there is a very distinct difference.
Many people I have known have died. Aunts, Uncles, both of my Grandmothers, as well as various people on the periphery of my life (family friends, relatives of friends, ect cetra). As callous as it may sound, their deaths didn't affect me very much. Truth of the matter is, you can't really feel a great sense of loss over people you never really knew or who were a part of your life. Both of my Grandfathers died waaaay before I was even born, so I never knew either of them. In the case of both of my Grandmothers, I never really got to know either of them very well. My maternial grandmother died when I was 8. She was very old and in and out of the hospital for the last two years of her life, so I never got to know her. My paternal grandmother lived a little ways away and died when I was in my teens. I only saw her a couple of times a year, and she never really liked my dad (and thus his family) much for some reason. So when they passed, I didn't feel any big sense of loss, since I never knew them or had them part of my life.
The first, and perhaps only, death that I have felt a great sense of "Loss" with, was when my best friend, my dog Max died on August 12th 2004. Two days before my birthday. He was my best friend and a source of unconditional love during the roughest parts of my life. I got him as a puppy during the summer of 1988 from my best friends Zack and Jason (whom are still some of my best friends). I got him right after the worst part of my life... Junior High. And right before yet another rough time in my life... High School. I truly believe he saved my life, gave me hope, and prevented me from killing myself long enough for me to be able to deal with my depression and everything I was going through. He was the first being that I truly loved that passed away.
It was the first time I ever truly had to deal with loss. It was heartbreaking and I felt a sense of emptyness in my heart that is still there.
Why am I writing about this, here and now? Well, last weekend was my fathers 67th birthday. For someone his age, he is remarkably active, clear minded, and healthy. I love my Dad, and I am so proud of him and so glad that he is a big part of my life now. And I feel the same way about my Mom as well. I love her with all my heart. She has been through so much in her life, multiple bouts with cancer (losing her breasts, uterus, and part of a colon and lung to it, but coming out victorious and cancer-free in the end!), diabetes, glaucoma and blindness, and finally a stroke. And through it all, she has survived and come out okay. A little worse for wear and maybe missing a body part here and there, but she is tough, and a survior.
But as healthy as my father is, and as indestructable as my mother seems... I know that they won't be around forever. When they die, it will be the end of any pain or suffering that they are going through, and an end to a very long, worthwhile life full of small, but very important achievements. No, their death is not what I fear or dread, but the loss of them in my life, and the heartache and emptiness that will be there after their passing.
Ever since I can remember... I have never been afraid of death. To me, death is, and always has been, a natural part of life. Everyones life is like a story, and like all stories, there is a beginning (birth), a middle (life), and an end (death). One story ends, a new one begins... it is the way of things. Everyone wants a happy end to their story. A happily ever after in paradice. I guess that is the biggest appeal and draw of religions in all their shapes and forms. They offer the promise and hope of a happily ever after if you follow their path. The problem is, they have never been to the end of the book, so they don't know how it truly ends. To me, I think the end of every persons story is what they make it to be... happy or sad.
What comes after the end of this story we call life? Who knows. Whether or not the ending of this story is but the beginning of a new one. Or whether once the last page is written and the book is closed, that is all there is. What I do know is that we should try to enjoy the story of our own lives as much as we can. To go through life simply hoping for a happy ending or wishing that there is new, better story after this one is to miss all of the wonder, beauty, and good times that exist in the life we are living. Looking to others for a happy ending is futile, only you can write your own happy ending.
Unlike taxes, I have not had much experience with death throughout my life.
Actually, looking back, I have had experience with death, but not much experience with Loss. To me there is a very distinct difference.
Many people I have known have died. Aunts, Uncles, both of my Grandmothers, as well as various people on the periphery of my life (family friends, relatives of friends, ect cetra). As callous as it may sound, their deaths didn't affect me very much. Truth of the matter is, you can't really feel a great sense of loss over people you never really knew or who were a part of your life. Both of my Grandfathers died waaaay before I was even born, so I never knew either of them. In the case of both of my Grandmothers, I never really got to know either of them very well. My maternial grandmother died when I was 8. She was very old and in and out of the hospital for the last two years of her life, so I never got to know her. My paternal grandmother lived a little ways away and died when I was in my teens. I only saw her a couple of times a year, and she never really liked my dad (and thus his family) much for some reason. So when they passed, I didn't feel any big sense of loss, since I never knew them or had them part of my life.
The first, and perhaps only, death that I have felt a great sense of "Loss" with, was when my best friend, my dog Max died on August 12th 2004. Two days before my birthday. He was my best friend and a source of unconditional love during the roughest parts of my life. I got him as a puppy during the summer of 1988 from my best friends Zack and Jason (whom are still some of my best friends). I got him right after the worst part of my life... Junior High. And right before yet another rough time in my life... High School. I truly believe he saved my life, gave me hope, and prevented me from killing myself long enough for me to be able to deal with my depression and everything I was going through. He was the first being that I truly loved that passed away.
It was the first time I ever truly had to deal with loss. It was heartbreaking and I felt a sense of emptyness in my heart that is still there.
Why am I writing about this, here and now? Well, last weekend was my fathers 67th birthday. For someone his age, he is remarkably active, clear minded, and healthy. I love my Dad, and I am so proud of him and so glad that he is a big part of my life now. And I feel the same way about my Mom as well. I love her with all my heart. She has been through so much in her life, multiple bouts with cancer (losing her breasts, uterus, and part of a colon and lung to it, but coming out victorious and cancer-free in the end!), diabetes, glaucoma and blindness, and finally a stroke. And through it all, she has survived and come out okay. A little worse for wear and maybe missing a body part here and there, but she is tough, and a survior.
But as healthy as my father is, and as indestructable as my mother seems... I know that they won't be around forever. When they die, it will be the end of any pain or suffering that they are going through, and an end to a very long, worthwhile life full of small, but very important achievements. No, their death is not what I fear or dread, but the loss of them in my life, and the heartache and emptiness that will be there after their passing.
Ever since I can remember... I have never been afraid of death. To me, death is, and always has been, a natural part of life. Everyones life is like a story, and like all stories, there is a beginning (birth), a middle (life), and an end (death). One story ends, a new one begins... it is the way of things. Everyone wants a happy end to their story. A happily ever after in paradice. I guess that is the biggest appeal and draw of religions in all their shapes and forms. They offer the promise and hope of a happily ever after if you follow their path. The problem is, they have never been to the end of the book, so they don't know how it truly ends. To me, I think the end of every persons story is what they make it to be... happy or sad.
What comes after the end of this story we call life? Who knows. Whether or not the ending of this story is but the beginning of a new one. Or whether once the last page is written and the book is closed, that is all there is. What I do know is that we should try to enjoy the story of our own lives as much as we can. To go through life simply hoping for a happy ending or wishing that there is new, better story after this one is to miss all of the wonder, beauty, and good times that exist in the life we are living. Looking to others for a happy ending is futile, only you can write your own happy ending.