Numb3rs: "the icon-based crackfic"
Title: the icon-based crackfic
Characters: the team & the assistants
Word Count: 552
Rating: PG-13
Warnings & Summary: crackfic based on Mustangcandi’s icons at here
Author’s Note: Written for numb3rs100…but I couldn’t match it up to any of the Rewind Prompts, and I promised myself that I’d do Rewinds before I returned to normal drabbles.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Numb3rs and anything related to it.
**************************************
It all started with Larry laughing hysterically and-or maniacally.
Don raised an eyebrow and wondered what his brother had done this time.
Amita tried to look over without turning her head. She knew Charlie was watching her; it wasn’t sweet this time, or last time, actually.
But then both of them were transfixed by the expression on Colby’s face. Is that - gas? Charlie wondered. Lack of social skills meant he sometimes couldn’t read peoples’ faces as well as he’d like.
Colby changed expressions, maximizing his adorable-iality.
“Oh God,” Liz moaned. “Is he actually making puppy-dog eyes?”
“I think he is,” David said.
“I thought that was just something people put in their fics to sound cutesey.”
David wondered when Colby had gone over the top, and if it was too late to give him back to China. Maybe if they paid late fees…
Amita was sniffing a rose petal because she’d missed breakfast and the writer wasn’t letting anyone go for lunch.
I have to be drunk, Don thought to himself. And if I’m not, I should be.
Colby looked at Amita sadly, wondering what had happened to them. But then he realized something: the loss of Amita didn’t subtract (since this was a math-related show) from his awesomeness. “Why yes,” Colby said, “yes I am awesome.”
Charlie shook his head.
“What you talkin’ ‘bout, Charlie?” substituting that name for ‘Willis.’
“Puh-lease, Colby,” Charlie said. “Everybody knows that, in order to do a proper Barney Stinson impression, you have to do this,” and made a face and did something with his hands.
Amita was regretting ever trying to get Charlie to act normal by watching cable television.
While Don was hoping that the hickey on Charlie’s neck wasn’t from Millie - their dad wouldn’t appreciate that one bit.
And suddenly they were outside. “You think the writer will ever let our eyes adjust to the light,” David asked, “instead of just thrusting us hither and yon?”
Don shrugged.
Charlie looked smirkful and confident, gleeful that nobody was glomming on to his Super Secret Plan.
“Aw hell,” Colby said. “Tell me they’re at least Martians,” referring to the spaceships behind him.
“I did the math,” Charlie said, not making eye contact with anyone, “and they’re not from Mars.”
“Oh this is bad,” Larry moaned.
Liz threw a vest at Colby who suddenly was wearing it. “Think this’ll work? Well? WELL??”
Sinclair had a chuckle at Colby, unaware that everyone was back inside again.
“God,” Don said, “I really really need that beer.
“No, no, I’m not supposed to have alcohol.”
“Gave it up for Lent?” Colby joked.
Don gestured warningly for Colby to be silent or else.
Amita and Liz and Nikki noticed none of that, as they were all gazing longingly at Colby’s throat.
Colby tried not to let his fear show - he’d seen what was left of the last guy those ladies had fought over.
Don agreed with the fear, ‘cause it was damn scary…but he still wanted that beer.
Then Don started picturing Amita in her underclothes - isn’t that what the motivational speakers tell guys to do? If we’re afraid, then just picture them in their undies.
Charlie held Amita close, though he knew he’d be rubbish at fending them away…usually Amita had to fight for Charlie, not vice versa.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The end.
Divergence:
Characters: the team & the assistants
Word Count: 552
Rating: PG-13
Warnings & Summary: crackfic based on Mustangcandi’s icons at here
Author’s Note: Written for numb3rs100…but I couldn’t match it up to any of the Rewind Prompts, and I promised myself that I’d do Rewinds before I returned to normal drabbles.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Numb3rs and anything related to it.
**************************************
It all started with Larry laughing hysterically and-or maniacally.
Don raised an eyebrow and wondered what his brother had done this time.
Amita tried to look over without turning her head. She knew Charlie was watching her; it wasn’t sweet this time, or last time, actually.
But then both of them were transfixed by the expression on Colby’s face. Is that - gas? Charlie wondered. Lack of social skills meant he sometimes couldn’t read peoples’ faces as well as he’d like.
Colby changed expressions, maximizing his adorable-iality.
“Oh God,” Liz moaned. “Is he actually making puppy-dog eyes?”
“I think he is,” David said.
“I thought that was just something people put in their fics to sound cutesey.”
David wondered when Colby had gone over the top, and if it was too late to give him back to China. Maybe if they paid late fees…
Amita was sniffing a rose petal because she’d missed breakfast and the writer wasn’t letting anyone go for lunch.
I have to be drunk, Don thought to himself. And if I’m not, I should be.
Colby looked at Amita sadly, wondering what had happened to them. But then he realized something: the loss of Amita didn’t subtract (since this was a math-related show) from his awesomeness. “Why yes,” Colby said, “yes I am awesome.”
Charlie shook his head.
“What you talkin’ ‘bout, Charlie?” substituting that name for ‘Willis.’
“Puh-lease, Colby,” Charlie said. “Everybody knows that, in order to do a proper Barney Stinson impression, you have to do this,” and made a face and did something with his hands.
Amita was regretting ever trying to get Charlie to act normal by watching cable television.
While Don was hoping that the hickey on Charlie’s neck wasn’t from Millie - their dad wouldn’t appreciate that one bit.
And suddenly they were outside. “You think the writer will ever let our eyes adjust to the light,” David asked, “instead of just thrusting us hither and yon?”
Don shrugged.
Charlie looked smirkful and confident, gleeful that nobody was glomming on to his Super Secret Plan.
“Aw hell,” Colby said. “Tell me they’re at least Martians,” referring to the spaceships behind him.
“I did the math,” Charlie said, not making eye contact with anyone, “and they’re not from Mars.”
“Oh this is bad,” Larry moaned.
Liz threw a vest at Colby who suddenly was wearing it. “Think this’ll work? Well? WELL??”
Sinclair had a chuckle at Colby, unaware that everyone was back inside again.
“God,” Don said, “I really really need that beer.
“No, no, I’m not supposed to have alcohol.”
“Gave it up for Lent?” Colby joked.
Don gestured warningly for Colby to be silent or else.
Amita and Liz and Nikki noticed none of that, as they were all gazing longingly at Colby’s throat.
Colby tried not to let his fear show - he’d seen what was left of the last guy those ladies had fought over.
Don agreed with the fear, ‘cause it was damn scary…but he still wanted that beer.
Then Don started picturing Amita in her underclothes - isn’t that what the motivational speakers tell guys to do? If we’re afraid, then just picture them in their undies.
Charlie held Amita close, though he knew he’d be rubbish at fending them away…usually Amita had to fight for Charlie, not vice versa.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The end.
Divergence: