the ficlet Fredbassett asked for...
Summary: some of the things Nick Cutter hears out on the firing range at the ARC...
"Oh... Goodness, Lester, you didn't have to do all this."
"Waste not, want not. Besides, it was either this or a new hairdrier for the water closet downstairs."
"Glad you chose this, then. Not sure why Connor keeps blaming Rex every time the drier breaks."
"Habit, perhaps. Now, what do you think of this?"
"Tis soft as a baby's bottom."
"One of the perks of discretionary spending on the money remaining after the annual purchases are made." That was Lester. Talking to Lyle, it sounded like.
"I could lose my hand in there."
"Best not, Captain. We need your trigger finger intact and functional."
"Definately the shag to end all shags. How...?"
"I know people in the business."
"Of course you do," unaware that - to Nick - he said it exactly as Helen would have said it. Of course, it was also exactly like Officer Eva Marquez.
"It is never wise to doubt me, Mr. Lyle." A pause. "I'm surrounded by imbeciles: you call that a stroke?"
"You an expert now, sir?"
"As a matter of fact, I am. Observe."
"Now I got the hang of it."
"Just don't lose your head, Lyle. I need you to keep your wits about you."
Despite himself, Cutter peeked around the corner, and saw Lyle and Lester each crouched - separate - on and admiring the new carpet. "Yes, Professor?" Lyle asked.
"Nothing," Cutter said, and hurried away, red in the face....and making a mental note to get the networks to stop sending American series to Lester's telly.
=================================================
author's note: on this side of the Pond, "shag" is a type of very soft and quite deep carpet.
"Oh... Goodness, Lester, you didn't have to do all this."
"Waste not, want not. Besides, it was either this or a new hairdrier for the water closet downstairs."
"Glad you chose this, then. Not sure why Connor keeps blaming Rex every time the drier breaks."
"Habit, perhaps. Now, what do you think of this?"
"Tis soft as a baby's bottom."
"One of the perks of discretionary spending on the money remaining after the annual purchases are made." That was Lester. Talking to Lyle, it sounded like.
"I could lose my hand in there."
"Best not, Captain. We need your trigger finger intact and functional."
"Definately the shag to end all shags. How...?"
"I know people in the business."
"Of course you do," unaware that - to Nick - he said it exactly as Helen would have said it. Of course, it was also exactly like Officer Eva Marquez.
"It is never wise to doubt me, Mr. Lyle." A pause. "I'm surrounded by imbeciles: you call that a stroke?"
"You an expert now, sir?"
"As a matter of fact, I am. Observe."
"Now I got the hang of it."
"Just don't lose your head, Lyle. I need you to keep your wits about you."
Despite himself, Cutter peeked around the corner, and saw Lyle and Lester each crouched - separate - on and admiring the new carpet. "Yes, Professor?" Lyle asked.
"Nothing," Cutter said, and hurried away, red in the face....and making a mental note to get the networks to stop sending American series to Lester's telly.
=================================================
author's note: on this side of the Pond, "shag" is a type of very soft and quite deep carpet.