Au contre mon ami
Spawned from a twitter conversation that went like this:
Diana: ... on an episode of glee XD the cheerleading coach haha
Kei: oh, sue. lol. yes. hyuk has a sue tracksuit on.
Diana: hyuk finds himself attracted to and terrified of a married woman. she reminds him of another equally intimidating person--and he realizes (much later in the fic) it's safer to crush on an unavailable woman than to admit his love for a certain bandmate
Kei: ... lol, can't get sue/hyuk out of my mind--hyuk first sees sue wearing the fur-lined tracksuit shuester got her per kurk's sugg. and by kirk, i mean kurt. man, it is late. i was thinking star trek.
Diana: YES! and maybe at one point hyuk can dimly recall his traumatic experience with gaga a la rodiy's fic
Kei: omg where is rodiy so SHE can write this instead of me
Title: Track Fields
Pairing: Some kind of semblance of Sue Sylvester/Eunhyuk with HyukChul
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue
A/N: Belatedly, I realize that this is not the fic that you wanted Diana! DDD: but it's still Hyukchul!...That's gotta count for something right?
It was the vertical piping that first caught his eye.
The material, even the white lines that ran little tiny train tracks down the side of the pant leg looked soft to the touch. Eunhyuk had sent an errant brain cell off to wonder about where he could possibly purchase a pair like that when someone bumped into him from behind.
The accidental forward momentum propelled him through what had previously been someone else’s personal space and he ended up plowing his knobby elbows into the back of the person in front of him.
The other person swiftly turned around, but it wasn’t the sight of her thin downturned lips or her fur lined hood that had Eunhyuk instinctively take a step back.
It was her hair.
Eunhyuk’s last entanglement with a flaxen hair foreigner had landed him in a cage. He gave an involuntary shiver as the repressed memories started to unearth themselves in his mind like moles frantically digging through the topsoil as their underground homes flooded.
Eunhyuk did not understand the words coming of the foreign woman’s mouth, but he could recognize that caustic tone anywhere. This time however, there was no claim to brotherhood and doing things for the good of the company to save him this time.
The foreigner’s gaze suddenly changed. Instead of feeling like some overrun road kill that had somehow attached itself to the bottom of her shoe, Eunhyuk felt like a piece of prized meat put up for auction. She eyed him up and down and Eunhyuk thought he heard the word for “clothes” when she spoke to him.
Eunhyuk took a quick look at his outfit, making sure that he wasn’t naked and this was just some horrible nightmare come to life.
A quick glance revealed that he was still clothed in the same tracksuit he had been wearing for the past week. When asked, Eunhyuk said it kept him pretty toasty, and the zipper pulled all the way up to his chin. The leopard print was made out of some sort of velvety material, and Eunhyuk liked petting it. He did this when no one was looking of course; otherwise he just looked like a big pervert who liked to touch himself. That still didn’t explain why he hadn’t washed his hand from where Heechul’s lips had lingered when Eunhyuk told everyone that aside from the members, Heechul was close to everyone.
Eunhyuk took another step back as the foreign woman took another step forward. He felt an insuperable mound of dread, inevitability and déjà vu build inside him as he felt his back hit the wall.
He cringed and screwed his eyes tight. He threw away any sense of coherent thought and his mind ran rampant with fervent prayers to God to save him from the woman and Leeteuk when Eunhyuk failed to show up at rehearsal.
***
“Awake already, sunshine?” A voice asked him as Eunhyuk struggled to open his eyes.
When his vision cleared, he saw the foreign blond woman, her tracksuit making whispering whooshes of sound as she strode across the room.
“Wondering how you can understand me now? Honestly, if I had to speak in circles and squares, I should be summoning a demon not ordering kimchi. It’s just easier to put the automatic translator chip in your neck. I’d resist the urge to rub it or touch any electrical outlets if I were you,” she said, spotting Eunhyuk’s hand creeping to his neck.
“Anyway, your head seems to have - hm, that does look like a rather nasty side effect to the insertion process. I’m going to have to pen a note to Jong Il about the quality of his people. Becky!”
A diminutively sized blond girl wrapped in a cheerleading outfit obediently trotted into the room. “Yes, Coach?” she said, the words accented with a slight lisp as she looked up at the foreign woman through her large glasses.
Coach? Eunhyuk thought, already tuning out what the foreign woman and her sidekick were saying. Were the small golden statues with tiny people balanced on top really just trophies? Maybe Eunhyuk should stay here. A coach who was this prolific could certainly teach him a thing or two that would leave Minho on his knees at the next Dream Team filming.
That was around the point that Eunhyuk realized he was chained to the bed.
Eunhyuk liked to think he didn’t do something as unmanly as fainting but as his eyes shuttered closed; he knew he did exactly that.
***
When Eunhyuk awoke again, he was devastatingly relieved to find himself back in his own bedroom.
That is, until he saw Heechul sitting at the chair near his bed, idly flipping through the magazines that Eunhyuk thought for sure no one else could ever find.
“By the way,” Heechul said, skimming past the two page spread of himself, “Leeteuk put you under house arrest so you’d stop meeting these blonde foreigners. The legal team managed to exchange Seasonings for you but now you’re legally contracted to give him your first three children whenever you decide to pop them out. He told me to tell you not to worry though, he already has their outfits picked out.”
Heechul then placed the magazine down behind the small stack next to him and climbed into bed with Eunhyuk.
Propping himself up on one elbow, he swept his fingers against the skin of Eunhyuk’s neck. “What’s this?” he asked as his thumb pressed up against the strange slit made high up on Eunhyuk’s neck, close to his ear.
There was a great crack as though a heavy whip had just been snapped through the air, and the room was shot with bright electric blue light before everything went dark. Moments later, Ryeowook rushed into the room, the backlight from his phone bathing him in a mysterious alien like glow.
“Hyung!” Ryeowook exclaimed, “All the electrical outlets just exploded!”
Diana: ... on an episode of glee XD the cheerleading coach haha
Kei: oh, sue. lol. yes. hyuk has a sue tracksuit on.
Diana: hyuk finds himself attracted to and terrified of a married woman. she reminds him of another equally intimidating person--and he realizes (much later in the fic) it's safer to crush on an unavailable woman than to admit his love for a certain bandmate
Kei: ... lol, can't get sue/hyuk out of my mind--hyuk first sees sue wearing the fur-lined tracksuit shuester got her per kurk's sugg. and by kirk, i mean kurt. man, it is late. i was thinking star trek.
Diana: YES! and maybe at one point hyuk can dimly recall his traumatic experience with gaga a la rodiy's fic
Kei: omg where is rodiy so SHE can write this instead of me
Title: Track Fields
Pairing: Some kind of semblance of Sue Sylvester/Eunhyuk with HyukChul
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue
A/N: Belatedly, I realize that this is not the fic that you wanted Diana! DDD: but it's still Hyukchul!...That's gotta count for something right?
It was the vertical piping that first caught his eye.
The material, even the white lines that ran little tiny train tracks down the side of the pant leg looked soft to the touch. Eunhyuk had sent an errant brain cell off to wonder about where he could possibly purchase a pair like that when someone bumped into him from behind.
The accidental forward momentum propelled him through what had previously been someone else’s personal space and he ended up plowing his knobby elbows into the back of the person in front of him.
The other person swiftly turned around, but it wasn’t the sight of her thin downturned lips or her fur lined hood that had Eunhyuk instinctively take a step back.
It was her hair.
Eunhyuk’s last entanglement with a flaxen hair foreigner had landed him in a cage. He gave an involuntary shiver as the repressed memories started to unearth themselves in his mind like moles frantically digging through the topsoil as their underground homes flooded.
Eunhyuk did not understand the words coming of the foreign woman’s mouth, but he could recognize that caustic tone anywhere. This time however, there was no claim to brotherhood and doing things for the good of the company to save him this time.
The foreigner’s gaze suddenly changed. Instead of feeling like some overrun road kill that had somehow attached itself to the bottom of her shoe, Eunhyuk felt like a piece of prized meat put up for auction. She eyed him up and down and Eunhyuk thought he heard the word for “clothes” when she spoke to him.
Eunhyuk took a quick look at his outfit, making sure that he wasn’t naked and this was just some horrible nightmare come to life.
A quick glance revealed that he was still clothed in the same tracksuit he had been wearing for the past week. When asked, Eunhyuk said it kept him pretty toasty, and the zipper pulled all the way up to his chin. The leopard print was made out of some sort of velvety material, and Eunhyuk liked petting it. He did this when no one was looking of course; otherwise he just looked like a big pervert who liked to touch himself. That still didn’t explain why he hadn’t washed his hand from where Heechul’s lips had lingered when Eunhyuk told everyone that aside from the members, Heechul was close to everyone.
Eunhyuk took another step back as the foreign woman took another step forward. He felt an insuperable mound of dread, inevitability and déjà vu build inside him as he felt his back hit the wall.
He cringed and screwed his eyes tight. He threw away any sense of coherent thought and his mind ran rampant with fervent prayers to God to save him from the woman and Leeteuk when Eunhyuk failed to show up at rehearsal.
***
“Awake already, sunshine?” A voice asked him as Eunhyuk struggled to open his eyes.
When his vision cleared, he saw the foreign blond woman, her tracksuit making whispering whooshes of sound as she strode across the room.
“Wondering how you can understand me now? Honestly, if I had to speak in circles and squares, I should be summoning a demon not ordering kimchi. It’s just easier to put the automatic translator chip in your neck. I’d resist the urge to rub it or touch any electrical outlets if I were you,” she said, spotting Eunhyuk’s hand creeping to his neck.
“Anyway, your head seems to have - hm, that does look like a rather nasty side effect to the insertion process. I’m going to have to pen a note to Jong Il about the quality of his people. Becky!”
A diminutively sized blond girl wrapped in a cheerleading outfit obediently trotted into the room. “Yes, Coach?” she said, the words accented with a slight lisp as she looked up at the foreign woman through her large glasses.
Coach? Eunhyuk thought, already tuning out what the foreign woman and her sidekick were saying. Were the small golden statues with tiny people balanced on top really just trophies? Maybe Eunhyuk should stay here. A coach who was this prolific could certainly teach him a thing or two that would leave Minho on his knees at the next Dream Team filming.
That was around the point that Eunhyuk realized he was chained to the bed.
Eunhyuk liked to think he didn’t do something as unmanly as fainting but as his eyes shuttered closed; he knew he did exactly that.
***
When Eunhyuk awoke again, he was devastatingly relieved to find himself back in his own bedroom.
That is, until he saw Heechul sitting at the chair near his bed, idly flipping through the magazines that Eunhyuk thought for sure no one else could ever find.
“By the way,” Heechul said, skimming past the two page spread of himself, “Leeteuk put you under house arrest so you’d stop meeting these blonde foreigners. The legal team managed to exchange Seasonings for you but now you’re legally contracted to give him your first three children whenever you decide to pop them out. He told me to tell you not to worry though, he already has their outfits picked out.”
Heechul then placed the magazine down behind the small stack next to him and climbed into bed with Eunhyuk.
Propping himself up on one elbow, he swept his fingers against the skin of Eunhyuk’s neck. “What’s this?” he asked as his thumb pressed up against the strange slit made high up on Eunhyuk’s neck, close to his ear.
There was a great crack as though a heavy whip had just been snapped through the air, and the room was shot with bright electric blue light before everything went dark. Moments later, Ryeowook rushed into the room, the backlight from his phone bathing him in a mysterious alien like glow.
“Hyung!” Ryeowook exclaimed, “All the electrical outlets just exploded!”