HUMOR: Orange Julius Caesar vs. King of the Juice

[rodillon]

QUESTION:

what do you think of this rational account of the Resurrection?
during jesus's crucifiction none of the apostles other than john were beleived to be hiding. The rest probably got the details of the event from another source. Mark and Luke got their accounts from peter (who was likely to be in hiding) and paul (who only started fallowing jesus a lot later )

According to the bible Since it was passover, jesus and the rest of the convicts were taken down very soon and only jesus was miraculously dead. he was then placed in a tomb and 3 days later he resurrected.

Isn't it possible that jesus only appeared to be dead taken to the tomb. Woke up from the coma escaped from the tomb went to the apostles and then did what any sensible person would do- leave the country before the officials found out.

of course how he managed to escape the tomb undetected is unclear but there can be many possiblities.

one possobility is that he was discovered to be alive when a few followers came to visit him, and they sneaked him out

REPLY:

While I dislike giving Bible Thumpers reasonfor praise using Scientific Methods to reinforce that the Bible has Truth, I will say this.

People should be thinking more in terms of a Riddle and where it was a Mathematical Crucifixion. The Bible was more of Blueprints of what was to come.

• If you pay close attention to the "Da Vinci Code," it talks about a Female Jesus Christ.
  
• In the movie "Dogma," it talks about a Female God with Alanis Morissette.
  
• In the "40 Year Old Virgin," Steve Carell is a Virgin and born 8/16 like Madonna, who's the Virgin Mary. So it symbolizes a Male Virgin Mary.
  

You see a pattern where the Genders are inverted.

If the Genders are inverted, then it could be hinting that Jesus Christ may be Female or that there's something related to being Female.

1. Most people claim that Jesus Christ is Male.
   
2. The only difference between the word "Female" and "Male" are the letters "Fe"
   
3. Fe = IRon = IR on = IR Activated(On)
   
4. All the Letters in CHRIST add up to 77, which is IR on the Periodic Table
   
5. Fe = IRon = IR on = Christ Activated
   

So if Christ is Female, then it means there's a Woman involved.

1. The Crucifix looks like Lowercase "T"
   
2. T = 20th Letter
   
3. 20 = XX in Roman Numerals
   
4. XX = Female DNA Strand
   

If you pay close attention to the Crucifix it had "INRI"

1. RI = IR Backward
   
2. C+H+R+I+S+T = 77 = IR on the Periodic Table
   
3. Christ also has "RI" inside
   
4. RI = Rhode Island
   
5. Rhode Island was inducted 5/29
   
6. John F. Kennedy was born 5/29
   
7. JFK was the youngest President
   
8. Marilyn Monroe = Initials MM = Mary Magdalene
   

If Jesus Christ was the youngest and King, that would translate over to being the youngest President of the United States.

1. Wisconsin was inducted 5/29
   
2. Wisconsin is the Dairy State
   
3. Dairy = Da/IR-y = Giving(Da-Spanish) IR Male(Y)
   

That IR manifests itself once again:

1. Rhode Island = th(IR)teenth State
   
2. Wisconscin = th(IR)teeth State
   
3. 5/29 = Gemini = Mercury = f(IR)st Planet
   
4. We live on Earth, which is the th(IR)d Planet
   

So when it comes to the Crucifixion, you could argue that Jesus Christ was someone who had a "Spiritual Cross" which would be a Female (T/20/XX) and here people were making fun of him.

1. Jew = J-E/W
   
2. J = 10th letter
   
3. Capricorn = 10th Sign
   
4. We're moving out of the Age of Cap(RI)corn
   
5. E = 5th Letter = 5th Sign = Leo = Sun
   
6. W = Omega/Final Symbol
   
7. J-E/W = Capricorn(J) Sun(E) Final(W)
   

It would mean that if there's someone walking around claiming to be "Fe-Male," that would be the Mathematical Crucifix. The people who are making fun of that person would qualify as "J-E/Ws."

1. Rod = Ruler
   
2. Florida is shaped like a Penis
   
3. Penis = Rod
   
4. Orange Juice = Florida's State Juice
   
5. Jesus Christ was King of the Jews
   

If Jesus Christ is a King or "Ruler" and Florida is shaped like a Rod/Ruler, that's how you'd get Jesus Christ as "King of the Juice."

It only makes sense because you know that "Orange Julius" Caesar would wouldn't want someone going around claiming to be King of the Juice.

(Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor?)