Gone to Earth 34
Gone to Earth has been full of conflict but no combat apart from the space battle in which Praluna was not a participant. That changes in chapter 34. Praluna goes into battle with the Incarnate-made organic battlesuit that the Incarnate-made synthetic creature gave her in the previous chapter. The suit draws on her memories of hand-to-hand fights as a street urchin and refines her fighting style on the fly. Though she emerges unharmed, the archaeologist does not. She has the Incarnate's creature carry him to an escape shuttle and sends the Incarnate's battlesuit to mask their movement, keeping only its arms for their weaponry. The Big Bad resumes the search for them, so she makes herself a distraction and receives an invitation to the bridge.
The chapter was well-received despite its first-draft flaws. The writing was "exemplary", and the chapter's surprise twist at the beginning worked, as did the cliffhanger invitation to the bridge at the end. One reader liked the irony that Praluna was ready to sacrifice herself in order to achieve immortality.
What didn't work for most readers was the suit. It was introduced in chapter 33 and is clearly a tool which will play a key part in the finale. The complaint was that this was essentially the opposite of a Chekhov's Gun (Sulu's Foil?), in that a critical plot element that should have been introduced earlier has not been introduced until the time for it to be used.
This is actually an easy fix. First mention of special weapons research can be included amongst other revelations made just past the halfway point in the book. There's a lot being revealed at that point, and it will fit right in.
Three positive critiques out of seven gives this chapter a rating of 43%, indicating that it's a pretty solid chapter with fairly minor problems. Kapoor will fix those problems in the second draft, and once that's critiqued all the way through he will produce a brilliant third draft to send to agents.
The chapter was well-received despite its first-draft flaws. The writing was "exemplary", and the chapter's surprise twist at the beginning worked, as did the cliffhanger invitation to the bridge at the end. One reader liked the irony that Praluna was ready to sacrifice herself in order to achieve immortality.
What didn't work for most readers was the suit. It was introduced in chapter 33 and is clearly a tool which will play a key part in the finale. The complaint was that this was essentially the opposite of a Chekhov's Gun (Sulu's Foil?), in that a critical plot element that should have been introduced earlier has not been introduced until the time for it to be used.
This is actually an easy fix. First mention of special weapons research can be included amongst other revelations made just past the halfway point in the book. There's a lot being revealed at that point, and it will fit right in.
Three positive critiques out of seven gives this chapter a rating of 43%, indicating that it's a pretty solid chapter with fairly minor problems. Kapoor will fix those problems in the second draft, and once that's critiqued all the way through he will produce a brilliant third draft to send to agents.