the pope died before he got his own reality show : (
The pope was dope. Best of luck in the next world, you fine steward. You are gonna have way more people show up to your memorial than Kurt Kobain did. You are a monster God of rock!
I’d like to first, take this time to show my undying gratitude to the Roman Catholic Church, but more specifically St. Thomas Aquinas for making me feel guilty every time I masturbate. Yes, when you showed up on the scene back in 15whatever it was, weren’t you the lucky fucker. Nuns were glorified concubines, popes and bishops were pulling triple anal sow cow’s in an orgy-den of iniquity and with spiritual stamina and precision of a modern day Ron Jeremy... hell even prostitution was legal to keep men from becoming fans of "queer eye for the serf guy." ah those were the days. But somewhere down the line you decided to make fucking rather ugly. You saw the err of your ways, you expanded the definition of sodomy to anything other than eskimo kisses, and i guess that’s when nuns started wearing the unflattering penguin garb. Thanks a lot oh wise one.
Secondly, I’d really like to extend more appreciation to Mr. Martin Luther. Yes, because the Roman Catholic Church said you couldn’t fuck, you made Protestants believe they could break with the 100+ years of tradition of God’s law and start fucking again… while on the God clock. How taboo! Well good for you. So uh, question, Mr. non-black Martin Luther… What ever happened to your people and how did they deteriorate into fuck haters again? Jesus Christ people, make up your minds already! Was my southern Baptist heritage not in vein? If my mother did anything in her twisted spiritual sculpturing, she showed me how to feel guilty for 101 of the most useless things derived from your misconstrued guidance. Sex was no. 1 on her Casey Casem countdown list of no-no’s. Now, I've got another post about musings on sexuality coming out sometime later this week, but for now lets just say I have issues. The point is that because of the prominence and brash judgment of a few men, several hundred years ago, I have a guilt complex. As I speak I am being lured to the window of my hotel room because girls are getting naked. Excuse me.
Ok I'm back.
I love it when people talk about Christian values. I really do. It sounds like an all encompassing term, but if you dig just beneath the talking point surface, you find a variety of contradictions ranging from thinking singing and dancing are sins, to gay people shouldn’t put their penises in another man’s shit factory. So enlighten me guys, when you say Christian values, are you referring to the values of 145 AD where the religion was extremely cultish and border-lined on pagan ritual with sacrifices? Or do you mean the values where the Vatican was a whorehouse for the elite aristocracy? Or do you mean the values where you burned people at the stake for alleged witchcraft? Or maybe it’s the modern day mega-value Values sale this week at the everyday lowest price of our excessive hypocrisy?
This is my favorite Christian values era ever.
♦Thou Shalt Not Kill♦ except when it’s sanctioned by our God blessed American government, even though more than 3/4 of the earths population deems it unethical.
♦Pro-Life Baby♦ except, when we are talking bout some diamonds. I mean, so what if poor African children are caught in the cross fire everyday and getting butchered in the process just so long as my wife is happy. See no evil; hear no evil - because CNN doesn’t have a studio in Nairobi.
♦Hollywood Lie-berals are going to Eat Our Children!!!♦ Honey, I’m bored. LET’S GO TO BLOCKBUSTER AND HAVE A BLOCKBUSTER NIGHT!!!
♦We Must Err On The Side Of Life!!!♦ WHERE THE FUCK IS MY GOD DAMNED HEALTH CARE MOTHER FUCKERS!
♦Judge Lest Thy Be Judged♦ FOX NEWS IS FAIR AND BALANCED.
♦Turn The Other Cheek♦ MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL BABY!!! LET’S GET DRUNK AND FIGHT PEOPLE FOR THE MOST ARBITRARY OF REASONS!
♦the meek shall inherit the earth♦ HEY! LET’S BE GULIBLE AND ALIGN OURSELVES WITH THE GREEDIEST POLITICAL PARTY IN THE HISTORY OF AMERICA JUST BECAUSE THEY SAY THEY DONT WANT HOMOSEXUALS TO GET MARRIED EITHER. WE CAN CALL DISCRIMINATION A FAITH BASED INITIATIVE SO WE DONT FEEL LIKE ASSHOLES. LET’S GO OUT AND BUY A QUARTER MILLION DOLLAR HOUSE AND DRIVE A BMW FOR THAT IS TRUELY THE W.W.J.D. STANDARDS AND PRACTICES ACT OF THE 21ST CENTURY. OH, AND HEY LETS ACCUMULATE ENOUGH WEALTH THROUGH OUR SELF ABSORBED DEDICATION, SO THAT OUR CHILDREN CAN SQUANDER THEIR INHERITANCE ON ABSOLUTE DECADENCE AND THEN RUB IT IN THE WOUNDS OF MORTAL MEN, WOMEN, AND CHILDREN WITH A HEARTY FUCK YOU IN THEIR EYES - CREATING A BI-PRODUCT OF SO MUCH ENVY THAT THE ENTIRE EMPOVERISHED WORLD'S TATTERED SELF ESTEEM TURNS INTO A CEST POOL OF HATE AND LUST, BRINGING ABOUT THE DESTRUCTION OF MANKIND ONCE AND FOR ALL. GOD BLESS AMERICA!
The frustrating thing is that once upon a time you became a person of god to distiguish the good from the bad, and it just isnt that easy anymore. Maybe it never was.
I’d like to first, take this time to show my undying gratitude to the Roman Catholic Church, but more specifically St. Thomas Aquinas for making me feel guilty every time I masturbate. Yes, when you showed up on the scene back in 15whatever it was, weren’t you the lucky fucker. Nuns were glorified concubines, popes and bishops were pulling triple anal sow cow’s in an orgy-den of iniquity and with spiritual stamina and precision of a modern day Ron Jeremy... hell even prostitution was legal to keep men from becoming fans of "queer eye for the serf guy." ah those were the days. But somewhere down the line you decided to make fucking rather ugly. You saw the err of your ways, you expanded the definition of sodomy to anything other than eskimo kisses, and i guess that’s when nuns started wearing the unflattering penguin garb. Thanks a lot oh wise one.
Secondly, I’d really like to extend more appreciation to Mr. Martin Luther. Yes, because the Roman Catholic Church said you couldn’t fuck, you made Protestants believe they could break with the 100+ years of tradition of God’s law and start fucking again… while on the God clock. How taboo! Well good for you. So uh, question, Mr. non-black Martin Luther… What ever happened to your people and how did they deteriorate into fuck haters again? Jesus Christ people, make up your minds already! Was my southern Baptist heritage not in vein? If my mother did anything in her twisted spiritual sculpturing, she showed me how to feel guilty for 101 of the most useless things derived from your misconstrued guidance. Sex was no. 1 on her Casey Casem countdown list of no-no’s. Now, I've got another post about musings on sexuality coming out sometime later this week, but for now lets just say I have issues. The point is that because of the prominence and brash judgment of a few men, several hundred years ago, I have a guilt complex. As I speak I am being lured to the window of my hotel room because girls are getting naked. Excuse me.
Ok I'm back.
I love it when people talk about Christian values. I really do. It sounds like an all encompassing term, but if you dig just beneath the talking point surface, you find a variety of contradictions ranging from thinking singing and dancing are sins, to gay people shouldn’t put their penises in another man’s shit factory. So enlighten me guys, when you say Christian values, are you referring to the values of 145 AD where the religion was extremely cultish and border-lined on pagan ritual with sacrifices? Or do you mean the values where the Vatican was a whorehouse for the elite aristocracy? Or do you mean the values where you burned people at the stake for alleged witchcraft? Or maybe it’s the modern day mega-value Values sale this week at the everyday lowest price of our excessive hypocrisy?
This is my favorite Christian values era ever.
♦Thou Shalt Not Kill♦ except when it’s sanctioned by our God blessed American government, even though more than 3/4 of the earths population deems it unethical.
♦Pro-Life Baby♦ except, when we are talking bout some diamonds. I mean, so what if poor African children are caught in the cross fire everyday and getting butchered in the process just so long as my wife is happy. See no evil; hear no evil - because CNN doesn’t have a studio in Nairobi.
♦Hollywood Lie-berals are going to Eat Our Children!!!♦ Honey, I’m bored. LET’S GO TO BLOCKBUSTER AND HAVE A BLOCKBUSTER NIGHT!!!
♦We Must Err On The Side Of Life!!!♦ WHERE THE FUCK IS MY GOD DAMNED HEALTH CARE MOTHER FUCKERS!
♦Judge Lest Thy Be Judged♦ FOX NEWS IS FAIR AND BALANCED.
♦Turn The Other Cheek♦ MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL BABY!!! LET’S GET DRUNK AND FIGHT PEOPLE FOR THE MOST ARBITRARY OF REASONS!
♦the meek shall inherit the earth♦ HEY! LET’S BE GULIBLE AND ALIGN OURSELVES WITH THE GREEDIEST POLITICAL PARTY IN THE HISTORY OF AMERICA JUST BECAUSE THEY SAY THEY DONT WANT HOMOSEXUALS TO GET MARRIED EITHER. WE CAN CALL DISCRIMINATION A FAITH BASED INITIATIVE SO WE DONT FEEL LIKE ASSHOLES. LET’S GO OUT AND BUY A QUARTER MILLION DOLLAR HOUSE AND DRIVE A BMW FOR THAT IS TRUELY THE W.W.J.D. STANDARDS AND PRACTICES ACT OF THE 21ST CENTURY. OH, AND HEY LETS ACCUMULATE ENOUGH WEALTH THROUGH OUR SELF ABSORBED DEDICATION, SO THAT OUR CHILDREN CAN SQUANDER THEIR INHERITANCE ON ABSOLUTE DECADENCE AND THEN RUB IT IN THE WOUNDS OF MORTAL MEN, WOMEN, AND CHILDREN WITH A HEARTY FUCK YOU IN THEIR EYES - CREATING A BI-PRODUCT OF SO MUCH ENVY THAT THE ENTIRE EMPOVERISHED WORLD'S TATTERED SELF ESTEEM TURNS INTO A CEST POOL OF HATE AND LUST, BRINGING ABOUT THE DESTRUCTION OF MANKIND ONCE AND FOR ALL. GOD BLESS AMERICA!
The frustrating thing is that once upon a time you became a person of god to distiguish the good from the bad, and it just isnt that easy anymore. Maybe it never was.