You've Become What I Hate, Sold Yourself For A Bit Of Fame: Chapter Twenty-Five
Summary: Alex has just moved for the last of many times to Dulaney High school. He has decided that this is the year and school that he will try and become "popular" but if that happened would it be a bad thing? And will finding a new friend, that may think of him as more, also affect it?....
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, sadly. Title goes to Bite My Tongue-You Me At Six, Cut goes to Rope-Foo Fighters
A/N: At the End
Masterpost
Chapter Twenty-Five
Jack chucked his pencil and fell back so he was lying on the floor of his bedroom. This homework was too fucking hard. Who cares what the value of X was? Exactly. No one.
He sighed and decided not to bother with it right now. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialled Josh's number figuring he'd just hang out with him instead of being responsible and getting work done. The dark haired boy lay there humming to himself while he listened to the ringing and waited for his friend to pick up.
Why was it taking so long for him to answer? Was he with Hayley? Probably. Jack smiled at how cute they were, even though it was kind of annoying that he barely got to see Josh any more.
Finally, the blue-eyed boy picked up. Before he could speak Jack said, “Finally! Honestly Joshua, what were you doing, fucking your girlfriend or something? Wait. No, don't answer that. I actually don't want to know.” Jack chuckled and scrunched up his nose, he didn't want to imagine his good friend going at it. Josh was pretty hot sure, but him and a girl? Gross.
When the other boy spoke he sounded really tired and distracted and instead of getting annoyed with Jack for making some dirty comment like he usually did, he just brushed it off. “Oh, sorry. I just....yeah. Um, no. I'm not with Hayley at the moment."
The Lebanese boy furrowed his eyebrows, was there something wrong with Josh? He decided to ask him since Josh always tried to cheer HIM up. “Hey, you okay man?”
The blue-eyed boy's voice didn't change, still sounding completely worn out he said, "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."
Jack bit his lip, still worried about the other boy, “You sure? You don't sound so good.”
"Yes, Jack. Really, I'm fine. I'm just, like, you know." He made a noise that sounded a bit like a sigh and Jack could imagine him shrugging his shoulders.
The Lebanese boy switched his cell phone to his other ear and decided to let it go. Whatever it was Josh clearly didn't want to talk about it. “Uh, okay, well, I'm here for you if you need me, all right?”
The English boy sounded pained when he next spoke, "Yes, Jack. I know. Thank you."
Jack was really worried now, but he changed the subject, “The reason I called was I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out tonight or something? I have homework and it really sucks and its not due until like, next week, and we haven't done anything in a while so, uh, yeah.” He laughed at how awkward he sounded, “You wanna hang?”
Josh sucked in a breath, when he spoke it sounded weird,"Uh, well.....that sounds nice, Jack, but um...I-can't. I have to uh...do stuff..." He trailed off at the end.
The older boy knew that Josh was lying, he really was a shit liar, but he didn't want to call him out on it because the English boy seemed kinda off and Jack wanted to respect that.
“Oh, okay then. That's cool, Josh. We can hang out later! No big deal.” He spoke a little too enthusiastically because he was a bit bummed, but when Josh spoke again he didn't even seem to notice.
"All right, thanks, Jack. Yeah, later, we can, uh, hang out later. I have to go....bye."
Josh sounded really uncomfortable and Jack bit his lip again speaking out a quick “bye” before hanging up.
He let out a frustrated sigh. Josh didn't want to hang out and something was clearly bugging him. Jack couldn't even help the younger boy because he wouldn't tell him what the thing was. Oh well, he'd probably tell in time.
Jack looked back at his homework and grimaced. Yeah, that wasn't going to happen tonight. He pushed the pile of papers and books into his bag and then chucked it into the usual place he chucked his backpack.
He grabbed his phone again and texted Matt to see what he was up to,
'Hey, you busy tonight? You wanna hang out?'
'Sorry dude, I can't. My fuckhead parents grounded me for the week cos they walked in on me and Melissa.'
'Aren't they used to you fucking random girls all the time?'
'Yeah, but like, we were having a family dinner gathering at the time and things were pretty intense with us. My nana heard things from my room and kinda freaked.'
'Dude! Gross! But can't you like, sneak out or something?'
'Well yeah, but it's probably better if I don't, I didn't hand in that history essay and the teacher threatened to give me more work if I don't hand it in by tomorrow. Sorry.'
'It's cool man. See you tomorrow.'
'Yeah, see you.'
Jack sighed frustratedly again. He threw his phone onto his bed.
What to do, what to do...hmm. He paced around his bedroom for a while then walked over to his extensive cd collection. He grabbed a random cd and put it on. He was bored. And lonely. Josh was “busy”, Matt was grounded, his mom was working and wouldn't be back until one or two in the morning, he couldn't even hang out with Alex for Pete's sake!
The dark haired boy flopped down on his bed. Alex. He was acting so strange lately. What was up with him asking about that night in the field? That still confused him. At least he was actually talking to him again, right? Or maybe earlier that day was just a one-off. Oh well, he'd still got to talk to Alex and that was good enough for the Lebanese boy.
He smiled slightly and listened to the loud music playing through his bedroom speakers. He could only hope that things were gonna get better.
~
The blue-eyed boy raised his head from the steering wheel.
What was he going to do now? He honestly didn't know.
He had to tell Jack. Right?
Yes. It was the right thing to do.
But was it? Alex was his friend.
But so was Jack. But this would kill Jack.
But he'd told Alex he would tell Jack if he found out and he did. So now he had to tell Jack or else he would be going back on what he said.
And anyway, he couldn't keep this from Jack. The Lebanese boy deserved to know.
But Alex. Maybe he hadn't actually been doing it. Chris was a bit thick, what with all the drugs and all. He'd said he'd been there though and he had absolutely no reason to lie to Josh about this.
Josh groaned. He couldn't take this. He hated conflict and he hated being in the middle of his friends.
But was Alex really his friend though? The blonde hadn't been making much of an effort lately. Jack was clearly closer to Josh and the one that the blue-eyed boy was protective over.
If Josh told Jack about this he knew that the other boy would go mental. He would rage about this for hours and then probably break down in tears and Josh would have to comfort him. The blue-eyed boy didn't have a problem with comforting him, it's just, he didn't want to be the one to have caused it.
He wouldn't have though. It was Alex.
Fucking Alex. Why did he have to do this? Why did he have to go and get popular? Why couldn't he just be with Jack and be in love with him so everyone would be happy? Why the fuck did he have to go turn into Alex Fucking Sasskarth.
The English boy rubbed his temples. He was getting a headache. He really shouldn't be getting so stressed about this.
He jumped as a shrill ringing suddenly pierced the tense atmosphere that had set in his car.
He slowly looked over at his phone expecting to see Hayley's name flash across the screen but his stomach lurched when he saw that his first thought was so wrong.
It was Jack. Jack was calling him.
Josh honestly didn't know if he could pick up that innocent looking piece of plastic. He felt like if he did he would blurt out the truth about Alex. Which he couldn't do. Even if he decided that he had to tell the Lebanese boy he definitely couldn't do it over the phone. That would make things worse.
The blue-eyed boy shook his head to break himself from his thoughts, he realised that he had been sitting staring at the phone for around two minutes. It was a shock that Jack was still waiting for him to answer. Josh realised that he had to pick and and after taking a deep breath did so.
He opened his mouth to greet the older boy but before he could say anything he heard Jack's loud voice happy and joking. If Josh were more aware he would have realised that the other boy was sounding like his old self more, before all the Alex drama.
"Finally! Honestly Joshua, what were you doing, fucking your girlfriend or something? Wait. No, don't answer that. I actually don't want to know."
Josh sighed quietly, he shouldn't have picked up. This was worse than he thought. Jack sounded happy and he had no idea what was going on. He had to be told though. But it would crush him. Could he really bring this boy back to his depression?
He realised that he'd been thinking again for a bit too long so he shook his head again and realised that he had to speak or it would be weird, though it didn't seem like Jack noticed.
“Oh, sorry. I just...yeah. Um, no, I'm not with Hayley at the moment.”
He distractedly looked out his wind shield at the kids playing in the park across from where his car was parked. They looked so happy and carefree.
"Hey you okay, man?"
Josh closed his eyes and let out a breath, Jack was worried about him? He didn't know anything. The blue-eyed boy didn't want the other boy to be worried, he didn't need that right now.
“Yeah, yeah. I'm fine.”
"You sure? You don't sound so good."
Josh rubbed the back off his neck and made a weird sighing/groan noise then shrugged his shoulders. He honestly didn't want Jack to worry, he wanted him to be happy while he could.
“Yes, Jack. Really, I'm fine. I'm just, like, you know.” He couldn't think of a better excuse and hoped that Jack would just forget about it.
"Uh, okay, well, I'm here for you if you need me, all right?"
The English boy sighed and bit his lip, he couldn't believe that JACK was trying to comfort HIM.
“Yes, Jack. I know. Thank you.”
Josh was relieved when the older boy changed the subject, “The reason I called was I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out tonight or something? I have homework and it really sucks and its not due until like, next week, and we haven't done anything in a while so, uh, yeah.” He laughed, “You wanna hang?”
The English boy sucked in a breath, he could not hang out with Jack right now, if he did something would slip out, he knew it.
“Uh, well....that sounds nice, Jack, but um...I-can't. I have to uh....do stuff...” It sounded weak even to his ears but it was the best he could come up with.
He really needed headache tablets.
"Oh, okay then. That's cool, Josh. We can hang out later! No big deal."
The blue-eyed boy felt so guilty. But he knew it was for the best. He'd make it up to the Lebanese boy, hang out with him tomorrow or something, but it was too soon and he couldn't deal with this today. He just needed to sleep.
“All right, thanks Jack. Yeah, later, we can, uh, hang out later. I have to go....bye.”
The English boy heard a quiet, “Bye.” before hanging up.
He sat thinking in the silence in his car for a few more minutes before he came to his decision.
He had to tell Jack.
xxxxxx
A/N: Erm, I know this is pretty much a filler type chapter. But, hopefully you still enjoy it. Its kinda supposed to give a little insight on Josh's role in the story and how hard it is for him to be in the position that he's in. Or maybe you'll hate the chapter and not give a shit about Josh, and just want some drama, Jalex, or both. Either way, you should comment because your comments are pretty much the only kind of interaction I get online which is sad, so take pity on me! Thanks for reading!
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, sadly. Title goes to Bite My Tongue-You Me At Six, Cut goes to Rope-Foo Fighters
A/N: At the End
Masterpost
Chapter Twenty-Five
Jack chucked his pencil and fell back so he was lying on the floor of his bedroom. This homework was too fucking hard. Who cares what the value of X was? Exactly. No one.
He sighed and decided not to bother with it right now. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialled Josh's number figuring he'd just hang out with him instead of being responsible and getting work done. The dark haired boy lay there humming to himself while he listened to the ringing and waited for his friend to pick up.
Why was it taking so long for him to answer? Was he with Hayley? Probably. Jack smiled at how cute they were, even though it was kind of annoying that he barely got to see Josh any more.
Finally, the blue-eyed boy picked up. Before he could speak Jack said, “Finally! Honestly Joshua, what were you doing, fucking your girlfriend or something? Wait. No, don't answer that. I actually don't want to know.” Jack chuckled and scrunched up his nose, he didn't want to imagine his good friend going at it. Josh was pretty hot sure, but him and a girl? Gross.
When the other boy spoke he sounded really tired and distracted and instead of getting annoyed with Jack for making some dirty comment like he usually did, he just brushed it off. “Oh, sorry. I just....yeah. Um, no. I'm not with Hayley at the moment."
The Lebanese boy furrowed his eyebrows, was there something wrong with Josh? He decided to ask him since Josh always tried to cheer HIM up. “Hey, you okay man?”
The blue-eyed boy's voice didn't change, still sounding completely worn out he said, "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."
Jack bit his lip, still worried about the other boy, “You sure? You don't sound so good.”
"Yes, Jack. Really, I'm fine. I'm just, like, you know." He made a noise that sounded a bit like a sigh and Jack could imagine him shrugging his shoulders.
The Lebanese boy switched his cell phone to his other ear and decided to let it go. Whatever it was Josh clearly didn't want to talk about it. “Uh, okay, well, I'm here for you if you need me, all right?”
The English boy sounded pained when he next spoke, "Yes, Jack. I know. Thank you."
Jack was really worried now, but he changed the subject, “The reason I called was I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out tonight or something? I have homework and it really sucks and its not due until like, next week, and we haven't done anything in a while so, uh, yeah.” He laughed at how awkward he sounded, “You wanna hang?”
Josh sucked in a breath, when he spoke it sounded weird,"Uh, well.....that sounds nice, Jack, but um...I-can't. I have to uh...do stuff..." He trailed off at the end.
The older boy knew that Josh was lying, he really was a shit liar, but he didn't want to call him out on it because the English boy seemed kinda off and Jack wanted to respect that.
“Oh, okay then. That's cool, Josh. We can hang out later! No big deal.” He spoke a little too enthusiastically because he was a bit bummed, but when Josh spoke again he didn't even seem to notice.
"All right, thanks, Jack. Yeah, later, we can, uh, hang out later. I have to go....bye."
Josh sounded really uncomfortable and Jack bit his lip again speaking out a quick “bye” before hanging up.
He let out a frustrated sigh. Josh didn't want to hang out and something was clearly bugging him. Jack couldn't even help the younger boy because he wouldn't tell him what the thing was. Oh well, he'd probably tell in time.
Jack looked back at his homework and grimaced. Yeah, that wasn't going to happen tonight. He pushed the pile of papers and books into his bag and then chucked it into the usual place he chucked his backpack.
He grabbed his phone again and texted Matt to see what he was up to,
'Hey, you busy tonight? You wanna hang out?'
'Sorry dude, I can't. My fuckhead parents grounded me for the week cos they walked in on me and Melissa.'
'Aren't they used to you fucking random girls all the time?'
'Yeah, but like, we were having a family dinner gathering at the time and things were pretty intense with us. My nana heard things from my room and kinda freaked.'
'Dude! Gross! But can't you like, sneak out or something?'
'Well yeah, but it's probably better if I don't, I didn't hand in that history essay and the teacher threatened to give me more work if I don't hand it in by tomorrow. Sorry.'
'It's cool man. See you tomorrow.'
'Yeah, see you.'
Jack sighed frustratedly again. He threw his phone onto his bed.
What to do, what to do...hmm. He paced around his bedroom for a while then walked over to his extensive cd collection. He grabbed a random cd and put it on. He was bored. And lonely. Josh was “busy”, Matt was grounded, his mom was working and wouldn't be back until one or two in the morning, he couldn't even hang out with Alex for Pete's sake!
The dark haired boy flopped down on his bed. Alex. He was acting so strange lately. What was up with him asking about that night in the field? That still confused him. At least he was actually talking to him again, right? Or maybe earlier that day was just a one-off. Oh well, he'd still got to talk to Alex and that was good enough for the Lebanese boy.
He smiled slightly and listened to the loud music playing through his bedroom speakers. He could only hope that things were gonna get better.
~
The blue-eyed boy raised his head from the steering wheel.
What was he going to do now? He honestly didn't know.
He had to tell Jack. Right?
Yes. It was the right thing to do.
But was it? Alex was his friend.
But so was Jack. But this would kill Jack.
But he'd told Alex he would tell Jack if he found out and he did. So now he had to tell Jack or else he would be going back on what he said.
And anyway, he couldn't keep this from Jack. The Lebanese boy deserved to know.
But Alex. Maybe he hadn't actually been doing it. Chris was a bit thick, what with all the drugs and all. He'd said he'd been there though and he had absolutely no reason to lie to Josh about this.
Josh groaned. He couldn't take this. He hated conflict and he hated being in the middle of his friends.
But was Alex really his friend though? The blonde hadn't been making much of an effort lately. Jack was clearly closer to Josh and the one that the blue-eyed boy was protective over.
If Josh told Jack about this he knew that the other boy would go mental. He would rage about this for hours and then probably break down in tears and Josh would have to comfort him. The blue-eyed boy didn't have a problem with comforting him, it's just, he didn't want to be the one to have caused it.
He wouldn't have though. It was Alex.
Fucking Alex. Why did he have to do this? Why did he have to go and get popular? Why couldn't he just be with Jack and be in love with him so everyone would be happy? Why the fuck did he have to go turn into Alex Fucking Sasskarth.
The English boy rubbed his temples. He was getting a headache. He really shouldn't be getting so stressed about this.
He jumped as a shrill ringing suddenly pierced the tense atmosphere that had set in his car.
He slowly looked over at his phone expecting to see Hayley's name flash across the screen but his stomach lurched when he saw that his first thought was so wrong.
It was Jack. Jack was calling him.
Josh honestly didn't know if he could pick up that innocent looking piece of plastic. He felt like if he did he would blurt out the truth about Alex. Which he couldn't do. Even if he decided that he had to tell the Lebanese boy he definitely couldn't do it over the phone. That would make things worse.
The blue-eyed boy shook his head to break himself from his thoughts, he realised that he had been sitting staring at the phone for around two minutes. It was a shock that Jack was still waiting for him to answer. Josh realised that he had to pick and and after taking a deep breath did so.
He opened his mouth to greet the older boy but before he could say anything he heard Jack's loud voice happy and joking. If Josh were more aware he would have realised that the other boy was sounding like his old self more, before all the Alex drama.
"Finally! Honestly Joshua, what were you doing, fucking your girlfriend or something? Wait. No, don't answer that. I actually don't want to know."
Josh sighed quietly, he shouldn't have picked up. This was worse than he thought. Jack sounded happy and he had no idea what was going on. He had to be told though. But it would crush him. Could he really bring this boy back to his depression?
He realised that he'd been thinking again for a bit too long so he shook his head again and realised that he had to speak or it would be weird, though it didn't seem like Jack noticed.
“Oh, sorry. I just...yeah. Um, no, I'm not with Hayley at the moment.”
He distractedly looked out his wind shield at the kids playing in the park across from where his car was parked. They looked so happy and carefree.
"Hey you okay, man?"
Josh closed his eyes and let out a breath, Jack was worried about him? He didn't know anything. The blue-eyed boy didn't want the other boy to be worried, he didn't need that right now.
“Yeah, yeah. I'm fine.”
"You sure? You don't sound so good."
Josh rubbed the back off his neck and made a weird sighing/groan noise then shrugged his shoulders. He honestly didn't want Jack to worry, he wanted him to be happy while he could.
“Yes, Jack. Really, I'm fine. I'm just, like, you know.” He couldn't think of a better excuse and hoped that Jack would just forget about it.
"Uh, okay, well, I'm here for you if you need me, all right?"
The English boy sighed and bit his lip, he couldn't believe that JACK was trying to comfort HIM.
“Yes, Jack. I know. Thank you.”
Josh was relieved when the older boy changed the subject, “The reason I called was I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out tonight or something? I have homework and it really sucks and its not due until like, next week, and we haven't done anything in a while so, uh, yeah.” He laughed, “You wanna hang?”
The English boy sucked in a breath, he could not hang out with Jack right now, if he did something would slip out, he knew it.
“Uh, well....that sounds nice, Jack, but um...I-can't. I have to uh....do stuff...” It sounded weak even to his ears but it was the best he could come up with.
He really needed headache tablets.
"Oh, okay then. That's cool, Josh. We can hang out later! No big deal."
The blue-eyed boy felt so guilty. But he knew it was for the best. He'd make it up to the Lebanese boy, hang out with him tomorrow or something, but it was too soon and he couldn't deal with this today. He just needed to sleep.
“All right, thanks Jack. Yeah, later, we can, uh, hang out later. I have to go....bye.”
The English boy heard a quiet, “Bye.” before hanging up.
He sat thinking in the silence in his car for a few more minutes before he came to his decision.
He had to tell Jack.
xxxxxx
A/N: Erm, I know this is pretty much a filler type chapter. But, hopefully you still enjoy it. Its kinda supposed to give a little insight on Josh's role in the story and how hard it is for him to be in the position that he's in. Or maybe you'll hate the chapter and not give a shit about Josh, and just want some drama, Jalex, or both. Either way, you should comment because your comments are pretty much the only kind of interaction I get online which is sad, so take pity on me! Thanks for reading!