I type at 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language.
I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.
Mr. Hedberg --
Your death came as a complete surprise to me. I couldn't help but be devestated. I'd spent the whole day lavishing in the passing of a tormented soul in Terri Schiavo, and her timely passing into heaven, and the lord made a cruel mistake. I thought that He mixed you and the Pope up. It wasn't your day to go. You had until 2053, it says so on your damn contract. You, just like your vegetative counterpart in death, caused endless hours of laughter and smiles. Your humor was unmatchable and your acute eye was a piercing and inflective look into our societal bounds. I know you said that "I haven't slept for ten days, 'cuz that would be too long." but now, good friendly crackhead buddy, may you rest in peace for eternity. Our smiles and stomach muscles will miss you.
Perhaps, you'll get your frozen banana now.
<333.
Mr. Hedberg --
Your death came as a complete surprise to me. I couldn't help but be devestated. I'd spent the whole day lavishing in the passing of a tormented soul in Terri Schiavo, and her timely passing into heaven, and the lord made a cruel mistake. I thought that He mixed you and the Pope up. It wasn't your day to go. You had until 2053, it says so on your damn contract. You, just like your vegetative counterpart in death, caused endless hours of laughter and smiles. Your humor was unmatchable and your acute eye was a piercing and inflective look into our societal bounds. I know you said that "I haven't slept for ten days, 'cuz that would be too long." but now, good friendly crackhead buddy, may you rest in peace for eternity. Our smiles and stomach muscles will miss you.
Perhaps, you'll get your frozen banana now.
<333.