(no subject)
Knowing one thing and doing another. Sounds like what was taught during Year One's Social Psychology class - cognitive dissonance. Also happens to be what I've been experiencing of late, but on a larger scale. Denying my own feelings has made me feel so confused and unexpectedly numb. I have expected myself to let my thoughts run wild and feel upset all the time, and just as expected, I'm not in control of those negative thoughts. But what's unexpected is how numb I get amidst all these. Sometimes when I think about us, about what had come to me as a rude shock, I go blank and feel nothing. Mostly I just struggle with stopping myself from doing things that my mind tell me are wrong. It's like my heart and mind have this internal war and it's wearing me out.
Oh yes, I've found the word to describe how I feel right now - weary.
Oh yes, I've found the word to describe how I feel right now - weary.