the skibby
so here's my life.
success success success.
failure failure failure.
its kind of like the stock market...
only i can't sell.
i just have to keep losing if i'm losing.
i did so well this first semster.
i tried so hard.
and i got through it by the hair on my chinny chin chin and i thought i was going to there towards the end.
and i got my grades, and i did fucking awesome...
and then i realized i had to do the same fucking thing.
again.
only this time it was going to be a lot harder.
PNMASPDFUASUDFUUUFMMMEETTTTT.
that was my motivation.
plummeting.
i dropped photography.
that asignment fucking sucked.
i quit newspaper.
tonight i quit the snowboard team.
i'm done snowboarding when i don't want to snowboard.
i am done riding park when i don't wnat to ride park.
i am doing putting myself through hell when i am not getting shit out of it.
i love snowboarding.
in powder.
on nice days.
because i am not hardcore and motivated.
i am not happy all the time and ready to fucking throw myself down a flight of stairs.
and you gotta be.
and you gotta have that additude.
and sometimes...i don't.
sometimes i do.
but most of the time i really really don't.
but...when you are...you have so much fun.
and when you're not...
you feel like a fucking loser.
weirrd.
i think i'm okay.
i don't have to go to school until third period.
but i think i'm okay.
i think i've got something under my belt for cushion.
i think maybe i could...
expand my horizons?
deversify.
keep printing pictures off my wonderful negitives.
continue to work hard in amer. cultures and history.
oh boy, that movie.
what a show.
i suck.
but everyone else is going to do great on film!
work hard in math.
i think i'll be okay.
i think i'll make it.
sometimes i wish i were happier.
i wish i didn't chase after the boys.
like i am so very badly right now.
thinking about last year at this time is so crazy.
a year ago.
tyler, snowboarding in POWDER, mexico, chuck and all that trouble...weird.
weird weird weird weird.
getting older is so weird.
i feel like things are becoming clear.
and time is becoing more definate.
and people are taking a different shape.
people you don't know are easier to talk to than people you do.
unless you really know them.
i'm closing off those awkward teenages years.
that one, that last one that went by in a flash.
in a drink.
and a toke.
whatever. the summer.
oh the summer.
how i hate to reminece.
how i am terrified of this summer.
last summer was....
the fucking shit.
nothing will ever be like that again...
so what about next summer?
what's that one going to be like?
i guess i'll find out before i know it.
before i know it i'll be reading this, 2 years later saying...
holy shit.
who was i back then?
-kayla.
success success success.
failure failure failure.
its kind of like the stock market...
only i can't sell.
i just have to keep losing if i'm losing.
i did so well this first semster.
i tried so hard.
and i got through it by the hair on my chinny chin chin and i thought i was going to there towards the end.
and i got my grades, and i did fucking awesome...
and then i realized i had to do the same fucking thing.
again.
only this time it was going to be a lot harder.
PNMASPDFUASUDFUUUFMMMEETTTTT.
that was my motivation.
plummeting.
i dropped photography.
that asignment fucking sucked.
i quit newspaper.
tonight i quit the snowboard team.
i'm done snowboarding when i don't want to snowboard.
i am done riding park when i don't wnat to ride park.
i am doing putting myself through hell when i am not getting shit out of it.
i love snowboarding.
in powder.
on nice days.
because i am not hardcore and motivated.
i am not happy all the time and ready to fucking throw myself down a flight of stairs.
and you gotta be.
and you gotta have that additude.
and sometimes...i don't.
sometimes i do.
but most of the time i really really don't.
but...when you are...you have so much fun.
and when you're not...
you feel like a fucking loser.
weirrd.
i think i'm okay.
i don't have to go to school until third period.
but i think i'm okay.
i think i've got something under my belt for cushion.
i think maybe i could...
expand my horizons?
deversify.
keep printing pictures off my wonderful negitives.
continue to work hard in amer. cultures and history.
oh boy, that movie.
what a show.
i suck.
but everyone else is going to do great on film!
work hard in math.
i think i'll be okay.
i think i'll make it.
sometimes i wish i were happier.
i wish i didn't chase after the boys.
like i am so very badly right now.
thinking about last year at this time is so crazy.
a year ago.
tyler, snowboarding in POWDER, mexico, chuck and all that trouble...weird.
weird weird weird weird.
getting older is so weird.
i feel like things are becoming clear.
and time is becoing more definate.
and people are taking a different shape.
people you don't know are easier to talk to than people you do.
unless you really know them.
i'm closing off those awkward teenages years.
that one, that last one that went by in a flash.
in a drink.
and a toke.
whatever. the summer.
oh the summer.
how i hate to reminece.
how i am terrified of this summer.
last summer was....
the fucking shit.
nothing will ever be like that again...
so what about next summer?
what's that one going to be like?
i guess i'll find out before i know it.
before i know it i'll be reading this, 2 years later saying...
holy shit.
who was i back then?
-kayla.