friends.......been a while
i was just thinking about how tonight is another OC party at sam-j's and that big ol group of buddies is gonna be there to watch that dumb show----ill watch it too, id rather be watching sex in the city or laguna beach, but ill deal, i just dont knwo everybody's names on the OC......anyways, i was thinking about how for the passt 5 or so months that ive been in a relationship, in drama, working, and taking tennis lessons, i havent really had time to hang out with friends...at all....a week or two ago when i hung out with the girls for the first time in forever, i realized that something wasnt right in that current situation....i felt kinda out-of-place, because i hadnt hung with them in such a long time, that i didnt feel as comfortable as i used to....lately ive been hanging out with friends more than i had been before, and its a good thing....i realized that its my senior year, we only have 4 months left of school, and half of these people i probably wont see again unless its by chance...i hate to say it, but its true....some people keep in touch, and others dont.....over the past few months ive lost touch with a lot of people who have been close to me....not necessarily by choice, but by cirumstance....i wish i could be close with everybody, but i learned a lesson last year that you cant be friends with everybody, because then u have no room for anyone to be close.....some of the closest friendships that ive lost, have had a huge impact on my life, and those people know it too....the other day, when i had my last play...ever.. dama showed up to watch me....all by herself....i dont think she knows how much that one thing meant to me....but it did mean a lot..... i have people in my life that i know are going to college with me, so ill have tons of chances to stay buds with...no prob, but there are others that arent going with me, and im scared that all they will be in my life are memories and long lost inside jokes.....i dont want that to happen, but things happen all the time in everybody's life that we have no control over....i know now that for the rest of the school year...im gonna have fun---at least try to, and be exactly what i am---a high schooler....and ill be immature if i want, ill be a bitch if im in a bad mood, and ill be funny when im feeling silly.....ill be what i feel like being when i feel like being it....take it or leave it.........i want to look back at these times and smile......i know SB this year is gonna be a blast....ft.mizzle with the girlies.....GUY-NO all flippin week ---yeaheeyeah...i have high expectations for SB just because i knwo that the group thats going will have fun no matter what...i jsut hope nobody is on the rag---cause pms is no good on SB.....lol....i think there is only like 40 some odd days left till SB....im ready, well not really, i have a lot of working out and tanning to do if i want to keep up with the chicas im going with.....lol....in the words of kanye "all the mocha-lattes, you gotta do pilates" no joke!