(no subject)
LA LA LA...Ok...this whole Amber Matt thing is killing me...yesterday he lied about it and I don't even wanna tell the whole story because I dunno, it was so painful and it still is! GAH! he did't cheat on me...but he lied about someone being at his house...and he broke 2 promises...Just because she is pregnant don't mean shit...she's getting rid of it anyway. At least that's what she says, I am not going to believe her till she gets it done. Matt has to go with her today to get an ultra sound...YEAH I AM DIEING INSIDE! I fucking hate this! I'm sick of crying and that's all I seem to be doing no dadays..I can pose like I'm happy a lot, but inside I am burning! I feel like my insides are on fire! Allt he time..and I just want to crawl into a hole and die...I didn't know what to do last night..I wandered around outside his house for like 3 hours...Then i found Mark at rally's and asked him if he could send Matt outside again. It was horrible..I want all of this to be done with! I don't want her around him! I don't want them hanging out! EVER! Is that so unfair of me to ask?! I don't think so...I don't want to cry anymore AHHHHJKFHkj;sdth/sriot89p e5078iv hyzdukt7d8bydrih8j i