from max - say anything
November 3rd, 2005 - A Message from Max
Greetings party people. I am locked away in a secure compound in Houston, TX, working hard on the issues that have caused me to cancel the last two tours. Suffice to say they were canceled for good reason; you probably understand that having to drop off our first headlining tour, subsequently a tour with my favorite band ever (STD) and in general disappointing you guys in something I don’t feel great about. However these obstacles were merely a price paid to reach certain realizations about me having to be medicated all the time. If your goal is to have us be able to healthily and consistently tour and make a killer follow up to our record then BARE WITH ME. We are already throwing exciting ideas about who you’ll find us touring with, the format of the new record, etc.
The thing about being medicated or psycho-analyzed is that it’s a matter of opinion: some people believe medication causes more harm than good while other choose to seek help. However, with someone who has my disorder, you can start hallucinating and missing sleep and pretty much will throw yourself into life threatening situations without it. I’m over the mentality of trying to be more than human when in reality taking responsibility and making sure your priories are straight is the strongest you can be. You guys have to understand I don’t miss tours and end up in terrible situations with people I truly love in a casual way. I was sorely mistaken but I am not selfish, just LEARNING. I stopped taking my meds so I could be better at letting my true self out on tour and to the people close to me’..it had the opposite effect and finally I learned a lesson THE HARD WAY. THE ROCK HARD WAY. THE MUSCULAR, THROBBING’opps sorry. Got carried away there. Anyhoo.
You see, the other times I have had these manic episodes, I was consumed by a feeling of being overly empowered, like life was revealing itself to me in some amazing way or I could get lots of shit done etc etc. However, this time I stayed up two nights and thought over the course of the day that I was: a) dead b) in hell c) the last three years of my life became a junkie on the street d) more horrendous crap. I’m not going to get into it, but I ended up freestyle rapping on a corner in Brooklyn and getting karate kicked in the chest. I thought that my closest friend was dead and I was responsible. That was terrible. It was enough to teach me I have no choice but to seek help through medication for the rest of my life and that, though I am still an advocate for its legalization, pot, even when smoked every so often, is an extreme detriment to me and something I can’t fuck with, nor any drug (including alcohol). Now this may seem like hypocrisy coming from the man who wrote a whole album about wandering around in a stoned daze, but let’s be honest. It’s not the most self empowered album, is it (until the last song, which is only the first chapter of being grown up)? Some people can do it forever. Some people shouldn’t ever do it and some people have their period of experimentation but I have to draw the line and end it finally with commitment.
Sometimes as a music fan you want the artist to be able to BE that piece of them that was portrayed on the record, but often learn things about life that make them look at it in a whole new perspective. It doesn’t mean I can’t look back and relate to the struggles that inspired ‘‘Is a Real Boy’. However, since the record I experienced (still am, for better or worse) true love (this is still my favorite person), collaborated with my musical heroes, went on amazing tours, went through several hospitalizations and faced my demons. I have come out stronger, happier person who is extremely secure. I may appreciate life more but I am not some space cadet now. I still strongly feel like society, evil, assholes and wrongdoers need healthy verbal ass kicking (the new stuff I’m writing isn’t any less biting or aggressive) but I am driven by hope and faith as much as cynicalism and resilience. This mentality is going to reveal itself in my new songs, as one may sense a lot of the romanticism of our earlier material providing the foundation for the social criticism and dark humor of our newer stuff. Trust me, I’m not selling out, I’m just changing, day-by-day. By day. By day by day. By day.
Anyways, I’m excited for you guys to hear Say Anything’..was a Real Boy, and if you already have it, give your friends a listen, even burn it for them. Hopefully you guys will help us out by having your friends by the two disc combo’..i think it looks quite pretty. Please keep in mind the newer disc, though containing songs a few of you already heard, is drastically mixed and mastered and sounds kick ass’.they sound like totally new songs, at least to me, and ‘Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too’ is almost totally redone.
Soon we’ll be rounding the weirdo brigade for our first headlining tour and boy are we excited. We’re gonna taper down the ticket prices and it’s gonna be a show, not just us playing music for you’.prepare to be entertained and dance and scream your asses off. Cuz if you aren’t, I’s gonna make you. I’ll be out of this place in around a month or so and back on aol to field questions and talk to you guys. Until then, I am deeply sorry and hope you still believe in me because I can’t wait for our blessed bloody reunion.
LOVE, MAXIM
Greetings party people. I am locked away in a secure compound in Houston, TX, working hard on the issues that have caused me to cancel the last two tours. Suffice to say they were canceled for good reason; you probably understand that having to drop off our first headlining tour, subsequently a tour with my favorite band ever (STD) and in general disappointing you guys in something I don’t feel great about. However these obstacles were merely a price paid to reach certain realizations about me having to be medicated all the time. If your goal is to have us be able to healthily and consistently tour and make a killer follow up to our record then BARE WITH ME. We are already throwing exciting ideas about who you’ll find us touring with, the format of the new record, etc.
The thing about being medicated or psycho-analyzed is that it’s a matter of opinion: some people believe medication causes more harm than good while other choose to seek help. However, with someone who has my disorder, you can start hallucinating and missing sleep and pretty much will throw yourself into life threatening situations without it. I’m over the mentality of trying to be more than human when in reality taking responsibility and making sure your priories are straight is the strongest you can be. You guys have to understand I don’t miss tours and end up in terrible situations with people I truly love in a casual way. I was sorely mistaken but I am not selfish, just LEARNING. I stopped taking my meds so I could be better at letting my true self out on tour and to the people close to me’..it had the opposite effect and finally I learned a lesson THE HARD WAY. THE ROCK HARD WAY. THE MUSCULAR, THROBBING’opps sorry. Got carried away there. Anyhoo.
You see, the other times I have had these manic episodes, I was consumed by a feeling of being overly empowered, like life was revealing itself to me in some amazing way or I could get lots of shit done etc etc. However, this time I stayed up two nights and thought over the course of the day that I was: a) dead b) in hell c) the last three years of my life became a junkie on the street d) more horrendous crap. I’m not going to get into it, but I ended up freestyle rapping on a corner in Brooklyn and getting karate kicked in the chest. I thought that my closest friend was dead and I was responsible. That was terrible. It was enough to teach me I have no choice but to seek help through medication for the rest of my life and that, though I am still an advocate for its legalization, pot, even when smoked every so often, is an extreme detriment to me and something I can’t fuck with, nor any drug (including alcohol). Now this may seem like hypocrisy coming from the man who wrote a whole album about wandering around in a stoned daze, but let’s be honest. It’s not the most self empowered album, is it (until the last song, which is only the first chapter of being grown up)? Some people can do it forever. Some people shouldn’t ever do it and some people have their period of experimentation but I have to draw the line and end it finally with commitment.
Sometimes as a music fan you want the artist to be able to BE that piece of them that was portrayed on the record, but often learn things about life that make them look at it in a whole new perspective. It doesn’t mean I can’t look back and relate to the struggles that inspired ‘‘Is a Real Boy’. However, since the record I experienced (still am, for better or worse) true love (this is still my favorite person), collaborated with my musical heroes, went on amazing tours, went through several hospitalizations and faced my demons. I have come out stronger, happier person who is extremely secure. I may appreciate life more but I am not some space cadet now. I still strongly feel like society, evil, assholes and wrongdoers need healthy verbal ass kicking (the new stuff I’m writing isn’t any less biting or aggressive) but I am driven by hope and faith as much as cynicalism and resilience. This mentality is going to reveal itself in my new songs, as one may sense a lot of the romanticism of our earlier material providing the foundation for the social criticism and dark humor of our newer stuff. Trust me, I’m not selling out, I’m just changing, day-by-day. By day. By day by day. By day.
Anyways, I’m excited for you guys to hear Say Anything’..was a Real Boy, and if you already have it, give your friends a listen, even burn it for them. Hopefully you guys will help us out by having your friends by the two disc combo’..i think it looks quite pretty. Please keep in mind the newer disc, though containing songs a few of you already heard, is drastically mixed and mastered and sounds kick ass’.they sound like totally new songs, at least to me, and ‘Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too’ is almost totally redone.
Soon we’ll be rounding the weirdo brigade for our first headlining tour and boy are we excited. We’re gonna taper down the ticket prices and it’s gonna be a show, not just us playing music for you’.prepare to be entertained and dance and scream your asses off. Cuz if you aren’t, I’s gonna make you. I’ll be out of this place in around a month or so and back on aol to field questions and talk to you guys. Until then, I am deeply sorry and hope you still believe in me because I can’t wait for our blessed bloody reunion.
LOVE, MAXIM