It's been a while.. well here goes nothing
I haven't been on this site in 2 months. Sorry friends. I've been pretty busy keeping in touch with people on my myspace account (www.myspace.com/denial27)... but things have slowed down a bit over there and I think now is a great time to get things rolling with livejournal again.
Where do I begin? I guess I could start with congradulating myself on being single for almost 6 months now. That's 6 months of abstinance my friends. No sex. No co-dependancy on a female. You learn a lot about yourself when you're not focusing on someone else. I needed this 6 months. I probably need more than 6 months. I've been reading a lot of books on spirituality, relationship dynamics, philosophy, psychology, and even some self-help literature. Slowly I'm learning how to be happy on my own... how to avoid negativity and approach life from a positive point of view. It's really hard to completely change your perspective... especially after all the horrible things I've had to endure throughout the summer (late July / early August were incredibly difficult financially and emotionally) but when things aren't right, all you can really do is work harder at turning them around.
On August 10th, I flew to Pennsylvania to visit my family for a week. It turned out to be much more than just a family visit. I played 5 shows that week. I did solo acoustic sets at coffee houses and bars... and the responce I got really helped me believe in myself again. When I got back to LA... I realized this city is not my home. I have a lot of friends out here that I love very much, but that is not enough to make this home.
In December, I will get on a plane and fly back to Pennsylvania where I will start my brand new life. I don't know if I will ever return to Los Angeles. I'm not going to think that far ahead right now. I've found it's best to take life one day at a time. It sure as hell beats worrying about where I'm going to be 5 years from now. I have goals, and I have dreams... and as long as I keep working at them (no matter where I'm living)... I'm sure I will see them to fruition. I have been a fighter since the day I was born. The only thing I was ever lacking was confidence, and I think now I've pretty much got that nailed.
So what will I be doing for the next 2 months while I'm still out here? I guess that first and foremost I will be finishing up my final credit at CSU Dominguez Hills and completing my final board exam to get my Bachelors degree. That's huge. Second, I will continue working on my album, as well as writing/producing songs for some other artists. Third, I have been keeping myself busy by working at Starbucks in Van Nuys. I love that job. The pay is ridiculously bad, but it's a very easy enjoyable job where I get to interact with new people all day long. I also adore my co-workers, they are some of the most genuine people I've met around here. Finally, I will have to find a way to say goodbye to everyone I love before I depart on December 1st.
Where do I begin? I guess I could start with congradulating myself on being single for almost 6 months now. That's 6 months of abstinance my friends. No sex. No co-dependancy on a female. You learn a lot about yourself when you're not focusing on someone else. I needed this 6 months. I probably need more than 6 months. I've been reading a lot of books on spirituality, relationship dynamics, philosophy, psychology, and even some self-help literature. Slowly I'm learning how to be happy on my own... how to avoid negativity and approach life from a positive point of view. It's really hard to completely change your perspective... especially after all the horrible things I've had to endure throughout the summer (late July / early August were incredibly difficult financially and emotionally) but when things aren't right, all you can really do is work harder at turning them around.
On August 10th, I flew to Pennsylvania to visit my family for a week. It turned out to be much more than just a family visit. I played 5 shows that week. I did solo acoustic sets at coffee houses and bars... and the responce I got really helped me believe in myself again. When I got back to LA... I realized this city is not my home. I have a lot of friends out here that I love very much, but that is not enough to make this home.
In December, I will get on a plane and fly back to Pennsylvania where I will start my brand new life. I don't know if I will ever return to Los Angeles. I'm not going to think that far ahead right now. I've found it's best to take life one day at a time. It sure as hell beats worrying about where I'm going to be 5 years from now. I have goals, and I have dreams... and as long as I keep working at them (no matter where I'm living)... I'm sure I will see them to fruition. I have been a fighter since the day I was born. The only thing I was ever lacking was confidence, and I think now I've pretty much got that nailed.
So what will I be doing for the next 2 months while I'm still out here? I guess that first and foremost I will be finishing up my final credit at CSU Dominguez Hills and completing my final board exam to get my Bachelors degree. That's huge. Second, I will continue working on my album, as well as writing/producing songs for some other artists. Third, I have been keeping myself busy by working at Starbucks in Van Nuys. I love that job. The pay is ridiculously bad, but it's a very easy enjoyable job where I get to interact with new people all day long. I also adore my co-workers, they are some of the most genuine people I've met around here. Finally, I will have to find a way to say goodbye to everyone I love before I depart on December 1st.