mother's day
I don't understand Mother's Day. Are we suppose to celebrate and appreciate all the women that have given birth, or is it only for the nurturing, nuclear-type mothers? I never show my mom appreciation because she is a greedy cow so am I expected for one day out of the year to "pretend" like she is a pivital influence on my life with a mass-produced greeting card and a bouqet of roses that were probably genetically engineered anyway? It seems to me that the whole holiday is exploiting the sons and daughters of the world. Someone is making money off of selling you a silly card, folded in half, over priced, and printed with a phoney, cliche piece of shit message.
Remember that women in the news that drowned her children one-by-one in the bath tub because God told her to? Her name was Andrea Yates. Somebody find me her address because I would like to send her a Mother's Day card. Hallmarks slogan is When you care enough to send the very best, so I'll be sure to pick out the most colorful Hallmark with that little crown printed on the back. That's how you know it's a Hallmark. She'll read the factory-printed message to herself over and over and she'll know that it came from the bottom of my heart. Such sincerity.
I just don't understand it. I move that we create a holiday called "Overlooked Teenage High School Drop Out Who's Mother Can't Take Enough Responsibility For Her Own Life To Take Care of Him Anymore Appreciation Day." Do you think that is too many words? We might have difficulty fitting it on a calender. I've been thinking of ideas for messages that we can print inside the cards. To my son on this day. I was going to buy you a gift but I realized I was out of liquor. By the way, you owe me $1.95 for this card. I've been working on others also. My beloved son...although I'm not able to feed you, or supply you with a safe place to live, I just want you to know that there are plenty of older men out there that are more than willing to let you stay with them for sexual favors.
With that said, I'll admit my hypocricy in advance because on Sunday afternoon I'll call my mother, speak to her with an enthusiastic tone, tell her how excited I am to see her again, and wish her a wonderful Mother's Day. She'll tell me that she loves me, and "I love you too" I'll say. I don't see the point though, I guess, because she'll assume that I am just calling for a favor or for money as if Im like her or something. I know that in her imagination I am forever indebted to her because she didn't divorce my father all those years that he abused her so that I would have a happy family! Moron. The truth of the matter is that she doesn't know what truth is anymore.
She called me the other day to discuss the fate of my car now that I'm living in Chicago. I told her that I had plans to sell it to my brother's friend. She told me that it was a bad idea, and that I should let her take it to Seattle with her when she moves so that I'll have a car when I move back to California. When she says California, she really means Seattle, because she thinks she is going to convince me to go live with her. I suppose she'll make some sort of attempt at reconcilliation and try to provide me with a childhood. Everything she says, according to her, is right and my thoughts hold no validity because she doesn't listen to them anyway. "No, Mom, listen. I decided to sell my car because having money in Chicago will be more useful to me than you driving my car in Washington." This comment really upset her because I exposed the truth as if I pulled her pants down in front of television cameras. She thinks that I owe it to her, after all she did for me, to give her my car to take to Seattle so that she has something to drive. In her own words, that is.
But honestly, 1. I just don't understand Mother's Day. 2. I don't understand God. And 3. I don't understand greeting cards. All is not lost on me though, for I have come to one conclusion. When you put those three concepts together in the ideal order, the result is my mother drowning me in the bath tub due to a Divine message from Hallmark. "When you care enough to send the very best."
Remember that women in the news that drowned her children one-by-one in the bath tub because God told her to? Her name was Andrea Yates. Somebody find me her address because I would like to send her a Mother's Day card. Hallmarks slogan is When you care enough to send the very best, so I'll be sure to pick out the most colorful Hallmark with that little crown printed on the back. That's how you know it's a Hallmark. She'll read the factory-printed message to herself over and over and she'll know that it came from the bottom of my heart. Such sincerity.
I just don't understand it. I move that we create a holiday called "Overlooked Teenage High School Drop Out Who's Mother Can't Take Enough Responsibility For Her Own Life To Take Care of Him Anymore Appreciation Day." Do you think that is too many words? We might have difficulty fitting it on a calender. I've been thinking of ideas for messages that we can print inside the cards. To my son on this day. I was going to buy you a gift but I realized I was out of liquor. By the way, you owe me $1.95 for this card. I've been working on others also. My beloved son...although I'm not able to feed you, or supply you with a safe place to live, I just want you to know that there are plenty of older men out there that are more than willing to let you stay with them for sexual favors.
With that said, I'll admit my hypocricy in advance because on Sunday afternoon I'll call my mother, speak to her with an enthusiastic tone, tell her how excited I am to see her again, and wish her a wonderful Mother's Day. She'll tell me that she loves me, and "I love you too" I'll say. I don't see the point though, I guess, because she'll assume that I am just calling for a favor or for money as if Im like her or something. I know that in her imagination I am forever indebted to her because she didn't divorce my father all those years that he abused her so that I would have a happy family! Moron. The truth of the matter is that she doesn't know what truth is anymore.
She called me the other day to discuss the fate of my car now that I'm living in Chicago. I told her that I had plans to sell it to my brother's friend. She told me that it was a bad idea, and that I should let her take it to Seattle with her when she moves so that I'll have a car when I move back to California. When she says California, she really means Seattle, because she thinks she is going to convince me to go live with her. I suppose she'll make some sort of attempt at reconcilliation and try to provide me with a childhood. Everything she says, according to her, is right and my thoughts hold no validity because she doesn't listen to them anyway. "No, Mom, listen. I decided to sell my car because having money in Chicago will be more useful to me than you driving my car in Washington." This comment really upset her because I exposed the truth as if I pulled her pants down in front of television cameras. She thinks that I owe it to her, after all she did for me, to give her my car to take to Seattle so that she has something to drive. In her own words, that is.
But honestly, 1. I just don't understand Mother's Day. 2. I don't understand God. And 3. I don't understand greeting cards. All is not lost on me though, for I have come to one conclusion. When you put those three concepts together in the ideal order, the result is my mother drowning me in the bath tub due to a Divine message from Hallmark. "When you care enough to send the very best."