What was real? What was delusion?
As I've probably written before, I feel grateful for the new friends and chances I now have over the past few weeks. But, I still wonder about one thing.
The people that used to be an integral part of my life, and no longer are for one reason or another...I have to wonder, were they real, or were they there out of pity (or whatever other reason)? I know it's impossible to get an answer without getting an answer from them directly.
I'm not so much worried about my time with them being all for naught, of course. I know friends come and go. But, it's just the circumstances with a few people I no longer speak to make me wonder a little. The sad thing is that I have to look at one of them almost every day, and the temptation is strong to ask.
And if it turned out to be pity? Well, so be it. Not like it'd ruin what I have now. And I'm the wiser for knowing what to do. I wouldn't want to go back, for sure. I'd much rather have now with the people that count for me now, and appreciate what I do for them. Of course, the big difference is that I've learned how to appreciate THEM a lot more.
The people that used to be an integral part of my life, and no longer are for one reason or another...I have to wonder, were they real, or were they there out of pity (or whatever other reason)? I know it's impossible to get an answer without getting an answer from them directly.
I'm not so much worried about my time with them being all for naught, of course. I know friends come and go. But, it's just the circumstances with a few people I no longer speak to make me wonder a little. The sad thing is that I have to look at one of them almost every day, and the temptation is strong to ask.
And if it turned out to be pity? Well, so be it. Not like it'd ruin what I have now. And I'm the wiser for knowing what to do. I wouldn't want to go back, for sure. I'd much rather have now with the people that count for me now, and appreciate what I do for them. Of course, the big difference is that I've learned how to appreciate THEM a lot more.