A Revelation.
You know, sometimes you just get so pissed off. Like I was tonight. I was so mad, I couldn't force myself to think about anything else, beside stupid, petty things. As I was driving tonight, all the way home, and we're talking an hour here...I was just so pissed off I could barely see straight. I dropped Catherine and Jimmy off, and drove down Arnoldtown road, still fuming and trying to sort out my many angry thoughts, not even paying attention to the road, when out of the side of my eye I saw an ambulance, lights and siren on, coming toward me at about a hundred miles an hour as I was in the middle of the road. And then it hit me. No, not the ambulance. A little bit of perspective.
As I caught my breath and continued to drive home, shaking, I realized: "wow, I almost just died. Right there. In one minute, it all would've been over." Thinking about it further, I realized again: "wait a minute. Someone, whoever is in that ambulance, might be dying right now."
And all the anger is not worth it.
So you know what?
I'm finished.
I'm finished with fake, manipulative people who are only concerned with looking out for themselves. I'm finished with people who are so insecure, that they constantly say and do things to make the other people around them feel insecure and unsure- just like them. I'm sure some of you are probably thinking your same old thoughts right now, "oh, she's just a bitch, or being judgmental, etc.", but you know what? I refuse to let you make me insecure.
I'm sick of people who are concerned only about themselves, and their problems. People who decide to do things, only when it's convenient for them. Or they only want to hang out with you only when they have nothing else better to do. I'll just go ahead and throw it out there- yeah, maybe I am "the mom," who listens to everyone's issues, etc., and that has never really bothered me before. But after shit just gets thrown back into your face over and over again by these people who don't even stop to think to themselves "hey, maybe she has something going on that might be more important", it gets old. And I'm finished.
And you know what made me realize all of this, more than anything?
My friends. My real, true friends. People whom I could call for help and not feel indebted to them for the rest of my life. People whom I can depend on. People who are honest with me, even if sometimes that means having a disagreement. People who sometimes just suck it up and do something not because they want to, or because it's convenient for them- but because they are my friends, and it's the right thing to do. I have finally come to realize that with people like this in my life, there is no reason to put up with the other shit. I don't have a "friend quota" to hit. Having more friends on Facebook will not make me feel better about myself. It's about the kind of people they are. The kind of people I am proud to know. The kind of people who know that lately, there has been some stuff going on in my life that I have to deal with, and they are there for me anyway. Not in spite of that. Because of that. I honestly feel like a different person, because I finally get it.
Love-
Alex
As I caught my breath and continued to drive home, shaking, I realized: "wow, I almost just died. Right there. In one minute, it all would've been over." Thinking about it further, I realized again: "wait a minute. Someone, whoever is in that ambulance, might be dying right now."
And all the anger is not worth it.
So you know what?
I'm finished.
I'm finished with fake, manipulative people who are only concerned with looking out for themselves. I'm finished with people who are so insecure, that they constantly say and do things to make the other people around them feel insecure and unsure- just like them. I'm sure some of you are probably thinking your same old thoughts right now, "oh, she's just a bitch, or being judgmental, etc.", but you know what? I refuse to let you make me insecure.
I'm sick of people who are concerned only about themselves, and their problems. People who decide to do things, only when it's convenient for them. Or they only want to hang out with you only when they have nothing else better to do. I'll just go ahead and throw it out there- yeah, maybe I am "the mom," who listens to everyone's issues, etc., and that has never really bothered me before. But after shit just gets thrown back into your face over and over again by these people who don't even stop to think to themselves "hey, maybe she has something going on that might be more important", it gets old. And I'm finished.
And you know what made me realize all of this, more than anything?
My friends. My real, true friends. People whom I could call for help and not feel indebted to them for the rest of my life. People whom I can depend on. People who are honest with me, even if sometimes that means having a disagreement. People who sometimes just suck it up and do something not because they want to, or because it's convenient for them- but because they are my friends, and it's the right thing to do. I have finally come to realize that with people like this in my life, there is no reason to put up with the other shit. I don't have a "friend quota" to hit. Having more friends on Facebook will not make me feel better about myself. It's about the kind of people they are. The kind of people I am proud to know. The kind of people who know that lately, there has been some stuff going on in my life that I have to deal with, and they are there for me anyway. Not in spite of that. Because of that. I honestly feel like a different person, because I finally get it.
Love-
Alex