(no subject)
Life still sucks.
School is almost over. I'm happy. Yet sad. I will miss C/O '05 more than I ever thought I would. LOVE YOU GUYS. :D Especially the ones that helped me thru OH SO MUCH shit in my life. You know how you guys are. I will miss ASB. Not only is it your last year seniors, it's mine too. For now at least. Haha even if I had stayed, I couldn't have had as much fun, memories, and so forth without you guys. Cherry, Vicky, Oliver, Christine, Ellen, Gloria, Daniel, Emo, Chantel, Sophia, June, Chinar, Poonam, Carla, Janessa, Stephanie, Allie, Shari, Vandara, Shivani, Claudia, and of course Liz (haha always was the late one :P Sorry if I missed anyone!) you guys have been the awesomest seniors I could ever ask for. You've been there to give me rides when I needed them, to chill with me when I was lonely, the wipe my tears when I cried, to help me make balloons when the helium made me light-headed, to yell at me when I would not smile (causing me to smile at the thought of someone so nice yelling haha), haha you guys have just made this HELL of a year all the more bareable. Thru all the drama and fights, the laughter and smiles out beat them all. I love you guys and wish you the VERY best next year. Haha whether it be at UCSD with Allie or at UCI with Emo. You ALL better come and visit me next year or I'll hunt you down!!! :D
I really dislike this guy right now. I will leave no names because I will not stoop to such a low level to the point where I'm "talking shit and lies." Have you guys ever had the feeling where you had EVERYTHING yet it was all for nothing. That it was only there so that the pain you receive later is THAT much more unbareable? I hate to sound all EMO GIRL right now, but that's what has been going thru my mind lately. People think I'm still tripping over this guy, but I'm VERY HAPPY to say that I've moved on. Maybe he and his friends don't think I have, but I know I have and I don't need to do things like take his friends away from him (which I TOTALLY could!), or key his car, or egg his house to prove to anyone that I don't have THOSE KIND of feelings for him anymore. Just because I don't like him doesn't mean I have to hate him. Just because he's a jerk to me, I will not strike back. I am BETTER than that. Hurt me as you will. Lie about me as you might. Hate me as you want. I will not hate back. For hate can only lead to hate, and this world needs only but love.
"An eye for and eye only makes the world blind" -Gandhi
Hahaha it's REALLY funny how I can give SOOO many people advice and they can thank me for it because it HONESTLY helps them, yet when it comes to me and giving myself advice, I'm left speechless.
Right now as I write this, I am not sad, nor happy, nor regretful, or bitter. I am satisfied. I know who I am. I know what I'm worth. I know why I'm here. As stupid as this may sound to you, through Key Club, I have learned that I CAN help people. I've raised thousands of dollars for people that needed it, I've started organizations, I've gotten petitions signed, I've done SO MUCH, and not because I want it to look good on my college app, or because I want everyone to think I'm SUCH AN AWESOME person, but because as corny as this next line is, I make a difference. Like I've HONESTLY been questioning my existence in this world A LOT these past couple weeks, but I know what it is now. I figured it out today. I've known all this time I guess, yet I've never REALLY realized it. I like that people can come to me and talk about their problems without worrying if I'm gonna tell others or not. I like that people trust me enough to take my advice into consideration. I like that the people that REALLY know me, KNOW that I'm not a bitch, and that if a person ACTUALLY sat down and talked to me, they'd realize I'm no different than they are. I like that a wave or a hug or even a smile to someone that walks down the hallway can brighten up their day, even if it's just for ONE second. If I could make a difference, I mean like a positive one, in just ONE person's life, then my life has been fullfilled and lived to the fullest. I don't need to be a multi-billionaire or live to be 100 years old to live a full life. I just need to know that one day, someone will look back and remember me, saying "Wow. I remember her, she changed my life by just being there for me.
"You told me that you would always be there for me, and that's true, you will. You WILL ALWAYS be THERE for me, but you will NEVER be HERE for me." -Ask me if you care who said this. You'd be surprised by the answer.
This goes out to everyone and I mean EVERYONE. Even if I haven't talked to you in five years, or I once told you I hate you, or you THINK/HAVE A FEELING that I hate you, no matter WHAT, if you EVER need someone to talk to, I will listen. Even if I do not like what I am hearing, I will listen.
"Even if I die tomorrow, life would have been worth living only because I knew you." -Me
Sorry this was so long :)
School is almost over. I'm happy. Yet sad. I will miss C/O '05 more than I ever thought I would. LOVE YOU GUYS. :D Especially the ones that helped me thru OH SO MUCH shit in my life. You know how you guys are. I will miss ASB. Not only is it your last year seniors, it's mine too. For now at least. Haha even if I had stayed, I couldn't have had as much fun, memories, and so forth without you guys. Cherry, Vicky, Oliver, Christine, Ellen, Gloria, Daniel, Emo, Chantel, Sophia, June, Chinar, Poonam, Carla, Janessa, Stephanie, Allie, Shari, Vandara, Shivani, Claudia, and of course Liz (haha always was the late one :P Sorry if I missed anyone!) you guys have been the awesomest seniors I could ever ask for. You've been there to give me rides when I needed them, to chill with me when I was lonely, the wipe my tears when I cried, to help me make balloons when the helium made me light-headed, to yell at me when I would not smile (causing me to smile at the thought of someone so nice yelling haha), haha you guys have just made this HELL of a year all the more bareable. Thru all the drama and fights, the laughter and smiles out beat them all. I love you guys and wish you the VERY best next year. Haha whether it be at UCSD with Allie or at UCI with Emo. You ALL better come and visit me next year or I'll hunt you down!!! :D
I really dislike this guy right now. I will leave no names because I will not stoop to such a low level to the point where I'm "talking shit and lies." Have you guys ever had the feeling where you had EVERYTHING yet it was all for nothing. That it was only there so that the pain you receive later is THAT much more unbareable? I hate to sound all EMO GIRL right now, but that's what has been going thru my mind lately. People think I'm still tripping over this guy, but I'm VERY HAPPY to say that I've moved on. Maybe he and his friends don't think I have, but I know I have and I don't need to do things like take his friends away from him (which I TOTALLY could!), or key his car, or egg his house to prove to anyone that I don't have THOSE KIND of feelings for him anymore. Just because I don't like him doesn't mean I have to hate him. Just because he's a jerk to me, I will not strike back. I am BETTER than that. Hurt me as you will. Lie about me as you might. Hate me as you want. I will not hate back. For hate can only lead to hate, and this world needs only but love.
"An eye for and eye only makes the world blind" -Gandhi
Hahaha it's REALLY funny how I can give SOOO many people advice and they can thank me for it because it HONESTLY helps them, yet when it comes to me and giving myself advice, I'm left speechless.
Right now as I write this, I am not sad, nor happy, nor regretful, or bitter. I am satisfied. I know who I am. I know what I'm worth. I know why I'm here. As stupid as this may sound to you, through Key Club, I have learned that I CAN help people. I've raised thousands of dollars for people that needed it, I've started organizations, I've gotten petitions signed, I've done SO MUCH, and not because I want it to look good on my college app, or because I want everyone to think I'm SUCH AN AWESOME person, but because as corny as this next line is, I make a difference. Like I've HONESTLY been questioning my existence in this world A LOT these past couple weeks, but I know what it is now. I figured it out today. I've known all this time I guess, yet I've never REALLY realized it. I like that people can come to me and talk about their problems without worrying if I'm gonna tell others or not. I like that people trust me enough to take my advice into consideration. I like that the people that REALLY know me, KNOW that I'm not a bitch, and that if a person ACTUALLY sat down and talked to me, they'd realize I'm no different than they are. I like that a wave or a hug or even a smile to someone that walks down the hallway can brighten up their day, even if it's just for ONE second. If I could make a difference, I mean like a positive one, in just ONE person's life, then my life has been fullfilled and lived to the fullest. I don't need to be a multi-billionaire or live to be 100 years old to live a full life. I just need to know that one day, someone will look back and remember me, saying "Wow. I remember her, she changed my life by just being there for me.
"You told me that you would always be there for me, and that's true, you will. You WILL ALWAYS be THERE for me, but you will NEVER be HERE for me." -Ask me if you care who said this. You'd be surprised by the answer.
This goes out to everyone and I mean EVERYONE. Even if I haven't talked to you in five years, or I once told you I hate you, or you THINK/HAVE A FEELING that I hate you, no matter WHAT, if you EVER need someone to talk to, I will listen. Even if I do not like what I am hearing, I will listen.
"Even if I die tomorrow, life would have been worth living only because I knew you." -Me
Sorry this was so long :)