(no subject)
i think that maybe i should really start using this for real journaling purposes. no one reads this so i dont imagine anyone really cares... but maybe it'll be nice to look back into this one day and remember some of the stuff i went through.
went to tech this weekend with lizzy d. it was definatly a worth while trip. got to spend time with lots of great people. one in particular who im increasingly confused about. one day i think one way about him and the next i feel another. its hard being 3 hours from someone you'd like to see everyday. but then thinking of how it would be if we were in the same city makes me nervous. what if hes not who i think he is? its hard to have so much feeling for someone who you know you cant be with. i try to control myself and not think about it but its inevitable that somehow the thoughts always seep into my head. i wish things didn't have you be layered and they could just be simple and what i wanted all the time. but i guess if it was like that it wouldn't be real life would it?
made dinner tonight and set the fire alarms off in the apt. our burners are dirty as hell and im not gonna be the one to clean them.
getting a little tired of this living situation.
kim drives me to bad habits and is the source of all anxiety in my mind.
i wish i had what you have with your friends and community and church and confidence and all that mess. and i wish you wanted what i did.
went to tech this weekend with lizzy d. it was definatly a worth while trip. got to spend time with lots of great people. one in particular who im increasingly confused about. one day i think one way about him and the next i feel another. its hard being 3 hours from someone you'd like to see everyday. but then thinking of how it would be if we were in the same city makes me nervous. what if hes not who i think he is? its hard to have so much feeling for someone who you know you cant be with. i try to control myself and not think about it but its inevitable that somehow the thoughts always seep into my head. i wish things didn't have you be layered and they could just be simple and what i wanted all the time. but i guess if it was like that it wouldn't be real life would it?
made dinner tonight and set the fire alarms off in the apt. our burners are dirty as hell and im not gonna be the one to clean them.
getting a little tired of this living situation.
kim drives me to bad habits and is the source of all anxiety in my mind.
i wish i had what you have with your friends and community and church and confidence and all that mess. and i wish you wanted what i did.