OOM: February 2000: 11th and B Loft

[rockstardavis]

The Loft is... mostly as it always has been. Perhaps a bit cleaner, perhaps a few more things to eat lying around, but really, it never changes. Roger is on the couch, Fender in-lap, plucking out some tune that will probably end up on the Moving Pictures soundtrack. Strangely, no one else seems to be around. Odd? Probably not.

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[fallen_april]

The girl who walks through the doorway is like a ghost in more ways than her silence. She looks around like she's not entirely sure she's in this place, her hand on the doorframe and her eyes wide.

The last time she was in the Loft, she'd left behind her own bloody corpse, a note, and all her things. She shouldn't be here.

But it worked, and she's here, and she really can't tear her eyes away from the musician on the couch.

[rockstardavis]

Roger hasn't even looked up from his guitar. He's still plucking away. However, he hears her come in. "What'd you forget?" History... repeats itself? Or not?

[fallen_april]

April swallows hard, trying to get her voice to work.

"A... a lot of things," she says finally, her voice almost too soft to be heard. "Like saying goodbye." Maybe it's cheesy or corny and if it were one of Mark's movies, people would groan loudly, but it's the first thing that comes to mind and... well, she's not really in a position to over-think things at the moment.

[rockstardavis]

Roger stops dramatically, then looks up, actually dropping his Fender. He stares for a moment, blankly, then finally finds his voice, uncertain, cracking. "April?"

[fallen_april]

A shy, tentative smile hovers at her lips. She looks just like she always did... but no. The worn sweater, the jeans, the beat-up combat boots - those are the same. But her hair is shorter - brushing her shoulders instead of waving around her hips. And she looks healthier, happier, than she had for a long time before she'd died.

"Hey, Roger."

[rockstardavis]

Roger just gapes. For a long time, in fact. "How? Actually... don't tell me. I probably don't want to know." He pauses, face turning slightly from ashen to mad, but then back to ashen. He can't even begin to know how to react.

[fallen_april]

April holds a hand up - a silver ring shines on her finger. "Angel's wish ring. Seems it works for me, too..." She trails off and looks down, chewing her lip.

"I..." she takes a deep breath, then looks back up at him. "You can be mad. If you want." She's not sure exactly what he's thinking, but... she knows that in his place, she'd be mad. And that's enough reason to say it.

[rockstardavis]

And Roger's expression changes. The shock fades, and a hardness crosses his face, he stands, and turns away from her. "What the fuck do you expect? That you can come in here and I won't be mad? Fuck, April. I lost a year because of you. I lost everything." Except Mark.

[fallen_april]

Close eyes, bite lip. Anything to keep from crying because that wouldn't be fair. Not to him.

"I know," she whispers. "And... and I'm sorry. For what it's worth." Which, admittedly, isn't much.

[rockstardavis]

"Sorry? You think that's enough? You just... up and fucking leave, without even letting me try to help, you leave me to deal with shit all by myself? And now you waltz back in, and... and... and...." He trails off, biting back emotion that he hasn't acknowledged for years.

[fallen_april]

"No, I don't think that's enough!" April lets out a strangled laugh, still trying not to cry. "But... fuck, Roger, it's all I've got. I can't take back what I did, no matter how fucking much I wish I could." Deep breaths, don't blow up... "I've been in Milliways for two years, and there has not been one day that I haven't thought of what I did to you."

Her voice cracks and she snaps her mouth shut before she says more and ends up breaking down.

She can break down later.

[rockstardavis]

"You probably have, and damn well you should." Roger's still standing with his back to her, arms crossed. "Why the hell don't you just get the fuck out of here, and to that bar of yours. Everyone seems to think it's a better fucking place anyway."

[fallen_april]

That cracks her armor a little, and a couple of tears escape down her cheeks.

She's not going to give up just yet. He'd asked about her. He'd sent her a Christmas present. There's hope for... for something.

She steps forward and tentatively touches his shoulder.

[rockstardavis]

He turns around, furious, but behind the anger, in his eyes, is a deep pain, a longing deep pain. "Fuck, April, don't. I can't... we can't...."

[fallen_april]

"We can't what?" she asks softly, her eyes searching his face desperately. She's not sure if he means that they can't be together (she knows that) or that they can't be friends (they can be, though) or something she can't think of.

But she needs to understand.

[rockstardavis]

"I still fucking love you, April." He's slightly shaking now. "I never stopped." It's all he can get out.