(no subject)
I guess praying to God that I will get my period soon because I've been having pre-marital sex (sin) and want to start the pill (you have to wait until your next period to start) so I can continue on my merry, little, sinful way (sin) won't get me too far. (It's not at all likely that I'm pregnant or anything but my periods are really crappy about being regular, so you can never be totally sure. UGH.) I took a urine STI test when they prescribed me the birth control (which, by the way, is free for people in California under a certain income--fucking badass). I wonder if they do a complimentary pregnancy test on the pee, too, you know, just for funsies.
Usually when I am begging God for something, I just promise not to do whatever the hell got me into the situation in the first place. But I can't promise I'm not going to have sex again because that would be lying (sin) and probably make God's case against me worse, if I'm going to believe all that stuff. I guess I could reason with Him that if I 'm not pregnant than I won't have to get an abortion (sin) but it smacks a little of blackmailing God (sin, probably). Honestly, can anyone do anything ever that isn't considered a fucking sin?
I'm not sure how I feel about religion anymore. (sin?)
But still, I'm terrified of going to hell.
Usually when I am begging God for something, I just promise not to do whatever the hell got me into the situation in the first place. But I can't promise I'm not going to have sex again because that would be lying (sin) and probably make God's case against me worse, if I'm going to believe all that stuff. I guess I could reason with Him that if I 'm not pregnant than I won't have to get an abortion (sin) but it smacks a little of blackmailing God (sin, probably). Honestly, can anyone do anything ever that isn't considered a fucking sin?
I'm not sure how I feel about religion anymore. (sin?)
But still, I'm terrified of going to hell.