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Lana gave me a picture of Jake today. He looks exactly like the way i always think of him as. Tall, beautiful blue eyes, long shaggy hair, cute, sweet, but all with an edge! I cant stop thinking about him. What's he thinking about? Is he thinking about the baby? Me? Or is he thinking about where to buy his next gram from? Or who he's going to have sex with next? I just wish he would call me. If not him, his mom. I just want to know that he's alive and well. I want to know if he'll be here for the birth, not because i think he'll just randomly start caring, but because maybe his mom wants to see her grandchild. What if he ransdomly did start caring? What would he want to name him/her? Would he hold him/her and truly love him/her? Protect his child? What if... I hate "what if's". They give me hope, hope that will just end up being let down and hurt. AH!!! I really really wish that this child was Aaron's. He would be a good father. A dependable one. I hate wishing too... it seems like a waste of time these days.
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Oh no no no silly! I'm just going to let her pretend that she got me and that she really put me in my place. She can think that the reason i stopped talking to her about this issue is because i dont know what i'm talking about and i dont know my brother at all. She's too dumb to even try to explain things too. She's just not worth my time and she doesnt ammuse me anymore. I would always find myself saying, "If only you know...", "I wish you knew the whole story.", "Oh you're so nieve!" I decided against telling her a lot of things because she would be dumb again and blah blah blah, she would tell me i'm a lier and blah blah blah, i'm the one that doesnt know what i'm talking about. So dumb. I could I have told her a lot of things that she didnt know, and we all know that she didnt know... but i'm not gonna stoop that low, you know, the level she stooped to earlier (i had a post about it a couple weeks(?) ago i think). Silly goose, i have more important things to worry about, like people I actually care about!!!
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Oh no no no silly! I'm just going to let her pretend that she got me and that she really put me in my place. She can think that the reason i stopped talking to her about this issue is because i dont know what i'm talking about and i dont know my brother at all. She's too dumb to even try to explain things too. She's just not worth my time and she doesnt ammuse me anymore. I would always find myself saying, "If only you know...", "I wish you knew the whole story.", "Oh you're so nieve!" I decided against telling her a lot of things because she would be dumb again and blah blah blah, she would tell me i'm a lier and blah blah blah, i'm the one that doesnt know what i'm talking about. So dumb. I could I have told her a lot of things that she didnt know, and we all know that she didnt know... but i'm not gonna stoop that low, you know, the level she stooped to earlier (i had a post about it a couple weeks(?) ago i think). Silly goose, i have more important things to worry about, like people I actually care about!!!