Clarinet Dream
I had this dream for which there is no comparison. I had always had this desire to learn to play the clarinet, in real waking life, and thusly this past semester at school was a dream come true for me. (I 4.0-ed the class, are we surprised?) This seeped into my subconscious as follows:
I was designated as overseer of some sort of group of people, younger in age, I assumed, but they turned out not to be. What I was watching was a rehearsal of the most peculiar ensemble: it consisted of a violin, an oboe, a bassoon, and a few brass instruments. (I don't suppose we see any balance issues here, then?) For some reason, I had a clarinet with me. A very cluttered case, with a number of reeds and all their boxes still stashed in the upper compartment of the case. When I later found myself looking for reeds, I ended up making quite the mess. I was asked to play with the ensemble despite my declaration that not only was there no clarinet part, but I was not very good at the instrument. They countered that there was a clarinet part not being played, and that I was sufficient, for sure.
When I assembled my clarinet, I discovered a very loose connection between the upper and lower joint, which not only hurt the sound but made the instrument difficult to play. This is a contrivace of the real-life problems with the Crane clarinet I was issued. The joints would not fit, and Glen's shaving down the cork made it easy to assemble, but slightly loose in the connection. Then, I kept breaking the reeds. Never mind that they're cheaply made and it's hard to find a good one, but I had to search my case for a new one with every take of the piece. As the others sat there prepared to play, I was unscrewing and re-screwing the ligature to replace my failed reeds. The first one I came upon was not so much a reed as it was a bundle of fibers, like a bunch of pine needles, but not sharp. I don't understand how it was a reed, but for some reason it was. It worked poorly, and soon the fibers misaligned and I couldn't find reed clippers or even a set of nail clippers among the other woodwind players. THEN, oh then, I had this problem setting my fingers over the finger holes, which were not in normal proportion to one another. Plus, the C# lever was so close to the C finger hole that I couldn't get my finger over the hole far enough to close it off, so that no matter how good my support was, I couldn't get more than a fuzzy and out-of-tune sound. Add to all this that they kept rearranging the seating so as to find me a way to see the music I was sharing with the oboe player (yeah. interesting.) So I had to pick up and move and then replace my reed. Pick up and move and replace the reed. Pick up and move and dump the case of boxes and pick them up and replace the reed and try to get my fingers over the finger holes.
I was not happy.
I'm just glad that this can't possibly be this bad when I actually play clarinet this coming semester in the community band. Not only will I keep the case clean, but I will have an assigned seat and a standard clarinet with proper proportions and lever placement. *phew*
I was designated as overseer of some sort of group of people, younger in age, I assumed, but they turned out not to be. What I was watching was a rehearsal of the most peculiar ensemble: it consisted of a violin, an oboe, a bassoon, and a few brass instruments. (I don't suppose we see any balance issues here, then?) For some reason, I had a clarinet with me. A very cluttered case, with a number of reeds and all their boxes still stashed in the upper compartment of the case. When I later found myself looking for reeds, I ended up making quite the mess. I was asked to play with the ensemble despite my declaration that not only was there no clarinet part, but I was not very good at the instrument. They countered that there was a clarinet part not being played, and that I was sufficient, for sure.
When I assembled my clarinet, I discovered a very loose connection between the upper and lower joint, which not only hurt the sound but made the instrument difficult to play. This is a contrivace of the real-life problems with the Crane clarinet I was issued. The joints would not fit, and Glen's shaving down the cork made it easy to assemble, but slightly loose in the connection. Then, I kept breaking the reeds. Never mind that they're cheaply made and it's hard to find a good one, but I had to search my case for a new one with every take of the piece. As the others sat there prepared to play, I was unscrewing and re-screwing the ligature to replace my failed reeds. The first one I came upon was not so much a reed as it was a bundle of fibers, like a bunch of pine needles, but not sharp. I don't understand how it was a reed, but for some reason it was. It worked poorly, and soon the fibers misaligned and I couldn't find reed clippers or even a set of nail clippers among the other woodwind players. THEN, oh then, I had this problem setting my fingers over the finger holes, which were not in normal proportion to one another. Plus, the C# lever was so close to the C finger hole that I couldn't get my finger over the hole far enough to close it off, so that no matter how good my support was, I couldn't get more than a fuzzy and out-of-tune sound. Add to all this that they kept rearranging the seating so as to find me a way to see the music I was sharing with the oboe player (yeah. interesting.) So I had to pick up and move and then replace my reed. Pick up and move and replace the reed. Pick up and move and dump the case of boxes and pick them up and replace the reed and try to get my fingers over the finger holes.
I was not happy.
I'm just glad that this can't possibly be this bad when I actually play clarinet this coming semester in the community band. Not only will I keep the case clean, but I will have an assigned seat and a standard clarinet with proper proportions and lever placement. *phew*