(no subject)
Ah, Saturday. On Sunday, I barely knew it existed. But its tuesday, wednesday now, and I think I've done a fair job piecing it together.
Saturday the cruise ship "MS Imagination" would be docking in Cozumel, Mexico from about 1-9:30pm. Everybody was trying to get off the boat early, big crowd, and they have to check your id and shit, so my dad and I didn't embark (what an adventure!) until about 2:30. On this island paradise, there's three blocks deep of shops across from the beach, and jungle and a military base in the middle of the island. We walked past all the shops on the beach side, than walked through all the shops on the way back. We took half as much time but spent twice as much as any woman shopping. So much tequila. Then my dad got a crap load of perfume and present type shit. Of course the row of shops strategically ends before the dock at a bar. We had two margaritas on the rocks around four o'clock. The glasses were quite gi-normous. Then I, having the younger legs, had to run our souvenirs back to the boat and meet my dad at the bar. Easy enough. Met him outside the bar, had a frozen margarita, met everyone inside the bar at six. There are women in this bar, whose sole purpose, is to pour shots down your throat. They blow their obnoxious whistles, pour a shot, trow it down da troat, then they shake and rub your head, tweak your nipples (or bounce your jugs), and slap your ass. What happened at the bar/club is inconsequential. Suffice to say, lot of margaritas, lot of flashing, lot of people, no sex. Now, I have no recollection of returning to the ship. I remember big margarita, then hot tub. I guess the water made me pay more attention, because i have this ten second glimpse of time I was in the hot tub. There was a girl in a lifeguarding suit, the same kind my co-workers have, so I aksed "Are you a lifeguard or is that just a cute suit?" Go figure, a real lifeguard, so I asked where she worked, "Massachusetts", hey, do happen to know this person (the person I know in MA), "I think I've heard the name", then I guess my body realized the water wasn't a threat and I just zoned out, roughly two hours later I was on the jogging track again, then the sun was shining in my face. I didn't get any help filling in the pieces until much later on sunday, so I going to make you read all about sunday before you know what happened just like I had to. Lets see, I was in a hot tub... then it was three o'clock, I took a nap and watched the patriots game, then I was at a bar again, ah yes, me and my dad started watching the eagles game at the bar and I tried a few new things. Brandy old-style, actually that was all that was new. Another manhattan (big fucker this time, he used a normal glass instead their smaller liquor cups), daquirie (sp), amerato, i think that was all for now. Put on the shirt and tie for dinner again, more wine, more amerato, raining outside, dinner was over. Ah yes, all day sunday I wore nothing but my bathrobe and a swimsuit except for the couple hours of dinner. I promplty put them back on and went to the hot tubs. Pitch black ocean in every direction, very brisk winds, light rain, it was beautiful. I wish they could turn the lights off on the ship, there would be no darker night. I plunged in the hot tubs and wouldn't you know it, of all the people that knew a night like this was to be enjoyed in a hot tub, that little shit kid from friday showed up. He was more tolerable this time around, i think i was more intoxicated too. He had me try his rum and coke, so much coke, but he was young. So me and little shit talked, I told him about the two cars I've already gone through and he told me about his 2002 blazer with 20in rims and an in dash DVD player that he got a ticket for improperly mounting. Poor guy. He left around 11, i left around quarter after, and as I'm walking down a flight of stairs, soaking wet in my bathrobe, a little asian guy walks up to me and starts talking. Things along the lines of "hey, how you doing, going to the show tonight, I've been looking for someone I know (that turned out to be me)" and so on. Ten minutes into this I just can't take the confusion anymore so I ask if we met before. Sure enough, Saturday night, he was in the hot tub with me and the girl. In fact, he knew a great deal about me i had told him the night before. He assures me that all parties present, while knowing I was drunk, thought I behaved in all manner of sorts compliant with a gentleman. I wasn't obnoxious or outlandish, I didn't vomit, in fact, most of what I said was relevant to the conversation. He went on to tell me that after they closed the hot tubs and we were preparing to go our seperate ways, I asked him if he planned on going after Christie (I didn't even know here name until he told me, but he had an accent, it might have been Kristin or Krista), and he said (on Saturday night) no, go for it, and so I did. Apparently we hit it off pretty well. Unfortunately this is all on the little asian guys word (though everything I remember he recounted as well) and I didn't see Christie all day. It'd be an incredible stretch to believe I got in her pants, but she was hot and we had enough in common that its easy for me to believe we fooled around. Tequila is a fucking monster. Well, the little asian guy was going to a comedy show in one of the lounges, so i told him if he'd wait for me to put on pants I'd go down there with him. Great show, of course its one of those things where while its happening its hilarious but five minutes later you can't remember a damn thing. Something about a guy buying a banana and some vaseline, a lot of shit about wives. And there was this horrible drunk there, he started out as just something that was fun for everyone to laugh at, then he got in the way trying to get more laughs, then the comedian took a couple shots at him and the drunk took offense and started swearing, then the drank actually squared off with the guy on stage, and the drunk whimpered away when the comedian told him to beat it. Good show though, I think there was something about a pencil. Then sleep, wake up, have an omelette, leave ship, and spend the rest of the week at grandmas. But like I said before, today craziness happened as well with this rich uncle, I still have more material to waste my time with while I'm here with none of the friends I so dearly love and miss. I'm coming home boys!!!
Saturday the cruise ship "MS Imagination" would be docking in Cozumel, Mexico from about 1-9:30pm. Everybody was trying to get off the boat early, big crowd, and they have to check your id and shit, so my dad and I didn't embark (what an adventure!) until about 2:30. On this island paradise, there's three blocks deep of shops across from the beach, and jungle and a military base in the middle of the island. We walked past all the shops on the beach side, than walked through all the shops on the way back. We took half as much time but spent twice as much as any woman shopping. So much tequila. Then my dad got a crap load of perfume and present type shit. Of course the row of shops strategically ends before the dock at a bar. We had two margaritas on the rocks around four o'clock. The glasses were quite gi-normous. Then I, having the younger legs, had to run our souvenirs back to the boat and meet my dad at the bar. Easy enough. Met him outside the bar, had a frozen margarita, met everyone inside the bar at six. There are women in this bar, whose sole purpose, is to pour shots down your throat. They blow their obnoxious whistles, pour a shot, trow it down da troat, then they shake and rub your head, tweak your nipples (or bounce your jugs), and slap your ass. What happened at the bar/club is inconsequential. Suffice to say, lot of margaritas, lot of flashing, lot of people, no sex. Now, I have no recollection of returning to the ship. I remember big margarita, then hot tub. I guess the water made me pay more attention, because i have this ten second glimpse of time I was in the hot tub. There was a girl in a lifeguarding suit, the same kind my co-workers have, so I aksed "Are you a lifeguard or is that just a cute suit?" Go figure, a real lifeguard, so I asked where she worked, "Massachusetts", hey, do happen to know this person (the person I know in MA), "I think I've heard the name", then I guess my body realized the water wasn't a threat and I just zoned out, roughly two hours later I was on the jogging track again, then the sun was shining in my face. I didn't get any help filling in the pieces until much later on sunday, so I going to make you read all about sunday before you know what happened just like I had to. Lets see, I was in a hot tub... then it was three o'clock, I took a nap and watched the patriots game, then I was at a bar again, ah yes, me and my dad started watching the eagles game at the bar and I tried a few new things. Brandy old-style, actually that was all that was new. Another manhattan (big fucker this time, he used a normal glass instead their smaller liquor cups), daquirie (sp), amerato, i think that was all for now. Put on the shirt and tie for dinner again, more wine, more amerato, raining outside, dinner was over. Ah yes, all day sunday I wore nothing but my bathrobe and a swimsuit except for the couple hours of dinner. I promplty put them back on and went to the hot tubs. Pitch black ocean in every direction, very brisk winds, light rain, it was beautiful. I wish they could turn the lights off on the ship, there would be no darker night. I plunged in the hot tubs and wouldn't you know it, of all the people that knew a night like this was to be enjoyed in a hot tub, that little shit kid from friday showed up. He was more tolerable this time around, i think i was more intoxicated too. He had me try his rum and coke, so much coke, but he was young. So me and little shit talked, I told him about the two cars I've already gone through and he told me about his 2002 blazer with 20in rims and an in dash DVD player that he got a ticket for improperly mounting. Poor guy. He left around 11, i left around quarter after, and as I'm walking down a flight of stairs, soaking wet in my bathrobe, a little asian guy walks up to me and starts talking. Things along the lines of "hey, how you doing, going to the show tonight, I've been looking for someone I know (that turned out to be me)" and so on. Ten minutes into this I just can't take the confusion anymore so I ask if we met before. Sure enough, Saturday night, he was in the hot tub with me and the girl. In fact, he knew a great deal about me i had told him the night before. He assures me that all parties present, while knowing I was drunk, thought I behaved in all manner of sorts compliant with a gentleman. I wasn't obnoxious or outlandish, I didn't vomit, in fact, most of what I said was relevant to the conversation. He went on to tell me that after they closed the hot tubs and we were preparing to go our seperate ways, I asked him if he planned on going after Christie (I didn't even know here name until he told me, but he had an accent, it might have been Kristin or Krista), and he said (on Saturday night) no, go for it, and so I did. Apparently we hit it off pretty well. Unfortunately this is all on the little asian guys word (though everything I remember he recounted as well) and I didn't see Christie all day. It'd be an incredible stretch to believe I got in her pants, but she was hot and we had enough in common that its easy for me to believe we fooled around. Tequila is a fucking monster. Well, the little asian guy was going to a comedy show in one of the lounges, so i told him if he'd wait for me to put on pants I'd go down there with him. Great show, of course its one of those things where while its happening its hilarious but five minutes later you can't remember a damn thing. Something about a guy buying a banana and some vaseline, a lot of shit about wives. And there was this horrible drunk there, he started out as just something that was fun for everyone to laugh at, then he got in the way trying to get more laughs, then the comedian took a couple shots at him and the drunk took offense and started swearing, then the drank actually squared off with the guy on stage, and the drunk whimpered away when the comedian told him to beat it. Good show though, I think there was something about a pencil. Then sleep, wake up, have an omelette, leave ship, and spend the rest of the week at grandmas. But like I said before, today craziness happened as well with this rich uncle, I still have more material to waste my time with while I'm here with none of the friends I so dearly love and miss. I'm coming home boys!!!