(no subject)

[rockrecordmurdr]

everyone has started posting on here once again, all at the same time. Everyone has similar things to say but I find it amusing and interesting to pick out the things that are different. I love to read about the lives of people I have been close to. I've been feeling very similar ways to everyone I've loved but all in different ways. Winter is a strange time. I miss a lot. I've gained more. I am in school full time now, 9-4, an hour away, with a strict dress code, and a lot of amazing people. I love what I do, or soon will be doing. I feel that I've found my passion and calling. Aveda pushes eco-friendly and healthy lifestyles. Although I'm fully aware this is the trend it's the first good trend America has seen, ever, well except maybe everyone smoking pot and doing LSD in the 60's but really, what good did that do for humanity or the earth, none. I've never been so interested in being enviromentally friendly but now the effects are here. Probably too late. I haven't ate meat for two days (for health reasons, i don't like animals). I'm going to be using public transportation every chance I get. My showers are shorter (right after I bought the amazing shower head too, bummer) and I'm going to be doing volunteer work with the school. Helping others is what helps me. I feel good, better, I feel fucking fabulous! I got hired at Cheesecake Factory and I'm finally on my own and making some money after more than two weeks. I'm broke. There's a really cute boy at school that has a crush on me and I do too. There's a hot girl that texts me every night and harasses me for "bringing out her gay". Suprisingly, I'm more excited about the boy. I don't know what will come of either situations but I kind of hope nothing does, I'll be in very close quarters with both, for a year, starting Monday. Work sucks. I alread hate this job. I hate that I had to take out my lip ring that made me feel so... me, I have to wear all white, there's an abundance of mexicans that hoot and holler everytime I simply return a dish to the sink. I've never been bothered by that sort of thing but this is different. Tonight everyone commented about how helpful I am to other servers and with cleaning. They said I'll be a "shift leader" by the end of the week. Woo hoo, same pay, more responsibility, and a free meal a shift (fat). Little do they know I'm doing everything in my power to have a new job by the end of this week. I'm very close to friendless but thinking that will change with school. I mind a lot more somedays than others. I have only smoked two bowls in the past two weeks. I'm proud but I miss it. I still don't think it's a bad thing, in anyway. Wine has become a close friend thanks to Rebecca who is pregnant. Drew's been in juvie and now goes to Triad. Brett got a job opening at bakery manager at a new vegan restaraunt in Winter Park. I hope he gets and takes the job, I would love to see him in a better place, finally. I think my dad and Shane are having some issues, Dad's been bitching about him a lot since he's been out of town. Mom's the same, she always will be, but we had an amazing conversation the other week and once again she made me feel okay again. No matter how much harm she does or how much it feels like she's not there, because she's so within herself the majority of the time, it's those couple hours that make me love her more than anyone in the world, atleast for a few months. The wine is thickining my brain and I think sleep would be my best bet for now. Work at 8, woo.

alex, chelsea, kristen, kb, therese, danielle, mom, brett, drew, i miss you all, dearly.