(no subject)
So Saturday night we danced on tables, laughed, got lap dances. I got to see all my friends in their costumes! Everyone was so cute.. the food was great. The tittie bar was amazing. We walked in and met Martin and he came and sat with us and showed us the ropes. I got titties smashed in my face, ass jiggled on me, a head up my skirt, and my boobs licked. It was a lot of fun. Martin asked if him and his friends could come back with us to Aprils house and drink with us and I said hell yeah. I mean I love Martin and I've never hung out with his friends before so I was kinda curious. Buch, Ryan, Nick, Martin, Chaz, some other kid, me, Monica, Cassie, April, Amanda, and Becca. We went to Aprils and I let everyone drink my birthday present. Me and Mo took the first shots of the night to start it off. Shot after shot... song after song. Haha me and Monica were eventually pressed against a refrigerator grinding... haha all of us girls dancing. I poured Martin the last shot of my rum and we did a toast to him leaving McDonald's and all the fun we had together. I sat down in the living room and Martin came up to me and said, "Thank you for inviting me to your party, Lindsay. I'm having so much fun. You're awesome." Then he kissed me. We all decided to play spin the bottle and that was pretty interesting. I kissed Buch, Nick, and Martin.. then I made out with Becca and then joined in on Becca and Monica's kiss. When we were all done, I was like damn Chaz you're the only one I didn't kiss! He's like, "Well fuck it, I want to kiss you right now!" Lol... so he did. Becca and Chaz were downstairs in a closet making out so I found them and Becca was like, "Oh Lindsay I miss your kisses!" and I'm like hmmm kisses like these!? And I just started making out with her... haha and then Chaz wanted one and I left upstairs. Amanda and Buch were off makin babies and I hung out with Monica and everyone until Martin got sick and I stayed with him in a room until he fell asleep.
Then Cassie left... after drinking. Idc if she wasn't drunk.. she still had been drinking. I know I overreacted because I was really drunk but I was so upset. Me and amanda were just about to go out and look for her when Matt didn't know where she was? You turn down 2 or 3 streets and its the house with 6 cars in front. I don't understand that if you're in a place where you don't know where you are, why wouldn't you take more care to see where you're going so you can get back. I was so fucking worried that she died, she's lost in her car somewhere, fucking idk... the worst possible situations. So she called Matt from a payphone to what? Say hi? She had to of asked if she could come over to make sure he's home before she comes over. So if he knew she was comming or any of her intentions... he didn't tell me. I swear to God if he knew she was comming over and didn't tell me, I will never be able to look at him the same way again. He knew how worried I was when I called him. I was on the verge of tears trying to figure out where she could have gone and he didn't seem to be too worried. Then... then.. she calls back laughing. That's when I lost it. I was so fucking pissed off... hurt... I felt stupid. Matt had my cell phone number. You couldnt have asked him to call me to let me know anything? I am still pissed off. I don't care any reason you have. I cried for about an hour I was so hurt and pissed off. You could have gotten a hold of someone.
We woke up this morning... I found half my bra... the dog ate it and broke it into 2 pieces. Then we were all laying on the couch watching TV this morning and all of a sudden Becca runs upstairs and tells me I need to get downstairs NOW. I'm thinking wtf do I have to get up. I walk down the stairs and Chaz is having a fucking seizure on the bed. His eyes are rolled in the back of his head, and he's puking up blood. I freak out and immediately scream for Buch. I scream HELP upstairs and they ran down to find him. We took his shirt off and wiped his face... he was in a cold sweat. His friends are so good to each other. They were helping us. It was so scary for Chaz not to know what's going on. Aprils mom walked in and he said, "Hey.. is that my mom?" He eventually kicked back into it but couldn't remember anything. I guess he's on medication for it and this is the first time in 6 years he forgot to take it. It was terrifying. We gave everyone a hug and a kiss bye and I dropped Becca off and went home to go to sleep and work.
I miss Kurt so much. I just love my freedom more right now. Now after this party is over, so much stress has been lifted. Last night.. I didn't have a commitment... and I exercised my rights. It felt so good to be free. I haven't randomly kissed people in probably 8 months. I wish I was ready for this relationship again. I just don't think I am yet. This was the best party I've ever been to. No matter about the Cassie and the Chaz incident.... best night I think I've ever had. It will be something I will remember forever.
Then Cassie left... after drinking. Idc if she wasn't drunk.. she still had been drinking. I know I overreacted because I was really drunk but I was so upset. Me and amanda were just about to go out and look for her when Matt didn't know where she was? You turn down 2 or 3 streets and its the house with 6 cars in front. I don't understand that if you're in a place where you don't know where you are, why wouldn't you take more care to see where you're going so you can get back. I was so fucking worried that she died, she's lost in her car somewhere, fucking idk... the worst possible situations. So she called Matt from a payphone to what? Say hi? She had to of asked if she could come over to make sure he's home before she comes over. So if he knew she was comming or any of her intentions... he didn't tell me. I swear to God if he knew she was comming over and didn't tell me, I will never be able to look at him the same way again. He knew how worried I was when I called him. I was on the verge of tears trying to figure out where she could have gone and he didn't seem to be too worried. Then... then.. she calls back laughing. That's when I lost it. I was so fucking pissed off... hurt... I felt stupid. Matt had my cell phone number. You couldnt have asked him to call me to let me know anything? I am still pissed off. I don't care any reason you have. I cried for about an hour I was so hurt and pissed off. You could have gotten a hold of someone.
We woke up this morning... I found half my bra... the dog ate it and broke it into 2 pieces. Then we were all laying on the couch watching TV this morning and all of a sudden Becca runs upstairs and tells me I need to get downstairs NOW. I'm thinking wtf do I have to get up. I walk down the stairs and Chaz is having a fucking seizure on the bed. His eyes are rolled in the back of his head, and he's puking up blood. I freak out and immediately scream for Buch. I scream HELP upstairs and they ran down to find him. We took his shirt off and wiped his face... he was in a cold sweat. His friends are so good to each other. They were helping us. It was so scary for Chaz not to know what's going on. Aprils mom walked in and he said, "Hey.. is that my mom?" He eventually kicked back into it but couldn't remember anything. I guess he's on medication for it and this is the first time in 6 years he forgot to take it. It was terrifying. We gave everyone a hug and a kiss bye and I dropped Becca off and went home to go to sleep and work.
I miss Kurt so much. I just love my freedom more right now. Now after this party is over, so much stress has been lifted. Last night.. I didn't have a commitment... and I exercised my rights. It felt so good to be free. I haven't randomly kissed people in probably 8 months. I wish I was ready for this relationship again. I just don't think I am yet. This was the best party I've ever been to. No matter about the Cassie and the Chaz incident.... best night I think I've ever had. It will be something I will remember forever.