The 405
Things I learned in California:
1. It always rains in Flagstaff.
2. Cars are disturbingly clean in LA.
3. In N Out is overrated.
4. Movie and TV stars are frighteningly human.
5. The blond chick from Greys Anatomy is way hotter on TV.
6. Ed McMann is less so.
7. Colin Farrell’s breakfast apparently consists of a box of corn flakes and a bottle of jack.
8. Paying for parking is sort of like taxation for breathing.
9. I’m a traffic snob now. Any drive that takes less then 30 minutes hardly seems worth the effort.
10. Never drive to San Diego on a Saturday.
11. Never drive on the 5 on Friday.
12. Never drive on the 405… any time.
13. Everyone is from somewhere else.
14. Miss Switzerland rocks my world. Miss Peru can bite me.
15. I am addicted to the Universal City Walk.
16. There is no place more artificial, fake, and plastic in the world then Orange County.
17. It is still better then Glendale.
18. Santa Monica owns my ass.
19. Southern California girls are good, but way overrated.
20. Family rocks.
21. The stress on my poor car… does not.
22. The real world is a cruel bitch goddess you better be prepared to take on with everything you got or you might as well go home and curl up with your blanket.
23. You can’t do life half assed. You REALLY can’t do LA half assed.
24. To correct my earlier statement, UCLA girls are really hot… but So Cal girls are still grossly overrated.
25. Karaoke bars are evil at 2 AM.
26. I can handle anything the world throws at me.
27. Except ninjas.
28. My training for them is incomplete ☹.
29. LA’s saint is Our Lady of Perpetual Smog.
30. The Valley gets a bad rep. It’s just hot, smoggy, and boring.
31. I ::heart:: the Buena Vista Public Library.
32. I already miss LA, ghetto and all.
33. I can’t wait to go back prepared with my screenplays intact.
34. If that 2nd time fails I will proceed to blanket for a nice curling up with.
35. And perhaps finish that damn ninja training.
1. It always rains in Flagstaff.
2. Cars are disturbingly clean in LA.
3. In N Out is overrated.
4. Movie and TV stars are frighteningly human.
5. The blond chick from Greys Anatomy is way hotter on TV.
6. Ed McMann is less so.
7. Colin Farrell’s breakfast apparently consists of a box of corn flakes and a bottle of jack.
8. Paying for parking is sort of like taxation for breathing.
9. I’m a traffic snob now. Any drive that takes less then 30 minutes hardly seems worth the effort.
10. Never drive to San Diego on a Saturday.
11. Never drive on the 5 on Friday.
12. Never drive on the 405… any time.
13. Everyone is from somewhere else.
14. Miss Switzerland rocks my world. Miss Peru can bite me.
15. I am addicted to the Universal City Walk.
16. There is no place more artificial, fake, and plastic in the world then Orange County.
17. It is still better then Glendale.
18. Santa Monica owns my ass.
19. Southern California girls are good, but way overrated.
20. Family rocks.
21. The stress on my poor car… does not.
22. The real world is a cruel bitch goddess you better be prepared to take on with everything you got or you might as well go home and curl up with your blanket.
23. You can’t do life half assed. You REALLY can’t do LA half assed.
24. To correct my earlier statement, UCLA girls are really hot… but So Cal girls are still grossly overrated.
25. Karaoke bars are evil at 2 AM.
26. I can handle anything the world throws at me.
27. Except ninjas.
28. My training for them is incomplete ☹.
29. LA’s saint is Our Lady of Perpetual Smog.
30. The Valley gets a bad rep. It’s just hot, smoggy, and boring.
31. I ::heart:: the Buena Vista Public Library.
32. I already miss LA, ghetto and all.
33. I can’t wait to go back prepared with my screenplays intact.
34. If that 2nd time fails I will proceed to blanket for a nice curling up with.
35. And perhaps finish that damn ninja training.