(no subject)
This is bad news for some, great news for others, and i'm completely torn.
today driving home i decided to ask my dad if he's engaged. well, he is. another thing he's hidden from me.
hidden that he was still dating the woman that broke up my parents.
hidden the fact he moved to florida with this woman.
and now hid the fact they've been engaged.
this was the straw that broke my poor limping camel's back.
moving out here was one of the least planned out decisions i've ever made, make note: anna, impulsive is not a good idea for you.
i thought it would be great, living where i called home for 7+ years.
seeing my old best friend as much as possible, strengthening old relationships, beginning new, something fresh, something i urned to do since i was forcibly moved 4 years ago. Living with my dad in a beautiful desert, and rekindling our strained relationship.
then the shit hit the fan.
1. for the first few weeks i saw my dad twice. he spent the rest of the time in florida
2. my school is about 45-1 hour away, which i did not consider being much of an adjustment from my other
college being 25-30 minutes from my house.
3. to get to campus, theres a shuttle. fuck that, anyone who knows me knows public transportation is one of my biggest anxiety triggers and not having my car within walking distance gets me into a situation where i flip.
4. Thinking i could pick up old friendships, let alone having people fucking recognize me was a dumbass idea.
5. Orientation for UNM was a few days after i arrived. i had to sign in at 6:30 am, so i slept at jozys so i didnt have to wake up before 5am and drive to school, of course, i forgot my sleeping medicine. we bought alcohol and i ended up passing out at 4am after a dizzying 2 hours of laying there jabbering. orientation was on the first freezing day i'd been in albuquerque, it lasted from 7am-5pm. i was not able to register for classes until orientation was over. school started in 4 days. so of course i got the runt of the litter classes.
6. my classes go as follows.
Monday&wednesday- sign 5:30
Tuesday& thursday- anthro- 11am-12:15,
architecture- 1-2:15
geology- 530-645
what a fucking joke.
7. not to mention being homesick and feeling completely alone in a house in the mountains, i'm living with my dad's girlfriend, who i now know is his fiancé. she is the most passive agressive woman i have ever met. she acts like a four year old and obviously has jealousy issues between my dad and his children. i wish i had time to get into all of the fucked up things she did when i was out here, but it's not worth the energy of my little fingers
8. FINALLY ONE GOOD THING, i fell in fucking love with one of my good friends from years ago. which is probably the only damn thing that still ties me to this square state.
9. no one would come visit me at my damn house, there was always some shitshat excuse, i get it, i live too far, i dont need your pity made up stories.
so my mum and i decided that we would try to get my dad to let me move into an apartment in albuquerque, so some issues would be eliminated. i was perfectly fine with that even though UNM is a shitschool.
i was perfectly fine living here and seeing my dad when he came to visit; until this afternoon.
what a fucking cowardice piece of shit. when i asked him why he hadn't told me he was engaged he said it was none of my business. well i told him that i'm not a distant friend of his, i'm his daughter, whats my business is his, and visa versa.
eitherway, i have a plane ticket for thursday night. valentines day, my half birthday, to fly home and have the rest of my shit sent to me.
you ask, what about school?
oh, i'm dropping out of unm, and working fulltime for spring, and making up for the hours lost during the summer.
i'll be applying to uic for this fall.
the one thing i'll miss most, is a precious boy i wish i could take with me.
today driving home i decided to ask my dad if he's engaged. well, he is. another thing he's hidden from me.
hidden that he was still dating the woman that broke up my parents.
hidden the fact he moved to florida with this woman.
and now hid the fact they've been engaged.
this was the straw that broke my poor limping camel's back.
moving out here was one of the least planned out decisions i've ever made, make note: anna, impulsive is not a good idea for you.
i thought it would be great, living where i called home for 7+ years.
seeing my old best friend as much as possible, strengthening old relationships, beginning new, something fresh, something i urned to do since i was forcibly moved 4 years ago. Living with my dad in a beautiful desert, and rekindling our strained relationship.
then the shit hit the fan.
1. for the first few weeks i saw my dad twice. he spent the rest of the time in florida
2. my school is about 45-1 hour away, which i did not consider being much of an adjustment from my other
college being 25-30 minutes from my house.
3. to get to campus, theres a shuttle. fuck that, anyone who knows me knows public transportation is one of my biggest anxiety triggers and not having my car within walking distance gets me into a situation where i flip.
4. Thinking i could pick up old friendships, let alone having people fucking recognize me was a dumbass idea.
5. Orientation for UNM was a few days after i arrived. i had to sign in at 6:30 am, so i slept at jozys so i didnt have to wake up before 5am and drive to school, of course, i forgot my sleeping medicine. we bought alcohol and i ended up passing out at 4am after a dizzying 2 hours of laying there jabbering. orientation was on the first freezing day i'd been in albuquerque, it lasted from 7am-5pm. i was not able to register for classes until orientation was over. school started in 4 days. so of course i got the runt of the litter classes.
6. my classes go as follows.
Monday&wednesday- sign 5:30
Tuesday& thursday- anthro- 11am-12:15,
architecture- 1-2:15
geology- 530-645
what a fucking joke.
7. not to mention being homesick and feeling completely alone in a house in the mountains, i'm living with my dad's girlfriend, who i now know is his fiancé. she is the most passive agressive woman i have ever met. she acts like a four year old and obviously has jealousy issues between my dad and his children. i wish i had time to get into all of the fucked up things she did when i was out here, but it's not worth the energy of my little fingers
8. FINALLY ONE GOOD THING, i fell in fucking love with one of my good friends from years ago. which is probably the only damn thing that still ties me to this square state.
9. no one would come visit me at my damn house, there was always some shitshat excuse, i get it, i live too far, i dont need your pity made up stories.
so my mum and i decided that we would try to get my dad to let me move into an apartment in albuquerque, so some issues would be eliminated. i was perfectly fine with that even though UNM is a shitschool.
i was perfectly fine living here and seeing my dad when he came to visit; until this afternoon.
what a fucking cowardice piece of shit. when i asked him why he hadn't told me he was engaged he said it was none of my business. well i told him that i'm not a distant friend of his, i'm his daughter, whats my business is his, and visa versa.
eitherway, i have a plane ticket for thursday night. valentines day, my half birthday, to fly home and have the rest of my shit sent to me.
you ask, what about school?
oh, i'm dropping out of unm, and working fulltime for spring, and making up for the hours lost during the summer.
i'll be applying to uic for this fall.
the one thing i'll miss most, is a precious boy i wish i could take with me.
