Real Rules Road World: Sconeborough Edition (meme)
First, 3 unrelated things I forgot to mention in my last post:
1) OH MY CHRIST, dannylarge IS 21 YEARS OF AGE AS OF YESTERDAY AND I DIDN'T MENTION IT. BUT I HAVE A CARD FOR HIM AS WELL AS SOME DUMB SHIT AND IF I EVER HAVE MONEY I'M GOING TO SEND A BOX TO HIM AND SARAH WITH JUNK AND CANDY IN IT. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DANIEL!!!! I HOPE IT WENT SWIMMINGLY!!
2) A few months ago, I downloaded a Girls Aloud cover done by Florence + the Machine and could find almost NOTHING about them on Wikipedia, but she's now absolutely massive Across The Pond and I had no idea. I thought she was my private secret--I couldn't stop listening to her demo versions of "Can't Speak French" and "Girl With One Eye" and now she's got an album and everything. Apologies to all the hipsters and Brits who may be sick to death of her, but I have to say that HER VOICE IS SO AMAZING. I LOVE HOW SHE SINGS. It's been a long time since I've felt this much passion over a woman's voice instead of a man's. She's fucking adorable and she's so addictive. I can't get enough of her soul-y twang. This is the kind of person Bernard Butler SHOULD be working with, not Duffy (oh yeah, I went there). I was shocked to learn she's younger than me, but then again, who the fuck isn't these days? But yes, I Love Florence and you should go and listen to her on the internet somewhere if you're not already being inundated with Lungs. She even has original songs now, two of which mekare_enra uploaded the other day and now I'm listening to them over and over like that's not annoying to other people at all. "Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)" and "Drumming Song" are both just Flipping Epic and if anyone over yonder wants to buy me a copy of her debut album, I'll mail you deliiiiicious cannnnndyyyyyy. I don't know when it'll get a physical release here. :\
3) In revising and updating my Ahnentafel, I've discovered that I share a common ancestor with George W. Bush (an Englishman named Nicholas Wallingford who lived from 1619 to 1682; he's on my Dad's side, which I find distinctly, if unexplainably, amusing) and that, so far (I'm missing huge tracts from both sides since the Zelhart and Townsend lines (my parents' last names) just END a few generations back and are untraceable, but all these maiden names are mad-crazy easy to trace), on Dad's side, I'm 1/8 Swede, 1/8 Norse, 1/256 Scottish, 1/256 English (so 1/4 Scandinavian, 1/128 British) and 1/512 German, and on Mom's side, I'm 1/8 Czech and 1/64 German. Oh yes, I counted down the generations. I think the English is on Mom's side, too; I just have to FIND it, and obviously with the Austro-Germanic name of 'Zelhart,' there's GOT to be MUCH more fucking German lurking on Dad's side. There's an amount of Irish on Dad's side that's about as negligible as the German, since the Irish Campbells apparently migrated over to Scotland to do their Bloodying. But I find it all terribly amusing and have unearthed some INCREDIBLE names: Hepzibah Wallingford, Heinrich Tessinger, Antonia Barta, Gertrude Courtenay, Hans Nickel Lepper--these are all great-great-greatx grandparents of mine!! HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT?!?!
... HEPZIBAH!
OKAY, now it's time for a meme, also posted by mekare_enra.
Pick 8 random friends you interact with a lot.
1. Chesh, my BFFL and partner in crime who dresses like it's 1975 London and you're not invited.
2. Hollysmeg, my only (and favorite, lolz) sibling who collects other people's trash and grows every seed she finds!
3. Elizabeth, that drawing girl what makes funny voices! YOU'RE BACKWARDS. Someone has to film the movies and take the incriminating photos, after all.
4. Sarah, my dancin' friend who makes paintings and HEY BABY, SHOW ELMO HOW YOU SHIT ON THE FLOOR. No one else will listen to Top 40 radio with me!
5. Daniel, Sarah's other half who is our chemist! He will either stop the house from being blown apart in a hair-coloring-experiment-gone-awry, or he will assist in its methodical destruction. Only time will tell.
6. Joiless, my favorite curmudgeonly writer/crossdresser who will hit us all with his cane when he tires of our antics, and oh, how he shall!
7. Nicky, resident English fop guitarist and world-class flirt! King of the fringe and the only person I know who can land amazing temp jobs that involve nothing but sandwiches and typing all day. We need skills like that.
8. Ruggy, our Texan artist who wants to collect stray dogs like they're keychains! It's going to be a crowded house.
These eight people you just picked are stuck in a house with you for a whole year. There is no leaving the house at all until the year is completely up. If you had to choose a person for every question below, write down which person it would be.
Well, let's hope someone delivers the groceries and takes out the trash, then, or it won't last long.
If there was someone singing in the morning, who would it most likely be?
Me. Perhaps Sarah or Nicky would belt out some tunes as well! But I will be singing all the time I'm not talking, BECAUSE I'M A DOUCHEBAG.
If someone was considered the dad and the mom of the house, who would it be?
Lord. Um... I think I'd appoint Joiless and Ruggy to those titles. Joiless would not be ruled over by anyone else and Ruggy would balance out his rage. Sarah and Daniel would be another pair. I'm only motherly in the cooking-and-cleaning aspect, so more of a maid, really.
If you wanted candy really badly and all eight in the house had some, who would you take it from?
Nicky. It'd be delicious English candy and he'd probably have more candy than anyone else would because he knows what's good.
If two people were caught making out in a closet, who would it be?
HUR. Daniel and Sarah, of course! Failing that, Nicky and anyone he could get his hands on. ;D Overall, there's not that much possibility for makeouts; Daniel's got his lady, Joiless Does Not Consider The Scones That Way, Elizabeth is straight, Hollysmeg is my sister... I don't know, maybe Ruggy and Chesh would surprise us with lesbian closet snogging?
If someone had to watch you brush your teeth every morning, who would it be?
What, is there a concern I'll swallow it and they've got to call Poison Control? When I was 4, I swallowed a goodly amount of Dimetapp and my mom made me drink a whole glass of water and called Poison Control. Nothing bad happened, though.
But uh, yeah. I guess I'd likely share a bathroom with Smegholly or Chesh, so one of them? I've shared bathrooms with Veer, too. There's not any tooth-cleaning shame among us that I'm aware of.
There were two bags of chips bought at the store, but 20 minutes later they are gone. Who ate them?
Chesh, without fail. She doesn't pig out, really, but man, if you leave her with leftover bacon or a bag of Doritos, it will VANISH.
Who would hate being in the house the most?
I'm not sure. Daniel might be like OH GOD TOO MANY NOISY PEOPLE, Joiless might be like OH GOD TOO MANY NOISY PEOPLE, Smeg might be like OH GOD TOO MANY NOISY PEOPLE, and Sarah, Ruggy and Veer might be like OH GOD I HAVE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE. It seems like Chesh, Nicky and I might be in our element, though, just chillin'. It depends. If the rest of them are slobs, I'll get very angry!
Someone took a brand-new pair of socks that were never worn; who is the thief?
Smeg or me. We've got Sock Issues.
Someone swept all the dirt under the rug. Who was it?
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT.
... WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. Any house I'm in is going to have like three amazing vacuums and a couple of mops, so there's NO EXCUSE. >(
If there were arguments in the house, who would be the ones arguing?
Nicky and Joiless, undoubtedly. Probably constantly. The rest of us would have tiffs, but I think that might be an all-out war.
Who would be the one missing their loved one(s) that wasn't in the house with them?
Okay, so I assume everyone has their favorite pet(s) there so Veer & Smeg have their fish and Ruggy's got her dog and Chesh has her Johnny and Sarah has Toni and Daniel has Muhzy and I have Kitten and Smeg has Lard and Joiless has whichever cat doesn't irritate him that day. After that, I think everyone would miss their mother! Joiless would miss Amy, Veer would miss Rashied, but I can't think of anyone who wouldn't miss SOME friend or sibling or whatever.
You walked downstairs in the middle of the night for a glass of water and someone is dancing on the table in their leopard thong; who is the crazy one?
Okay, so you say 'leopard' and I think Chesh, but I doubt she'd do this unless she'd been hitting the champagne real hard and someone left a Bloc Party record going... Sarah and Veer have sexy panties, but again, I'm not sure they'd dance in them... Nicky's an exhibitionist and a dancer so it's entirely possible it's him. Smeg only does the SmegDance in her usual layers because dancing in her underwear would be far too cold for her. I imagine everyone else is far too shy for this activity. Let's go with Nicky because it's a pretty lolarious mental image.
A pillow fight broke out. Who started it?
I don't know, we're all idiots. I feel like Chesh and I would do such a thing, but Sarah's equally likely. I don't know!
There's a marathon of your favourite TV show; what is it? Who would be watching it with you?
Doctor Who: Everyone, I think, except maybe Sarah and Daniel?
House: Chesh, maybe Smeg if something better's not on, Sarah.
Mighty Boosh: Veer, Chesh, Nicky.
Law & Order Whichever: Veer, Smeg.
I could go on. I won't.
Someone made a fort in the laundry room. Who was the kid?
... Nicky!
There's a prankster in the house that put plastic on the two toilets in the house. Who are the pranksters?
Wow, TWO toilets with five girls in the house? I don't know how that's going to fly. Also, I don't think any of us is that retarded. Wouldn't it just stick to your butt/flash in the light before a disaster occurred, anyway? I know I would notice if my toilet bowl lacked depth and a matte finish before I eliminated into it.
The music's too loud. Who turned it up?
ME. I'M A DOUCHEBAG. Everyone else listens to their music sparingly or like old people, I think, unless Daniel or Ruggy are hiding a punk rawk side. And to be fair, I don't know how Nicky and Joiless like their noises. Definitely not Veer, Smeg or Sarah (unless it's Flo Rida).
There's a mouse crawling on the floor all over the house. Who is the one to jump in someone's arms?
I scream inexplicably whenever I see an unexpected living thing on the floor, but I wouldn't jump into anyone's arms. Smeg, Chesh and Veer are definitely very cavalier about house-mice. Joiless would ... hit it with his cane. Nicky, I can see him going all BLARGH! at it. I know not what Daniel's or Ruggy's or Sarah's feelings on house-mice are.
Who would be the one to kill it?
I just said! Joiless. No, I jest. Everyone's humane and we'd take the damn thing out in a cup and leave it at someone else's gutter. I ASSUME WE'D JUST REBEL AND SNEAK OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR THIS.
Someone's crying--who is it and what happened?
Me or Sarah. What happened is we have the Depressions and it Got to us. No one else cries! Well, Nicky. But I've picked on him enough.
Who made pancakes in the morning and almost caught the house on fire?
Actually, I think we're all competent in kitchens... I don't know, having said that, I feel like Chesh might be all STOVES WILL KILL ME. Man, I've never made pancakes. That sounds so good right now. Blueberry ones. :o~~
Who gets sick of each other the fastest in the house?
Joiless and Nicky would hate each other instanter and the situation would never improve. I think everyone else would be okay for the most part.
Someone's tanning on the roof. Who is it?
... Dude, we are the whitest white people to ever white. Our porcelain complexions do not require sunshine. That said, I bet Smeg would like a sunny roof full of heat she could bask in.
Who is the clown?
E...veryone? We all bring the lulz, man.
Who is the most respectful?
I think we're all fairly upstanding. I steal food, though. Smeg steals blankets.
Who is the one you go to talk to the most?
Probably Smeg or Chesh. I'm just accustomed to talking to them all the fucking time anyway.
Who is the one that always comes up with stupid ideas?
Smeg and Chesh love to come up with grandiose, impractical plans that never come to fruition. I like to ... do the same, actually, in a different way. I suggest dumb shit a lot. But I don't know which of our ideas are stupid.
Who's in bed first?
Hur hur hurrr. No, I know what you mean. Veer or Sarah or Daniel, I think. Everyone else is retarded/nocturnal.
If someone woke everyone up with pots and pans, who would it be?
Me, but it'd be out of clumsiness. I doubt anyone would just beat pans to wake up everyone... IF THEY WANTED TO SEE TOMORROW.
Who is always dancing?
Me. Smeg will do the Smeg Dance! Sarah can break it down. I thought we already covered dancing, actually...
Someone has the same sweater as you, so you get mad at them. Who is it?
Why would I get mad? It's undoubtedly a different size so it wouldn't really fuck up the laundry. Chesh and I used to buy lots of matching clothes; Smeg and I still do sometimes. I've also got a few shirts like Veer's.
You spill ice all over the kitchen floor. Who would be the one to slip on it first?
What a stupid question. Is this scenario assuming that ice is less readily visible than it is, and also that, having spilled ice, I'm just going to leave it there for someone to concuss themselves upon? If we have one of those fridge ice machines, it could be ANYONE's fault, too. ... FUCK YOU, HYPOTHETICAL ICE SITUATION.
Damn, that took way too long! I'm out.
J.
1) OH MY CHRIST, dannylarge IS 21 YEARS OF AGE AS OF YESTERDAY AND I DIDN'T MENTION IT. BUT I HAVE A CARD FOR HIM AS WELL AS SOME DUMB SHIT AND IF I EVER HAVE MONEY I'M GOING TO SEND A BOX TO HIM AND SARAH WITH JUNK AND CANDY IN IT. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DANIEL!!!! I HOPE IT WENT SWIMMINGLY!!
2) A few months ago, I downloaded a Girls Aloud cover done by Florence + the Machine and could find almost NOTHING about them on Wikipedia, but she's now absolutely massive Across The Pond and I had no idea. I thought she was my private secret--I couldn't stop listening to her demo versions of "Can't Speak French" and "Girl With One Eye" and now she's got an album and everything. Apologies to all the hipsters and Brits who may be sick to death of her, but I have to say that HER VOICE IS SO AMAZING. I LOVE HOW SHE SINGS. It's been a long time since I've felt this much passion over a woman's voice instead of a man's. She's fucking adorable and she's so addictive. I can't get enough of her soul-y twang. This is the kind of person Bernard Butler SHOULD be working with, not Duffy (oh yeah, I went there). I was shocked to learn she's younger than me, but then again, who the fuck isn't these days? But yes, I Love Florence and you should go and listen to her on the internet somewhere if you're not already being inundated with Lungs. She even has original songs now, two of which mekare_enra uploaded the other day and now I'm listening to them over and over like that's not annoying to other people at all. "Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)" and "Drumming Song" are both just Flipping Epic and if anyone over yonder wants to buy me a copy of her debut album, I'll mail you deliiiiicious cannnnndyyyyyy. I don't know when it'll get a physical release here. :\
3) In revising and updating my Ahnentafel, I've discovered that I share a common ancestor with George W. Bush (an Englishman named Nicholas Wallingford who lived from 1619 to 1682; he's on my Dad's side, which I find distinctly, if unexplainably, amusing) and that, so far (I'm missing huge tracts from both sides since the Zelhart and Townsend lines (my parents' last names) just END a few generations back and are untraceable, but all these maiden names are mad-crazy easy to trace), on Dad's side, I'm 1/8 Swede, 1/8 Norse, 1/256 Scottish, 1/256 English (so 1/4 Scandinavian, 1/128 British) and 1/512 German, and on Mom's side, I'm 1/8 Czech and 1/64 German. Oh yes, I counted down the generations. I think the English is on Mom's side, too; I just have to FIND it, and obviously with the Austro-Germanic name of 'Zelhart,' there's GOT to be MUCH more fucking German lurking on Dad's side. There's an amount of Irish on Dad's side that's about as negligible as the German, since the Irish Campbells apparently migrated over to Scotland to do their Bloodying. But I find it all terribly amusing and have unearthed some INCREDIBLE names: Hepzibah Wallingford, Heinrich Tessinger, Antonia Barta, Gertrude Courtenay, Hans Nickel Lepper--these are all great-great-greatx grandparents of mine!! HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT?!?!
... HEPZIBAH!
OKAY, now it's time for a meme, also posted by mekare_enra.
Pick 8 random friends you interact with a lot.
1. Chesh, my BFFL and partner in crime who dresses like it's 1975 London and you're not invited.
2. Hollysmeg, my only (and favorite, lolz) sibling who collects other people's trash and grows every seed she finds!
3. Elizabeth, that drawing girl what makes funny voices! YOU'RE BACKWARDS. Someone has to film the movies and take the incriminating photos, after all.
4. Sarah, my dancin' friend who makes paintings and HEY BABY, SHOW ELMO HOW YOU SHIT ON THE FLOOR. No one else will listen to Top 40 radio with me!
5. Daniel, Sarah's other half who is our chemist! He will either stop the house from being blown apart in a hair-coloring-experiment-gone-awry, or he will assist in its methodical destruction. Only time will tell.
6. Joiless, my favorite curmudgeonly writer/crossdresser who will hit us all with his cane when he tires of our antics, and oh, how he shall!
7. Nicky, resident English fop guitarist and world-class flirt! King of the fringe and the only person I know who can land amazing temp jobs that involve nothing but sandwiches and typing all day. We need skills like that.
8. Ruggy, our Texan artist who wants to collect stray dogs like they're keychains! It's going to be a crowded house.
These eight people you just picked are stuck in a house with you for a whole year. There is no leaving the house at all until the year is completely up. If you had to choose a person for every question below, write down which person it would be.
Well, let's hope someone delivers the groceries and takes out the trash, then, or it won't last long.
If there was someone singing in the morning, who would it most likely be?
Me. Perhaps Sarah or Nicky would belt out some tunes as well! But I will be singing all the time I'm not talking, BECAUSE I'M A DOUCHEBAG.
If someone was considered the dad and the mom of the house, who would it be?
Lord. Um... I think I'd appoint Joiless and Ruggy to those titles. Joiless would not be ruled over by anyone else and Ruggy would balance out his rage. Sarah and Daniel would be another pair. I'm only motherly in the cooking-and-cleaning aspect, so more of a maid, really.
If you wanted candy really badly and all eight in the house had some, who would you take it from?
Nicky. It'd be delicious English candy and he'd probably have more candy than anyone else would because he knows what's good.
If two people were caught making out in a closet, who would it be?
HUR. Daniel and Sarah, of course! Failing that, Nicky and anyone he could get his hands on. ;D Overall, there's not that much possibility for makeouts; Daniel's got his lady, Joiless Does Not Consider The Scones That Way, Elizabeth is straight, Hollysmeg is my sister... I don't know, maybe Ruggy and Chesh would surprise us with lesbian closet snogging?
If someone had to watch you brush your teeth every morning, who would it be?
What, is there a concern I'll swallow it and they've got to call Poison Control? When I was 4, I swallowed a goodly amount of Dimetapp and my mom made me drink a whole glass of water and called Poison Control. Nothing bad happened, though.
But uh, yeah. I guess I'd likely share a bathroom with Smegholly or Chesh, so one of them? I've shared bathrooms with Veer, too. There's not any tooth-cleaning shame among us that I'm aware of.
There were two bags of chips bought at the store, but 20 minutes later they are gone. Who ate them?
Chesh, without fail. She doesn't pig out, really, but man, if you leave her with leftover bacon or a bag of Doritos, it will VANISH.
Who would hate being in the house the most?
I'm not sure. Daniel might be like OH GOD TOO MANY NOISY PEOPLE, Joiless might be like OH GOD TOO MANY NOISY PEOPLE, Smeg might be like OH GOD TOO MANY NOISY PEOPLE, and Sarah, Ruggy and Veer might be like OH GOD I HAVE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE. It seems like Chesh, Nicky and I might be in our element, though, just chillin'. It depends. If the rest of them are slobs, I'll get very angry!
Someone took a brand-new pair of socks that were never worn; who is the thief?
Smeg or me. We've got Sock Issues.
Someone swept all the dirt under the rug. Who was it?
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT.
... WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. Any house I'm in is going to have like three amazing vacuums and a couple of mops, so there's NO EXCUSE. >(
If there were arguments in the house, who would be the ones arguing?
Nicky and Joiless, undoubtedly. Probably constantly. The rest of us would have tiffs, but I think that might be an all-out war.
Who would be the one missing their loved one(s) that wasn't in the house with them?
Okay, so I assume everyone has their favorite pet(s) there so Veer & Smeg have their fish and Ruggy's got her dog and Chesh has her Johnny and Sarah has Toni and Daniel has Muhzy and I have Kitten and Smeg has Lard and Joiless has whichever cat doesn't irritate him that day. After that, I think everyone would miss their mother! Joiless would miss Amy, Veer would miss Rashied, but I can't think of anyone who wouldn't miss SOME friend or sibling or whatever.
You walked downstairs in the middle of the night for a glass of water and someone is dancing on the table in their leopard thong; who is the crazy one?
Okay, so you say 'leopard' and I think Chesh, but I doubt she'd do this unless she'd been hitting the champagne real hard and someone left a Bloc Party record going... Sarah and Veer have sexy panties, but again, I'm not sure they'd dance in them... Nicky's an exhibitionist and a dancer so it's entirely possible it's him. Smeg only does the SmegDance in her usual layers because dancing in her underwear would be far too cold for her. I imagine everyone else is far too shy for this activity. Let's go with Nicky because it's a pretty lolarious mental image.
A pillow fight broke out. Who started it?
I don't know, we're all idiots. I feel like Chesh and I would do such a thing, but Sarah's equally likely. I don't know!
There's a marathon of your favourite TV show; what is it? Who would be watching it with you?
Doctor Who: Everyone, I think, except maybe Sarah and Daniel?
House: Chesh, maybe Smeg if something better's not on, Sarah.
Mighty Boosh: Veer, Chesh, Nicky.
Law & Order Whichever: Veer, Smeg.
I could go on. I won't.
Someone made a fort in the laundry room. Who was the kid?
... Nicky!
There's a prankster in the house that put plastic on the two toilets in the house. Who are the pranksters?
Wow, TWO toilets with five girls in the house? I don't know how that's going to fly. Also, I don't think any of us is that retarded. Wouldn't it just stick to your butt/flash in the light before a disaster occurred, anyway? I know I would notice if my toilet bowl lacked depth and a matte finish before I eliminated into it.
The music's too loud. Who turned it up?
ME. I'M A DOUCHEBAG. Everyone else listens to their music sparingly or like old people, I think, unless Daniel or Ruggy are hiding a punk rawk side. And to be fair, I don't know how Nicky and Joiless like their noises. Definitely not Veer, Smeg or Sarah (unless it's Flo Rida).
There's a mouse crawling on the floor all over the house. Who is the one to jump in someone's arms?
I scream inexplicably whenever I see an unexpected living thing on the floor, but I wouldn't jump into anyone's arms. Smeg, Chesh and Veer are definitely very cavalier about house-mice. Joiless would ... hit it with his cane. Nicky, I can see him going all BLARGH! at it. I know not what Daniel's or Ruggy's or Sarah's feelings on house-mice are.
Who would be the one to kill it?
I just said! Joiless. No, I jest. Everyone's humane and we'd take the damn thing out in a cup and leave it at someone else's gutter. I ASSUME WE'D JUST REBEL AND SNEAK OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR THIS.
Someone's crying--who is it and what happened?
Me or Sarah. What happened is we have the Depressions and it Got to us. No one else cries! Well, Nicky. But I've picked on him enough.
Who made pancakes in the morning and almost caught the house on fire?
Actually, I think we're all competent in kitchens... I don't know, having said that, I feel like Chesh might be all STOVES WILL KILL ME. Man, I've never made pancakes. That sounds so good right now. Blueberry ones. :o~~
Who gets sick of each other the fastest in the house?
Joiless and Nicky would hate each other instanter and the situation would never improve. I think everyone else would be okay for the most part.
Someone's tanning on the roof. Who is it?
... Dude, we are the whitest white people to ever white. Our porcelain complexions do not require sunshine. That said, I bet Smeg would like a sunny roof full of heat she could bask in.
Who is the clown?
E...veryone? We all bring the lulz, man.
Who is the most respectful?
I think we're all fairly upstanding. I steal food, though. Smeg steals blankets.
Who is the one you go to talk to the most?
Probably Smeg or Chesh. I'm just accustomed to talking to them all the fucking time anyway.
Who is the one that always comes up with stupid ideas?
Smeg and Chesh love to come up with grandiose, impractical plans that never come to fruition. I like to ... do the same, actually, in a different way. I suggest dumb shit a lot. But I don't know which of our ideas are stupid.
Who's in bed first?
Hur hur hurrr. No, I know what you mean. Veer or Sarah or Daniel, I think. Everyone else is retarded/nocturnal.
If someone woke everyone up with pots and pans, who would it be?
Me, but it'd be out of clumsiness. I doubt anyone would just beat pans to wake up everyone... IF THEY WANTED TO SEE TOMORROW.
Who is always dancing?
Me. Smeg will do the Smeg Dance! Sarah can break it down. I thought we already covered dancing, actually...
Someone has the same sweater as you, so you get mad at them. Who is it?
Why would I get mad? It's undoubtedly a different size so it wouldn't really fuck up the laundry. Chesh and I used to buy lots of matching clothes; Smeg and I still do sometimes. I've also got a few shirts like Veer's.
You spill ice all over the kitchen floor. Who would be the one to slip on it first?
What a stupid question. Is this scenario assuming that ice is less readily visible than it is, and also that, having spilled ice, I'm just going to leave it there for someone to concuss themselves upon? If we have one of those fridge ice machines, it could be ANYONE's fault, too. ... FUCK YOU, HYPOTHETICAL ICE SITUATION.
Damn, that took way too long! I'm out.
J.