do I look gay to you?
So I was sad earlier but I'm cracking the hell up now because Veer's mom thinks I'm dating her. Part of the AIM conversation:
tiger o matic = Veer; Cheshworth = Chesh (duh, she made it easy for you); pop trashbag = Dessy; skylinehighrise = yrs truly (me)
tiger o matic: my mom came in and was like WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO
tiger o matic: because she was mad about me missing class on thursday
Cheshworth: NAKED BOYS
tiger o matic: I WISH. but only if they were hot.
Cheshworth: AND NAKED GIRLS. I DON'T DISCRIMINATE, MOM.
tiger o matic: she says she doesn't want me to stay up until 2 am talking to you guys.
tiger o matic: because it's making me lazy.
tiger o matic: oh, earlier today she asked me if jess had a boyfriend, and i was like "no..." and she said "jess is gay, isn't she?"
tiger o matic: and i was like WTF
tiger o matic: HOW DID YOU...
Cheshworth: *Dies*
Cheshworth: Your MOM.
tiger o matic: she knows, man
Cheshworth: I think she might be one of those people who thinks EVERYONE is gay until proven otherwise.
tiger o matic: then she was like "I SAW THE WAY SHE WAS LOOKING AT YOU" and i was like "NO MOM JESS DOESN'T LIKE ME THAT WAY"
tiger o matic: she asked me if i was jess's girlfriend.
tiger o matic: but i said no. and then i had to tell her BUT I ONLY LIKE BOYS
Cheshworth: so it's purely coincidental when she gets it right.
tiger o matic: she asked me if i was sure
Cheshworth: Your life is such a sitcom.
tiger o matic: like i'd just change my mind
Cheshworth: I SAW THE WAY SHE WAS LOOKING AT YOU
Cheshworth: I don't get what she's after.
tiger o matic: "wait, no. i don't... know... OH MY GOD MOM I'M GAY D:"
Cheshworth: Hasn't she quizzed you like, 30 times now?
tiger o matic: i guess.
Cheshworth: you'd think she'd have accepted that her daughter might be a bit homosexual.
Cheshworth: and stopped looking for verification.
Cheshworth: Because what's she going to do if she gets it?
tiger o matic: i think she wants me to be so she can have an excuse for me being weird
skylinehighrise: ...*dies* naked boys
skylinehighrise: ........
skylinehighrise: wait
skylinehighrise: what
Cheshworth: "Your daughter's late for dinner." "That's because she's a lesbian."
skylinehighrise: i looked at you in a gay way?
skylinehighrise: I'M SORRY
skylinehighrise: JESUS
tiger o matic: "doesn't your daughter have friends?" "no, she's a lesbian." "doesn't she do anything besides sit at the computer all day?" "no, she's a lesbian."
So yeah, er. MY parents don't seem to think I'm queer (despite the rainbow pride flag, the suspiciously close female best friend, the really gay bands, the rapt attention to all same-sex marriage issues on the news, etc.), but then, no one else's parents know I'm just cuddly by nature:
Cheshworth: Jess is very hands on, though.
Cheshworth: Even back before she was spreading her gay to the world.
pop trashbag: she is
skylinehighrise: jess doesn't talk about brett anderson's sexy torso enough
Cheshworth: It could be that.
tiger o matic: yeah.
pop trashbag: hahahahaha
skylinehighrise: I'M SORRY I HUG PEOPLE
tiger o matic: chesh isn't as touchy feely as jess is.
skylinehighrise: veer's family is really non huggy though
skylinehighrise: so i guess i kind of get that?
tiger o matic: the problem is that nobody else realizes that you're that way with everyone.
skylinehighrise: her mom hugged me before i left and i was like DUDE WHOA
pop trashbag: Nikki thought it was weird when you put your head in my lap at the vegan thanksgiving thing
skylinehighrise: ....
Cheshworth: LMAO
tiger o matic: ...
tiger o matic: that sounds really dirty
pop trashbag: and I was like "BUT THAT'S HOW WE ROLL."
skylinehighrise: IT WASN'T FACE DOWN.
pop trashbag: HAHAHAHAHA
tiger o matic: I KNOW
skylinehighrise: i don't remember doing that
Cheshworth: "This is what we're eatin' tonight!"
...
Cheshworth: she did that to me once in front of caytlin.
Cheshworth: then caytlin was like "ARE THEY LESBIANS?"
skylinehighrise: WHEN?
skylinehighrise: WHAT THE HELL?
Cheshworth: because Jess and Smeg are one.
Cheshworth: the first time you visited!
Cheshworth: In her apartment!
...
skylinehighrise: my parents don't seem to find it weird!
Cheshworth: Your parents see you do it to every person who comes through the door, so their option is mostly "jess is an equal-opportunity cuddleslut"
And then The Truth About Veer came out (no horrific pun intended):
tiger o matic: my mom never hugs any of us
tiger o matic: my dad never touches anyone.
tiger o matic: he always has his own little bubble and he stays in it
skylinehighrise: silver, tell your mom that the reason you only talk to people online and have 5 lesbian girlfriends is because you didn't get cuddled enough as a child.
The moral of this is that if I make some kind of physical contact with you, male or female, IT DOES NOT MEAN I WANT TO BONE YOU. Also, Smeg and I are two different people and just because I'M bisexual doesn't make HER bisexual and some people also think that because we're sisters, we're lovers, and I'm here to tell you now that that is WRONG.
I do find this funny, since Chesh's mom thought I was gay, too. MY PARENTS don't think I'm gay, although a lot of people have told me they must know and choose not to talk to me about it. I haven't ever felt like telling them because it'd take me forever just to explain the difference between 'bisexual' and 'lesbian,' for one thing, and because I don't want them to freak out in the event they truly ARE clueless. It's been 5 years since I came out to myself and about 4 and a half since I came out to everybody else, and now I'm just so used to it that if anyone IS weirded out by it, I don't understand why. It doesn't change me as a person. I'm not going to rape your dog. If anything, it made me more open and interesting - and I got into a lot of fantastically gay music since then, too!
Chesh is also WAY more homosexual than I am, just so you know. Even if she wears more skirts and makeup and has really cute hair, she is still a massive fount of queer knowledge and hates boys unless they're tied to the radiators.
J.
tiger o matic = Veer; Cheshworth = Chesh (duh, she made it easy for you); pop trashbag = Dessy; skylinehighrise = yrs truly (me)
tiger o matic: my mom came in and was like WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO
tiger o matic: because she was mad about me missing class on thursday
Cheshworth: NAKED BOYS
tiger o matic: I WISH. but only if they were hot.
Cheshworth: AND NAKED GIRLS. I DON'T DISCRIMINATE, MOM.
tiger o matic: she says she doesn't want me to stay up until 2 am talking to you guys.
tiger o matic: because it's making me lazy.
tiger o matic: oh, earlier today she asked me if jess had a boyfriend, and i was like "no..." and she said "jess is gay, isn't she?"
tiger o matic: and i was like WTF
tiger o matic: HOW DID YOU...
Cheshworth: *Dies*
Cheshworth: Your MOM.
tiger o matic: she knows, man
Cheshworth: I think she might be one of those people who thinks EVERYONE is gay until proven otherwise.
tiger o matic: then she was like "I SAW THE WAY SHE WAS LOOKING AT YOU" and i was like "NO MOM JESS DOESN'T LIKE ME THAT WAY"
tiger o matic: she asked me if i was jess's girlfriend.
tiger o matic: but i said no. and then i had to tell her BUT I ONLY LIKE BOYS
Cheshworth: so it's purely coincidental when she gets it right.
tiger o matic: she asked me if i was sure
Cheshworth: Your life is such a sitcom.
tiger o matic: like i'd just change my mind
Cheshworth: I SAW THE WAY SHE WAS LOOKING AT YOU
Cheshworth: I don't get what she's after.
tiger o matic: "wait, no. i don't... know... OH MY GOD MOM I'M GAY D:"
Cheshworth: Hasn't she quizzed you like, 30 times now?
tiger o matic: i guess.
Cheshworth: you'd think she'd have accepted that her daughter might be a bit homosexual.
Cheshworth: and stopped looking for verification.
Cheshworth: Because what's she going to do if she gets it?
tiger o matic: i think she wants me to be so she can have an excuse for me being weird
skylinehighrise: ...*dies* naked boys
skylinehighrise: ........
skylinehighrise: wait
skylinehighrise: what
Cheshworth: "Your daughter's late for dinner." "That's because she's a lesbian."
skylinehighrise: i looked at you in a gay way?
skylinehighrise: I'M SORRY
skylinehighrise: JESUS
tiger o matic: "doesn't your daughter have friends?" "no, she's a lesbian." "doesn't she do anything besides sit at the computer all day?" "no, she's a lesbian."
So yeah, er. MY parents don't seem to think I'm queer (despite the rainbow pride flag, the suspiciously close female best friend, the really gay bands, the rapt attention to all same-sex marriage issues on the news, etc.), but then, no one else's parents know I'm just cuddly by nature:
Cheshworth: Jess is very hands on, though.
Cheshworth: Even back before she was spreading her gay to the world.
pop trashbag: she is
skylinehighrise: jess doesn't talk about brett anderson's sexy torso enough
Cheshworth: It could be that.
tiger o matic: yeah.
pop trashbag: hahahahaha
skylinehighrise: I'M SORRY I HUG PEOPLE
tiger o matic: chesh isn't as touchy feely as jess is.
skylinehighrise: veer's family is really non huggy though
skylinehighrise: so i guess i kind of get that?
tiger o matic: the problem is that nobody else realizes that you're that way with everyone.
skylinehighrise: her mom hugged me before i left and i was like DUDE WHOA
pop trashbag: Nikki thought it was weird when you put your head in my lap at the vegan thanksgiving thing
skylinehighrise: ....
Cheshworth: LMAO
tiger o matic: ...
tiger o matic: that sounds really dirty
pop trashbag: and I was like "BUT THAT'S HOW WE ROLL."
skylinehighrise: IT WASN'T FACE DOWN.
pop trashbag: HAHAHAHAHA
tiger o matic: I KNOW
skylinehighrise: i don't remember doing that
Cheshworth: "This is what we're eatin' tonight!"
...
Cheshworth: she did that to me once in front of caytlin.
Cheshworth: then caytlin was like "ARE THEY LESBIANS?"
skylinehighrise: WHEN?
skylinehighrise: WHAT THE HELL?
Cheshworth: because Jess and Smeg are one.
Cheshworth: the first time you visited!
Cheshworth: In her apartment!
...
skylinehighrise: my parents don't seem to find it weird!
Cheshworth: Your parents see you do it to every person who comes through the door, so their option is mostly "jess is an equal-opportunity cuddleslut"
And then The Truth About Veer came out (no horrific pun intended):
tiger o matic: my mom never hugs any of us
tiger o matic: my dad never touches anyone.
tiger o matic: he always has his own little bubble and he stays in it
skylinehighrise: silver, tell your mom that the reason you only talk to people online and have 5 lesbian girlfriends is because you didn't get cuddled enough as a child.
The moral of this is that if I make some kind of physical contact with you, male or female, IT DOES NOT MEAN I WANT TO BONE YOU. Also, Smeg and I are two different people and just because I'M bisexual doesn't make HER bisexual and some people also think that because we're sisters, we're lovers, and I'm here to tell you now that that is WRONG.
I do find this funny, since Chesh's mom thought I was gay, too. MY PARENTS don't think I'm gay, although a lot of people have told me they must know and choose not to talk to me about it. I haven't ever felt like telling them because it'd take me forever just to explain the difference between 'bisexual' and 'lesbian,' for one thing, and because I don't want them to freak out in the event they truly ARE clueless. It's been 5 years since I came out to myself and about 4 and a half since I came out to everybody else, and now I'm just so used to it that if anyone IS weirded out by it, I don't understand why. It doesn't change me as a person. I'm not going to rape your dog. If anything, it made me more open and interesting - and I got into a lot of fantastically gay music since then, too!
Chesh is also WAY more homosexual than I am, just so you know. Even if she wears more skirts and makeup and has really cute hair, she is still a massive fount of queer knowledge and hates boys unless they're tied to the radiators.
J.