Spill your guts all over the place.
January 1 I was happy. I was with Branden and I had plans to move to San Antonio. I thought everything was perfect.
February 1 Branden left for boot camp. I was all alone. I started drinking a lot and smoking a lot of pot.
February 26 I met BA.
March 11 I saw circle takes the square. It was an awful night. I can't tell you why.
April 7 my hair got fried. I had to cut it all off.
April 26 I told Branden that I couldn't move to San Antonio.
April 28 I went to San Antonio for the weekend.
April 29 Branden and I broke up. I ran into RJ in San Antonio. He yelled at me.
April 30 Judy and I stopped being friends. I can't tell you why.
May 1 I decided I wanted to move out.
May 4 I went to argonaut heights. I signed the papers
May 11 I moved into my apartment. Alone.
May 21 Judy and I became friends again
May 30 was the worst birthday of my life. I didn't do anything. I turned 20 years old.
June 3 I had an surprise birthday party. It made up for my shitty ass birthday.
June 10 I had another birthday party for some reason. I started talking to Josh.
June 11 Josh came over and watched a movie.
June 15 Josh and I had our first kiss. I then became the worst friend of all time
June 18 Josh and I started dating.
June 24 everyone found out. I lost all my friends except for Michelle.
June 29 was the best day of my life.
July 4 I told Josh that I loved him. He didn't say it back.
July 22 Josh told me that he was second guessing our relationship.
July 26 Josh broke my heart.
July 30 I met Michael Hash.
August 21 I realized that I really liked Hash.
August 26 I found out that Nicole and Josh were together. I didn't give a shit.
September 12 would have been my 2 year anniversary with Tom.
September 16 I realized that Hash didn't want anything to do with me.
September 20 was my last day at Pet's Barn. I worked there 2 years.
October 1 was 1 year since Tom broke my heart. I started reading Harry Potter that day.
October 2 was the first time Michael Hash and I went anywhere together. We saw a movie and he bought me popcorn and a cherry coke.
October 4 I bought book 2.
October 29 I started talking to Josh again. It was a drunken conversation, obviously.
RocknRollLynn: hi
Toothache Time: Hey. c:
RocknRollLynn: well, I'm sorry if I was annoying you with text messages yesterday
Toothache Time: I threw up because of alcohol for the first time a little bit ago.
Toothache Time: An' you weren't.
RocknRollLynn: aww, I'm sorry.
RocknRollLynn: you didn't drive home did you?
Toothache Time: No, well, Joy drove us all home and hten I drove from her house to mine which is about a mile.
RocknRollLynn: good :]
RocknRollLynn: just want you to be safe
Toothache Time: You're too good to me.
RocknRollLynn: aw, no I'm not.
Toothache Time: I don't deserve your love, Lynn. I don't.
RocknRollLynn: I don't see why not.
RocknRollLynn: that's quite silly
Toothache Time: Haha, you're quite silly. I love you, though, for loving me. I don't deserve you and I love you for looking past that.
RocknRollLynn: I'll always love you. You know that.
RocknRollLynn: but I'm obviously not "too good" or you wouldn't have broken up with me. ya know.
RocknRollLynn: sorry I'm slightly drunk.
Toothache Time: I am too.
Toothache Time: And I was stupid to break up with you.
Toothache Time: Nobody will ever be good to me like you were.
RocknRollLynn: I don't understand then.
Toothache Time: I don't understand myself. Bleh.
RocknRollLynn: I just wanted to kiss you so badly the other night.
RocknRollLynn: I shouldn't tell you that, though.
Toothache Time: I just wanted to hold you and cry and apologise. Lynn I'm sorry that I hurt you. I can't believe that you could ever forgive me.
RocknRollLynn: why didn't you?
Toothache Time: I don't know. I just don't. : /
RocknRollLynn: sometimes I wish that I could have one more day. Like the day we took mushrooms. yeah, just one more fun day with you.
Toothache Time: I love you for being so good to me, Lynnette.
Toothache Time: I don't deserve you, not in the least.
RocknRollLynn: I hate when you say that.
Toothache Time: I'm sorry.
RocknRollLynn: It isn't true ya know.
Toothache Time: I don't know, I guess.
Toothache Time: I remember when you told me thtI could stay with you one time, I realized that you were being serious. I didn't think that you were at the time.
RocknRollLynn: wait...
RocknRollLynn: stay with me?
Toothache Time: I dunno, it was one of the times my parents threatened to kick me out.
RocknRollLynn: oh
RocknRollLynn: of course I was being serious
Toothache Time: I know now.
Toothache Time: I'm sorry that it took me being torn in half to appreciate you. I wish I would have just on your word. I'm so stupid.
RocknRollLynn: you're far from stupid
Toothache Time: Thank you for thinking so.
Toothache Time: Thank you for being so good to me.
Toothache Time: Haha, you made me cry a whole lot. : /
Toothache Time: Well, I guess I made myself.
RocknRollLynn: I cant eat swedish fish anymore.
RocknRollLynn: You did the same to me.
Toothache Time: I'm so sorryo.
RocknRollLynn: but I suppose I made myself also
Toothache Time: I never wanted for you to cry, ever.
RocknRollLynn: aw, well I do it to myself.
RocknRollLynn: especially when I listen to xiu xiu
RocknRollLynn: muppet face kills
Toothache Time: I wish you were here with me.
RocknRollLynn: do you mean that?
RocknRollLynn: of course you mean that.
Toothache Time: I do.
RocknRollLynn: what would you do?
Toothache Time: I just want to hold you and sleep with you. I just want to make everything okay
Toothache Time: I wish that when you told me you loved me I would have told you I loved you too.
Toothache Time: I wish so hard.
RocknRollLynn: jesus I'm crying. I'm such a baby.
Toothache Time: I am too.
RocknRollLynn: and I'm listening to xiu xiu. it's making it worse
Toothache Time: Please believe me when I say I know how you feel. A nd I regret a lot and I hurt.
Toothache Time: I'm sorry for bringing all of this up. You shouldn't cry for me.
RocknRollLynn: I believe you.
RocknRollLynn: you're worth crying over.
Toothache Time: I'm not.
RocknRollLynn: you are.
Toothache Time: You are.
RocknRollLynn: I'm not.
Toothache Time: You're the best, most genuine person I've ever met, ever.
Toothache Time: I don't even deserve for you to look at me.
RocknRollLynn: don't you ever say that.
RocknRollLynn: I hope I can see you soon.
Toothache Time: You will.
Toothache Time: For you.
Toothache Time: I'm sorry that I'm talking to you drunk, you probably think it makes all of this not count. : /
RocknRollLynn: I'm kinda scared that you wont remember this conversation
Toothache Time: I will.
Toothache Time: I'm not that bad, haha.
RocknRollLynn: haha aw
Toothache Time: Haha, that was one of my favorite nights we had together, when we watched that terrible horror flick. I thought it was really cute you didn't want to see it.
RocknRollLynn: aww which movie?
Toothache Time: The Hills Have Eyes.
Toothache Time: c:
Toothache Time: It was really good to have dinner with you the other night.
RocknRollLynn: I was sleepy! hehe
RocknRollLynn: I had a lot of fun :]
Toothache Time: Me too.
Toothache Time: I hope ralphie is okay. I love him a lot.
RocknRollLynn: ralphy* hahaha.
RocknRollLynn: he's fine.
Toothache Time: Haha, either way.
RocknRollLynn: ha
Toothache Time: c:
Toothache Time: That made me cry because I'm dumb.
Toothache Time: Haha.
RocknRollLynn: you should see me right now. it's pretty horrible. haha
Toothache Time: Haha, I guaruntee you I'm worse.
RocknRollLynn: I doubt it.
October 31 I talked to Judy for the first time in months. I told her happy birthday.
November 1 I hung out with Josh again. I wish I wouldn't have.
Novemeber 9 was the last time I saw him.
November 15 I remember being so angry at Josh for doing this to me again.
I also came to the conclusion that I was an alcoholic that day.
November 22 Ally and I became friends again.
November 23 I saw RJ for the first time in 7 months. He always leaves me.
November 30 I told Hash that he would never find anyone like me.
December 8 I apologized to him.
December 11 I went to Albuquerque to see The Faint.
December 15 I hung out with Justin for the first time in a while. He's such a wonderful friend.
December 22 Michelle and I stopped talking.
December 23 Corey IM'd me.
December 25 was a lame Christmas. I wish I was a little kid sometimes.
Corey asked me to hang out that day.
December 26 we went on a "date". He kissed me. Judy I became friends again that day.
December 28 he cut me off completely. This always happens.
December 30 I went ghost hunting with Ally, Matt [hollister], Drew [Red]. They don't even live in El Paso, but it was the most fun I've had in a while.
December 31 I'm sitting here wondering what 2007 is going to hold. In hopes that it wont be anything like 2006.
Branden and I are still good friends. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I had moved to San Antonio. He and I both weren't ready. I was just his first love. I know that I'll never find another guy like him, though. He has a beautiful girlfriend that he's completely in love with. I'm so happy for him.
Josh and I talk every now and then. I knew that whole relationship couldn't work from the beginning. He is one of the most interesting people in the whole world and I'll never forget him. He's moving to Austin in about a week or so. He's been waiting a long time for this. Good for him.
Michael Hash and I talk all the time. I've accepted the fact that nothing could happen between us. At least for now. I thought for a long while that he was my dream boy. Probably because of the beard. I'm kidding, of course. I hope we never stop being friends.
RJ and I...Well, it's complicated. We'll always love each other. We just have awful timing.
I heard he's moving to Boston. I miss him with all my heart.
Tom and I don't speak to each other anymore, of course. My mother saw him and Kristen at the grocery store the other day. She said they looked happy. I just smiled.
Judy and I will probably never be the same again. We are friends, which is something I didn't expect to happen this year. She's such a wonderful person and she understands that people make mistakes. I never want to do anything to damage our friendship again.
Ally and I are best friends again, which is also something I didn't expect. She's one of the few people in this world that understands me. We're probably going to be roomies sometime this next year and it's going to be awesome.
What's done is done. I can't change anything. If I hurt you or made you feel bad in any way, I'm sorry.
February 1 Branden left for boot camp. I was all alone. I started drinking a lot and smoking a lot of pot.
February 26 I met BA.
March 11 I saw circle takes the square. It was an awful night. I can't tell you why.
April 7 my hair got fried. I had to cut it all off.
April 26 I told Branden that I couldn't move to San Antonio.
April 28 I went to San Antonio for the weekend.
April 29 Branden and I broke up. I ran into RJ in San Antonio. He yelled at me.
April 30 Judy and I stopped being friends. I can't tell you why.
May 1 I decided I wanted to move out.
May 4 I went to argonaut heights. I signed the papers
May 11 I moved into my apartment. Alone.
May 21 Judy and I became friends again
May 30 was the worst birthday of my life. I didn't do anything. I turned 20 years old.
June 3 I had an surprise birthday party. It made up for my shitty ass birthday.
June 10 I had another birthday party for some reason. I started talking to Josh.
June 11 Josh came over and watched a movie.
June 15 Josh and I had our first kiss. I then became the worst friend of all time
June 18 Josh and I started dating.
June 24 everyone found out. I lost all my friends except for Michelle.
June 29 was the best day of my life.
July 4 I told Josh that I loved him. He didn't say it back.
July 22 Josh told me that he was second guessing our relationship.
July 26 Josh broke my heart.
July 30 I met Michael Hash.
August 21 I realized that I really liked Hash.
August 26 I found out that Nicole and Josh were together. I didn't give a shit.
September 12 would have been my 2 year anniversary with Tom.
September 16 I realized that Hash didn't want anything to do with me.
September 20 was my last day at Pet's Barn. I worked there 2 years.
October 1 was 1 year since Tom broke my heart. I started reading Harry Potter that day.
October 2 was the first time Michael Hash and I went anywhere together. We saw a movie and he bought me popcorn and a cherry coke.
October 4 I bought book 2.
October 29 I started talking to Josh again. It was a drunken conversation, obviously.
RocknRollLynn: hi
Toothache Time: Hey. c:
RocknRollLynn: well, I'm sorry if I was annoying you with text messages yesterday
Toothache Time: I threw up because of alcohol for the first time a little bit ago.
Toothache Time: An' you weren't.
RocknRollLynn: aww, I'm sorry.
RocknRollLynn: you didn't drive home did you?
Toothache Time: No, well, Joy drove us all home and hten I drove from her house to mine which is about a mile.
RocknRollLynn: good :]
RocknRollLynn: just want you to be safe
Toothache Time: You're too good to me.
RocknRollLynn: aw, no I'm not.
Toothache Time: I don't deserve your love, Lynn. I don't.
RocknRollLynn: I don't see why not.
RocknRollLynn: that's quite silly
Toothache Time: Haha, you're quite silly. I love you, though, for loving me. I don't deserve you and I love you for looking past that.
RocknRollLynn: I'll always love you. You know that.
RocknRollLynn: but I'm obviously not "too good" or you wouldn't have broken up with me. ya know.
RocknRollLynn: sorry I'm slightly drunk.
Toothache Time: I am too.
Toothache Time: And I was stupid to break up with you.
Toothache Time: Nobody will ever be good to me like you were.
RocknRollLynn: I don't understand then.
Toothache Time: I don't understand myself. Bleh.
RocknRollLynn: I just wanted to kiss you so badly the other night.
RocknRollLynn: I shouldn't tell you that, though.
Toothache Time: I just wanted to hold you and cry and apologise. Lynn I'm sorry that I hurt you. I can't believe that you could ever forgive me.
RocknRollLynn: why didn't you?
Toothache Time: I don't know. I just don't. : /
RocknRollLynn: sometimes I wish that I could have one more day. Like the day we took mushrooms. yeah, just one more fun day with you.
Toothache Time: I love you for being so good to me, Lynnette.
Toothache Time: I don't deserve you, not in the least.
RocknRollLynn: I hate when you say that.
Toothache Time: I'm sorry.
RocknRollLynn: It isn't true ya know.
Toothache Time: I don't know, I guess.
Toothache Time: I remember when you told me thtI could stay with you one time, I realized that you were being serious. I didn't think that you were at the time.
RocknRollLynn: wait...
RocknRollLynn: stay with me?
Toothache Time: I dunno, it was one of the times my parents threatened to kick me out.
RocknRollLynn: oh
RocknRollLynn: of course I was being serious
Toothache Time: I know now.
Toothache Time: I'm sorry that it took me being torn in half to appreciate you. I wish I would have just on your word. I'm so stupid.
RocknRollLynn: you're far from stupid
Toothache Time: Thank you for thinking so.
Toothache Time: Thank you for being so good to me.
Toothache Time: Haha, you made me cry a whole lot. : /
Toothache Time: Well, I guess I made myself.
RocknRollLynn: I cant eat swedish fish anymore.
RocknRollLynn: You did the same to me.
Toothache Time: I'm so sorryo.
RocknRollLynn: but I suppose I made myself also
Toothache Time: I never wanted for you to cry, ever.
RocknRollLynn: aw, well I do it to myself.
RocknRollLynn: especially when I listen to xiu xiu
RocknRollLynn: muppet face kills
Toothache Time: I wish you were here with me.
RocknRollLynn: do you mean that?
RocknRollLynn: of course you mean that.
Toothache Time: I do.
RocknRollLynn: what would you do?
Toothache Time: I just want to hold you and sleep with you. I just want to make everything okay
Toothache Time: I wish that when you told me you loved me I would have told you I loved you too.
Toothache Time: I wish so hard.
RocknRollLynn: jesus I'm crying. I'm such a baby.
Toothache Time: I am too.
RocknRollLynn: and I'm listening to xiu xiu. it's making it worse
Toothache Time: Please believe me when I say I know how you feel. A nd I regret a lot and I hurt.
Toothache Time: I'm sorry for bringing all of this up. You shouldn't cry for me.
RocknRollLynn: I believe you.
RocknRollLynn: you're worth crying over.
Toothache Time: I'm not.
RocknRollLynn: you are.
Toothache Time: You are.
RocknRollLynn: I'm not.
Toothache Time: You're the best, most genuine person I've ever met, ever.
Toothache Time: I don't even deserve for you to look at me.
RocknRollLynn: don't you ever say that.
RocknRollLynn: I hope I can see you soon.
Toothache Time: You will.
Toothache Time: For you.
Toothache Time: I'm sorry that I'm talking to you drunk, you probably think it makes all of this not count. : /
RocknRollLynn: I'm kinda scared that you wont remember this conversation
Toothache Time: I will.
Toothache Time: I'm not that bad, haha.
RocknRollLynn: haha aw
Toothache Time: Haha, that was one of my favorite nights we had together, when we watched that terrible horror flick. I thought it was really cute you didn't want to see it.
RocknRollLynn: aww which movie?
Toothache Time: The Hills Have Eyes.
Toothache Time: c:
Toothache Time: It was really good to have dinner with you the other night.
RocknRollLynn: I was sleepy! hehe
RocknRollLynn: I had a lot of fun :]
Toothache Time: Me too.
Toothache Time: I hope ralphie is okay. I love him a lot.
RocknRollLynn: ralphy* hahaha.
RocknRollLynn: he's fine.
Toothache Time: Haha, either way.
RocknRollLynn: ha
Toothache Time: c:
Toothache Time: That made me cry because I'm dumb.
Toothache Time: Haha.
RocknRollLynn: you should see me right now. it's pretty horrible. haha
Toothache Time: Haha, I guaruntee you I'm worse.
RocknRollLynn: I doubt it.
October 31 I talked to Judy for the first time in months. I told her happy birthday.
November 1 I hung out with Josh again. I wish I wouldn't have.
Novemeber 9 was the last time I saw him.
November 15 I remember being so angry at Josh for doing this to me again.
I also came to the conclusion that I was an alcoholic that day.
November 22 Ally and I became friends again.
November 23 I saw RJ for the first time in 7 months. He always leaves me.
November 30 I told Hash that he would never find anyone like me.
December 8 I apologized to him.
December 11 I went to Albuquerque to see The Faint.
December 15 I hung out with Justin for the first time in a while. He's such a wonderful friend.
December 22 Michelle and I stopped talking.
December 23 Corey IM'd me.
December 25 was a lame Christmas. I wish I was a little kid sometimes.
Corey asked me to hang out that day.
December 26 we went on a "date". He kissed me. Judy I became friends again that day.
December 28 he cut me off completely. This always happens.
December 30 I went ghost hunting with Ally, Matt [hollister], Drew [Red]. They don't even live in El Paso, but it was the most fun I've had in a while.
December 31 I'm sitting here wondering what 2007 is going to hold. In hopes that it wont be anything like 2006.
Branden and I are still good friends. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I had moved to San Antonio. He and I both weren't ready. I was just his first love. I know that I'll never find another guy like him, though. He has a beautiful girlfriend that he's completely in love with. I'm so happy for him.
Josh and I talk every now and then. I knew that whole relationship couldn't work from the beginning. He is one of the most interesting people in the whole world and I'll never forget him. He's moving to Austin in about a week or so. He's been waiting a long time for this. Good for him.
Michael Hash and I talk all the time. I've accepted the fact that nothing could happen between us. At least for now. I thought for a long while that he was my dream boy. Probably because of the beard. I'm kidding, of course. I hope we never stop being friends.
RJ and I...Well, it's complicated. We'll always love each other. We just have awful timing.
I heard he's moving to Boston. I miss him with all my heart.
Tom and I don't speak to each other anymore, of course. My mother saw him and Kristen at the grocery store the other day. She said they looked happy. I just smiled.
Judy and I will probably never be the same again. We are friends, which is something I didn't expect to happen this year. She's such a wonderful person and she understands that people make mistakes. I never want to do anything to damage our friendship again.
Ally and I are best friends again, which is also something I didn't expect. She's one of the few people in this world that understands me. We're probably going to be roomies sometime this next year and it's going to be awesome.
What's done is done. I can't change anything. If I hurt you or made you feel bad in any way, I'm sorry.