My father gets me so mad...
WARNING: This is a complaining entry. If you don't want to hear me complain do not pass this point. Sorry I need to get it out.
I have to stop worrying. I wish I could. I hate when things from the past confront you when you think that they are gone. I wish I was a better person, it would make things a lot easier. I'm trying...it's just so hard when you know you can't do anything about the past. So on the brighter side: I am one of the captains for track (I guess for the jumpers?) He really didn't say anything specific. People tell me I'm too hard on myself especially lately and it's been people that are really important to me...but I don't think I am. I think I should be harder...is this a bad thing?
So I got into a fight with my dad on my way home today because I saw a sign that said cashiers wanted and he flipped on me that it's not easy to be a cashier and how I wouldn't be able to get the job. I don't ask for encouragement it doesn't really bother me that I don't get it...it's just I wish my parents wouldn't put me down so much. When I feel on top of the world they are always sure to bring me back to reality. It's bad enough they don't care about anything I'm in or any concerts I have or anything, like I really don't care but I wish they wouldn't put me down. NO wait I can't say that my mom did come to my one concert I had this year...it was nice knowing she was there for me. Maybe it just gets me to not take things for granted. It's better this way. Maybe it's making me a better person. I bet that's what they're doing it for.
REALLY HAPPY NOTE: I don't know why you're still with me but I'm so happy about it. I love everything about you. I realize I'm not perfect and you love me anyway. You make me so happy! I wish I could see you more. I love you Nate...
I have to stop worrying. I wish I could. I hate when things from the past confront you when you think that they are gone. I wish I was a better person, it would make things a lot easier. I'm trying...it's just so hard when you know you can't do anything about the past. So on the brighter side: I am one of the captains for track (I guess for the jumpers?) He really didn't say anything specific. People tell me I'm too hard on myself especially lately and it's been people that are really important to me...but I don't think I am. I think I should be harder...is this a bad thing?
So I got into a fight with my dad on my way home today because I saw a sign that said cashiers wanted and he flipped on me that it's not easy to be a cashier and how I wouldn't be able to get the job. I don't ask for encouragement it doesn't really bother me that I don't get it...it's just I wish my parents wouldn't put me down so much. When I feel on top of the world they are always sure to bring me back to reality. It's bad enough they don't care about anything I'm in or any concerts I have or anything, like I really don't care but I wish they wouldn't put me down. NO wait I can't say that my mom did come to my one concert I had this year...it was nice knowing she was there for me. Maybe it just gets me to not take things for granted. It's better this way. Maybe it's making me a better person. I bet that's what they're doing it for.
REALLY HAPPY NOTE: I don't know why you're still with me but I'm so happy about it. I love everything about you. I realize I'm not perfect and you love me anyway. You make me so happy! I wish I could see you more. I love you Nate...