RP Log with likebraveheart | Pregnancy & Porn
[Simultaneous to THIS]
So, they were in London, and all Kenzie could feel was awkward. Somewhere along the line, Jules had lined up for them to stay at Braden's wee brother's love nest. Only 'nest' was a way off description. It was huge and it was trendy and everything felt expensive. She stood awkwardly in the middle of the living room while Jules spoke animatedly on the phone to Angus about their trip and the bastard London traffic. At the last minute, they had decided to drive down to London so they would have a car at their disposal. It seemed like a good idea in theory, but bloody hell. She thought Edinburgh was bad for traffic, but London was the devil's arse for it. By the time they reached Notting Hill (Notting fucking Hill, of all places!) Kenzie was shitty and aggravated, dragging her bag inside and dumping it in the middle of the foyer without making an effort to move in any further. It was when Jules took the phone call that Kenzie decided to venture hesitantly into the house further and the sprawling living area was something else.
There were photos lining the mantel and she went over to them, trailing her finger along the edge and realising there wasn't a speck of dust anywhere. This bloke had to have servants, or at least a housekeeper. No expensive, super hot workaholic lawyer was this anal unless they had OCD. Then she spotted a frame with three candid pictures of two guys. One, they were snogging so deeply it looked like their lives depending on it. The next, one had his hand over the other's mouth but they were both pissing themselves laughing. The final, they had their arms around each other and were smiling for the person with the camera and Kenzie didn't have to be a genius to see which one was Braden's brother. They looked so alike, and he looked so amazingly happy with the guy. Kenzie was immediately jealous and she was hit with a sudden urge to bawl her eyes out as she picked the frame up and hugged it like a teddy bear.
Jules ended the call with Angus just in time as she bit her tongue before telling him she loved him. Lately, since they opened the can of horny drunken worms, she'd been unable to stop thinking of him as something more than a friend. She had to keep watching what she said, and Heaven help her the moment she was actually in his presence again. She'd have to stay chained to a chair so she didn't snog him, jump him, or touch him inappropriately. She sighed as she tossed her phone onto the counter, and took another look around at their holiday home.
She let out an appreciative whistle, more than impressed with what Stuart had landed for himself. Her grin faltered though as her gaze hit Kenzie, and she could see the tears threatening. "Hey, hey... Dinnae cry! You cannae cry. I know I'm nay the greatest travel buddy, but come on, love. Isnae need to be so sad." She was trying for a smile and moved towards Kenzie as she reached out to rub her hand against her arm. "You okay?"
Kenzie nodded but her lower lip was trembling and the tears welled up before she could stop them. She held up the frame right in front of Jules face, far too close for her to even be able to focus on it without going cross-eyed. "They're so cute!" she wailed as the snot and tears avalanche started. "You didnae warn me how much he looked like an Evans!" It was a really stupid statement, but she had been making a lot of those lately. Probably more than anyone should be legally allowed in one lifetime. She turned the photo back around and gazed forlornly at them. "Oh fecking hell, why arenae they straight and up for a threesome? I would so do them both in a heartbeat. This much hot in one room is criminal! Am I even allowed to be thinking impure thoughts about Braden's wee brother?" she sobbed.
"Probably nay," Jules replied with a slight smirk as she ran her fingers through Kenzie's red hair. She tried to wrestle the frame from her grip to set it back down, and guide her friend well away from the photos. "Stuart is bisexual, he's just found happiness with a man. Tom is, however, well and truly gay. Your womanly parts willnae do anything for him unfortunately. And he isnae the Evans you want, is he? You really should just call Braden. He willnae bite, I promise. He might be missing you as much as you miss him and you willnae ever find out if you dinnae ask."
Kenzie was trying to dig around in her pocket for a dead tissue before she really made a mess of herself. "He looks so much like Braden, just a wee bit darker in the features. Braden's fairer, and has these cute wee dimple things when he smiles real big." The last word caught in a sob, but she growled at herself in frustration. "I did... I called, but I hung up when he answered, and I used your mobile so he wouldnae see my number on caller ID," she admitted sheepishly. "I did it three times."
Jules snorted. "Instead he'd see mine? What am I supposed to say when he bloody rings back? You really arenae thinking. You dinnae have to hang up on Dimples. He really willnae bite. I think he's just needed a wee bit of time, aye? And if you're here then he cannae feel too pressured. He'll get some more time, but it doesnae have to mean you cannae stay in touch."
"Well, he doesnae hate you! It's different! He hates me! A lot! He hasnae tried to get in touch in any way! And you know what he did? Called in sick for two nights, and then our boss told me before I left that Braden was taking leave without pay. You cannae tell me for a minute that's nay him trying to avoid me! I've only known him to take one sick day in the whole time we worked together and now he cannae even stand to be in my presence! Plus, he told me that morning he brought me home from the ER that he would come back after he changed and showered, but he never did! I fecked it up. I fecked it up worse than I could've even anticpated," Kenzie said helplessly, scraping her fingers through her hair. "He isnae going to want anything to do with me. I'm knocked up with working sperm."
Jules exhaled a slow breath as she glanced up at the ceiling above them for a moment. "You cannae be kicking yourself this hard when you havenae even given him a chance. When you cannae even bring yourself to talk to him. You willnae ever really know what he's thinking if you dinnae ask. It was a shock for you both but he'd have to understand that you didnae plan on getting knocked up. That you werenae planning on being knocked up just after finally sleeping with him. You canne let him go, Kenz. You need to talk to him. You need to... get him back. But you also need to know what you're going to do about the wee bairn."
Kenzie shook her head. "I tried calling his home, I left messages on his machine. He never answered, he never called me back. He's probably gone out and found some awesome lassie who is gorgeous and doesnae get knocked up and doesnae want to be either. He doesnae realise how many of us there are out there. But I've just gone and screwed it all up. I knew I was being a stupid fecking bitch in those weeks after my divorce, but it was just like I needed to... I dinnae know... punish my husband? Like I needed to get him out of my system or something. The only way I seemed to be able to do that was getting blind drunk and fucking anything with a working cock, but you know what? It was fecking exhausting. And now look what I have to deal with." She threw her hands up and shook her head. "He made me feel so amazing. All those other shags had fecking nothing on Braden... I've gone and fallen in love with him, and he hates me. Every time I try and think about the bairn, I want to throw up. I-I think I hate it."
Jules pressed her lips together as she rubbed Kenzie's back. "You've gone and fallen in love with him, and you're just ready to give up? It's his birthday soon... you should do something for it. Show he still means something to you, that you're not just ready to give up. Dinnae you at least want to salvage the partnership? The friendship? You cannae just write him off like this. Same as he can't write you off. You cannae give up, neither of you. I dinnae know what to say, though. Just call his mobile from your mobile. See if he really will just ignore you."
Kenzie held Jules gaze firmly, even if she was still teary. She took her mobile phone out and brought Braden's number up, which had a picture of him in the address book. She just sighed and hit the button to make the call and then put it on speaker phone so Jules could hear. It rang... and rang... and then went to his voicemail. She ended the call and shook her head. "He's screening."
Jules couldn't help it when her shoulders slumped in defeat. "He might just be on the loo, you know. But aye, alright... Point taken. I cannae believe it's over before it even started. I know you dinnae like the bairn so much now, but... Would you really get rid of it?"
Kenzie went over to the nearest chair, a big cushy recliner that nearly swallowed her as soon as she flopped into it. She looked down at her feet for a long few moments, frowning. "I dinnae know. I have time to decide. I just... it's... what mother ever says having a bairn is easy? None of them. They all tell you how hard it is and how tiring it is and how much you never sleep and how your life isnae your own anymore. Why the hell would I want that? I like my life, sort of... well, I like my independence. I like having my own time. I like working long hours. If I ever thought about kids, it was with me being married and having a husband who could help out. Nay like this. This sucks."
Jules moved to sit down on the coffee table and leaned forward as she looked at Kenzie. "And no mother ever says she regrets it. The infant years are definitely going to be hard, and time consuming, but it's a wee bairn! A little life, some part of you in human crying drooling flesh. Aye, it's better when you have a bairn out of love, but... if you were gonna make a life with Brades you werenae gonna have kids. You would have a husband, but no bairns. This way if you ever did get back with him... you could give him a shot at fatherhood. You're offering him something nay other lassie can."
"Part of me and some dick with a cock I have absolutely no feelings for," Kenzie added, shaking her head and hugging herself. She couldn't believe how stupid she felt over getting into this mess. A mess she always frowned on others for getting into. She has a bloody hypocrite. "There was never any lifemaking with Braden. There was arse perving and friendship. He never once indicated he wanted anything with me. He slept with me as a favour. What makes you think he is going to want to be a father to someone else's kid, let alone want anything of a relationship with me?"
"Well, we cannae change that part of it, and it sucks and I'm sorry it happened, you didnae actually do anything wrong," Jules told her softly as she rubbed Kenzie's leg. "You were dealing with a divorce, with the end of a huge part of your life. There isnae a rulebook for dealing with it. You did what you needed to do. Braden cannae hold that against you. He's just... he's an ostritch. Always has been. He's nay always good at dealing with things head on." Jules gave her a soft smile. "Because you're you, and amazing, and he'll soon realise what he's missing."
Kenzie knew this was supposed to be a holiday of sorts to try and get her head together, even if she had tried to protest coming in the first place. But she just missed Braden so much. For almost a year of her life, they had been in each other's presence nearly every day with work. On their days off, they'd text each other jokes and other random things. There had been a small niggle inside her lately that made her wonder if Braden was even the reason her marriage broke down, but it wasn't like it was his fault her ex cheated on her. He had hated Braden by default, calling him a pretty boy with the whole modelling thing. She rested her lips against her hand when her head felt too tired to hold up on its own. "You know the pathetic part? If he was interested and even just wanted to be part of my life in some sense, I would probably be okay with all this."
Jules pointed at her. "How do you know he isnae? Same as how was he supposed to know you wanted more when you knocked back his offer at help. You told him it was just a favour, so that's how he played it. He cannae read minds, just as you can't. I still say you need to have a wee chat, and if it takes me calling him and setting up a fecking conference call, I'll do it."
"You need to get him to pick up, first. He wasnae answering your number, either, mind," Kenzie pointed out and covered her face with her hand. "I'm sorry about all of this. If he's pissed off with you too, it's my fault. I just shoved you in the middle of it all. I didnae mean to push him away completely. I wanted him to stay, I wanted him to know I wasnae taking advantage of him and trying to latch onto him after we slept together, that having him as a friend is what I needed. I never meant to make him feel like all I wanted as a cuddle. I just needed one. I dinnae even know what I was thinking. I guess it was just that I'd hurt him by default being pregnant."
"I'm a big girl, love. I dinnae worry about him being pissed at me. I know I'll just smack it out of him the next time I see him. I've known him too long to let him get away with this." Jules wet her lips as she shifted to perch on the arm rest of the recliner and slipped her arm around Kenzie's shoulder. "Meanwhile, how about we raid this place for homemade porn? I bet there has to be some somewhere."
Kenzie glanced around and then scrunched her nose up a little. "But it's Braden's wee brother. Is that normal? I cannae believe how alike they look now I've seen the photos. Does Gus look like them?"
Jules gave a shake of her head. "Nay, he and the others look like their father. Brades and Stuarty are their ma's kids. Alright, well, how about we just look to see if Tom has porn made with someone else? I bet he does. He strikes me as a personal film buff."
"Aye, alright, let's do it," Kenzie agreed, pushing up out of the chair, even if she struggled with it and eventually had to turn around and back up to do it. "Fuck, what am I going to be like if I hit eight months in the bloody pregancy?" she complained and went over to the cabinets by the huge TV, tugging one open and finding a shit load of DVDs. "Jesus Christ, the guy is better than eBay."
Jules had watched with amusement, and now stood behind her friend as her eyebrows were near her hairline. "Jesus Christ... The bloke's a gay porn eBay. We could make a mint out of these."
Kenzie randonly pulled out a handful of DVDs that were just numbered and shrugged, snapping open one of the cases. She snorted, scrutinizing the large screen and probably top shelf, expensive DVD player. "I hope you know your technology, because I dinnae. I have a forty quid DVD player that I just have to stick the thing in the slot and hit play."
Jules grinned. "Hey, if it's for gay porn, then I'll get the fecker working. And you know what? I think you'll be gorgeous eight months into the pregnancy if you go that route. I cannae wait to be an aunty." She took the disc off Kenzie and scrutinized the set up before she started to push buttons and dropped the disc into the player. "Surround sound, anyone? For that all important real life orgasm sound..."
"Hmm, I'm thinking we might not even need sound. Do you think Stuart knows about all this home made porn? It's like a shrine to ex lovers," Kenzie mused, waiting for the image to go on the screen. "If I started dating Braden and found this sort of thing in his place, I'd want to burn them all."
Jules gave a shake of her head. "I really dinnae know. Maybe it's a part of Tom's past that neither of them have quite confronted yet. Tom hasnae exactly had time to get rid of it. He's been rather indisposed lately."
"I dinnae know if I would be into filming myself. Too worried my butt would look big. In saying that, I'd love a tape of Braden, erm... helping himself," Kenzie admitted sheepishly and started to tug at the collar of her shirt. "Fuck, I'm so horny. I'm so goddamn horny it's nay even funny." It was then that the image flashed up on the screen, Tom balls deep in an extremely hot blonde guy who was riding him. Kenzie's mouth fell open and not even a hurricane would have her tearing her eyes away from that image on the screen.
Jules had been about to comment on Kenzie's horniness when she let out a low, appreciative whistle before wetting her lips. "Fecking hell, I really wanna shag Gus. Like, right now." She tilted her head as she continued to watch, eyes glued to the screen. "Can we just keep this playing all night?"
Kenzie nodded blankly, still staring. "So hot..." she mumbled and it was probably a miracle she wasn't drooling. "Wonder who the blond cutie is. Think he's bi? Think he's bi and would want to bang a knocked up chick? Seeing as a certain other blond willnae come to my party... that's one extremely gorgeous arse up there. I want this TV, think I can steal it? And the DVD..."
Jules was sure a little bit of drool escaped as she continued to watch, marvelling at the sweaty bodies, straining muscles and just sheer sex appeal. "Hm?" She was definitely well past conversation at that point, she wasn't even sure she'd heard Kenzie properly until another few moments past and the blond was doing this thing with his tongue and Jules wondered if it was possible to just spontaneously orgasm from watching the screen. "Couldnae say. Can bi guys even do that?! You should call... erm, whatshisface. He might still want... party. Jesus fecking Christ..."
Before Kenzie could even stop herself, she had her phone out of her pocket and Braden's number dialled. Her eyes never once left the screen and it was like she was possessed with some horny demon evil spirit because she soon heard the words, "Braden, it's Kenzie. I know you really dinnae want to see me right now, but I just wanted you to know that I really, really love your cock and I need it. I need it badly, so please bloody call the fucking hell back! Just once! I dinnae care about anything else, I just really need you to fuck me. Hard. Really, really hard, and forget everything!" It was a loud, sharp groan on the screen that made her squeak and drop the phone in horror. "Oh shit. Oh shiiiiiiiiiit!"
Jules managed to tear her eyes off the screen as she reached out to pick up Kenzie's phone and end the call before Braden got any more colourful noises added to the soundtrack. Her cheeks were flushed, and she was about five minutes from sending dirty text messages to Gus while sticking her hand down her knickers. She didn't have a pregnancy to blame her horniness on, just years of pent up sexual tension for one man.
Kenzie shook her head, horrified and started to back up. "I'm going to die painfully now. Maybe drown myself in the bath. I'm sure it's big enough. Take that phone and dinnae let me fecking near it ever again. On the off chance he calls me back, tell him I'm dead."
Jules glanced down just to check the phone wasn't about to ring, and then looked up at Kenzie. "Hey, hey... it's okay. You really didnae do anything wrong. It was actually a wee bit cute. But aye, alright. I'll hang onto this. Just dinnae kill yourself just yet."
Kenzie flopped back down in the chair that swallowed her. "I'm staying here forever. They can pretend I'm a potplant. I willnae make any noise. This chair, porn. Who need romance? I dinnae. I suck at it anyway. Porn all the way. If I hadnae blown it with him before, I have now. I need chocolate."
"I'll see if I can find any, otherwise I'll leave you with the porn and go to the store. I think we're both going to need chocolate..." Jules was staring at the screen again, wondering just how many times she could watch this and not spontaneously combust into goo. She didn't even need to look at the rest of Tom's collection, this one was more than enough. Tom and the blond and switched positions now, and Tom had the cutie bent over as he pounded into him. "Fuck me, gay guys have serious stamina."
"I hate them. I hate anyone who is getting laid and is not pregnant. They can all kiss my arse," Kenzie bitched, her nose scrunched up in annoyance. She would deny it was a mood swing, in fact, she wanted to just constantly deny she was pregnant so she might have another chance with Braden. "I miss him."
Jules got up onto her feet so she would actually go and look for chocolate before she caught caught in the gay porn blackhole. "I know, love, I know," she murmured as she came over to kiss the top of Kenzie's head. She was already trying to work on how she'd talk to Braden so he'd talk to Kenzie without it being seen as interfering.
So, they were in London, and all Kenzie could feel was awkward. Somewhere along the line, Jules had lined up for them to stay at Braden's wee brother's love nest. Only 'nest' was a way off description. It was huge and it was trendy and everything felt expensive. She stood awkwardly in the middle of the living room while Jules spoke animatedly on the phone to Angus about their trip and the bastard London traffic. At the last minute, they had decided to drive down to London so they would have a car at their disposal. It seemed like a good idea in theory, but bloody hell. She thought Edinburgh was bad for traffic, but London was the devil's arse for it. By the time they reached Notting Hill (Notting fucking Hill, of all places!) Kenzie was shitty and aggravated, dragging her bag inside and dumping it in the middle of the foyer without making an effort to move in any further. It was when Jules took the phone call that Kenzie decided to venture hesitantly into the house further and the sprawling living area was something else.
There were photos lining the mantel and she went over to them, trailing her finger along the edge and realising there wasn't a speck of dust anywhere. This bloke had to have servants, or at least a housekeeper. No expensive, super hot workaholic lawyer was this anal unless they had OCD. Then she spotted a frame with three candid pictures of two guys. One, they were snogging so deeply it looked like their lives depending on it. The next, one had his hand over the other's mouth but they were both pissing themselves laughing. The final, they had their arms around each other and were smiling for the person with the camera and Kenzie didn't have to be a genius to see which one was Braden's brother. They looked so alike, and he looked so amazingly happy with the guy. Kenzie was immediately jealous and she was hit with a sudden urge to bawl her eyes out as she picked the frame up and hugged it like a teddy bear.
Jules ended the call with Angus just in time as she bit her tongue before telling him she loved him. Lately, since they opened the can of horny drunken worms, she'd been unable to stop thinking of him as something more than a friend. She had to keep watching what she said, and Heaven help her the moment she was actually in his presence again. She'd have to stay chained to a chair so she didn't snog him, jump him, or touch him inappropriately. She sighed as she tossed her phone onto the counter, and took another look around at their holiday home.
She let out an appreciative whistle, more than impressed with what Stuart had landed for himself. Her grin faltered though as her gaze hit Kenzie, and she could see the tears threatening. "Hey, hey... Dinnae cry! You cannae cry. I know I'm nay the greatest travel buddy, but come on, love. Isnae need to be so sad." She was trying for a smile and moved towards Kenzie as she reached out to rub her hand against her arm. "You okay?"
Kenzie nodded but her lower lip was trembling and the tears welled up before she could stop them. She held up the frame right in front of Jules face, far too close for her to even be able to focus on it without going cross-eyed. "They're so cute!" she wailed as the snot and tears avalanche started. "You didnae warn me how much he looked like an Evans!" It was a really stupid statement, but she had been making a lot of those lately. Probably more than anyone should be legally allowed in one lifetime. She turned the photo back around and gazed forlornly at them. "Oh fecking hell, why arenae they straight and up for a threesome? I would so do them both in a heartbeat. This much hot in one room is criminal! Am I even allowed to be thinking impure thoughts about Braden's wee brother?" she sobbed.
"Probably nay," Jules replied with a slight smirk as she ran her fingers through Kenzie's red hair. She tried to wrestle the frame from her grip to set it back down, and guide her friend well away from the photos. "Stuart is bisexual, he's just found happiness with a man. Tom is, however, well and truly gay. Your womanly parts willnae do anything for him unfortunately. And he isnae the Evans you want, is he? You really should just call Braden. He willnae bite, I promise. He might be missing you as much as you miss him and you willnae ever find out if you dinnae ask."
Kenzie was trying to dig around in her pocket for a dead tissue before she really made a mess of herself. "He looks so much like Braden, just a wee bit darker in the features. Braden's fairer, and has these cute wee dimple things when he smiles real big." The last word caught in a sob, but she growled at herself in frustration. "I did... I called, but I hung up when he answered, and I used your mobile so he wouldnae see my number on caller ID," she admitted sheepishly. "I did it three times."
Jules snorted. "Instead he'd see mine? What am I supposed to say when he bloody rings back? You really arenae thinking. You dinnae have to hang up on Dimples. He really willnae bite. I think he's just needed a wee bit of time, aye? And if you're here then he cannae feel too pressured. He'll get some more time, but it doesnae have to mean you cannae stay in touch."
"Well, he doesnae hate you! It's different! He hates me! A lot! He hasnae tried to get in touch in any way! And you know what he did? Called in sick for two nights, and then our boss told me before I left that Braden was taking leave without pay. You cannae tell me for a minute that's nay him trying to avoid me! I've only known him to take one sick day in the whole time we worked together and now he cannae even stand to be in my presence! Plus, he told me that morning he brought me home from the ER that he would come back after he changed and showered, but he never did! I fecked it up. I fecked it up worse than I could've even anticpated," Kenzie said helplessly, scraping her fingers through her hair. "He isnae going to want anything to do with me. I'm knocked up with working sperm."
Jules exhaled a slow breath as she glanced up at the ceiling above them for a moment. "You cannae be kicking yourself this hard when you havenae even given him a chance. When you cannae even bring yourself to talk to him. You willnae ever really know what he's thinking if you dinnae ask. It was a shock for you both but he'd have to understand that you didnae plan on getting knocked up. That you werenae planning on being knocked up just after finally sleeping with him. You canne let him go, Kenz. You need to talk to him. You need to... get him back. But you also need to know what you're going to do about the wee bairn."
Kenzie shook her head. "I tried calling his home, I left messages on his machine. He never answered, he never called me back. He's probably gone out and found some awesome lassie who is gorgeous and doesnae get knocked up and doesnae want to be either. He doesnae realise how many of us there are out there. But I've just gone and screwed it all up. I knew I was being a stupid fecking bitch in those weeks after my divorce, but it was just like I needed to... I dinnae know... punish my husband? Like I needed to get him out of my system or something. The only way I seemed to be able to do that was getting blind drunk and fucking anything with a working cock, but you know what? It was fecking exhausting. And now look what I have to deal with." She threw her hands up and shook her head. "He made me feel so amazing. All those other shags had fecking nothing on Braden... I've gone and fallen in love with him, and he hates me. Every time I try and think about the bairn, I want to throw up. I-I think I hate it."
Jules pressed her lips together as she rubbed Kenzie's back. "You've gone and fallen in love with him, and you're just ready to give up? It's his birthday soon... you should do something for it. Show he still means something to you, that you're not just ready to give up. Dinnae you at least want to salvage the partnership? The friendship? You cannae just write him off like this. Same as he can't write you off. You cannae give up, neither of you. I dinnae know what to say, though. Just call his mobile from your mobile. See if he really will just ignore you."
Kenzie held Jules gaze firmly, even if she was still teary. She took her mobile phone out and brought Braden's number up, which had a picture of him in the address book. She just sighed and hit the button to make the call and then put it on speaker phone so Jules could hear. It rang... and rang... and then went to his voicemail. She ended the call and shook her head. "He's screening."
Jules couldn't help it when her shoulders slumped in defeat. "He might just be on the loo, you know. But aye, alright... Point taken. I cannae believe it's over before it even started. I know you dinnae like the bairn so much now, but... Would you really get rid of it?"
Kenzie went over to the nearest chair, a big cushy recliner that nearly swallowed her as soon as she flopped into it. She looked down at her feet for a long few moments, frowning. "I dinnae know. I have time to decide. I just... it's... what mother ever says having a bairn is easy? None of them. They all tell you how hard it is and how tiring it is and how much you never sleep and how your life isnae your own anymore. Why the hell would I want that? I like my life, sort of... well, I like my independence. I like having my own time. I like working long hours. If I ever thought about kids, it was with me being married and having a husband who could help out. Nay like this. This sucks."
Jules moved to sit down on the coffee table and leaned forward as she looked at Kenzie. "And no mother ever says she regrets it. The infant years are definitely going to be hard, and time consuming, but it's a wee bairn! A little life, some part of you in human crying drooling flesh. Aye, it's better when you have a bairn out of love, but... if you were gonna make a life with Brades you werenae gonna have kids. You would have a husband, but no bairns. This way if you ever did get back with him... you could give him a shot at fatherhood. You're offering him something nay other lassie can."
"Part of me and some dick with a cock I have absolutely no feelings for," Kenzie added, shaking her head and hugging herself. She couldn't believe how stupid she felt over getting into this mess. A mess she always frowned on others for getting into. She has a bloody hypocrite. "There was never any lifemaking with Braden. There was arse perving and friendship. He never once indicated he wanted anything with me. He slept with me as a favour. What makes you think he is going to want to be a father to someone else's kid, let alone want anything of a relationship with me?"
"Well, we cannae change that part of it, and it sucks and I'm sorry it happened, you didnae actually do anything wrong," Jules told her softly as she rubbed Kenzie's leg. "You were dealing with a divorce, with the end of a huge part of your life. There isnae a rulebook for dealing with it. You did what you needed to do. Braden cannae hold that against you. He's just... he's an ostritch. Always has been. He's nay always good at dealing with things head on." Jules gave her a soft smile. "Because you're you, and amazing, and he'll soon realise what he's missing."
Kenzie knew this was supposed to be a holiday of sorts to try and get her head together, even if she had tried to protest coming in the first place. But she just missed Braden so much. For almost a year of her life, they had been in each other's presence nearly every day with work. On their days off, they'd text each other jokes and other random things. There had been a small niggle inside her lately that made her wonder if Braden was even the reason her marriage broke down, but it wasn't like it was his fault her ex cheated on her. He had hated Braden by default, calling him a pretty boy with the whole modelling thing. She rested her lips against her hand when her head felt too tired to hold up on its own. "You know the pathetic part? If he was interested and even just wanted to be part of my life in some sense, I would probably be okay with all this."
Jules pointed at her. "How do you know he isnae? Same as how was he supposed to know you wanted more when you knocked back his offer at help. You told him it was just a favour, so that's how he played it. He cannae read minds, just as you can't. I still say you need to have a wee chat, and if it takes me calling him and setting up a fecking conference call, I'll do it."
"You need to get him to pick up, first. He wasnae answering your number, either, mind," Kenzie pointed out and covered her face with her hand. "I'm sorry about all of this. If he's pissed off with you too, it's my fault. I just shoved you in the middle of it all. I didnae mean to push him away completely. I wanted him to stay, I wanted him to know I wasnae taking advantage of him and trying to latch onto him after we slept together, that having him as a friend is what I needed. I never meant to make him feel like all I wanted as a cuddle. I just needed one. I dinnae even know what I was thinking. I guess it was just that I'd hurt him by default being pregnant."
"I'm a big girl, love. I dinnae worry about him being pissed at me. I know I'll just smack it out of him the next time I see him. I've known him too long to let him get away with this." Jules wet her lips as she shifted to perch on the arm rest of the recliner and slipped her arm around Kenzie's shoulder. "Meanwhile, how about we raid this place for homemade porn? I bet there has to be some somewhere."
Kenzie glanced around and then scrunched her nose up a little. "But it's Braden's wee brother. Is that normal? I cannae believe how alike they look now I've seen the photos. Does Gus look like them?"
Jules gave a shake of her head. "Nay, he and the others look like their father. Brades and Stuarty are their ma's kids. Alright, well, how about we just look to see if Tom has porn made with someone else? I bet he does. He strikes me as a personal film buff."
"Aye, alright, let's do it," Kenzie agreed, pushing up out of the chair, even if she struggled with it and eventually had to turn around and back up to do it. "Fuck, what am I going to be like if I hit eight months in the bloody pregancy?" she complained and went over to the cabinets by the huge TV, tugging one open and finding a shit load of DVDs. "Jesus Christ, the guy is better than eBay."
Jules had watched with amusement, and now stood behind her friend as her eyebrows were near her hairline. "Jesus Christ... The bloke's a gay porn eBay. We could make a mint out of these."
Kenzie randonly pulled out a handful of DVDs that were just numbered and shrugged, snapping open one of the cases. She snorted, scrutinizing the large screen and probably top shelf, expensive DVD player. "I hope you know your technology, because I dinnae. I have a forty quid DVD player that I just have to stick the thing in the slot and hit play."
Jules grinned. "Hey, if it's for gay porn, then I'll get the fecker working. And you know what? I think you'll be gorgeous eight months into the pregnancy if you go that route. I cannae wait to be an aunty." She took the disc off Kenzie and scrutinized the set up before she started to push buttons and dropped the disc into the player. "Surround sound, anyone? For that all important real life orgasm sound..."
"Hmm, I'm thinking we might not even need sound. Do you think Stuart knows about all this home made porn? It's like a shrine to ex lovers," Kenzie mused, waiting for the image to go on the screen. "If I started dating Braden and found this sort of thing in his place, I'd want to burn them all."
Jules gave a shake of her head. "I really dinnae know. Maybe it's a part of Tom's past that neither of them have quite confronted yet. Tom hasnae exactly had time to get rid of it. He's been rather indisposed lately."
"I dinnae know if I would be into filming myself. Too worried my butt would look big. In saying that, I'd love a tape of Braden, erm... helping himself," Kenzie admitted sheepishly and started to tug at the collar of her shirt. "Fuck, I'm so horny. I'm so goddamn horny it's nay even funny." It was then that the image flashed up on the screen, Tom balls deep in an extremely hot blonde guy who was riding him. Kenzie's mouth fell open and not even a hurricane would have her tearing her eyes away from that image on the screen.
Jules had been about to comment on Kenzie's horniness when she let out a low, appreciative whistle before wetting her lips. "Fecking hell, I really wanna shag Gus. Like, right now." She tilted her head as she continued to watch, eyes glued to the screen. "Can we just keep this playing all night?"
Kenzie nodded blankly, still staring. "So hot..." she mumbled and it was probably a miracle she wasn't drooling. "Wonder who the blond cutie is. Think he's bi? Think he's bi and would want to bang a knocked up chick? Seeing as a certain other blond willnae come to my party... that's one extremely gorgeous arse up there. I want this TV, think I can steal it? And the DVD..."
Jules was sure a little bit of drool escaped as she continued to watch, marvelling at the sweaty bodies, straining muscles and just sheer sex appeal. "Hm?" She was definitely well past conversation at that point, she wasn't even sure she'd heard Kenzie properly until another few moments past and the blond was doing this thing with his tongue and Jules wondered if it was possible to just spontaneously orgasm from watching the screen. "Couldnae say. Can bi guys even do that?! You should call... erm, whatshisface. He might still want... party. Jesus fecking Christ..."
Before Kenzie could even stop herself, she had her phone out of her pocket and Braden's number dialled. Her eyes never once left the screen and it was like she was possessed with some horny demon evil spirit because she soon heard the words, "Braden, it's Kenzie. I know you really dinnae want to see me right now, but I just wanted you to know that I really, really love your cock and I need it. I need it badly, so please bloody call the fucking hell back! Just once! I dinnae care about anything else, I just really need you to fuck me. Hard. Really, really hard, and forget everything!" It was a loud, sharp groan on the screen that made her squeak and drop the phone in horror. "Oh shit. Oh shiiiiiiiiiit!"
Jules managed to tear her eyes off the screen as she reached out to pick up Kenzie's phone and end the call before Braden got any more colourful noises added to the soundtrack. Her cheeks were flushed, and she was about five minutes from sending dirty text messages to Gus while sticking her hand down her knickers. She didn't have a pregnancy to blame her horniness on, just years of pent up sexual tension for one man.
Kenzie shook her head, horrified and started to back up. "I'm going to die painfully now. Maybe drown myself in the bath. I'm sure it's big enough. Take that phone and dinnae let me fecking near it ever again. On the off chance he calls me back, tell him I'm dead."
Jules glanced down just to check the phone wasn't about to ring, and then looked up at Kenzie. "Hey, hey... it's okay. You really didnae do anything wrong. It was actually a wee bit cute. But aye, alright. I'll hang onto this. Just dinnae kill yourself just yet."
Kenzie flopped back down in the chair that swallowed her. "I'm staying here forever. They can pretend I'm a potplant. I willnae make any noise. This chair, porn. Who need romance? I dinnae. I suck at it anyway. Porn all the way. If I hadnae blown it with him before, I have now. I need chocolate."
"I'll see if I can find any, otherwise I'll leave you with the porn and go to the store. I think we're both going to need chocolate..." Jules was staring at the screen again, wondering just how many times she could watch this and not spontaneously combust into goo. She didn't even need to look at the rest of Tom's collection, this one was more than enough. Tom and the blond and switched positions now, and Tom had the cutie bent over as he pounded into him. "Fuck me, gay guys have serious stamina."
"I hate them. I hate anyone who is getting laid and is not pregnant. They can all kiss my arse," Kenzie bitched, her nose scrunched up in annoyance. She would deny it was a mood swing, in fact, she wanted to just constantly deny she was pregnant so she might have another chance with Braden. "I miss him."
Jules got up onto her feet so she would actually go and look for chocolate before she caught caught in the gay porn blackhole. "I know, love, I know," she murmured as she came over to kiss the top of Kenzie's head. She was already trying to work on how she'd talk to Braden so he'd talk to Kenzie without it being seen as interfering.