confusion
So here i was sitting on the couch, watching a lifetime movie about adoption... and as many of u know i was adopted. and they were dealing with some really tough issues and it got me thinking. no wonder i get upset all the time.. no wonder i am overly sensitive.. no one i'm scared to grow up lonely. i was born un-loved. maybe i was maybe i wasn't, but it sure as hell feels like it. it doesn't feel so hot knowing that your real mom gave u away. and makes u wonder, did she love me, did she want me, was i not good enough, is she alive, do i look like her? maybe it was for the best. i have two loving parents, adn a sister and i'm a aunt of 2 years. yeah there maybe tough times but hey. so what if my real mom was young, my sister took care of her baby... and she was young. when i walk down the street.... do i run into her? when i have classes.... is she my teacher? when i sleep at friends houses... is she their mom? does she have other kids? why couldn't she have me? was i to small? did i cry to much? was my hair to red? what was so wrong with me... that she couldn't have me? did it kill her inside to give me up? or was it like taking a test... u just had to do it? does she think of me? when i turn 18 and i'm legaly allowed to meet her... will she like me? will i just be a disapointment? will she be alive? what would she have named me?
olivia
olivia